Have you ever been so madly in love that you've given your whole self over to a man - only to find out you've been used? It's not only men who date women they don't love just to get money, status or... certain physical benefits. There are a lot of women out there who don't love their partners and stay with them only for the side perks. Whether they're with a man they don't love for money, security, or freaky moves in the bedroom, these women have no problem with leading their men on while getting as much out of them as they can. Some of them are even using their men for money while cheating with someone else?
Why would a woman do something like that? Sometimes it's because they have no respect for their men (probably because he lets her walk all over him.) Other women found out their boyfriend cheated and instead of confronting him, are getting back at the lowlife by stringing him along. The most heartbreaking circumstances are when a woman is using a man she doesn't love because the only other option is ruining her life. What can someone possibly do in that situation? Read on to see if you recognize yourself in these women who stopped loving and started using their men.
22 Back-Up Boyfriend?
This girl thinks boyfriends are a trendy accessory: if she can't have this year's edition, she'll root around in the bargain bin until she finds a fake to pass off as the real thing. It doesn't work for handbags, and it doesn't work for men. She's self-aware in that she knows dating a guy she doesn't love is using him (well, "like useing" him) though she doesn't seem to be taking responsibility for her actions. Asking the Internet whether you should do something that's obviously terrible isn't so much seeking advice as seeking attention. Maybe she's looking to improve her options by tossing a wider net. After all, if other guys know someone has a crush on her, maybe they'll be more likely to apply for the boyfriend job. It's good to have a number of candidate to fill a vacant position - competition can only improve quality of work.
21 If You Have To Ask...
Surely random people on the Internet can resolve this poor girl's conundrum. After all, she's given us so much information. This whisper confession seems more like a cry for more men to send her direct messages, or DMs, so that she can complain to them about her ex and poke at her flimsy relationship with her rebound. Girl, if you're serious about getting over your man and hooking up with as many guys as possible, don't try to dance around it. Own your new freedom. Let all those men out there know what you want, when you want it, and how you want them to give it to you. Don't send out a wimpy plea for advice on whisper. Be one of those people who spells out their desires in graphic detail. Trust us, men will find you much more interesting.
20 Might Want To Sort That Out
There are a lot of great guys out there. We're not capable of loving all of them. Can you imagine how confusing the world would be if you fell in love with every cute guy? Okay, maybe we know some girls like that, but they've left a trail of broken hearts in their wake (and they're not exactly happy themselves). When a good man loves you and you don't love him back, it's usually best to let him go. How do you know if you love him or not? A big red flag is asking anonymous people on the Internet whether you do. If you have to ask, he's not the love of your life. Hurt him a little by dropping him now so that you don't cause him the anguish of loving someone who doesn't love him back.
19 What Girl Doesn't Use Her Boyfriend Like This?
After this one, things get dark - so enjoy the break. We don't doubt that this girl loves her boyfriend. She's just using him for his intended purpose: heating. Let's face it, guys have a higher metabolism than we do. Their bodies take in energy much less efficiently than ours, which means that they can eat whatever they want and don't need to carry sweaters around in the summer in case of sudden air conditioning. To compensate for the unfairness, they need to share that extra heat generated by their big, energy-guzzling bodies. A good boyfriend is always on call for warm snuggles in the winter. He should be a source of pre-heated hoodies and sweatpants. And he should be stoic through the long nights where his girlfriend installs her ice-cold feet on the backs of his legs in order to maintain circulation.
18 It's Him Or Homelessness
It's hard to find fault with either side in this tragedy. This woman doesn't want to be using her man. There's just no other option. We don't know the specific circumstances surrounding her homelessness, but we do know that if she's living in the United States, she probably got into this situation because she couldn't make enough money to cover rent in the current market. This is a huge problem in middle America, where factory closures are leaving entire towns without employment while the cost of living skyrockets. When it comes down to being with a man you don't love and not having a roof over her head, this woman chose the former. We wish people never had to make decisions like that. Hopefully, she will find a way out one day.
17 Sounds Like She Wants To Step In...
If we take what she's saying at face value, her friend is definitely in the wrong. But something seems a little off here. Why is she this invested in the way her friend is treating her boyfriend? There's no way she knows what the whole situation is. We think it's more likely that she's got her eye on her friend's guy and is looking for a way to justify moving in on him. After all, it's not wrong to be a homewrecker if you've got the best intentions. The way she sees it, she's SAVING this guy, not betraying her friend. Deep down, though, we bet she knows the truth. Whether or not she's right about her friend using her boyfriend, this lady should probably stop butting into other people's business, or at least take this up with her friend rather than the Internet.
16 At Least It's Mutual
There's room for love in this arrangement. Ultimately, though, it's all about practicality. Would she still be with this guy if he went bankrupt? More importantly, does she have her own source of income? If her man gets tired of her lingerie and decides to trade her in for a younger model, this woman needs a backup plan other than selling whatever high heels she was wearing when she got kicked out. Maybe she can get a job and slowly build up a savings account while he pays her living expenses. Remember: there are smart sugar babies, and there are young women who get taken advantage of in return for some jewelry and designer clothes. If someone's paying for your services - any sort of services - keep your options open in case you suddenly lose your position.
15 We're Sure He'll Accept Some Other Form Of Payment
Can you love your man and still cheat on him? Not if you're this smug about it. Sure, maybe she's getting a momentary thrill out of using two men at once, but it's not worth the inevitable fallout. Also, how could she possibly look at herself in the mirror after doing something like this? We think that her bragging is a shallow veneer of bravado that's likely to disappear as soon as she's confronted with her two-timing ways. There's no way her boyfriend won't find out about this. And the personal trainer? Best case scenario, he's using her as much as she is him; worst case, he doesn't know she has a boyfriend and is going to be devastated when he finds out. Seriously, girl, take our advice and switch gyms while you can.
14 Are YOU Staying With Him Out Of Fear?
Change is terrifying. When you build a life with your man, it's not only your love for each other that ties you two together. Once you're at the eight-year mark you're looking at nearly a decade of splitting rent (or even sharing a mortgage), merging your friend groups together, and maybe raising children. It's not just a guy you're leaving. It's your entire way of life. But what's worse - changing everything, or staying with your man out of fear? If you let fear drive your life, you'll never be satisfied. Embrace the upheaval, leave the man you don't love anymore, and find one you do love. Or learn how to live on your own. Either way, you'll be much happier a few years down the road if you leave a failing relationship.
13 Is It Better If She's Not Still Dating Him?
Hmmm... we don't know how to feel about this one. Way to make things grammatically ambiguous, lady. The first option is that she recently used her ex-boyfriend for money, in which case we congratulate her for adeptly manipulating her jerk of an ex into compensating her for wasted time, or condemn her for taking advantage of a broken-hearted soul who only wants her love. The alternative is that she used her then-boyfriend for money, and he is now her ex. Did he leave her because he realized she was using him? Good for him! Or did she ditch him for a more lucrative cash cow? Honestly, the first option is much more interesting. We wish she gave us more detail on that one. Tips on how to extract money from annoyingly successful exes who managed to get richer than us are greatly appreciated.
12 Ten Years Later And She Realizes She's Wasted Her Life
Long ago, women stayed with their men because a breakup meant losing financial support for their ten children, being condemned by the entire town and possibly being burned as a witch. In modern times, it means you spend a week eating chocolate and crying to your friends until they get sick of you. Is it the best emotion in the world? Of course not, but that week of eating your feelings and boring your friends is infinitely preferable to waking up ten years later next to someone you hate. Resentment only builds if you don't address it, ladies. Don't become the female half of that old couple who openly hates each other and makes Thanksgiving insufferable for their children and grandchildren. Cut the cord and buy a Toblerone (and a gym membership for the week after.)
11 This Guy Deserves It
When someone is dishonest they deserve payback... in the form of being confronted. When you take an eye for an eye, everybody loses. Sure, it gives us a vicarious thrill to read this confession. Who doesn't fantasize about getting back at their ex? The problem is, he's not her ex, he's her current boyfriend. She has to keep sleeping with this guy while secretly hating him and planning to betray him at the first possible opportunity. Maybe it's a turn-on for her? Even still, while the big reveal will be cathartic, it's got to leave her with a lot of guilt. Graduating from school debt-free might seem like decent compensation for getting cheated on, but maybe you should tell the cheater what you're doing first. If he's even a remotely decent guy, he might still pay, and you won't be deceiving someone as your part-time job all through school.
10 Staying Together For The Rent Money
This woman's roommate needs to learn how to keep it in her pants. If you're not in love with your boyfriend anymore, and you need him to pay his share of the rent money, try waiting until the rent is paid to cheat on him. It's just double the insult if you don't. The thing is, the boyfriend in this situation may know what his woman is doing... and is letting it continue, because he needs to her to pay her half of the rent. This is when you should just downgrade to being roommates, guys. Rooming with your ex has its drawbacks, but at least no one is being used. Just make sure to bring the new man over only when roomie isn't at home. No man's psyche can withstand both rooming with his ex and being forced to listen to her and her new boyfriend getting intimate.
9 Just Call Triple-A
Give this woman a reality TV show. When someone's this outrageously terrible they need to be removed from normal people and relocated to Kardashian Central. Maybe she can be Scott Disick's new girl? It seems like Sofia Richie is almost finished putting up with him, so it's the perfect time for a new girl to step in. The Tow Truck Cheater will no doubt get Kourtney's attention, Scott, so snap her up while you can! Seriously, how does someone even become this awful? And why couldn't the guy she was with pay? We hope the tow truck guy has the decency to tell this woman's boyfriend about the compromising position she was in when he pulled her car out of the ditch. Next time, maybe he should leave her there.
8 More Like A Pillow Than A Boyfriend
Everyone gets comfortable in a relationship. That comfort shouldn't be the reason you're staying with your man, though. Fuzzy socks, a warm blanket, and a hot cup of tea are all things that will make you comfortable AND that don't require leading someone on for years on end. If you love your comfy, warm understanding man, all the better for the both of you; it's just another perk of your wonderful relationship. If you don't love him, buy a pair of socks and set him free. A great guy deserves someone who truly loves him, not someone who's using him as a pillow. And you deserve to be with someone you love, too. Plus, losing your main source of comfort gives you an excuse to buy that hygge book and make your house all cozy.
7 Can't Have It Both Ways
Is settling for less a requirement when you put down roots? We certainly don't think so. If you're having doubts about your man, staying with him in case you feel like settling down (maybe) at some point in your life is the worst thing you could do for the both of you. Of course, if it's just a matter of the honeymoon period ending, you should try to evaluate your feelings closely. Sometimes, it's worth it to put in the work to keep a long term relationship going even though you're not madly in love all the time. But worrying about not having anyone to settle down with is not a reason to keep your relationship alive. If you care about him, if you can envision a future with him, then go to couples counseling. Keeping him around as a backup plan, however, will not work.
6 Your Parents Will Be So Proud
For some women, a new boyfriend gets infinitely more attractive when he has parental approval. He's not just a hot guy who knows his way around the bedroom - he's got the potential to be part of the family. Unfortunately, when he gets too entangled with your parents, it's hard to separate your feelings from theirs. You might feel like you're depriving them of a new son-in-law when you dump your boyfriend. Ultimately, though, your parents want you to be happy. If you can't stay with a man, they should understand that and respect your decision. Secretly, they'll be a little disappointed. But if you brought home a quality man one time, there's no doubt you'll do so again. Using your man for parental approval is still using him - do the right thing and let him go.
5 Who Needs Love When You Can Have... Safety?
If you've had bad experiences with men, it can be a relief when a halfway decent member of the male species comes along. You might think that he's your only shot at happiness. And you're wrong. There are millions of good men out there, and if you don't click with the first one you meet, it doesn't mean you'll never find anyone else. It just means that he isn't the one. You'll cause him some pain when you dump him, and probably experience some emotional turmoil yourself, but love is a two-way street: if you don't love him, after a few years he won't love you either. And that is one sad situation to be in. If you have a heap of terrible ex-boyfriends, make this guy the first ex you stay on good terms with. Find someone who makes you feel safe AND whom you can love.
4 At Least Until Someone Else Comes Along
We all have a friend like this girl. She's stringing along some poor chump she doesn't care about because she thinks she can't get anything better. How are you suppose to build a relationship on THAT kind of attitude? If you're with your boyfriend only because you don't think you have a good reason to break up, then don't worry - you have your reason. Not wanting to be with someone is a perfectly good excuse to break up with them. Maybe you know deep in your heart that you should be breaking up with him, but you're waiting until someone better comes along? Girl, learn to be single. You and everyone in your life will be better off if you figure out how to get through the day on your own. And if you grow more as a person, you'll find the man of your dreams.
3 Get Freaky
If we went by stereotypes, it would be the guy staying with the girl because she's freaky in bed, but we all know that in real life it's hard to find someone of any gender who shares your... personal preferences. Still, maybe it's time to downgrade to friends with benefits. Girls, raise your hands if you've been used physically by a guy. Annnd that's everyone reading this. Now remember how awful you felt when you found out he didn't love you, even though you were enjoying yourself. No one deserves to go through something like that. Make your purely physical intentions crystal clear, and if he walks away, get a profile on Fetlife. With modern technology and a little bit of legwork, you'll be sure to find someone (or multiple someones) who can fulfill your needs.
2 Making The Best Of A Bad Situation
Can money buy happiness? Maybe, but not if you're getting it from the guy who made you sad in the first place. This is just going to tie you to him more, girl. Don't become financially dependent on someone who hurt you, because it's only going to give him more ways to harm you in the future. What if he cuts you off? Plus, you deserve someone better than that. By staying with him, you're limiting your options and making it completely impossible to move on. Trust us when we say that money will make you even happier if you earn it yourself or at least date a rich guy who treats you right. There are apps out there that can help you find a nice, generous millionaire who will provide for all your needs WITHOUT being a total jerk.
1 Anything But Being A Single Mother!
We're sure that staying together for the kids will work. After all, everyone knows that parents who can't stand being in the same room as one another are much better than those who are separated while maintaining a civil relationship with one another. In this woman's case, we're hoping that leaving her boyfriend won't mean that he stops helping her raise his children. Co-parenting without being in a relationship is totally a thing, girls. Unless this man is a complete monster, he'll at least contribute financially to the children you have together. Though we all know that there are some men out there who dodge child support. Still, if you decide to leave your man, you should still expect him to be a good dad. The amount of love he has for his children won't change when their mother ends the relationship.
Sources: whisper.sh, mayoclinic.org, nlchp.org, hollywoodlife.com