One of the essential ingredients that ensures the success of any relationships is trust. Trust is the foundation of love. The chemistry is perfect, he's amazing, fun to hang around with...but if you cannot trust him or he doesn't trust you, then the relationship will crumble before long.
But trust is not something that should be readily bestowed upon a guy you just met. Trust has to be earned by both partners in a relationship. But how do you find out if a guy is trustworthy or not?
Though trust is a key ingredient in a successful relationship, it's not something that is easily found.
Trustworthiness is a sign of maturity. A lot of people, especially the younger ones involved in relationships simply haven’t reached that stage of development yet. They may end up going through several relationships before learning their lessons and gaining that maturity.
But then again, that's not true for everyone. Honesty, respect for women, respect for others, value for relationships, value for time, kindness, politeness...these are characteristics that are built in a person as he grows up and if you are really lucky, you might find all of these in your very first relationship, however young you both are.
So before you endow him with something as precious as your trust, check out these 20 signs all trustworthy men have in common.
21 He Doesn’t Hide His Phone From You
We should definitely respect another person's privacy. Snooping around and checking his messages or call lists is a definite trust breaker. But that said, if he freaks out if you just touch his phone, then that's a warning sign. Ask to borrow his phone to make a call. How does he react? If he's cool with it, then you can be sure he has nothing to hide.
If he insists on calling the number for you and then hanging around to snatch the phone back the moment you hang up, that's a red flag.
Does he tilt the phone away from you when he is texting someone? Does he take the phone with him to the bathroom? Do you see the phone lying around or does he guard it like a dog with a bone? These are also signs of defensiveness and paranoia.
Another thing you can consider is his passwords or pin protection. How secretive is he about it? Is he willing to share it with you? If you pick up his phone to make a call and casually ask for his pin, how does he react? Even if he is trustworthy, he may or may not reveal it to you depending on the level of your relationship, but how he reacts to your question is a good indicator of how trustworthy he may be. If he is calm and cool and smiles while taking the phone from you and unlocking it, it may be that he is just not ready to share it with you yet, but if he totally freaks out, then he is hiding something or has serious trust issues.
20 He Doesn't Avoid Talking On The Phone When You Are Around
Does he always leave the room when the phone rings, to attend the call? Then you need to practice caution as this is one of the most obvious signs that the person cannot be trusted. The key word here is always! There may be a time he may need to take a call in private. He may even tell you, "it's a call from the office, I'll take it outside". He may come back in after the call and tell you who it was or why we went out. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is telling the truth. It may be only a certain person's call that he attends in private while he takes all other calls in front of you. You need to be wise in your judgment of the situation,
On the other hand, it's imperative that you don't get unnecessarily paranoid if he did walk out of the room to attend a call, it could be as simple as the room was too noisy or maybe he gets better mobile reception outside. Sometimes he may need privacy for conversations with his parents. How comfortable he feels about revealing family drama, depends on the depth of your relationship.
Everyone has personal matters to attend to, and people have the right not to share personal information with anybody else unless they really feel like it. You have to earn his trust too. Acting suspicious and paranoid can also destroy your relationship even before it takes root. The line between being paranoid and trusting someone blindly is a very thin one. Take care to stay on the middle path and weigh the pros and cons of the situation.
19 He Acknowledges You On Social Media
You have been dating for a while and now you are thinking he is Mr. Right. You are considering asking him to move in with you or whatever the next step in your relationship is. You may even have started out as Facebook friends, but you find that there are no photos of you both together or maybe no photos of you at all, in his social media pages, its something you need to think about.
Simply put, if a guy doesn’t want to acknowledge you on social media, he may be trying to come across as single.
It might sound weird and like a minor thing, he may probably brush it off as he didn't have time to bother with social media as he is too busy wooing you. In today's world, social media plays a big role in making and breaking relationships. If he is a trustworthy guy, then he will acknowledge you on social media. If he is serious about you, then he will change his status to 'committed' or whatever equivalent of your relationship status.
Now, this is again something you need to take with a pinch of salt. Before breaking up with him over such an issue, you need to have an understanding of his personality. Is he actually active on social media? Does he even have a social media page? Is he updating his account with recent photos? If so then what kind of photos? Maybe they are just general photos, nature or animals...indicating that he is a person who prefers to keep his private life...private. This may mean that he actually values your relationship and prefers not to put it on public display. It all depends on what kind of personality he has.
18 He Isn’t Constantly Flirting With Other Girls
Some men are born charmers, or in other words...flirts. This doesn’t quite mean that he’s a cheater or a liar. But it may be an indication of the fact that he is not that invested in the relationship. Flirting with other girls all the time is a definite sign that he isn’t quite settled into the relationship with you. This isn't necessarily a sign of being untrustworthy. It may simply mean he is not at a stage to fully commit himself to a relationship.
If your spouse is a flirt, you would have been with him long enough to judge how harmless it is. Some people simply cannot help themselves no matter how hard they try. Such people flirt with others whenever they get the chance to. This does not mean that you need to get paranoid about every new friend of your partner's. Does he flirt in front of you or behind your back? Does he look guilty when you catch him flirting? Does he get defensive and tell you it's just a mere chat.
Does he flirt with everyone or anyone in particular? You should keep your eyes open and look for those small yet essential signs that might give away whether this is something you need to get worried about. Keep in mind that no one likes an overly possessive, clingy girlfriend who questions their every move. If he feels afraid to talk to the opposite gender without you getting offended, your relationship is not going to last. A trustworthy man will know how to balance being friendly to other women while ensuring his woman feels secure.
17 You’ve Met His Friends
Friends play an important part of our lives. Our close friends know what's happening in our lives, especially about things that matter the most. So if his friends have not even heard about you, then chances are you don't have much prominence in his life. Maybe he just sees you as a passing fling. But if he does introduce you to his friends and they know many positive things about you, then that means he talks about you. This is, in turn, implies you are important to him.
The next thing to consider is whether he insists on friends only nights or does he include you with the group once in a while.
A once in a while guys only beer night or soccer match is to be expected, but when a guy is in love and serious about his relationship, he wants his friends to get to know her more and approve of her. So he will at least arrange a few get-togethers.
On the other hand, there are guys who are very possessive or may be overprotective, who like to keep you at a certain distance from his friends. Maybe he doesn't want them revealing his negatives or weaknesses to you. Or maybe he doesn't trust you enough yet. Some girls do like protective and possessive men as it makes them feel more loved and secure. All is well and good as long as they don't go overboard with the possessiveness.
16 He Doesn’t Mind Being Around Your Family Or Friends
Just like his friends matter to you if you are serious about your relationship with him, he will value your family and friends when he is committed. even if you are not serious or committed to the relationship, it matters how he behaves around your friends as this can reveal a lot about his trustworthiness.
When you are infatuated or drunk on love, we become blind to the person's faults. Even if they do wrong, we put on rose-tinted glasses and justify their actions. But family members and especially friends may have the ability to read him better or pick up things that you are at the moment too blind to take note of.
If your new boyfriend is trying to hide something or he is not a trustworthy character, then he wouldn't be comfortable in a crowd that has your best interest at heart. If your friends also like him, it's a good sign. When friends or family judge your partner their intention is usually to check if he is worthy of your attention and whether he would break your heart. Though there are plenty of successful relationships that have thrived despite the lack of support from friends or family, it would be good to use their opinions to gauge if your new partner is trustworthy.
15 He Replies To Your Calls/Texts Not Long After You Have Sent Them
Though this is not necessarily a trait of trustworthiness, it does reveal what a person's priorities are. If you have a partner who is frequently fiddling with his phone, texting, and calling, but you find that a reply to your message in the morning comes at night, or maybe there is no reply at all, then it's time you re-assessed his priorities and yours.
You can imagine how annoying and bothersome it is to have to wait for hours for a reply to a text message.
And when you finally get it, the person has not bothered to write a relevant reply. Maybe all you got is an emoticon or a curt, short reply.
As with every other point, there are two sides to this too. Rather than believing you are not their priority, it can just mean he is too busy. If you have been in a relationship for some time, you will have some idea of his career and lifestyle, his working hours, the time period when he is usually busier and when he has a meeting or a particularly busy day. So it is necessary to be understanding if the message is delayed. Being the nagging girlfriend demanding immediate replies to constant messages can put too much pressure on him and your relationship will be in jeopardy.
14 He Shows Affection Openly
Does your man shower you with affection in private, but is aloof in public? How does he treat you in group settings? If he treats you just like anybody else there, then he cannot be trusted.
Irrespective how many sweet nothings he whispers in your ear when you two are alone, if he ignores you or avoids you in public, you are more likely to be his mistress and one among the many he is taking for a ride. He may be able to impress upon you many stories as to why the relationship needs to be kept a secret, but chances are he is an untrustworthy person who is taking advantage of your gullible nature.
Women especially should learn to trust their gut feelings. They should listen to their intuition because such feelings usually turn out to have some truth in it. If your partner does something that seems suspicious or dishonest, don’t make excuses for him. Instead, confront him about what he did. You need to do it diplomatically and give him a chance to explain. Wrongful accusations can also result in destroying whatever trust is there in the relationship and you'll have nothing left to salvage.
13 He Doesn't Talk Badly About His Ex
Giving someone your trust in a relationship can be a very scary thing. When you allow yourself to become emotionally bonded to someone, you definitely don’t want him to break your heart. So it's good to know some things that trustworthy men never do.
A trustworthy man will not talk badly about his ex-girlfriend.
As trust builds deep and the relationship progresses, he may open up about previous issues that were hurtful to him. But that's different from simply complaining about her or any other woman he has dated.
A trustworthy man understands and accepts that it is disrespectful to do such a thing since that person isn’t there to defend themselves. This also means that you don't have to worry that they may talk about you the same way later.
Conversations about ex-partners are inevitable as a relationship progresses. Dishing out all the dirty gossip about his ex on the very first date with him is a clear indication to run fast in the other direction. But if he completely avoids discussing past relationships as you progress with the relationship, that's not a good sign either. Some men perceive sharing such details might make them too vulnerable. So we do need to strike a balance here. Old flames inevitably come up in your conversations occasionally, but if he does not shy away from the hard questions and answers honestly, he is definitely a trustworthy guy.
12 He Consults You On Important Matters
The two people involved in a relationship make a team. Just how strong a team that is, depends on how long they have been together and many other factors that happened between this duration that they have been together. However long you have been together, he should still consult you before making any decisions that will affect both of you in any way.
A trustworthy man keeps you in the loop regarding his social activities. That does not mean he is on your leash. A quick text or a phone call to let you know of his plans [when needed] is a simple courtesy. He is simply ensuring that you feel secure and need not worry about him.
On the other hand, it does not mean he's not trustworthy if he forgot to tell you he had a night out with his friend the day you were out of town. Depending on your personalities and the depth of the relationship, you both need to work out what's acceptable and what's not. If you are married or living together and your partner hasn't told you where he is going and hasn't come back though it's quite late at night, it's natural that you would be worried. So as I said, it is a simple courtesy to inform your partner of your whereabouts. You wouldn't allow a person you love, to worry unnecessarily about you.
11 He Shows Up On Time
Is he always late for anything and everything? If he is the perpetually late guy, it may not be anything personal, but a personality quirk that you will have to bear with if you intend to continue your relationship with him.
But if he doesn't have such a personality quirk and is still regularly late in meeting up with you on your dates, then this can mean he doesn’t care, or he doesn't respect you enough.
Rather than ending the relationship right away, explain to him how you feel. Give him a chance to explain and hopefully make some effort to be on time from now on.
If he is running late for a date or he took a long time to return a call/ message, ensure he tells you why at the earliest opportunity. Trustworthy men do not just show up late, say, “Hey I'm sorry, I know I'm late” and then change the subject as if no more explanations are needed. Their explanations are a way of showing that they value and respect you and your time and are genuinely sorry for making you wait. They also explain what happened as they love telling you about their day and want you to understand them better.
10 He Explains When Needed
Trustworthy men are willing to communicate whenever needed. They want you to always feel secure, so they explain as much as required.
You know how talkative, or rather not talkative your guy normally is. so if your talkative partner has a curt and short answer to why he did or didn't do something, he may be hiding something from you. If he has nothing to hide, then he doesn’t mind you peppering him with questions. Well, we're talking about Mr. Perfect here. So even if your guy didn't give you such a detailed explanation, be thankful if he gave you even a short, but valid reason.
How does he treat you when you try to talk about something serious with him? Does he brush you off, make excuses or walk away? A trustworthy man won’t run away when you try to communicate with him as he has nothing to hide. The untrustworthy men and those who have guilty consciences fear direct prying into their lives. They have probably told you many lies and they don’t want you to uncover them so they get angry or aggressive while some others simply change the topic or laugh it off.
9 He Doesn’t Make Promises He Can’t Keep
Trustworthy men will not make promises unless they’re certain they can deliver on it. Sometimes people make promises they know they can't keep, or may not be intending to keep, just to get the temporary praise and adoration at that time. Most of the time, this backfires when it becomes clear that they have not executed their promise. The smooth talker might still be able to wiggle their way out of any trouble, but for the others, the broken trust or relationship may not have meant much to them, to begin with.
Sometimes, they may not see their words as binding, a commitment or a promise. They may have vaguely mentioned something without giving it much thought.
Trustworthy men will give you a definite plan to do something at a specific time on a specific day.
They will not be vague and say, "We should meet up sometime" or" I'll give you a call soon". If they have told you they will call tonight, then they will hold themselves accountable for making that call.
Trustworthy men do not forget about their plans either. They take the necessary steps such as setting an alarm or even leaving giant post-it notes around their place if they have to. A trustworthy man cannot bear the thought of disappointing his loved ones. However, everyone does make mistakes and no one is perfect, so if he happens to break his word due to unavoidable circumstances, be prepared to forgive and be understanding.
8 He Doesn’t Reschedule Constantly
If a new guy you have been dating reschedules a meet up once, it's fine. But if he does this frequently when you’ve barely started dating, then be warned as he is easily distracted by other things and considers them more exciting than being with you. It also means he makes promises he can’t keep.
Maybe you've been dating for a while and he has been planning a special night for an entire week. Then the night before he tells you something else has come up or worse he stands you up. If he blows you off without giving you valid reasons, he has proven himself to be unreliable and not worth your trust. It is also possible that his excuses are just lies. Trustworthy people do not act shady and they definitely do not cancel plans at the last minute unless something really serious has come up. If so then they immediately notify you and will explain their reasons while reassuring you.
Trustworthy men usually confirm plans if they were made ahead of time. If you planned for a dinner date for the weekend days in advance, you probably get a call or message to remind and confirm that the plan is still on. They do not leave you wondering if they have forgotten about it.
7 He Is Consistent
Impulsive and adventurous behavior is fun when you are teenagers, but that's not what you expect from a trustworthy partner. Consistent and positive behaviors are what make a woman trust her man. Affirmative actions and smart decisions help win her trust more easily.
You should always keep an eye out for inconsistencies. The truth will always come out, even if it takes years. You often hear of people who have been in a relationship for years, breaking up when they discover something their partner had been hiding from them. Have you noticed any inconsistencies in the stories your partner told you? Maybe you have been wanting to confront him about the deceptions, but you never had the courage to do it. You may have doubts that perhaps it is all in your mind and you may end up losing them if you question them.
Trustworthy men know who they are and what they want. They have steadfast goals.
They don't keep jumping from career to career or chase different dreams each season. This does not mean they are bad or dishonest people. But people with a lack of clarity about what they want or where they are heading are not exactly reliable partners to build a life together. This is the reason why the majority of high school romances fail. The divorce rates among those who marry young are quite high as many of them are still learning to be mature and what it means to be trustworthy.
6 A Trustworthy Man Is A Dependable Man
If your partner has said he will do something or he will be by your side while you face an ordeal, he has to mean it and follow through. You surely will not want to spend your life worrying if your man is going to do what he says he will do. A trustworthy man means what he says and he says what he means.
Reliability and honesty go hand in hand. Do you want to spend your life worrying about if your man is going to do what he says he will do? Do you always want to wonder how much you can truly depend on him? Definitely not.
If you feel he is lying to you over and over again, pay attention to the finer details. Even those most “skilled” at deception sometimes overlook one or two inconsistencies in their stories. It is after all very hard to keep track of a lie, especially the more complex ones.
There are those who lie deliberately to hide the truth and the ones who tell you the white lies wherein they leave out bits of incriminating information. When and if you confront them about it, they put the blame back on you for not asking more about it. This means he is not only untrustworthy, but also disrespectful.
5 He Opens Up To You
Strong relationships are built by standing together and being there for each other, especially during the more difficult periods in life. a trustworthy partner will open up to you and tell you how he’s feeling when he’s upset, concerned or scared.
It is definitely not easy for guys to open up about their feeling, so that also depends on the depth or strength of your relationship. You may need to encourage him to talk about what's bothering him if you are able to sense something is not right. Under no circumstances, should you make him feel bad about revealing his feelings because he’ll never do it again! And more importantly, you'll have lost his trust.
Don't expect a guy to open up in the first few days, but if he is avoiding some topics completely, then you need to consider that a warning sign.
There may be some things a person is not ready to share yet, but a trustworthy person will provide at least a brief explanation as to why they don’t want to talk about it. You can’t really trust a person who is uncomfortable with communicating their own feelings. If you can’t trust him or know what he is feeling, you won’t feel safe or loved with him.
4 He Is Not Defensive When Teased
It is the insecure people who cannot handle being teased. If he is freaked out or goes ballistic and defensive when made fun of, it also means he cannot control his emotions and temper. Such people are not trustworthy as their insecurities will always come above everything else.
A guy who seems to have everything in control is able to stay calm and collected. His security may come from the fact that he’s got nothing to hide. An insecure and paranoid man will turn on you and accuse you when he gets riled up. Even a casual joke can set him off and your relationship will be fraught with tension. Definitely not worth it!
If he’s always edgy or distracted when you’re together, his mind is somewhere else. Maybe he's cheating on someone else by being with you. If a guy is honestly into you, then he’ll be relaxed, not fidgety, and will listen to whatever you have to say with total interest. If he can let his guard down around you, it means he is a confident person. He is willing to let you in and get to know him without any secrets. This a sign of maturity. this means he is not only trustworthy, it is also a sign that he’s trying to establish mutual trust.
3 He Trusts You And Is Honest With You
If you have been in the relationship for some time, you should be able to gauge if he trusts you or not. If he’s always accusing you of being up to something, it might be because he is. Trying to turn the tables back on you is a classic move of untrustworthy people.
A person's eyes can reveal emotional information. Can he look you in the eye when he talks to you? Avoiding eye contact or not being able to look you in the eye is often indicative of a shady personality. If he doesn’t have anything to hide. he should have no trouble maintaining eye contact while talking to you.
It's far easier to tell people the lies they want to hear and remain in their good books than to stand up and oppose the ones you love when you genuinely disagree with them.
A trustworthy person is honest with you even when you don't want to hear the truth.
If a man is willing and bold enough to tell you when he doesn't agree with you then you know you can trust him to tell the truth. If he has the ability to be honest and speak up when he doesn’t like something you did, in a diplomatic way, you’re dating a real keeper. It matters how he gets across his disagreements, it should be tactful, not hurtful.
2 He Has Integrity
A trustworthy man stands up for what is right in life, even when no one is watching. They don't gossip or share private information about other people. He doesn't regale you with the stories or juicy details of the money problems his friends confided in him or the affair his best friend's wife is having. No one wants strangers to know all about their dirty laundry.
Let's say you go out on a first date with this cute guy, but then when you are halfway through your drinks, he winks at you and pretends to pull a hair from his drinks or food, makes a scene and then gets away with not having to pay the bill. On top of it all, he expects you to be impressed by how smart and funny he is! Trustworthy men don’t pull such cheap stunts or pretend their food was bad to get something free at a restaurant. These guys brush off such incidents, even if it's true.
Do you think its ok to let your partner get away with lies about little the things? A man who lies about simple or foolish details won’t hesitate to lie to you about the more important things in life. Unnecessary white lies are the signs of a pathological liar. So before brushing them off as “little” lies, think seriously if you want to be in such a relationship because big lies are sure to follow the little ones.
1 He Doesn’t Pretend to Like People He Doesn’t Actually Like
Trustworthy people won’t make a big show of pretending to be overjoyed to see somebody they secretly despise. They will be as polite and as diplomatic, as needed. They don't change their personality around different people.
Trustworthy people remain the same person, irrespective of who they are around.
They don’t act more pompous around coworkers to “impress” them. They don't change their colors to become more gossipy around gossipers.
Trustworthy men do not belittle others. They speak to everyone like they are their equal. If it's a new relationship and the person is trustworthy then you'll experience a gradual increase in how comfortable you feel around him. If he is not trustworthy, you will be left with a growing sense of unease and mistrust. The longer that you remain in a relationship, the more your level of comfort or unease around him, the more you know whether he is worth your trust and love.
The more bonded you become to the man in your life, the more it is going to hurt if you end up with a broken heart. So it is critical that you are able to figure out early on whether the person is trustworthy or not. Get your friends’ opinions, pick up his phone and see if he freaks out, check if he looks you in the eye or just simply trust yourself and go with what your gut is telling you.
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