When a guy loses interest in us, it can feel like a huge, crushing blow. All of a sudden, we realize that the relationship probably isn't going to work out and that something about us just isn't keeping the guy we're with interested. It can be a blow to your self-confidence, and it can cause you to doubt everything you ever thought about relationships and guys. But the craziest thing about this is that sometimes, we don't even know when guys have lost interest. Most guys, like all people, are pretty good at hiding their true emotions, and you might end up being totally surprised when you realize a guy just doesn't feel that enthusiastic about the relationship...
That's why we've enlisted the help of some guys on Reddit to shed some light onto how guys really act when they've lost interest in a girl. Every guy is different, but all of these Reddit confessions help paint a picture of what most guys act like when they realize they're just not that into the girl they're with. Some guys give girls the silent treatment, others might confront them directly. Still, others might do things that are totally strange and unexpected... So pay attention closely, because some of these signs might just ring a bell...
21 He Just Told Her Straight Up
One guy reveals some pretty poignant information with regards to how he shows that he's not interested. And not many people could misinterpret this: He just tells her straight up.
The guy on Reddit revealed:
"Texted her, and she said that from her part, we are just friends. so I can chill now..."
"..Sometimes just being straight up honest and having the guts to clear things up can be the best solution. I'm glad I did it, and I hope that in the future I can do this more easily."
Honesty is always a good approach, and this guy definitely has the idea by just communicating his feelings (or lack of feelings) to his girlfriend.
20 The Silent Approach
Of course, there are those that go the exact opposite route as the guy above, and these guys tend to just get silent. As time goes on, it becomes more and more clear that the guy is no longer interested.
This particular guy on Reddit explained:
"It completely depends on how long you've been 'seeing her' and under what circumstances..."
"...If it was just hanging out a couple of times as friends and you two don't speak 24/7 you might get away with the silent approach."
Hey, each guy is different, and each one has their own way of showing that they're no longer interested. However, one does have to wonder whether such an approach is really the smartest option...
19 He Confronted Her About It
Here's another guy who seems to go the direct route when it comes to showing that he's no longer interested, and he prefers to confront his girlfriend about it head-on. It's a method that is probably very healthy and helpful to everyone...
Another guy on Reddit answered:
"No matter how long you've been seeing her you'll save yourself a lot of trouble down the line by confronting it [head-on]..."
"...Tell her that you've enjoyed spending time with her but you feel as though you cant see things progressing further than where they are now. Or something along those lines.."
18 He Cancels Their Dates
Sometimes, guys show that they're no longer interested by simply not showing up to dates. It's that obvious. As we all know, most guys aren't exactly subtle, and this is one of the easiest ways to tell a guy isn't interested!
Another guy on Reddit answered:
"Depends on the context. Since you're part of the same social circle, IIRC, that's less graceful than just talking to her less over time and not actively seeking her out anymore..."
"...If there was a followup date planned then you should definitely cancel that rather than stand her up."
But he says that rather of standing her up, he calls ahead and cancels the date instead.
17 He Stops Initiating Conversations
This guy definitely takes the high road by not "ghosting" girls, like so many others do. But what he does is actually a variation of ghosting — he basically stops initiating all conversations.
This guy on Reddit explained:
"If we had just a date or two, I won't ghost out on her like most women would do to us..."
"...I would just stop contacting her and [would stop] initiating conversations. If she got the picture from there she wouldn't contact me either. If she didn't and asked to hang again, I would just be upfront and honest."
It's a method that is halfway between the silent treatment and confronting the girl head on...
16 He Just Gets Distant
This is something that we've all seen before. One of the most common signs that a guy is no longer interested is that he gets distant, and that's one thing that this guy points out really well.
He stated on Reddit:
"It may not always be a sign, but distance is generally a [tell-tale] sign IMHO [in my humble oppinion]..."
"...In my life I've been "distant" and it's exactly because I was disinterested but staying around for physical intimacy. Distance is perhaps the greatest sign of disinterest in my book."
It's definitely something that resonates strongly with a lot of us, and a sign that is easy to spot for most people.
15 He Stops Wanting To Spend Time With Her Family
There are actually quite a few things that this guy lists, based on his own personal experience.
And these are actually really interesting signs that many of us would never have considered. Another guy on Reddit revealed:
"From my own experience of becoming disinterested in a [long-term] partner: Not wanting to spend time with my SO's family/have them spend time with my family..."
"...Not doing thoughtful/romantic things that I used to; Turning up late to see them; Not discussing long-term plans; Getting into fights as an excuse to leave and go back to my place."
It's clear that he's thought a lot about this, and he's probably experienced these signs firsthand.
14 He Doesn't Want Her — But He Doesn't Want Other Guys To Have Her Either
One guy revealed that one final thing that he starts to do when he loses interest, and it should be a huge wake-up call for all those who are in a relationship with someone like this.
Another guy on Reddit admitted:
"The final thing is when I don't want to even spend any time with that person, but I get the complex where I don't want her but I don't want anyone else to have her..."
"...It's unhealthy, painfully selfish, and a horrible progression of events that I hope I can actually understand should they begin to play out the same way in the future."
13 He Starts Getting Lazy
We all know that once you start getting lazy, the relationship goes downhill. You need to put a lot of effort into a relationship, and once you start working less hard at it, it really starts to show. This is a huge sign of lost interest, as one guy reveals. This particular guy on Reddit revealed:
"For me it became laziness. I stopped doing the little special things..."
"...I stopped caring about making them feel special because I didn't feel special or the relationship didn't have meaning anymore. A sign to me that I'm still into it: I'm generally excited to see that person when I've been away from them."
12 He Thinks That If He Stops Texting, It's The Best Way
Here's another guy who spoke out about the biggest sign that he's losing interest, and in his point of view, it's perfectly fine to stop initiating text convos until she gets the message. This guy on Reddit reveals his own take on the subject:
"It's fine to not initiate any texting or communication..."
"...If she doesn't initiate anything then great, neither of you likes the other much and it ends gracefully. If she communicates with you, then tell her straight up that you're no longer interested. The important thing is that when you do talk or text with her that you don't be fake about how you feel."
11 Taking Her For Granted
Taking someone for granted is a huge sign that things are really going to fail soon, and this usually stems from a huge loss of interest. As one guy admits, he starts getting way too comfortable in his relationship and forgets to do the little things for his girl. He's basically saying that he starts to take her for granted when he loses interest in her, and this is something we all need to look out for.
This guy went on Reddit and said when he loses interest, he starts
"Getting too comfortable and forgetting to date his woman..."
"...Those are just off the top of my head. Honestly, I'm just getting this from how I treated my last SO, unfortunately."
10 He Stops Getting Excited To See Her
Have you ever been with that person who seems like they're way less excited to see you than they once were? This is something many of us have gone through, and in the words of this guy, it's one of the main signs a guy will show when he loses interest. It seems like a no-brainer, but a lot of women just don't see it — even when it's right before their eyes. He went on Reddit and revealed:
"I just show lack of interest. I don't initiate conversation and I won't be excited to see you. But that's just me."
Sometimes, we just don't want to accept that the spark is gone from the relationship...
9 He Won't Reply To Texts As Fast
This guy was very honest when he revealed what he does when he's no longer interested. And a lot of girls' worst fears are about to be confirmed — yes, he says that he starts replying to texts a lot slower than usual. He revealed on Reddit:
"I typically won't respond to text or phone calls as quickly as I used to..."
"...I typically will make up excuses as to why or text them early to say going to bed when I just don't want them to bother me the rest of the night. I start to break off dates as well. I'm kind of a [rascal] though. But the one thing I would say for most guys communicating less is when you can tell."
8 Respect Goes Out The Window
One thing that hasn't been mentioned so far is something that is extremely important to relationships — respect. And as this guy points out, once that goes away, you can be sure the guy is no longer interested. He knows because that's exactly how he acts after he loses interest...
This particular guy on Reddit revealed:
"Respect goes away. You quit giving a damn about the little things that you know annoy the other person..."
"...You're not trying to annoy them, you just don't give a damn anymore whether you do or not." It's one of those things that is sad but true, and we need to accept when a guy is not interested anymore...
7 His Texts Stop Getting Flirty
We all know that relationships can flop if the guy's texting game isn't on point. Everyone likes a little bit of flirting over text, even if it's something super innocent like an emoji here and there. But when that stops happening, one guy says that he's probably lost interest.
One guy detailed his take on the subject, and said on Reddit that when a guy loses interest, there is:
"The same amount of texting, but more 'polite' type texts (and pretty much no emojis) instead of flirty to borderline flirty ones (with perhaps at least some emojis sprinkled in there)..."
"...Even if he is generally replying quickly to your texts, don't make the mistake of assuming that it means anything. Basically, look at the 'context' of her texts."
6 He Starts Being Boring On Purpose
No one likes a boring boyfriend. If a guy making the effort to entertain us, then what's the point? Well, some guys seem to be aware of this, and will actually be boring on purpose when they've lost interest in the relationship, in the hopes that you'll get the picture. Or at least that's what one guy claims. He went on Reddit and said:
"If you smile at me and I keep making the same face I was making before, or If I give boring answers to your questions intentionally."
It might seem a little bit harsh, but it's probably better than beating around the bush... Right?
5 He Starts Avoiding You
If a guy is literally running away from you and pretending not to hear when you call his name, then it's a pretty safe bet that he's no longer interested.
But just in case that wasn't painfully obvious, one guy took to Reddit to lay it all out...
He went on Reddit and stated:
"I've recently pretended to not hear my name being called, turned the corner, then literally ran away and hid and left the building at a later time in order to avoid speaking with someone. So, that?"
We can't believe that he actually did this, but still, it's probably better than sending mixed signals...
4 Don't Mistake It For "Playing Hard To Get"
A lot of women think that when men are acting like they've lost interest, they're actually playing hard to get. But one guy went on Reddit to point out the fact that this usually isn't the case, and that most of the time, men really have lost interest when they stop caring as much.
He stated on Reddit:
"On the actual question. Men don't play hard to get. If you think we are, then we just aren't interested..."
"...I think, in general, men don't really give signals. Our brains aren't wired that way. We're not really subtle enough to give signals even if we wanted to."
3 Not Reciprocating
When you compliment a guy or touch him lightly, you expect him to reciprocate and return the favor, right? Any sane girl would. But when a guy stops doing things back to you, you can be pretty sure that he's no longer interested.
Or at least, that's what one guy thinks...
He stated on Reddit: "It's difficult to say for all men because all men are different..."
"...For myself, if you are touching, complimenting, and dropping obvious innuendos at me and I'm not reciprocating any of those, I'm not interested."
This is a pretty clear message sent by this guy, and it would take someone truly blind to see that he's no longer interested.
2 He Doesn't Let You Get Close
Getting close to a guy physically is something that most girlfriends do. After all, how can you hug him or touch him if you're further than two feet away, right? But as this guy points out, if you feel like a guy is trying to get out of your space whenever you try to get close to him, he's probably lost interest...
Another guy on Reddit revealed:
"If you get close (within 2 feet) and I try to increase the distance separating us is usually a solid indication any guy is not interested..."
"...Any man loves it when a cute girl moved in close, we(men and women) often use many excuses to touch you, or be touched by you. If we shy away it's a bad sign."
1 If You Feel Like You're Always Trying To Get Him To Notice You...
Last but not least, one guy on Reddit definitely points out one of the strongest signs that a guy is not interested, and this is something that a guy doesn't even do. This time, it's something that you do, and you have to really ask yourself if you're one of these girls.
As he stated on Reddit:
"We don't pursue what we're not interested in. If you feel like you're always trying to get him to notice you, odds are he isn't interested."
So, do you think you're one of those girls constantly trying to get his attention? Because if so, he's probably lost interest.