Pick-up lines are a joke and most of them are meant to break the ice, rather than actually get a woman to start liking a guy. They can be funny, dramatic, embarrassing or even completely honest, but it doesn't really matter since there are only so many that actually stand out from the crowd. Because there are so many types of pick-up lines, men have had to adapt over the years. We've all heard the "Are you okay? It must have hurt falling from Heaven" line and, of course, we're all familiar with variations of "Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes," so what kind of shiver-inducing lines are women receiving nowadays? To find out, we should turn our sights to Reddit, where people of every walk of life come together to open up and share the weird, funny, frightening and even dangerous true stories for the sake of entertaining others! Although these Reddit users claim these to all be true stories, most times, we should take them with a grain of salt.
What are some of the worst ways men have tried to pick-up women lately? If you think they got more inventive than a few corny pick-up lines, then you'd be wrong! Sticking to tradition, here are twenty examples of men trying their best, according to the women of Reddit.
*Please Note: Entries have been edited for length and clarity.*
"Got this one on Tinder... 'Are you my appendix? I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.'"
Guys don't always have to flirt face-to-face and they definitely don't need to worry about what they say on sites like Tinder, but a good one-liner is sure to catch a girl's attention and this is definitely one of those pick-up lines that at least earns a guy a decent smile.
When you're trying to find love, or even just a little fun here and there, sites like Tinder are perfect. You can learn all you need to know in an instant and can decide whether you want to get to know someone more or not. This guy sent a silly message letting her know that he doesn't really know anything about her, but a date could fix all that. Yes, the line is all kinds of cheesy, and no, it didn't work with Elizabeth_Balfour, but this guy should keep his chin up because somewhere out there is a woman who will respond with a sense of humor of her own! Will she be on Tinder? Probably. He's just got to keep looking!
"Da[ng] baby you’re one light switch away from lookin' pretty."
What. The. Heck!? Okay, so maybe this guy was trying to get a laugh out of her or maybe she approached him and he turned the tables in one of the meanest ways possible. Without anything else to go by, it's tough to know what happened here, but what we do know is that some guy decided it was funnier (probably to his friends who were likely present) to tear her down than it was to simply say he wasn't interested. It is usually the woman saying she isn't looking for anything serious, that she has a man, or that she's just trying to have a good time with her friends, so when a man turns a woman down, it's kind of an unusual situation.
Of course, women aren't always super nice when they let men down either, but those women don't really get great guys because she doesn't even know how to respect a stranger, so how can she respect someone she's already comfortable with? The same goes for this guy. UTSA_ENT18 deserves better than him! She should count herself lucky for discovering what kind of guy he was before things got serious!
18 What? Eww!
"Did you just fart? Cos you blew me away."
In what universe is a line like this going to work? It should come as no surprise that a fart joke wasn't enough to earn a woman's phone number, let alone even a minute of her time! This is the kind of line a man can comfortably use with a woman who is already friends with him - and the closer the better. To a complete stranger, a line like this tells women that a man probably has a lot of toilet humor and isn't mature enough for her. Guys, is that really how you want to portray yourselves?
While the line is funny, what isn't funny is how she reacts. Whenever a woman cringes or makes a "ewww, gross!" kind of face (you know, where she crinkles her nose and unconsciously moves away from you, even if she just leans back), you need to dial it down. You want a woman to laugh, smile, or appear interested in you somehow, not repulsed by you! For the guys who insist not all women are the same, that's very much true, but first impressions are also really important and it's usually best not to start off on the wrong foot.
17 It's So Lame It Might Work
"Girl, your father must be Homer because that tail is epic."
This line is probably going to be confusing to any girl who wasn't paying attention in her high school English classes, but for the rest of us, it's a fun play on words. While those unfamiliar with "The Iliad" or "The Odssey" may be thinking of Homer Simpson, others will consider that both stories are epic tales told in lyric, or poetic, fashion. Therefore, a man calling someone's "tail" "epic" and referencing the famous writer Homer, he is attempting to show off his smarts to a woman he is hoping is equally, if not more, intelligent and well-read than himself.
If you think that sounds super nerdy, you're absolutely right.
Most one-liners are meant to be immediately understood and appreciated, but there are far too many Homer Simpson references for people these days to catch on quickly to this dud of a line. Unless a high school kid is using this line on a classmate, odds are it's going to flop. Sorry guys! If you want to find intellectual women, maybe you should turn to one of the various online dating sites, or try meeting women at book clubs instead of nightclubs.
16 Awww! So Sad But Funny At The Same Time!
"Can I disappoint you tonight?"
A great line with plenty to fall back on! While it may not have worked this time, this guy just might be on to something great! At best, he'll win a smile from his (hopefully one day) lady and his little joke just might lead to further conversation, which then leads to a great night, etc., etc. The worst case scenario, of course, would be if he actually really did disappoint her that night, whether it comes in the form of his company or otherwise, but at least if that happens, he can always look back and say, "I told you so." He let her know beforehand that he was going to be a disappointment, and he didn't lie!
Okay, but seriously, lines like these tend to come from younger guys who are either great at self-depreciating jokes or who are genuinely nervous to talk to a beautiful woman. He may have mustered up the courage to approach her, but when she gave him his full attention, he balked and sputtered out one of the cheesiest lines a guy could ever use. Is it really that much of a surprise that it didn't work? Not really.
15 At Least It'll Get A Laugh
"Would you like to donate to charity? Great, it’s a date then!"
It's so super cute that this guy tried! With a line like that, a woman is bound to laugh - or she's just going to assume the poor guy is legitimately broke and is wanting her to treat him to a decent meal. As unlikely as it sounds, sometimes a pick-up line isn't really intended to create an excuse for a man to ask a woman out on a date, it's more of a legitimate request for free food.
Since CaramelTurtles decided to share this little line, it's pretty safe to assume that his self-depreciating joke (or for real question?) didn't take him very far. What probably happened is, he pulled the line at the wrong moment. Guys, timing is everything! If she's in the middle of a work lunch, you can't just catch her while she's on her way to the ladies room, you need to approach women who might be open to speaking to you. If she's dressed to party and she's having a great time alone, she's open to you talking her up. If she's in a just-from-work outfit with a friend and they seem to be having an intense conversation, leave her alone!
14 So, So Lame!
"Girl, if they named a fruit after you, they'd have to call it a FINE-apple. Or...one my daughter heard a few nights ago....'Is there a science lab close by or am I just sensing the chemistry between us...?'"
Let's be fair - both of these lines are just sappy enough to work. They don't really make women cringe, but they also don't sound that clever, so it's got the balance down. What these lines don't have are any examples of when they actually work. What woman wants to have a random guy approach her to say there's chemistry there? They've never even spoken to each other! And when it comes to talking about fruits and word plays, well, it just isn't very impressive. Guys, if you want a girl to like you from the first moment, put a little more thought into your pick-up line! You know what? It doesn't even have to be a quick one-liner, it's okay to skip the silly (and often generic) stuff, just go straight to, "Hi, my name is X. I just wanted to come introduce myself. What's your name?" Is it witty? Nah. Does it give her the gist of what you're trying to do? Yes! Will she be more likely to respond to an honest effort? Probably.
"Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can: 4/10."
Okay, whoa. That was super uncalled for! Usually, people use pick-up lines to, you know, PICK SOMEONE UP, not push them down! If a guy isn't interested, he can just say so, he doesn't have to try to be clever and make a big deal of turning someone down! Why he would say this is beyond us. He probably thought he was being cool and would look like he's super smart for coming up with the line, but really all he's doing is making himself look like a jerk.
We're going to let you all in on a little secret here: WOMEN DON'T LIKE JERKS! She may have been really nice and might have even been the better half of a future relationship, but because he wasn't feeling it, he decided to attack her! We don't know if she went up to him or if he just randomly approached her, but even if he came up to her, why would he lead with this? To get a few laughs? Nope. You can't just joke like that with a stranger. They'll be immediately offended, and rightly so. This is not cool man, not cool.
12 Well, Okay Then!
"'Were you talking to me?' 'No' 'Well, please start!'"
Okay, so this guy is thinking he's smooth and he's probably got the body language right, but does he give off a "talk to me because I'm a great guy" kind of feel to him, or is it more like, "I'm super desperate for some attention from a woman, please talk to me" kind of feel? If this person is posting it to Reddit as a pick-up fail, then odds are this guy was in way over his head before he even started trying to talk her up.
Maybe his tone came off as creepy, or maybe he was staring at her cleavage (always a huge no-no, guys). More likely than not, he probably interrupted during a time where the line didn't quite make sense. However he messed up, mess up he did, resulting in a lame line that didn't work with a woman he was hoping to get to know. Learn from this experience, ladies and gentlemen! When you're trying to pick someone up, give it a little extra thought beforehand and really consider whether the other person will be open to your interruption or if you'll just fall flat on your face.
11 That Wasn't Too Bad!
"How much does a polar bear weigh? [J]ust enough to break the ice."
Imagine talking to your girlfriends around a table with some refreshing drinks. You've had a tough day and suddenly there's a light tap on your shoulder. You turn around and there's a pretty decent looking guy leaning toward you, asking, "How much does a polar bear weigh?" Surprised by the unexpected question from the interrupting man, your mind goes blank, so he answers himself with, "Just enough to break the ice." His face breaks out into a grin and you can see that he's hoping you'll also find him entertaining - but you don't. You're trying to hang out with your friends and the line, while slightly charming, isn't enough for you to crack a smile.
Sorry guys, sometimes even the best pick-up lines fall flat if a woman just isn't in the mood to listen to you! Bringing up the need for an icebreaker is a great idea, but if she's not feeling it, then better luck next time. For lines like these to actually work on a woman, try making sure she's already having a good time and isn't involved in a conversation with other people.
"Are you free tonight? Because I haven't got any money."
Okay, so the more conservative women won't appreciate what this guy is insinuating, but the rest will love it! It's humorous and just bad enough to make a woman laugh and ask him to either go away or ask what his name is. This pick-up line is right up there with comedian Rodney Dangerfield's joke with a teacher - when he asks her to give him a call when she "doesn't have any class." Obviously, this guy wasn't being literal with the girl he was trying to get to know, he was just joking with her. He made himself sound poor and he made her sound priceless, even if it was hidden beneath a funnier coating. Guaranteed he earned a laugh and a genuine smile from the girl. Too bad the line wasn't enough to get him the date!
With a little more practice and a lot more women, statistically, this line has got to work on someone at some point - right? Well, even if it doesn't, it still makes for a funny pick-up line story for the internet to enjoy! Maybe one day we'll get to hear about the one time it works.
9 At Least It's Kinda Cute
"Girls like bad boys, well I'm bad at everything *proceeds to attempt to wink and blink instead.*"
Okay, so a guy who is willing to approach a woman armed with nothing more than a little humor and a lot of guys isn't someone to look down on. He has the funny factor down pat and he went above and beyond to include a mini-skit where he pretends to wink and blinks instead. Not only does this generate a real laugh from a woman, but it also piques her interest. She's thinking he's silly and brave, probably very confident and might be worth getting to know.
This guy may not have gotten the date he was hoping for, but he did hold her attention, even if it was only for a moment. The potential was there, it just didn't happen to work with this woman. Hopefully, he doesn't toss it out! If he's smart, he'll use this line to help make a more receptive woman laugh and maybe even give him her phone number! After all, there is very little in this world more genuine than a man who is willing to make a fool of himself for the sake of a woman's attention.
"[T]his came from a completely random dude, who was already in the bus station when I arrived 'Girl, I swear on my mum, I'm gonna marry you and we'll have lots of beautiful children.'"
What the heck did that random guy just say? Well, guess that poor girl can't ride the bus anymore! Not only was his line super silly, but it also implied quite a bit. While it might be flattering to hear something like this, it's usually not very well received - especially when a girl is just trying to get to school, work or around town in general. She's obviously got her mind on other things, so why would she be open to getting hit on while she's just trying to go about her day?
Let's not get crazy, okay guys? There's an appropriate time and place for everything, and the bus stop isn't the right place to pick-up a nice girl. If you really want to talk to someone who might respond with more than an eye roll or chuckle, go to a club, bar, party or another scene where people are usually on the hunt for their next relationship. Don't be the creeper at the corner bus stop.
7 No One Likes Jar-Jar Anyway
"Misa thinks yousa pitty hot."
When "Star Wars" released episodes I, II and III, people around the world were upset at Jar Jar Binks' character. The way he spoke grated and his clumsiness made his character seem too childish to be respectable, which ultimately led to him being the most hated character of the series. Thankfully, Lucas Films toned Jar Jar way down in later films, but the damage was already done.
Now, thinking back to all the fans who hated Jar Jar's character, why would any woman appreciate being spoken to as if Jar Jar was in the room? Instead of a laugh, the poor guy was definitely met with a cringe by the girl - and anyone else within hearing distance. Guaranteed he had to walk away with his head down after trying to lay that horrible line on her! Guys, don't overthink it! If you want to make a good impression, all you have to do is Google something witty, charming or funny. If you're a bit of an oddball, don't show her right off the bad! First impressions are really important! Put at least a little bit of effort into your line before you try to pick-up a girl!
6 Oy Vey
"Is that your real hair? Or a wig?" Proceeds to tug on my hair (it was real). I was speechless."
Okay guys, rule number one: NEVER physically touch a woman who doesn't know you. She'll immediately hate you for it and she may even get you thrown out for touching her without her consent. Just don't do it! Rule number two: No one is going to appreciate you asking them if part of their body is fake. This is a universally rude thing to do! Why would anyone do this!?
This poor girl was just minding her own business when some guy decides it's okay to walk up to her, question the authenticity of her look, then unashamedly attempt to tug on her hair! If she was in California, she definitely would have sued, and if she was from Texas, he would have ended up with a shiner on the side of his fat head! Men, most of you already know this, but since there are obviously some of you who still don't get it, let us put this as simple as possible for you:
When you're trying to hit on a woman, don't you dare touch her and definitely don't embarrass her! Hopefully, this guy was smart enough to apologize afterward!
5 Don't Even Start
"Hey girl, are you a vegan? Because you don't really seem like a 'Miss Steak' to me."
*Cue the collective facepalm🤦*
Is the line super cheesy? Yup
Is there a pun involved? Yup
Is this guy going to get a date out of it? It just might happen!
Cumulatively, this means we've got a pretty great pick-up line on our hands! PM_ME_DRUMSETS is definitely on a different level than other guys! He knows he's got to win his lady over with humor and he's got to keep it clean so she doesn't think he's just another loser trying to creep on her! This pick-up line serves as a great icebreaker to help make a woman feel relaxed and just might bring a smile to her face as well. If the guy kept up the charm, he could potentially land a real date with a woman who just might be able to handle his particular brand of humor. Who knows? Maybe she's got a sense of humor to match!
While we'll never know whether he got the date, the one thing we can be sure of is that other men will learn from this example and will likely be wooing women with a safe, but super cheesy pick-up line!
4 Now That's A Good Line!
"I like my women how I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."
Unlike many of the other stories here, this pick-up line is more of a "put-down line." Rather than the man attempting to approach the woman, it would seem the woman in this situation approached the man! While most of the male population would have given her all the time in the world, this one made his lifestyle crystal clear for her. Was it the nicest way he could have done so? Probably not, but depending on his tone, facial expression, and body language, it's entirely possible he got the message across without shaming or embarrassing his lady pursuer.
Like most pick-up lines, this put-down line is witty, just a touch corny and is just bad enough to be good. Kudos to whoever this guy is, he's truly a king among men! If you think this is a great way to stop unwanted attention, you'd be right! You'd also better believe women are taking notes! The next time you hear a woman say, "I like my men how I like my coffee. I don't like coffee," you'll know that she got the line from Tockelford!
"A woman friend tells this one: She was visiting her small hometown and a local guy in a bar said "I work at the cemetery. I probably mow your grandma!"
Sometimes one-liners are so cringe-worthy that they stick in a woman's mind forever. This is definitely one of them. The guy was probably trying to be funny and might have wanted to lighten the mood, but joking about a dead loved one probably isn't the best way to go about making friends. If he was a little inebriated, then we might be able to give him a little leeway, but not very much.
Even if the line prompted a laugh, it isn't going to go beyond that. She's only visiting her small hometown and she is likely surrounded by old friends and family members who really missed her while she was away. There's no way she'd stop hanging out with these people to see where the local cemetery gardener might take things. At best, she chuckled and responded with something witty that simultaneously let him know she would not, in any way, be spending any more time with him. Sorry guys, yet another epic failure of a pick-up line!
2 That's What Happens When He Gets Advice From Reddit
"I was on a date with a guy from tinder, and we ended up walking through a park. We sat down by a river and were talking when he held out his hand, balled up, as if something was inside it..."
"He told me to guess what’s in his hand. I told him that I didn’t want to guess, so he gave me a hint - 'it’s sweet.' At this point I was really concerned he was going to say it was a kiss, and I did not want that, but he kept insisting I guess, so I said, 'it’s not a kiss is it?' And he said, 'no, hold out your hand.' I was super nervous about what he was going to do, but he ended up just grabbing my hand and using that as his way to hold my hand for the rest of the date. It was honestly so awkward, and I’m not into that type of thing at all, so I just did not receive it well. He then told me he got that idea from Reddit, so thanks for that guys."
Way to fail! Guys, if you're looking for a way to make a girl cringe, definitely take dating advice from Reddit!
1 Why Do You Need To Know?
"Did you come alone, or did you bring all your friends?"
Whoa! Super creepy and awkward! Why would a man ask a woman whether she's alone or not? Is he wanting to check out her friends too before deciding to hit on her or is he just wanting to see if she's got backup in the event that a creep tries to pick her up? Could there be yet another ulterior motive? Does he have a room with all his friends just waiting for him to return with a group of women so they can party? Is he low-key asking her if she's independent and willing to go out alone or if she's got to stick with her posse?
Whatever his motives are, they don't sound good. Any woman would be put off by this ludicrous question and would immediately raise her walls against him. It doesn't matter what he said after that line, he's already lost her interest and might have even made her more conscious of him in the worst way. She could potentially ask the bouncer to kick him out of the club, just so other women won't get hassled by him! Listen, guys, the bottom line is if you want to make an impression with a pretty girl, try to make sure it's a good one.