In many ways, dating in this high-tech modern age is easier than ever. There are numerous dating sites and apps that have long or short profiles to fill out and filters to narrow down our search results. In theory, this helps avoid wasting our time on the wrong type. With pictures, we can actually see who we are potentially dating before we ever meet in real life. If we don’t like his looks or his profile, we can just swipe left or hit delete and call it a day.
While all this is pretty good and it does make dating easier for many people, others have found a way to play the system and thwart the good intentions behind it. These people are the ones who give online dating a bad name and make the rest of us wary of encountering one of them in our searches. On top of that, it can be very hard to tell the difference between a genuine guy and an egomaniac or a married guy. There are some tips and tricks available online, and if we ask around, others in our position have developed their own strategy for weeding out the time-wasters.
20 Is He Too Shiny And Perfect?
For most dating sites, we have to fill out a profile of some sort. Even on the shorter varieties, there is still room for self-expression. One of the key things to look for is a polished profile.
If he uses correct spelling and grammar, clearly describes himself and what he wants, and the whole thing has a nice clean look to it, then the odds are good that he is a good guy.
According to The List, “While every dating app is different in terms of how many characters one can use to answer a prompt or provide information, even the most stringent of character limits still allow for complete, polished responses.”
19 That Profile Picture, Though
One of the first impressions we have of someone we want to potentially date is their profile picture. Everyone knows the old saying of a picture’s worth, and if his profile picture can be described with fewer than a hundred words, he probably isn’t worth it. On top of that, if he isn’t wearing any clothes, that is definitely not relationship material. As The List says, “If you've got it, flaunt it, but do we really need 11 shirtless selfies in front of your Civic with its unnecessarily huge spoiler?”
18 Oh, The Ego!
Depending on the dating site or how our initial conversations go, we will likely get a big clue to his personality by gauging the size of his ego. If his ideal date seems to be ego-centric or his list of accomplishments is long, he’s a no-go. According to Modern Mom, “He may also define himself through material items or brag about his accomplishments.
This is the type of man who will also take credit for someone else’s work, or he may avoid giving acknowledgment to other people’s help.
Seeing these types of traits is a big red flag that he will never let you win an argument, and his opinion will always come first.”
17 More Than One Photo Matters
Sometimes one photo is all we get, but sometimes we have the option of adding more, and this is where our guy can show off the different sides of his personality. Twenty photos are probably too many, but the guy with four or five is likely a safer bet. According to The List,
“People who have more photos tend to spend more time on the site getting to know people. If someone has just one photo, they just aren't putting as much effort into things."
For a long-term relationship, we obviously want the guy who puts the effort in way in the beginning.
16 All About The Personality
When we are looking for a guy for a long-term relationship, personality is key. We don’t want the guy who is flat like cardboard or bland like plain rice. We want someone who stands out and shines on his own without false props or fake accents. As The List puts it, “Along with the amount of effort he put into his profile, look for signs that his personality is shining through.
Does he use humor? Can you tell right away that he's super passionate about traveling or playing guitar?”
All of that sounds much more exciting than dating a piece of cardboard that is all about the gym or football.
15 Family Pics Get Bonus Points
For the boyfriend, we want someone who is invested in (or at least gets along with) his family. These people could potentially be our in-laws one day, and we want to know that the relationship is strong for when we start our own family. Plus, his interactions give us a key insight into his personality. The List says to find someone with family in his pictures, since “photos that show the types of activities they enjoy doing, or feature them engaging with friends and family can be signs he's boyfriend material — just be sure that the activities he enjoys aren't mean-spirited and petty.”
14 All The Smiles
Not the smiley emoji, though. The List says we should look closely at his pictures to find the happy guy:“He's smiling and seems approachable in his pictures.
In addition to seeing his personality shine through in his profile, a picture is worth a thousand words. So if the words that pop into your head when you see a guy's photo are words like ‘intimidating,’ ‘serious,’ or ‘angry,’ swipe left.”
We want the happy guy who isn’t afraid to smile, not the sad guy or the angry guy. A few of us might like a serious guy but only if he knows how to be happy as well.
13 Are His Flaws On Display?
When reading his profile, we get a sneak peek at his personality before we meet in person. Aside from the inevitable list of accomplishments and things he likes about himself (essentially putting his best foot forward), we should look for little things like any flaws he mentions. If he knows he is obsessed with caffeine or is easily jealous, then he will most likely be willing to work on those. According to The List, “If, however, he mentions flaws or things he's working on, like his tendency to work longer hours than he needs to, it means he's serious about personal growth and wants you to know exactly what you're in for with him.”
12 It Should Go Deeper Than 101
When we are looking for a boyfriend for the long haul, we want him to be interested in a long-term relationship as well. One key way we can find out if this is what he wants before we even meet him is in his profile. If he gets specific about what he is looking for in a relationship, we know what he wants. As The List says, “A guy who doesn't just talk about himself in his profile, but also mentions what he's looking for, has given some thought to the kind of relationship he'd like to have, even if he doesn't come right out and say he wants a relationship.”
11 A Guy's Got To Have Priorities
According to The List, the guy who is online all the time is a no-go.
“No one wants to wait forever before hearing back from someone they've messaged on a dating app, but if a guy is online all the time, it's a sign he doesn't have anything better to d, or even worse.”
We want a guy who has other priorities besides finding a new chick to hang out with. If we don’t hear from him for the whole day or a couple of days, that could actually be a good sign. It shows us that he prioritizes his work and family life.
10 It’s Positively Positive!
When we are scrolling through profiles, and we hit on one that stands out, we want it to stand out for positive reasons. If he is describing things that he doesn’t want and doesn’t like on his profile, those are negatives. He likely imagines his ideal relationship based on what went wrong in a previous one, instead of what worked and was good. As Glamour says, “On the other hand, if a man is describing what he wants and how the two of you could create a partnership together, the signs are pointing to the possibility that he's open and ready.”
9 He Works Hard For The Money
For a man, the big aspects of his life are his career and his family which starts with a loving partner like us. If one area is out of balance, it throws off the other. A man can’t concentrate on establishing a career at the same time as building a healthy relationship. He needs to focus on one at a time to be a success in both areas. According to Glamour,
“For most men to be ready for a serious relationship, they need to feel settled in their career so they have time for something else.”
So it is best to steer clear of the guys who say their music career is just taking off.
8 There's No Place Like Home
We have all had some interesting living situations throughout the course of our lives —especially in this economy. One living situation that isn’t really great for dating after a certain age is when he still lives with his parents. Sure, financially it makes sense for him but by doing so, he is sending the message that he isn’t ready for something serious. Besides, staying overnight at his parents’ house can be weird and bring up memories of dating in high school. According to Elite Daily, “But when you get to a certain age, dating someone who lives in their parents' basement is just not that desirable.”
7 Deal Breakers, Darling
Deal breakers might not come up when we are scrolling through profiles but if they do, we had better make sure that they line up. We don’t want to waste time with someone who doesn’t have the same priorities as we do, since they likely won’t change their minds anytime soon. After all, there is a reason they’re called deal breakers. As Elite Daily says,
“If you and your partner don't agree on the same relationship deal breakers, then they are probably not relationship material.”
Some deal breakers can include where we live as a couple or how many children we want.
6 The Numbers Don’t Lie
On average, guys lie about their height and weight just like we do. Those pictures he posted are likely of when he was at his physical best and not necessarily the most recent ones. One way we can gauge if he is relationship maternal is by mentally comparing his stats to what he looks like in reality on that first date.
If they match fairly well, he likely didn’t lie about those minor details — which is a good sign of honesty.
According to Marie Claire, “On average, guys will say they are two inches taller than they actually are, and will assume you're not going to bring a tape measure to the first date.”
5 Exaggeration Is The Name Of The Game
Everyone exaggerates certain details to make ourselves look or sound better. We do it on resumes, in the stories we tell and on our dating profiles. Since we all do it and we know we all do it, we should start taking all those elaborate details in the dating profiles with a healthy grain of salt and only believe what we see with our own eyes. In the long run of things it will save us time and disappointment. According to Marie Claire, “Don't assume anything based on the guy's stated hobbies or interests; just like his job description, it is likely inflated and made to sound more sophisticated than it actually is.”
4 Educated Schmeducated?
Sure, he might not have a degree, but even a high school education is better than nothing. We want those book smarts to shine through when we are dating because the first impression is his profile and if he words it wrong, uses the wrong grammar, or misspells everything, it will leave a bad impression and turn us off from even considering him. As The List says, “If they can't put a few coherent sentences together when they have an infinite amount of time to create and polish their profile, don't be surprised when they can't do it in person.”
3 Dogs VS Dawgs
Back to those pictures he uploaded to his dating profile: Do any of them have pets? If so, the odds are in his favor. Guys who have pets (especially dogs or cats) are used to caring for something dependent on them, which is good practice for parenthood. They are considerate people, and they aren’t afraid of commitment. Some breeds of dogs, birds, and reptiles can live for decades! If he can commit to that, he’ll probably commit to us. According to Your Tango, “Yes, dogs are man's best friend. But they should be your best friend, too, because they've prepared their owners for being the most amazing husbands ever.”
2 Let's Get Real About Fatherhood
Dating a single dad can be a scary thought at first, but if he is a committed, loving father who does what he is supposed to do for his kids and isn’t a deadbeat dad, then it shouldn’t be so bad. His responsibility toward his kids shows good characteristics and signals that he isn’t afraid of commitment, is stable in life, and knows how to prioritize properly. As Cosmopolitan points out,
“These guys prioritize around their kids, so they have zero tolerance or time for silly dating games.
They are more willing to cut through the nonsense and commit to someone they feel is genuine, trustworthy, and a rockstar.”
1 Clean-Cut Look
Ideas of a clean-cut look on guys can and will vary from woman to woman. That being said, it is always a good idea to date our version of a clean-cut good guy who at least looks like he will take care of us and stick around for the long haul. We don’t want any deadbeats, lazy mama’s boys, or ego-centric guys with a power balance issue. We want someone who is genuine, sweet, and strong. We want our personal hero. Talking About Men’s Health says, “There’s no denying the emphatic revelation that an estimated two-thirds of women experience profoundly greater attraction toward clean-cut men.”