Don’t they always say that first impressions are everything when you meet someone new? It doesn’t matter if you met him at work, in the gym, or on Tinder, there are always expectations when it comes to having your first date. We all hope, after all, that we could be meeting the man of our dreams on the first date. Is that too much to ask?
Luckily, there are always signs that let us know whether we are wasting our time or not. Most of us expect that it might be a bust, and that’s why we have our friends on backup to help us bail out of a horrible first date. We also look for the signs on a date that give us hope, the signs that tell us whether we want to see the person again.
You probably have some first date moves of your own that you bust out when you meet someone new. It’s the same for guys, but there are also telling ways that a guy lets you know that he’s one of the good ones. We have them and we know you want to know what they are! Check out these 20 ways to know if he is a keeper within the first 15 minutes of a date.
20 He Listens To You When You Talk
You might think this isn’t a big deal until you date a guy that makes you feel invisible. Most of us girls have been there, unfortunately, so a man who listens is a breath of fresh air.
If he’s attentive and listening to you even when you’re rambling about how your cat keeps scratching your couch, that's a positive sign.
“When I first started dating my husband I was surprised at how often he’d reference something I’d told him days or weeks earlier. [He] was actually listening when I spoke. It blew my mind,” one surprised dater mentioned. Pay attention to that telltale sign on your first date!
19 He Plans A Real Date
We’re not talking about when a guy texts you and asks if you want to “Netflix and chill.” Unfortunately, we’re living in a time when guys think that behavior is perfectly acceptable. Probably because some girls will put on their cutest outfit and head on over!
Therefore, the guy is a keeper if he puts the effort in to plan a real date. A great date is something that involves you getting to know each other without too close. It could be as simple as dinner or going for a hike as long as he put effort into it.
18 They Have A Positive Mindset
This is another thing that you might not think is a big deal, but it is. Imagine spending the next 50 years with someone who is negative or complains all the time.
Watch how your date speaks about things: is it in a positive or negative way?
Watch is he is making positive talking points and you can see that when he opens conversations by talking about things that he likes instead of things that he doesn’t like. It makes a huge difference in how you are going to enjoy that conversation as well.
17 He Can Make You Laugh
If you can get through an awkward first date without wanting to swear off dating forever, then you are certainly doing well for yourself. Imagine being on a first date and having so much great chemistry that you spend the whole time laughing your buts off. If a guy can make you laugh, we say get to a chapel as soon as possible.
Ok, just kidding, but you know what we mean. Laughter is seriously the best medicine and we believe that finding a partner that can make you laugh for the rest of your life is the best idea ever.
16 He Is Kind To The Waitstaff
You can tell a lot about a guy by the way that he speaks to the people who wait on him. If the two of you are out for dinner, watch how he treats the waitstaff- it will tell you a lot about his values.
If he’s rude to the server or hostess, then you can expect that he wouldn’t consider being kind to anyone he deems "below him," and that could be a big problem.
Someone who is nice and shows kindness towards others, especially people who are literally waiting on him, is someone you want to keep around for the long haul.
15 He Looks Great When He Shows Up
Taking care of one’s appearance is important and showing up on a first date looking like a slob means that you really don’t care. It’s a big plus if he puts effort into making himself look good. If he looks sweaty or has messy hair, he might just not care that much.
A guy that shows up looking amazing and well-groomed shows that he wants to impress you and most importantly, he wants you to like him. If he’s not making the effort on the first date, he probably won’t at all throughout your relationship- if you make it that far.
14 He Can Make A Bad Situation Good
Sometimes things can happen on dates that are unexpected and can’t be helped. How you deal with those circumstances can tell a lot about you.
Of course, the fact that this pair is now married says a lot about how one lady's then-boyfriend handled their less-than-enjoyable date.
“When I started dating my now-husband, we went to the ocean in April (cold, rainy, not a sunny beachy-time like you’d picture). It was… [awful]. We had his dog in the back, that puked, couldn’t find parking, the dog peed in the hotel room, the brewery we stopped at didn’t have food that day (for some reason, and we hadn’t eaten much), no GPS… it looked like a setup for a horror movie.”
13 You Feel Comfortable Being Yourself
To some degree, everyone is on their best behavior on a first date because they don’t want to make any mistakes. But there are also times when someone’s true colors stand out. If you feel awkward or insecure during a first date, he might not be the one for you.
But if he makes you so comfortable that you feel like you can let your guard down, that’s a great sign. “If you feel like you don’t have to put on a front to impress the other person and most communication feels safe and straightforward both ways, that’s a very green light in my experience,” one woman shared.
12 He Behaves Like A Gentleman
Sure, we may be living in a very different time, but we assure you chivalry is not dead. There are plenty of guys who are still gentlemen and we think it’s a pretty outstanding quality to have.
A guy should be a gentleman regardless of what generation he was born in, and that’s something you will be able to see right on the first date.
He may open the door for you, pull out a chair for you, or pick you up for your date. If he treats you with class, then he’s a keeper.
11 He’s Genuinely Happy To Be On The Date
If he seems like he isn’t that interested in the date while he’s with you, then that could be a serious red flag. If you see him checking his watch, he's not answering your questions, or he's just anxious throughout the date, it may be because he sees it as an inconvenience.
The guy of your dreams should be happy to be on the date with you and have a smile on his face. If he’s not paying attention to you and showing that he wants to be there, then he’s likely not the one for you.
10 He Shows You Respect
This is not necessarily a first 15-minute rule, but it’s important enough to be mentioned. Let's be honest- we're living in modern times, and most dating rules have completely gone out the window. Therefore, it’s totally up to you whether you want to go home with your date at the end of the night but if you do, make sure that you are treated with respect.
Every woman needs to feel empowered to say no when she wants to, and any guy worth dating will respect her choices.
If any date ignores your feelings or your words, he's not boyfriend material.
9 He Doesn’t Just Talk About Himself
We want guys to talk about themselves because that’s how we get to know them. But if a guy takes over the whole conversation and rambles on about all his goals and accomplishments, that’s going to make for a boring date. If he wants to know more about you, then that’s a great sign that he’s truly interested in getting to know you.
That's why this is the golden rule for sussing out the keepers: he “asks you about you instead of just talking about themselves and shows a genuine interest in what you are saying.”
8 He Wants To Learn More About Your Passions
Whether it be your passions, goals, or hobbies, it’s awesome if a guy is willing to learn more about the things that bring you joy in your life. If he seems genuinely interested that’s great news.
If you guys start up a relationship, having things in common or that you both find interesting is a huge plus.
“Taking a true interest in something you find important. If someone is willing to learn about your hobby so you can talk about it together, that is a huge thing.” It might even be something he wants to do with you later on.
7 Conversations Flow Easily
Have you ever been on a date where there are long silences? It’s torture. The best dates are when the conversation flows easily. If you find that kind of chemistry with a guy, then it can be a really good sign.
“First dates that go on forever because you can’t stop talking are a good sign. I remember being super skeptical about this one guy, but I gave him a coffee date because my friends told me to give him a shot. Four hours later, I was really glad I did.”
6 He Doesn’t Talk Badly About His Ex
It would be nice if he didn’t talk about his ex at all, but if he does, pay attention to what he says about her. Beware of a guy who calls his exes crazy.
Sure, there are definitely times when an ex can be crazy- but not always- and sometimes guys hide behind that.
Ladies in the know highlight, “How they feel/talk about their exes. Comments like “there’s no bad blood between us, we just grew older and realized we wanted different things and went our separate ways” show maturity in how they handle relationships, even when they’re done.”
5 His Eyes Don’t Glaze Over
It might happen if you start talking about the new yarn hobby that you've gotten into, but joking aside, a guy should appear interested in the things that you have to say. It’s a great sign if he’s paying attention to you during your date. If he’s a keeper, then he’s not going to give you half-hearted attention, he’s going to make you feel good.
He will stay involved in the conversation and he’ll remember the things that you have told him. If he can’t keep a conversation going on the first day, he won’t on the second one either.
4 A Kind Gesture Goes A Long Way
When a guy brings you flowers or candy on a first date it just lets you know that he was thinking about you. What’s even better is if he shows up with something that he knew you liked from reading your Tinder profile.
Then you know you have a guy that not only pays attention but also wants to make you smile.
Kind gestures go a long way and it just gets the date starting off on a good note. Of course, it doesn't have to be gifts or things of value- it could just be picking a date he knew would be fun for you.
3 He’s Just A Little Bit Nervous
We’re not talking about someone who fumbles all over themselves, as that can make for an awkward date. But what we mean is the person that is just a little bit nervous to be on a date with you.
There is just something endearing about a guy that wants to make a good impression. He wants the date to go well, so he’s a little nervous. That’s a good sign that he’s putting in the effort and that he is hoping that you like him. We all get nervous and that means we care.
2 He Speaks Fondly Of Family
If a guy sits there and talks badly about his friends and family, he’s probably going to be a toxic person in your life. How a guy talks about his friends and family will tell you a lot about who he is as a person.
If he speaks fondly of his family and friends, then you can bet that he has a great relationship with them.
If he’s trash talking people in his life, then that’s not a guy that you want to get tangled up with. He has negative vibes and will likely only bring you down as well.
1 He Pays For The Meal, No Questions Asked
We get that it’s totally PC these days to go Dutch or to even buy meals for your guy. We’re not saying that you can’t, but it says a lot about a guy who is willing to pay for a meal for a girl he hardly knows.
If he makes a big deal about splitting the check, that might mean that he’s just not that into you in the first place. Once you guys are in a relationship, you can decide who pays for dates, but we’re firm believers that a guy should pay for the meal or drinks on a first date- or at least offer to!
Sources: Bolde, Madame Noire, Thought Catalog