Being able to look into the future at certain points in life would be a blessing. Unfortunately, we can’t rely on crystal balls to tell us whether we’re making the right decision or not, and instead have to turn to our instincts.
When it comes to deciding whether a man is husband material or not, we don’t have psychic powers at our disposal, but we can look at a number of signs that suggest he is or isn’t what we’re looking for.
It sounds simple enough to gauge whether a boyfriend will turn into a good husband or not—if he’s a good boyfriend, he’ll make a good husband, right? While that’s true to an extent, it gets much more complicated. There are a few unexpected signs that most people don’t even realize can make a difference in how good a husband someone turns out to be.
Men who won’t make good husbands tend to do seemingly innocent things, like have a worry-free approach to life or forget to visit their parents. And though they’re little actions, they all add up and point to the fact that he might make a bad husband, even if he’s been a good boyfriend.
Check out these twenty unexpected signs that he’ll make a bad future husband.
20 He Laughs At One Too Many Misogynist Jokes
A guy who doesn’t respect women, in general, will more than likely end up being a bad husband. Everybody’s different as to how far they take their jokes on sticky subjects and the line they draw between appropriate and inappropriate.
As a rule of thumb, if he makes jokes and comments to the point where you question whether he does really respect women, then he won’t be the ideal husband for you. Men who don’t respect women might not outwardly admit it, but you can see it through the little things they do, like always believing they’re smarter or more capable than you, or making demeaning comments.
19 His Eye Wanders A Little Too Far
It’s natural for us all to look at people we’re attracted to, and to make matters even more complicated, we really can’t control who we’re attracted to. But there’s certainly a difference between having an innocent little look every now and then and openly chasing after other people while you’re in a committed relationship.
And in our experience, if he has a wandering eye when you’re dating him, that’s not likely to improve after you’re married. You might even find that he starts chasing other girls even more than he did when he was just your boyfriend.
18 She Has To Look Hard For Support
In a long-term relationship, support should be a given. There’s a lot of work that goes into maintaining a bond with someone, and one of the rewards you get for that effort is having someone to lean on.
Sometimes, though, we don’t even notice that a partner is lacking in giving us the support we need because a lot of other things in the relationship are going according to plan. But support is one of those things that we just can’t do without in life. You’ll probably find having a husband who never supports you to be quite painful as time goes on.
17 He’s Really, Really Close With His Mom
Okay, it’s not automatically a bad thing if a man is close with his mother. But if he’s really, really close—in other words, too close—he could also be overly dependent on her. And anybody who’s overly dependent on their mother makes for a bad spouse.
Someone who relies on his mother for everything is probably going to be looking for a second mother to take over when he gets married. This is the type of person who would expect his meals all cooked and his laundry all done, regardless of the fact that you’re working exactly the same hours as he is.
16 She Feels Like She Has To Impress Him
In the beginning of a relationship, both people are usually on their very best behavior. It’s always a little while before you let the real you out, and to an extent, we all put on a façade to try and impress the other person. Over time, though, those charades ease up and our real personalities emerge.
If it’s been a while and you still feel like you have to try hard to impress your partner and you can’t just be yourself around him, we can almost guarantee he won’t make a good husband. If this is the case, you’re either totally mismatched or there is just no pleasing him.
15 He Expects Her To Look Immaculate All The Time
Part of feeling like you always have to impress him is going to every effort to look flawless from head to toe whenever you’re in his presence. It’s one thing if dressing up makes you feel good, and it's a personal choice.
But if he expects it of you, to the point where he would be disappointed or criticize if you had a bad hair day or put on a few pounds or grew tired of your weekly spray tans, we have an inkling that he’d be a bad husband. You don’t need that kind of stress in your life!
14 Family Time Isn't One Of His Priorities
When you make someone your husband, you make him your family. So naturally, it’s a good idea to make sure he’s a good player for team family before you sign up. If family time isn’t one of his priorities, it could be a sign that he’s not cut out for the family life, whether kids are in the equation or not.
He doesn’t have to be totally obsessed with his family, but it’s a promising sign if he makes some time for them in his life. Unless he has a good reason, someone who can never find the time to visit his parents isn’t a good prospect as a new family member of your own.
13 He Pleases Her With Too Many White Lies
We all know that the truth hurts sometimes. Honesty is one of the foundations on which a healthy relationship is built, and even though some relationship experts argue that there are certain situations in which you should lie to your significant other, it’s not a good sign if your partner can’t keep up with all his lies.
Even if he thinks he’s protecting you from something, or he’s not telling the truth to spare your feelings, there has to be some basic honesty between two people who are going to spend their lives together. If there’s not, you might want to rethink whether it’s a good idea to make him your husband.
12 He's Living His Best Life (Without Regard For His Finances)
There’s nothing wrong with a man living his best life, and nobody should have to alter the way they live to please someone else. That said, it’s also true that nobody should have to start a new life with someone who is so focused on having fun that they’ve lost control over their finances.
If you’re responsible for your finances, and work and save in moderation, it might be a mistake to fuse your life with someone who hasn’t been putting in the same effort, and who might take advantage of your hard work. A man who has some kind of financial plan in place would make a better husband in that regard.
11 He's Too Easy-Going And Happy Go Lucky
Let us confirm: men who are easy-going do make fantastic husbands. It’s nice to have someone who’s not too highly strung around sometimes! But if he’s too easy-going, and plods along through life rather than having goals and ambitions of his own, there’s a chance that he won’t have his life together at all.
Many people go through a phase where their life consists of partying and traveling and having no worries. No judgment, but we wouldn’t marry someone until they were out of that phase and in control of their life. Someone who stays up all night, is always late to work (if they have a job), and spends all weekend sleeping probably won’t make a great spouse.
10 He’s Married To His Job
Not to sound like Goldilocks here, but while you should be aware of men who are too easy-going about life, you should also watch out for signs that your man is too obsessed with his job.
Now, everyone is entitled to work as hard as they like to reach their professional dreams, and we’re not blaming anyone for being married to their job. It’s just helpful to remember that if someone is married to their job, they probably don’t have the time, energy, or space in their life to be a good spouse too. It’s a sign that he won’t make a good husband if his life lacks that balance and work is his only priority.
9 His Ultimate Goal Is Impressive, But Different From Hers
When two partners are completely different, it can add something really interesting to the relationship. We often hear of opposites attracting and completing each other because two people with differences between them can learn a lot from each other. There are, however, certain things that two people should have in common if their marriage is going to last and be healthy.
While partners don’t have to have the same interests, they should have similar goals. No matter how impressive his dreams of the future are, it will be a struggle if they’re vastly different from yours. That doesn’t make him a bad husband in general; just a bad husband for you.
8 His View On Marriage Is Very Traditional
Marriage means something different to everyone. The golden rule is that you and your future husband should have the same ideas of what marriage is, or you might find that he turns out to be a less-than-perfect husband. Typically, if his view on marriage is quite traditional and perhaps a little outdated, he could end up having expectations that don’t work for you at all.
Historically speaking, marriage was about the exchange of property more than anything—that property being the wife, from her father to her husband. Someone with a very traditional outlook might see you as his property in a way and probably won’t make a great partner.
7 There Are Family Dramas Already
Family shouldn’t be the deciding factor as to whether or not you stay with someone for the rest of your life. Keep in mind, though, that it’s a sign that you won’t have a happily ever after with him if there are already family dramas.
If his family aren’t very nice to you, and he doesn’t stand up for you, there’s a good chance he won’t be a good husband. In the same way, if he’s always arguing with your family and saying negative things about them behind their backs (that they don’t deserve), it’s not a very good sign.
6 They Spend Little Time Laughing
They say that laughter is another of the great pillars of a good relationship. It doesn’t seem like something that’s very important, but because laughing actually has so many benefits, it really is a big deal. If he doesn’t make you laugh, he might not make the best husband.
That’s not to say that he’s not a funny person if he doesn’t make you laugh. Different people have different senses of humor, and it’s more likely that he just doesn’t match up properly with you and what you find funny. Either way, never underestimate the value of a man who can make you laugh!
5 She Thinks She Can Change Him
Yikes. It’s naïve to think that you can drastically change anyone. Of course, people do naturally transform over time due to a variety of factors, but there are certain personality traits within them that tend to always stay the same. What’s more, people only change when they want to.
So while it is possible for a man to change and become better, it’s not a good idea to wait around for it, especially if you have to be the one driving the change. If there’s something about him that you’re trying to chisel away, he probably won’t end up being the type of husband you want.
4 They Have Different Interests, But He Won’t Meet Her Half Way
It’s totally okay to have different interests from your partner. Just because he’s into sports and you can’t stand football doesn’t mean that he’ll make a bad husband. But to make a relationship really work, you both have to put in an effort to put bridges between those differences.
He doesn’t have to take an interest in everything you like, but if there’s an event to which you’d like him to come with you, he should make the effort. If he refuses to negotiate and meet you halfway like that, there’s a good chance that he won’t make a good husband.
3 He Doesn’t Inspire Her To Be A Better Person
Whether or not a partner inspires you to be a better person might not be on your list of criteria. Most people tend to overlook this, but it can be the difference between an okay husband and a great one. An amazing husband will inspire you to be the best you can in terms of work, health and life in general.
He won’t necessarily be pushy, but he will always encourage you to improve because he wants the best for you. Life won’t feel like a big rut. On the other hand, if he doesn’t inspire you to do better, it might be because he just doesn’t care how your life is going.
2 He’s Not Someone She Can Picture Being With Forever
The binds of marriage aren’t as strong as they once were. Nowadays, if marriages don’t work out, most people don’t think twice about leaving them behind. But while the decision to marry someone isn’t literally irreversible, it is one you’ll want to think carefully about.
It’s a sign that he won’t be a good husband for you, and won’t make you happy, if you can’t picture being with him forever. Don’t wait for those feelings to come if they’re not there now. If he’s not the sort of person you want there by your side until your last breath, he’s not husband material for you.
1 He Doesn’t Really Want To Be Married
This should be a given. If he doesn’t want to be married, he won’t be a good husband, pure and simple. That’s why it’s never a good idea to force or pressure someone into marriage, whatever the circumstances are. There’s the common belief that all women dream of marriage and all men avoid it until they have to, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are people of both genders who are the marrying type, and those who aren’t and never will be. It’s not wrong for a man to decide that marriage isn’t for him, but if he ends up getting married anyway, you can almost bet he won’t be a good husband.
Sources: Your Tango, TheClever, New Love Times