20 Things Wrong With Damon & Elena's Relationship (We Choose To Ignore)

When Vampire Diaries first aired, everyone was ready to scream, "move over Bella and Edward!" There was a new vampire couple in town and their names were Elena and Stefan.

He was a total catch and Elena was your typical human teenager going to high school. Sound familiar? Well, it gets a bit more complicated than that. As it turns out, Stefan had a brother named Damon, who was seriously unhinged. Fans believed there was no way that innocent Elena Gilbert would ever leave Stefan for Damon... or would she?

A series of supernatural events eventually forced Elena to realize that her heart didn’t belong to Stefan. So, she pursued a relationship with his impulsive, out-of-control brother.

This vamp had some serious issues that only got worse with time. So, fans were left wondering, what on Earth was Elena thinking? Sure, there were a few sweet moments between these two, but the bad definitely outweighed the good.

And we simply never understood how Elena could have been so willing to forgive. But plenty of Vampire Diaries fans never questioned the relationship, hence this list of things that made no sense about Damon and Elena’s relationship.

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20 Damon Loved Katherine For 145 Years & She Never Loved Him Back, But Elena...


Damon loved Katherine, the vampire temptress who actually turned him into a vampire. But she never loved him back because she was too busy pining over Stefan.

Coincidentally, she turned he and Damon into vampires at the same time.

It happened after the Salvatore brothers nearly died in the 1800s. It was the only way to save them, so we’re guessing she kind of liked them both a little... maybe. Who knows what her real intentions were? Then came Katherine’s modern-day doppelganger, Elena Gilbert. Damon could have projected his anger of being rejected by Katherine to Elena, but he didn’t. He loved her more than un-life itself and often had issues over his feelings for Elena with his brother Stefan.

19 What Are The Chances Elena Would Actually Have A Doppelganger...


Katherine Pierce, aka Katerina Petrova, was one of the show’s main antagonists. She was also a witch and a vampire. But why did Elena look so much like her? Were they related? That would be a no. On the show, certain key characters have doppelgangers throughout time. And as it turns out, Katherine and Elena were actually doppelgangers of the first immortal woman named Amara, but no one seems to explain why everyone's got a doppelganger across time. The explanation sounds absolutely crazy, but then again, we are talking about a series that deals with ghosts, witches, werewolves, and vampires. They even delve into elements of the afterlife. So, it’s not so that far-fetched, after all, right?

18 Damon Went After Elena's Brother, And Yet, They Still Get Together Later On


You might say that Damon was always a bit of an immature spoiled brat. He also really disliked being rejected, and he had already been turned down by Katherine.

But when Elena told him that she loved Stefan, and that “it’s always gonna be Stefan,” in season 2, episode 1, Damon totally loses his cool.

But does he take it on poor, vulnerable, Elena Gilbert? Of course not! He gets her where it really hurts... her brother, Jeremy. But although her brother appeared to have met his maker, Damon knew that Jeremy was wearing a ring that would bring him back to life. And yet later in the series, Elena still dates Damon despite his having attacked her own brother in such a bad way.

17 Elena Couldn't Make Up Her Mind About Her Feelings For Damon, So Why Didn't He Just Leave?


In season 1, Elena never doubted that Stefan was the one. But from season 2 and on, she struggled with her feelings for both Salvatore brothers. And who could blame her? They were both equally gorgeous! In fact, in one episode, Katherine tells Elena that it’s okay to love both of them. But obviously, she couldn’t have her cake and eat it too. So, she struggled like a yo-yo until she got vamped at the end of season 3. But you’d think that after everything Damon had been through with Katherine, he would have gotten tired of dealing with Elena’s indecisiveness and simply told her to take a hike.

16 Elena Seemed To Be Kind Of Indifferent To Damon's Superpowers In The Beginning


Okay, so he’s a vampire who has undoubtedly sent lots of people to their early graves, but that was only when his humanity was turned off. Yeah, it turns out that the vamps in the series can shut off their humanity and embrace their darkness.

But Elena wasn’t initially wooed by his charm. She wasn’t even afraid of or impressed by Damon’s superpowers! 

I mean, the guy could conjure up crows and fogs! He could even compel (mind control) people into doing his bidding. But Elena seemed completely unfazed by all of this which is kind of odd. Just how often did she find herself surrounded by supernatural events?

15 Damon Kinda Didn't Seem To Care If Elena Was In His Life Or Not


Damon and Elena broke up a bunch of times throughout the series. The two of them got together after Elena became a vampire. But as happy as Damon was, it turns out that her love was the result of something called the "sire bond." Since Damon’s blood was used to make Elena a vampire, she fell in love with Damon against her will. But when Elena turned off her humanity, her sire bond to Damon broke, and their relationship was over. They did get back together for a while, but that wasn't the end of this roller-coaster ride. Later on, Damon ended things when she went off to college for some reason. All these actions made some Vampire Diaries fans question his true feelings for Elena.

14 Elena Always Looks The Other Way When Damon Has One Of His Little "Outbursts"


Elena was always the moral compass of the show when she was human and even after she became a vampire. Alright, so there might have been a few nightmarishly disturbing moments, but for the most part, Elena was a pretty decent human being.

But Damon was always doing things that would make his on-again-off-again girlfriend question whether there was any good in him.

When Damon had any of his little outbursts, she would often rely on her friends like Bonnie, Caroline, or even Stefan, which undoubtedly didn’t improve Damon’s mood one bit. And yet, she always manages to run back into his arms no matter how badly he behaved.

13 And When He Messes Up Real Bad, She's Quick To Forgive Him (*Rolls Eyes*)


Elena and Stefan’s love was sustained by true love, that is until it eventually fizzled out. But her relationship with Damon was based on control and fear. The issue some fans have with Elena is that she was always so quick to forgive and forget whenever Damon messed up real bad. There was one time when he squeezed her hand so much with his vamp strength that it really hurt her. That should've been enough to kick this gorgeous vampire to the curb. But she eventually went back to him. But Damon didn't only suffer from poor anger management skills. He was also a very jealous vamp. But Elena looked the other way no matter how bad he was to her.

12 Damon And Elena's Entire Relationship Is A Major Red Flag


Anyone who’s watched the series from beginning to end knows that Damon has some major anger management issues. But Elena is pretty aware of this. She even told Esther Mikaelson, mother of Elijah, Niklaus, Kol, Rebekah, Henrik, Finn, and Freya, that Damon’s love was “a problem.”

Of course, this was after Esther attacked Damon in Season 3.

But later, Damon gets back at Elena by dating Rebekah. How childish, right? It seems that Damon loves to lash out whenever he feels like people are provoking him. Too bad there’s no such thing as supernatural anger management class, huh?

11 And Why Did Elena Let Damon Drink From Her While She Was Still With Stefan?


Damon allowed Elena to drink his blood during season 4. But there was a reason for this madness. When Elena "died," she had some of Damon’s blood in her system, which turned her into a vampire. But a nascent vampire must feed in order to live. When Elena and Damon were trapped he gave her some of his blood to survive. That was understandable. But in season 4, episode 2, he offered her some of his blood at the bar and she willingly took it, which totally upset Stefan, and with good reason! He was dating Elena at the time, and drinking from another vampire was a major breach of trust. But eventually, we learned that she was forced to do this because she was under the control of the sire bond.

10 Elena Was Under Damon's Control Thanks To His "Compelling" Abilities, But Did She Ever Question Him? Nope


Damon compelled Elena on more than one occasion. He does this when he tells her that he’s in love with her and then compels her to forget.

We learn later on in the series that it was Damon who met Elena before the events of the series premiere.

He initially confused her for Katherine, but later realized he was talking to a doppelganger. The two hit it off, but he compelled her to forget that. Then of course, there’s the sire bond. This wasn’t necessarily his fault, but he was technically in control of her until she turned her humanity switch off.

9 Elena Was Totally Fine With Damon Being With Her Mother, Isobel (Wow, I Know!)


Most girls would be ticked off if they learned that their boyfriend’s brother had turned their mom into a vampire. But Elena didn’t seem to care. Of course, she may not have known the whole story when the following events went down. But Damon had turned Isobel into a vampire long ago, and when she came back to Mystic Falls, she tried to assault her daughter. It’s possible that Elena never really knew the whole truth. But we’re surprised that Isobel didn’t use it to drive a wedge between her daughter and Damon. It turns out that Damon and Isobel had dated in the past, something that was news to Elena.

8 Even Though Fans Think Elena Loved Playing The Victim, She Did Recognize This...


Elena was always playing the victim, at least, that’s what most fans felt she was doing. She was under so much stress that she spent a lot of time whining. But when your entire family loses their lives to vampires (some of them came back, like Jeremy), you certainly deserve a little slack.

It’s true that some of the pain she endured during the series was beyond her control, but some people believe she could have prevented herself a few heartbreaking moments throughout the series.

Maybe if she had acknowledged that she always had feelings for Damon, even when she was with Stefan, she could have saved herself some heartache.

7 Despite Knowing Quite Well How The "Sire Bond" Works, Damon Still Doesn't Believe Elena's Love Declaration


When Elena told Damon she loved him during the sire bond, he believed her, or perhaps, he wanted to believe it so badly. But we think deep down inside he knew that it wasn’t real. Eventually, Stefan convinced him that it was nothing but a lie, but Damon didn’t take it very well. Then Elena turned off her humanity for a while and she stopped loving Damon (and everyone else). But when her humanity was switched on again, she told Damon that her love was actually real. Yeah, our heads are spinning too! It turns out that the sire bond affects actions, not emotions. So, Elena really did love him, he just didn’t want to believe it.

6 Stefan And Elena Had So Much In Common, Some Believe They Should've Stayed Together


Some fans felt that Stefan and Elena should have stayed together, because let's face it, he was really handsome and seemed to be the most stable one. Well, not always. When Stefan’s humanity was turned off, he became a ripper, also known as someone you don’t want to run into in a dark alley.

But like Elena, Stefan also had a diary which talked about her interests and innermost feelings.

But Damon didn’t even start writing a diary until season 7. So, wouldn’t that suggest that Stefan and Elena had a little more in common? At least Stefan was a total "boy next door" which makes him total boyfriend material. And let's just face it! Damon may have been attractive, but he was also a little creepy.

5 In A Total "Mr. Nice Guy" Move, Damon Turned Elena Into A Vampire (How "Romantic" Huh?)


During the end of season 3, Elena had suffered a serious injury in her head. The only way that Dr. Fell could save Elena was to give her vampire blood. It turns out vampire blood is the cure-all for just about every injury, sort of like a super-pill you can take to cure pretty much everything. Unfortunately, when Elena drowned, the blood did its mystical part and made her a vampire in transition. But sadly, Elena never wanted to become a vampire. Maybe a part of her was grateful to Dr. Fell and Damon for accidentally turning her. But she was probably a little ticked off for a while too.

4 Damon Kept Hurting Elena's BFF Caroline Over And Over Again, But Elena Still Got Together With Him


Caroline was one of Elena’s BFFs. Maybe that’s why Damon treated her so poorly. Perhaps, he was threatened by their relationship, which is why Carolina became sort of like some kind of plaything to him. While Caroline was human in season 1, Damon compelled her to wear a dress just because he wanted to see her in it. He even fed off of her, which left Elena mortified when she learned the truth.

She confronted him and called him out on the fact that he was really cold and inhuman.

But by the time she was ready to accept her feelings for him and date him, Elena never once wondered whether Damon would end up treating her as badly as he once did Caroline.

3 And We Were All #TeamCaroline When She Turned Into A Vampire And Confronted Damon


When Katherine turned Caroline into a vampire, Damon’s compulsion over her broke. So, Caroline was furious at the memories of everything that Damon had done to her. Suffice it to say, she was pretty angry. So, when she met Damon at the Mystic Falls carnival, she wasn’t just there to deliver Katherine’s message. She was there to give him a piece of her mind. And we were totally rooting for our girl, Caroline! Eventually, Caroline and Damon ended up forming a platonic friendship, the kind that didn’t involve any wooden stakes. At least Caroline didn’t have to worry about being compelled, because only The Original vamps could compel other vamps!

2 Everybody Was Scared Of Damon, (And With Good Reason!)


Damon was nearly bicentennial and had fallen in love with more women than he could count. He’d made a few friends he could rely on along the way but also made plenty of enemies.

Still, no one was foolish enough to stand up to Damon, and with good reason.

He was intimidating! But Damon wasn’t the most powerful vampire, at least, not when you compare him to an Original vamp like Klaus. However, his actions really left a lot to be desired, especially when his humanity switch was off. But Elena didn’t care which side that switch was flipped. Whenever he was out of line, she’d give him a dose of reality.

1 Elena Might've Stayed With Stefan If It Wasn't For Damon's Powers


Is it possible that Elena and Stefan might have still been together if Damon hadn’t messed with her head so many times? Between all the compulsion and the sire bond, it’s possible that Elena’s emotions went on the fritz. Plus, vampire emotions are more heightened than human emotions, so this might have sent all of Elena’s emotions out of whack and caused her to fall into the arms of the wrong vampire. If we’re being honest, we kind of feel like Elena had always loved Damon in some sort of way. But it probably wouldn’t have resurfaced had she remained human.

Sources: MTV, Cosmopolitan, Screen Rant

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