When two people break up, it’s hard to know if it’s actually over. Who knows if the opportunity to get back together is still waiting in the wings? If that’s something that a woman wants because she still has feelings for her ex, then why not go for it?
But how does one know if he still feels the same way? For all we know, he may have moved on. Maybe he’s happy with the breakup. Well, there are actually subconscious signs that he will give out to a girl even before the relationship is truly over that will tell her if he’s definitely over her.
Check out these 20 things he subconsciously does that show he’s ready to move on for good.
20 He Spends More Time With Friends And Family
If a guy is really into you or still in love with you, he’s going to want to spend time with you. If he doesn’t, then that’s a huge red flag. Spending more time with friends and family instead of you likely means that he has checked out of the relationship.
“You notice that they are spending less time with you and dedicating more time to family and friends,” says Rhonda Milrad, relationship therapist and founder of online relationship community Relationup, as Best Life reports. “They are putting more energy and time into other relationships in their inner circle.”
19 He’s Always Picking Fights
If you guys were fighting nonstop before you broke up, then chances are you aren’t getting back together. Someone who picks fights with you over nothing is usually pretty sick of you at that point.
It’s a sign that he’s just exhausted with the relationship, so he blows up over nothing.
The fact that he’s fighting with you over things that shouldn’t matter means that he’s over you and over the relationship.
18 He Agrees To Everything
You might think you won the lottery with a guy who just agrees to everything, but in reality he just doesn’t have the energy any longer to invest in the relationship. He doesn’t care enough to put his foot down or speak up about his wants.
“Fighting is actually decreased and negotiating is not even needed anymore because the person or the couple is just done,”
Rose Lawrence, a psychotherapist and owner of Mind Balance, tells Best Life. “They have chosen to submit to the fact they want out of the relationship, so their indifference displays as being agreeable.”
17 He Doesn’t Text Her Back
Whether your relationship is about to end or whether it has already ended, if you find that you are texting him and he’s not texting back, that’s a bad sign. It means he’s over you and can’t even be bothered to message you back.
Don’t believe anyone who says that they don’t have their phone on them because everyone is glued to their phones these days.
The fact that he’s not messaging you probably means that he’s slowly moving on from you.
Texting is so quick and easy so if he’s not doing it, there’s a reason.
16 He Holds Back Big News
If you have big news, who is the first person that you tell? Probably the man in your life. But if you discover something huge about him from his best friend, that’s a red flag. “If someone comes before your partner in sharing either good or bad news, they are no longer your primary confidant, your closest friend,” Rosalind Sedacca, a dating and relationship coach and author, tells Best Life.
15 He Stops Making Long-Term Plans
Maybe when things were going well between you, the two of you used to talk about all the places you would travel and when you wanted to have kids. But now, he puts off talking about any of that and it’s because he no longer sees a future with you. If you guys are already broken up, then there is no point in hoping to get back together. It's not going to happen.
14 He’s Completely Bored All The Time
If your guy's looking bored a lot lately, it's a warning sign. “Many individuals report boredom as a telltale sign that a relationship is in trouble,” psychotherapist Denise Limongello tells Best Life.
“If you feel bored not only with your partner, but with life in general, it might mean that you’re no longer in the right relationship.”
Boredom does come and go, but you shouldn't be bored with your life all the time.
13 He Gives Her Stuff Back
So, you have been debating about whether to text him to see how he’s doing and all of a sudden, he shows up with a box of your stuff. If he’s doing that, then you might as well forget getting back together because he’s already done. If he’s willing to return things that you gave him, then he’s no longer emotionally attached to you and that’s a bad thing. He’s now making a clean break and he wants to be rid of everything associated with your time together.
12 He’s Not Listening To Her
Do you find that when you talk to him, you always have to repeat yourself? “Making your significant other repeat himself or herself over and over again indicates that your interest and passion are dwindling,” Rori Sassoon, relationship expert and CEO of VIP matchmaking service Platinum Poire, tells Best Life.
“This makes it seem like you are not paying attention to them and therefore don’t care about what they have to say.”
If he’s not listening to you, then he’s not on board with being with you.
11 His Friends Are Weird Around You
Maybe you run into one of his friends at the grocery store and you try to strike up a conversation. Is it awkward because he’s acting weird with you? Friends who have loyalty will do that. If they know that their friend is moving on then they will feel uncomfortable talking to you for any reason. Chances are the guy has discussed you at some point with his closest friends so they probably know more about your relationship than you think.
10 He Doesn’t Do Activities With Her
Remember when you used to do yoga or go to sports games with your guy because it was your “thing.” If you notice that he no longer wants to do things with you that he used to do, your relationship is on the rocks. “Every couple falls into rituals or habits that become their ‘thing,’” says Caitlin Bergstein, a matchmaker with Three Day Rule, as Best Life reports.
“When one person starts bailing on those plans or doing them on their own repeatedly, it could be a sign that the relationship is nearing its end.”
Of course you should have your own "thing," but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do things together.
9 He’s Moving Out Of Town
You don’t get a clearer sign than this one. You might think you have a chance of getting him back but if he’s decided to get out of town, then it sounds like he’s looking for a fresh start, away from you. It doesn’t matter whether he’s moving for a new job or to be with his family, the point is that he’s moving away from you. If he wanted to get back together, there is no way that he would move away from someone he cared about.
8 He Refuses To Go To Therapy
If things aren’t going well in the relationship, you may have suggested to your boyfriend that you could go to couple’s therapy. For a guy who isn’t interested in staying in the relationship, he’s not going to want anything to do with “fixing” things.
“If your dynamic is toxic and your partner does not want to try to work it out, then that is a big sign that the relationship may be over,”
family therapist and professional matchmaker Christie Tcharkhoutian tells Best Life. She adds, “It’s similar to when you are driving a car and the emergency warning that you have a flat tire goes off.”
7 He Always Makes Excuses
Do you find that he is always making excuses for his behaviour? He stands you up for a date and tells you it’s because he helped out his parents. That may be true but if he does it again, chances are he’s just making excuses so that he doesn’t have to spend time with you. If this is occurring regularly, it might be a sign that he’s getting over you. If he keeps cancelling on you, you have to let him go, if he hasn’t already left.
6 He Asks Her If She's Met Someone Else
Sometimes we ask our partners hypothetical questions to see what they will say. But, your boyfriend might ask you if you've got an interest in someone outside of the relationship because he's hoping to have an easy way out of it. It could also be a way of projecting — he might have someone on the side but he doesn't want to admit to it. He'd rather blame you. Sneaky! He might be okay with you moving on because he’s probably doing the very same thing.
5 He Avoids Going Home
If he is thinking of breaking up with you, then he might stay out later than usual on the regular. Does it seem like he never wants to come home to you? It's a problem.
“Any problematic living situation can lead people to stay out later than usual to avoid interactions with the person they live with,”
Limongello explains to Best Life. “If you and your partner live together, and yet, you find yourself looking for excuses to stay out, you may be avoiding the fact that your relationship is in jeopardy. If you’re staying out later than usual, don’t underestimate the possible meaning behind this behavior. It might mean that your relationship has soured and you aren’t ready to face it.”
4 He’s Acting Distant Toward Her
This could be happening before a breakup, or after one. If you're trying to get back together with your ex but you’re having trouble because he seems distant even though you are still talking, it's a good sign that he's not looking to get back into a relationship.
People who want to spend time together do so without issue.
If he’s withdrawing from you, it’s likely because he’s over you and he just wants to move on with his life.
3 He Makes Her Feel Lonely
When your relationship starts going south, it usually means that the two of you are out of sync. Even when you’re in the same room together, it can make you feel lonely.
You can be physically together but feel very disconnected from each other.
That can happen because one or both parties just aren't making an effort or they don't feel interested in the relationship anymore.
2 He’s Not Giving Any Love
One of the biggest signs that he’s over you is the fact that he's no longer affectionate. Maybe things were amazing before when he used to shower you with affection and he just seems different now. If he stops holding your hand in public or doesn’t kiss you the way he used to, that could be a red flag. When a guy is into you, he can’t help but touch you. If he’s thinking about a future without you, he may not have any reason to want to be affectionate towards you anymore.
1 Her Gut Just Tells Her Something's Wrong
Your gut will never lead you in the wrong direction. If you feel like something is wrong between the two of you, then chances are it is. As Bustle reports, your gut might even be telling you that the person's just not The One, such as if you feel you can't trust them or you feel alienated from them.
Always listen to the voice that’s telling you something is wrong so you don't waste your time or love on someone who just doesn't want it. Even if they say they want to be with you, or they want to get back together with you, if you feel something's "off" it's always good to listen up!
References: Best Life, Bustle