Dating in today’s world is not easy and it has a lot to do with the millennial dating mindset. Dating can be a good thing, or at least it’s supposed to be. Being single can be fun but it can also be lonely. We all want that someone special in our lives and to end the days when we are single.
Our relationships seem to be the thing that we neglect most often in our lives, even if we are succeeding in every other aspect. Putting dating on the back-burner usually happens because we get tired of making such a big effort. It seems to not be working out and we are hoping for something different.
But blind dates can also be brutal because we know nothing about the person we are going on a date with. There is a Netflix and chill mentality going on right now, too, and that makes it hard to think that we will ever find someone to spend our lives with.
So, what can we do? We may have some tips that can help you to survive the new dating world that we are living in. Check out these 20 small ways to survive dating in a millennial world.
20 Try To Be Friends With Someone First
One way that you can beat the millennial dating trap is to attempt to be friends with the man you are interested in first. If you try out being friends first, it could really make a huge difference.
It can be hard to open up to someone romantically at first and that’s why being friends first is so helpful.
You can build trust as friends and get to know each other without any romantic pressure. Getting to know someone personally on a friendship level is going to make that romance worth the wait. Of course, it'll also help you determine whether romance is in the cards at all in the first place.
19 Try To Avoid Online Dating Apps
You may find this suprising considering that there are at least a dozen different dating apps, but there is a lot wrong with online dating these days. Alysha Jeney, a 30-year-old married relationship counselor says, “I am not a huge fan of online dating, to be 100% honest. I keep hearing over and over again that people are trying to find connection and they can’t be authentic. People are going on date after date after date and they really want to find a connection, but that takes time, and [their dates] don’t want to go out again or they just want [physical relationships].”
18 Look For A Man That Complements Your Life
So many women nowadays are looking for someone to complete them and that may be why they are having trouble finding love. If you don't want to do anything else with your life but find a partner, then you are only going to end up suffocating the man you are with anyway.
You need to have your own interests, your own life, and your own passions first.
Then, you can go and find someone who can complement the life that you have built for yourself. This way you can inspire and challenge each other, rather than making one another your entire world.
17 It’s Okay To Give Someone A Second Chance
We have to stop thinking about those fairy tale romances and start giving the nice guy a chance. Most women are often quick to write off the nice guy when he could turn out to be everything they have ever wanted. You may think you would be settling by agreeing to date that person, but sometimes giving the guy you wouldn’t normally date a second glance a chance is a right choice. You may have thought he was awkward on the first date but giving him another chance might just open your eyes to his great qualities.
16 Forget All The Rules
There seem to be so many rules when it comes to dating and that’s part of the problem these days. At some point, we stopped following our hearts and instead followed rules like you can’t call a person back right away after a date, or that the girl should wait for the guy to text first.
But all these rules can make dating exhausting.
In truth, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to dating. We should be following our hearts and not a checklist. Be confident and express yourself however you want to when you’re dating.
15 Don’t Put Expectations On Your Dating Life
Maybe your biological clock is ticking loudly, but you need to simmer down and take your dating life one day at a time. Stop putting expectations on your dating life, especially when you are still just “seeing” someone. You don’t need to be in a hurry and you don’t need to rush into labeling your relationship. Let it develop naturally and you will find that you will get exactly what you are looking for. It’s when you try to rush things that you suddenly find yourself “ghosted” by the new guy you just started dating... and suggesting baby names too.
14 Don’t Give Out Third Chances
We are all for giving someone a second chance, but we would never recommend that you give someone a third chance. If someone managed to offend you three times, that’s just too many times.
If you are going to survive the millennial world of dating, then you need to learn to stop taking nonsense from guys who don’t deserve a minute of your time.
Don’t answer a text from a guy who took three days to respond to you in the first place, especially if he's already a repeat offender. There's a limit to how many chances a person deserves, and he's proven his character already by now.
13 Get Out Into The Real World
Instead of sitting on Tinder trying to swipe your way into a guy’s heart, why not try to meet someone in the real world? It might sound a little crazy, but it just might work. We need to get back into the old school way of dating and make real connections. So, consider taking up a new hobby or getting involved with a sport. By doing so, you are opening yourself to a whole new world of meeting new people. And if you meet a guy in that environment, you would also have something in common, making it way easier to connect on an intellectual level.
12 Reconsider Who Your “Type” Is
If you have been dating the same type of guys for years, then you might want to consider if that’s why your dating life hasn’t been working out. Maybe it’s time to reconsider who your type is.
Basically, stop fishing in the same sea of bad fish if you’re trying to find a good one.
You don’t have to have a “type,” either, and could just look for a few key qualities. In reality, no one really has a type, it’s just you trying to shove a person into selective criteria. Try going to look for natural and genuine chemistry instead, plus a few common interests if possible.
11 Try To Make The First Move
You may not have ever considered making the first move when dating, but you might find that sort of thing refreshing. It can be rough for a woman to wait around to see if a guy she likes is going to ask her out. If you see a guy that you think you might like to date, then why not muster up the courage and ask him out yourself? He could be waiting for the right moment to approach you, so why make him wait? It just might be the best thing you ever did. Really, just ask yourself, what do you have to lose?
10 Focus On His Best Qualities
We have a habit of only focusing on someone’s flaws when we first start dating them. It’s almost as if we are looking for reasons for the relationship to not progress. We might pick apart a person and then decide we don’t want a second or third date.
But what would happen if we focused on the person’s best qualities instead of their flaws?
Instead of focusing on how nervous he is on the date, try noticing how he let you order first, or the fact that he asks about your interests instead of just talking about himself. Look for the good, and we guarantee you'll find it.
9 Don’t Date Until You Know What You Want
It’s pointless to even get into this crazy world of dating if you have no idea what you are looking for. You need to have a game plan and know what you are looking for or you will always feel lost. If you figure out what you want out of a partner or a relationship, you will have a better time finding it. It’s also okay to be picky when you are looking for a guy since you deserve someone who's great and a good fit for you. You will be able to find the ideal partner eventually because you took the time to discover what you really want in a mate.
8 Make Plenty Of Eye Contact
When you first start dating someone make as much eye contact as possible! After all, you can learn a lot about someone by looking in their eyes, and it shows them you're open to a connection.
Bottom line? Put your phone down and focus on eye contact.
"Locking eyes with someone, especially when you’re constantly looking down at your phone, can feel intimidating and requires confidence," says Millennial Love Expert Samantha Burns, a licensed mental health counselor, relationship counselor, and dating coach. "Eye contact allows you to determine if someone is safe, attractive and whether you want this person to approach you.”
7 Start Looking To Expand Your Social Circle
Start hanging out with friends in larger groups. Go to events you wouldn’t normally go to in order to meet new people. "If you don’t expand your social circle, you won’t meet new people," Burns says. "Attend with the mindset of making new friends, rather than searching for a potential significant other. Even if no sparks fly with guests, you never know who these new friends can introduce you to in their extended networks." This is so much better than online dating, too, since you can observe people in their "natural" habitat before venturing out on a one-on-one date.
6 You Should Give Meditation A Try
You might be asking yourself what meditating has to do with your dating life. But it could change the whole way you date.
It can also help relax you when it comes to the stress of seeking a partner.
"Take a meditation class or sign up for an app, such as Calm or Headspace," Burns says. "The more you practice mindfulness, the more aware you are of your self-defeating thoughts that may make you feel cynical and disheartened about your dating life. You can also leave your phone at home and take a mindful walk where you focus solely on your physical sensations and the environment around you. Meditating and mindfulness can help you manage your dating and relationship stress and reduce anxiety."
5 Collect Data About Your Dating Life
Once again, you want to start figuring out what you want from a man and you can figure that out while you are dating. It will allow you to see what you like and don’t like. "Treat dating like it's a social experiment," Silva says. "It really IS. When you are out in public, treat dating like you are collecting data on what you want and don't want. See what combinations of qualities and characteristics better complement you. Don't treat dating like it's a job interview or when in public treat it like you are online (approaching everyone to see what sticks or avoiding connecting)."
4 Consider Emailing 20 Of Your Friends
Celebrities have plenty of success stories about how their friends set them up with someone awesome.
So, why not ask your friends to do the same for you?
"Send an email to at least 20 people you know and ask them to set you up with a friend of the appropriate gender(s) who is single and looking," says Pella Weisman, dating coach and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. "Give them a brief outline of who you are and what you're looking for (this is not your extensive wish list, just 2-3 top criteria) so they can forward the email along.”
3 Reconsider Your Own Dating Beliefs
You might want to consider in this new dating world what your own beliefs are and whether or not they need to be updated. "Take an inventory of your internal language around dating, love, and relationship," Yaghmai says. "What negative things are you saying about them. (hint: Your negative inner talk is taking you away from your dream love life's vision). Then ask yourself the following questions to help you change them so they support your vision of love life. 1) How true is it? (do you have statistical facts) 2) Is this belief supporting your vision of your love life 3) If you believed the complete opposite of this belief what would that be."
2 Go To Your Local Watering Hole Alone
If you have ever considered going to happy hour, consider going alone. After all, you might run into people from your neighborhood.
Your local eatery or bar might be a great place to meet someone new.
"Find your favorite local watering hole and stop by a happy hour on your way home for a bit, a drink, and some fun conversation," says Julie Spira, online dating expert, digital matchmaker, and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. "Steakhouses are perfect to meet other singles who are hungry and are alone at the bar.” It’s another option to avoid online dating that still lets you meet people locally.
1 Show Up Early When You Are Going Out
If you are supposed to meet your friends out somewhere, then why not show up a little earlier and give yourself the opportunity to check out who’s sitting at the bar? "Twenty minutes is the perfect amount of time to show up early somewhere and have this happen to you too — whether in a bar, restaurant, lobby, anywhere people are. It gives just enough opportunity to either strike up a conversation with a random person, or — worst case scenario — allow you to enjoy a quiet moment to yourself. Best of all, you have a reason for being there. You just 'happened' to arrive a tad early."
Sources: Bustle, Bolde