Often times, ladies can't help but wonder: where’s her Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha, or Carrie? Seriously! Where's her Chandler, Ross, or Joey? The truth is, most people don’t have a social circle nearly as good as these TV friendships.
In fact, sometimes the people a girl calls friends may not be as genuine as she might think they are. But how does anyone figure out who’s got their best interest at heart?
Well, it usually starts with word of mouth. Like, maybe a girl heard that her so-called friend has been talking about her behind her back. Maybe she always knew deep inside that they were the embodiment of a two-faced monster. After all, if they talk so badly about their other friends to her, who’s to say they aren’t doing the same to her when she's not around?
Of course, she may have only recently accepted that the person she considered a BFF was, in fact, a manipulative person who’ll use her to get what they want. Don’t take it personally, though. Some people only care about themselves. But how on Earth can one spot a real friend in a sea of fake ones? This list will guide gals like a compass.
20 At Get Togethers, It's All About Her!
Your true friendship indicator should go on red alert if all they do is talk about themselves. Seriously, ego much? Do they ever take a breather and ask about how you’re doing? Do they start texting while you’re talking? Do they change the subject as soon as you put two words in? What about their eyes? Do they look glazed like a donut when you’re talking?
Chances are they might find you a bit boring, but their narcissistic side kind of enjoys making you listen to every word they say.
It’s probably why they prefer to talk about themselves all the time. A real friend would love to know what's been going on in your life.
19 She Makes Excuses When Friends Call To Hang Out
If a friend bails on a hangout every once in a while, it’s okay. They may simply have a lot on their plate, so it's not a reason to freak out or anything. But if they’re always coming up with an insane reason why they can’t hang out, then I'm sorry to break it to you, but they probably don’t want to spend time with you... at all. Friendship takes effort. We all know it's a two-way street. So, if every time you ask them to go on a fun date or hang out at the mall, they have a long list of excuses, then you owe it to yourself to ask them if there's a reason why they're drifting apart. True friends count every minute of the day until they can finally hang out with their bestie. Just sayin'!
18 All She Does Is Complain And Argue
So, your friend has decided to hang out with you, after all. But now that they’re in front of you, they’re really negative and passive-aggressive. All they do is complain and pick fights over the silliest little things. Are they doing it on purpose? Chances are... they might be!
Maybe they're behaving in such a negative way so that you’ll be the one who’ll end the friendship, so they won’t have to.
But sometimes the anger that fuels their arguing is genuine. Maybe they are mad at you, so they keep pushing your buttons in the hope that you’ll put them out of their misery and ask them if something is wrong. Save yourself the trouble and ask them why they're so irritable.
17 There's Way Too Much Drama Whenever She's Around
Toxic people sweat drama out of their pores. It's like there’s a cloud of darkness and chaos hovering over them, but more often than not, we refuse to see it. We don't want to believe that the same person we used to go on coffee dates with is the same person that's sitting right in front of you. It kind of feels like they're all about arguing and drama. In fact, it seems like they're a magnet for it! In the process, they wind up dragging you into their complicated lives because that’s what toxic people do. You might feel like you're exaggerating things, especially if you used to be really close. But if you don’t break loose early on, you might eventually get dragged in deeper and deeper like quicksand.
16 She Doesn’t Share Anything (It's Like Her Life Is Under Lock And Key!)
Do you find yourself opening up to your BFF, and sharing your deepest, darkest tales? Well, that's only normal. After all, you've been besties since the age of time. But lately, you can't help but notice you're the only one doing all the sharing. When you open up, you demonstrate trust.
If your so-called BFF is no longer sharing anything about their lives, then there’s a good chance they don’t think you're a friend anymore.
Even worse? They might not think you're trustworthy. Of course, there are those who do find it difficult to be open about their feelings. But you can’t be the only one who's sharing everything about their lives while they remain guarded. One-sided friendships don't last long.
15 She Thinks Of Her Friends As Competition
This one really stings! There’s nothing wrong with a little friendly competition, as long as you both come out of it unscathed. But when they’re competing with you for a job promotion or they’re trying to upstage you in the dating department, then you’re in a serious competition with a toxic person. But if your bestie doesn't even stomach the idea of you finding success and doing better than they are, then we've got news for you. That person isn't really much of a friend. A true friend would root for you and be proud of your achievements. There’s no room for jealousy in a healthy friendship.
14 She Lies When She Wants Attention Or Sympathy
Toxic people like attention and what better way to get attention than by lying? So, they’ll come up with a totally exaggerated story about how someone mistreated them, or blow some story completely out of proportion.
Newsflash! Life isn’t easy for anyone.
We all hit a few bumps now and then, and we also encounter some really bad people along the way. But if they’re constantly milking every little negative thing that happened to them in order to get sympathy, then you're not doing yourself a favor by staying in their lives anymore.
13 She Only Wants To Hang Out If She Needs Something
Do you ever feel like you’re being used by your friend? You know, like when they're nice to you all of a sudden, but only when they need a favor? Maybe they need you to drive them to work, or they want you to convince your boss to give them a job. They might even contact you to hang out, but only as a means to relieve their boredom and loneliness. Now, it’s okay to do these favors for a friend, as long as you know that they’re willing to do the same in return. If not, cut them loose.
12 She's Not The Type Of Girl Who'd Help Her Friends Reach Their Goals
It doesn't matter how big or how small your goals are, your so-called friend makes zero effort to show you any kind of emotional support. So you should hardly be surprised by the fact that they’re not doing anything to help you reach your goals and dreams, either.
A good friend knows how to nudge you in the right direction.
They’ll encourage you and contribute in any way they can. If your friend isn’t even motivating you to go after what you want, or they’re discouraging you from pursuing your goals, then you need a new friend. You should also be careful if they’re totally ignoring what you’re doing.
11 She Talks Badly About Friends When They’re Not Around
A true friend would never spread lies about you. So, don’t try to rationalize their bad behavior and try to justify their reasoning. You should definitely be on high alert if they describe you in a condescending way when you're not in the room. If a true bestie truly cared about you, they would respect you whether you’re in the room or not. And when you’re not there, they should be praising the person you are. There’s no excuse for putting someone down in front of others just to look cool among your social circle. If you learn that this is what they’re doing then tell them to take a hike.
10 She Ends Up Telling Friends' Business To Other People
Accidents happen and no matter how many times they pinky swear, they might spill your stories even when you asked them to keep them under lock and key.
But if you’re starting to notice that everyone in town and social media knows everything about you, then you might have a fake friend in your inner circle.
If they’re always saying they’re sorry for accidentally spilling the beans, then it might be time to face the possibility that this was no accident at all. They obviously love to gossip and they don’t care that they’re doing it at your expense. So, if you decide to keep them around, make sure to keep your pertinent info to yourself.
9 When Her Friends Hang Out With Others She Gets Jealous
Friends understand the fact that you’ll want to hang out with other people too. But if all they do is criticize the fact that you’re hanging out with other people, then we've got bad news. A jealous friend is not a friend at all. You’ll undoubtedly drop everything to help them out if they need it, but they shouldn’t get mad just because you enjoy other people's company too. This isn't a competition. There's room in your heart for more than one friend. If your friend is isolating you from the world, then you might have to sit down and set some boundaries.
8 There's Just A Gut Feeling That Something’s Not Right
Trust your gut instincts. You have a sixth sense when it comes to people and if it’s telling you that someone in your circle is totally fake, then there might be a reason for it. Don’t ignore that feeling. Follow it and do some detective work to figure out if your instincts were right all along.
Toxic people give out all sorts of clues, so it shouldn’t take you too long to figure out if they’re authentic or not.
Keep in mind that a good friend livens up a room and your life. A bad friend drains the life out of everything.
7 She Always Finds A Way To Bring Her Friends Down
They’re probably not a good friend if they’re belittling you and bringing you down. But that’s a given. Now some friends do tease each other to a certain degree, but they know when to quit before they take it too far. However, if they’re dumping a bunch of negative energy at you, then it may be time to open your eyes and deal with reality. They might be trying to bring you down to their level. If you feel like all they do is mock you and your life choices, then you may have accidentally become their emotional punching bag. But a true BFF wouldn't use you as an emotional sponge.
6 When Someone Else Is Around She Acts Really Different
Is your friend acting like Jekyll and Hyde? They’re nice to you when you’re alone with them, but whenever you hang out with them in public, they start mocking you or worse! It's like all of a sudden, you've become invisible. They keep you at a safe distance when there are other people around.
At some point, you even check your pulse to make sure you’re not a ghost.
There’s no such thing as a "hidden friend", you know? A true friend would not be ashamed of you, whatsoever. Quite the opposite. They would treat you with the love and kindness you so deserve.
5 She Makes People Feel Like Their Quirks Are Too Much To Handle
So, you’re obsessed with Taylor Swift and can’t stop mumbling her songs. Maybe you like to do a happy dance in public for no reason at all, or you make funny impressions to try to make people laugh. But your friend can’t stand any of the adorable quirks that make you, well... you! They’re annoyed by seemingly everything you do lately, and it’s obvious as the sun in the sky. To make things worse, they want you to stop being "you" all the time. A real friend will never be embarrassed by who you are. They’ll embrace your wackiness in all of its forms whether they’re your BFF or just a friend.
4 She’s Really Needy And It's Driving Her Friends Crazy
A codependent friend is not healthy when it's gotten to the point where neither one of you knows how to function without the other. And lately, they've been texting you all the time, expecting a reply. But when you don’t answer, they get really ticked off. You tell them that you’re busy having dinner with your family or you’re out on a date. But they simply think you're lying or trying to distance yourself from them.
They expect you to put everything on hold to respond to them.
Suddenly, it starts to feel like you’re married to your friend and have to apologize for not giving them enough TLC. A needy friend wouldn’t know what true friendship looks like if it walked up and shook their hand.
3 She Doesn’t Accept Her Friends For Who They Are Deep Inside
A friend will accept you no matter who you are or who you've become. After all, we’re always changing, and our friends are constantly growing up too. But a fake friend will treat you different if you change even the slightest bit because you no longer conform to the norms and expectations they set up for you. So consider yourself lucky if a friend decides to give you the cold shoulder because you suddenly started glamming it up, trying to make new friends, or doing something new and exciting like getting a nose ring.
2 She Wants Her Friends To Always Agree With Everything She Says
Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, and sometimes the best thing to do in an argument is to agree to disagree. But that’s not always enough for your friend. They expect you to agree with them wholeheartedly, or else they’ll make you feel like you're in the wrong. But that’s so high school, and you need to be friends with a mature, stable person.
That way you’ll know if they truly have what it takes to be a genuine loyal friend when you finally disagree on an issue.
Every friendship deals with disagreement at one point or another. But if they stopped talking to you only because you don't share the same views they do, then they weren’t your friends to begin with.
1 She's No Longer Opening Up To Friends Anymore
Your friendship is headed for trouble if they no longer open up to you. But maybe at one point they did, back when you were the best of friends. Now the relationship has taken a major turn and it hurts. You wish you could go back in time and fix whatever caused your rift. Maybe they’ve found a new buddy to confide in, or it could simply mean that they no longer trust you or value you as a friend. But there’s a rare possibility that they might not have anything to share with you. The best thing you can do now is give them their space. Maybe if you ask them if something's wrong, they'll have the guts to express how they're feeling.
Sources: Bustle, Business Insider, Seventeen