Being in a relationship is the ultimate goal for many people. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find "the one" since some people find that they are the happiest when they’re with a partner.
But studies have also shown that some people are actually happier and function better when they’re on their own. And the determination to find a partner at all costs sometimes leads people to start relationships when they really shouldn’t be going down that road.
Even if falling in love is the long-term goal, there are times and phases in life where people are better off riding solo, at least temporarily. If they’re not ready for what being in a relationship actually means, it’s not fair to come to the table unprepared and let down a potential lover.
Sometimes, a girl just has to work a few things out, and that should come before chasing love. Other times, staying single is a challenge that forces her to become emotionally and mentally stronger and see the world in a whole new light. And of course, if she enjoys the single life, all the more power to her.
Check out these twenty signs that she should stay single right now, no matter how much she wants a relationship.
20 She’s Emotionally Unavailable
If you’re not ready to give yourself to someone emotionally, it’s probably better to stay single until you are. That’s not to say that you can’t date and have fun, but in terms of actually committing to someone, staying out of a serious relationship is the way to go.
It’s not a bad thing if you’re not ready to get emotionally attached to someone, but it is questionable when you enter a relationship knowing that the other person is probably expecting the real deal, and you can’t give it to them. Don’t be the Mr. Big of the situation!
19 She Feels Pressured To Date By Her Family
You’re not alone if the only reason you want a relationship is that your family is putting the pressure on. Families tend to do that a lot! That’s especially the case when family members come from older generations and were brought up to believe that the only goal a gal should have in life is to get married and have babies.
There’s a good chance that if your family is pressuring you to find a partner, they just think it will make you happy. But getting into a relationship just because it’s what your family wants isn’t good enough.
18 Keeping Up With Her Friends Is Her Goal
In today’s world, where we share every detail of our lives on social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out. We now have a culture of #couplegoals, which involves people flaunting their relationships online and (intentionally or unintentionally) making others jealous.
So we totally understand wanting to be in a relationship just because all your friends are in them and make them look so great. But again, taking that step in order to keep up with everyone else, or to please everyone else, just won’t end well. You have to want to go down that road for you and nobody else.
17 She’s Still Thinking About Her Last Relationship
It might be worth reconsidering getting into a new relationship if you’re still thinking about your old one. A lot of people think that starting something up with a new person will help them to forget all about the old one, and while brief flings might be okay for that purpose, it’s not really fair on the other person to actually a start a whole new relationship.
Think about it: you probably wouldn’t like it if you were getting serious with someone new, only to find out that they’re still hung up on their ex. Wait until all your old baggage is well and truly out of your way.
16 She Doesn’t Feel Totally Confident
People tend to fall for the trick of getting into a relationship just for a confidence boost. The truth is, though, that if your confidence is going to last, it has to come from something other than being validated by someone liking you enough to go out with you. If you give someone that much power over you, then you’ll probably be crushed if the relationship doesn’t work out.
Nobody feels completely confident all the time, but it’s a good idea to wait until you’re feeling pretty good about yourself already before getting involved with someone else. Don’t leave it up to them to make you feel better.
15 The Dating World Is Making Her Lose Hope
Dating in 2019 is certainly unique. Many singletons can’t stand modern dating for a variety of reasons, and if you fall into that category, it could be a good idea to pull out of it for a while. The truth is that dating can be tough, and that was the case before we had apps where someone could reject you with a swipe and trends like ghosting and fishing.
If it’s getting your spirits down, there’s no harm in taking a break. Even if your long-term goal is to find the one, keep in mind that there’s plenty of time for everything to fall into place. You don’t have to rush into a relationship that’s not good for you because you want to get out of the dating pool.
14 She’s Enjoying The Freedom She Has
Being single has a bad reputation, but it actually comes with a lot of perks that people tend to forget about when they’re feeling sorry for themselves because nobody gave them a rose on Valentine’s Day. If you’re on your own, nobody’s giving you roses, but also, nobody’s telling you what to do.
There’s no one else to consider when you make the big decisions about things like travel and moving and taking on a new job. Freedom is perhaps the biggest benefit that comes with not being tied down, and if you’re loving it right now, why tie yourself down?
13 And She’s Loving Serial Dating
The other upside to being single is the excitement of dating a lot of different people. Sometimes this is disheartening, and some would rather trade the lifestyle in for something more stable. But others love serial dating, and if you do, you should keep doing it until you find someone who makes you want to stop.
It’s never been as socially acceptable to date around as it is right now, so all the power to you if you’re having fun meeting new people. If Tinder and Bumble are your playgrounds, stay and enjoy yourself while you have the opportunity to.
12 Boredom Is Bothering Her
One thing that’s never a good idea is getting into a new relationship just because you’re bored. There are other ways to get out of a rut! By all means, get Tinder out or make a new habit of frequenting bars and clubs every weekend if your life needs some spicing up. Socialize more than you ever have before, go to new places, and try things you haven’t tried before.
But we wouldn’t recommend actually taking it to the level of committing to being in a real relationship with someone else if you’re only there because you need something to do.
11 There’s Nobody She’s Interested In Dating
If there’s nobody you’re interested in, then there’s nobody you’re interested in. What can you do? While you can feel frustrated and helpless when you want to be in love but haven’t met anyone you’re attracted to, try to resist the temptation of getting involved with the next person who comes along.
We’ve all been there, where you feel like having anybody there is better than having nobody there, but it really isn’t. If you start a relationship with someone who’s not right for you, you’re going to be distracted when the person who is right for you shows up.
10 She Doesn’t Like Telling People She’s Single
As we said, being single gets a bad reputation sometimes. People might assume you’re lonely or unhappy because you don’t have a partner, so it’s understandable that you don’t like to shout it from the rooftops that you’re still flying solo. But in our humble opinion, that’s something you should seek to overcome before you ditch the single life.
Because the truth is being single is only sad if you allow it to be. It simply means that you haven’t found someone worth committing to. It means that you have the confidence to stand alone and rely on your own validation. Own that!
9 There Are Personal Goals She Needs To Work On
We’re not saying that you have to choose between being in a relationship and achieving other goals in life. It’s a great era because we’re finally realizing that women can have jobs and be wives and moms too. That said, relationships take work. If you have other goals, they’ll probably take work too. And there’s only one of you and twenty-four hours in a day.
If love falls into your lap, you don’t have to turn it away to work on reaching a goal weight or getting promoted. But if it doesn’t, use the time you have to yourself to actually get things done rather than relentlessly pursue a relationship. Juggling isn’t as easy as it looks.
8 She Expects Perfection
If you’re expecting to fall in love with the perfect person, you’re probably not ready for a relationship and should stay single until you are. Sadly, perfection doesn’t exist. Everyone you date is going to have some kind of flaw. But that doesn’t mean they won’t be a great partner.
Love is about accepting people’s imperfections and loving them in spite of them, or better still, because of them. There’s nothing wrong with having standards and you shouldn’t apologize for whom you’re attracted to. Just know that if you only accept perfection, there will be no one to accept.
7 Commitment Still Worries Her
Fear of commitment is a thing. After all, promising yourself to someone else, even if it’s only for right now, is a pretty big deal. There’s no need to be ashamed if you’re reluctant to make that promise. The best thing to do is to simply ride solo until you are ready to commit. Of course you can date, but be open with your dates about what you’re prepared to do and not prepared to do so nobody is led on.
If you picture yourself ending up with someone, eventually you’ll probably have to deal with your feelings about commitment sooner or later.
6 She Isn’t Ready To Put In The Effort
Relationships can be as good as they say they are, but that never comes without work. Joining two lives and two different personalities together is fun, but it takes effort and persistence. If you’re not ready to put in that effort, that’s fine, but you can’t expect to have a healthy and happy relationship in return.
There’s nothing wrong with liking your commitment-free lifestyle that doesn’t feature demands from a partner, and if you’re still at the stage where you prefer to put your time into things other than your love life, keep it that way. You do you!
5 Every Week, Almost, She Has A New Boyfriend
Surprisingly, needing to be in a relationship all the time is actually a sign that you should stay single for a while. If you are always bouncing to and from different relationships, it could be because you’re lucky enough to keep stumbling across people who are totally right for you.
The more likely scenario, though, is that you don’t know how, or are afraid, to be on your own. That’s why you need nothing more than to be on your own, so you can see it’s not as bad as you think it is and realize that you can do it.
4 She Doesn’t Know How To Communicate Properly
Communication is one of the biggest pillars of every relationship. If you have no idea how to talk things through with a significant other and get your point across in a healthy way, you might want to think about staying single until you do know.
Not knowing how to communicate will make a relationship extremely hard and will probably bring about a lot of pain for both you and the other person. It’s a good idea to practice voicing your ideas and feelings and also take on board what other people have to say before you seek out a serious long-term relationship.
3 Nothing Else In Her Life Is In Place
A relationship can be amazing, but it’s not a fairy godmother. If your life is falling apart in other areas, it won’t suddenly be okay just because you’ve got a partner—even though a lot of people seem to believe that it will!
That’s why if you’re having trouble finding someone you actually want to be with but you’ve also got other issues to address, you should focus on those issues and let the pursuit of love take a back seat. It’s never your job to rescue someone else, and it should never be someone else’s job to rescue you.
2 She’s Lost Herself
There’s something very magical about the idea of being a lost soul and finding your way home again through someone else’s love. Unfortunately, it’s magical because it’s not realistic. If you lose yourself and don’t know who you are or what you’re doing, you should sort all of that out before you get seriously involved with anyone else.
Don’t define yourself by who you’re with or what kinds of things your lover is interested in. If you’re not your own person, regardless of whether you’re with someone or not, we recommend fixing that before bringing someone else into your life.
1 She Believes She Needs A Partner To Start Living
Some people are tempted to start up a relationship because they think that without one, they can’t live life to the fullest. It’s true that there are certain tasks that may be more daunting as a solo act, like traveling or attending parties.
But amazing things can come out of doing things like that on your own. You really never know what could happen or who you could meet if you follow your heart wherever it takes you without worrying about who’s standing by your side. The world is waiting for you, and it doesn’t care whether you’re single or not.