You're a ways in to the relationship and you're starting to wonder if your boyfriend's parents hate you. But how can you tell? Some days you catch his mother grumbling about you on the phone, but maybe she's having a bad day. Other times you've witnessed his father praising his ex-girlfriend in front of you, but maybe he is just being nice. Little actions like this can be hard to decipher and can leave you scratching your head. The Huffington Post wrote in an article about the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that if the two don't learn to get along, the broken relationship can go on to negatively affect the entirety of the relationship between her son and daughter-in-law—eventually leading it to its death. So if you're lost and need help in translating his parent's actions to fix the problems, most of these signs can be a definite indication that your boyfriend's parents probably don't like you.
20 They Don't Include You In Family Pictures
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You started out as the new girlfriend who takes the family Christmas pictures, but now it's three years in and you're still stuck taking the family photos. It's okay every once in a while to take the pictures for your bae's family, but when it's every single time, then you should start to worry. Chances are, they don't want photographic evidence that you were ever a part of their family. Next time you have to hold the camera, ask to get a picture with his sister or parents so you feel more involved. They might like you taking the initiative.
19 They Talk About Your Boyfriend's Ex In Front Of You
You know your boyfriend dated his ex-girlfriend for a while and she was close with his family. What's even more disquieting is when you notice his parents talk about her all of the time—right in front of you. It's a glaring indication that his parents are still obsessing over his ex-girlfriend. In this position, you want to change their minds and make them see all of the positive aspects of your personality. Spend more time with his family and plan intimate outings. Ignore their ex chatter and act like it doesn't bother you. Go the extra mile and ask about her.
18 They Can't Remember Your Name
When you really enjoy someone's presence, you'll most likely remember their name or who they were. One sign that his parents definitely hate you is they won't remember who you are. This is when his parents refer to you as, “that one girl” or “her.” Obviously, they have no intention of keeping you in their thoughts and would rather forget you even exist in their son's life. To turn the tables and make a really shocking impression, use their name when talking to them and remember little details about their lives. They'll come to appreciate how much you remember.
17 You're The Reason He Doesn't Call Home
Many girlfriends have heard it before, the infamous “You're spending too much time with her, so much that you haven't called home in a while.” Just because your boyfriend sucks at communicating doesn't mean it's your fault. But if his parents are constantly complaining to him about you keeping him away from home, odds are they really don't like you and are looking for a reason to boot you out of their lives. Bug your boyfriend to visit or call home routinely. Once they see you aren't the source of the problem, they might come to respect you after the fact.
16 His Parents Won't Let Their Guards Down
It's normal for first-time meetings to be uncomfortable between you and his parents. They don't know anything about you and you are the person he's spending most of his time with. They will be analyzing every single detail about you. But after time passes, if they still don't warm up to your presence, then they are holding back for a reason. Either they don't trust you enough or have no intention of keeping you in their lives. Start to get to know them better and ask questions about their interests. Maybe that will help his parents warm up to you.
15 Your Achievements Are Never Enough
It's normal for a mother or father to brag about their son's achievements. And as time goes on and you get closer to his parents, they'll learn to brag about you, too. But if you find yourself still trying to impress his parents long after the relationship has begun, something's up. It might seem like they don't want to believe you are capable of doing great things or accomplishing your goals. To change their opinion, try to casually mention something great you did that day. Or ask about their accomplishments so it opens a window to shine light on yours.
14 They Constantly Question Your Career Path
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In the hilarious and memorable film, Meet The Parents, Greg was constantly teased for taking on the career of a nurse practitioner. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it's fair to say your boyfriend's parents do not respect you as a person or what you have chosen to do with your life. When conversing with his parents, tell them heart-warming stories from your day at work and ways you may have made an impact. Or even stories about how hard your job might be. They might learn to respect your career and what you do for a living.
13 You're Not Invited
Family events are very intimate gatherings and most feel honored to be invited to such events. If you find you are constantly being left out of these cozy gatherings, it sounds like you aren't a part of the inner circle. His parents don't want you to meet the rest of the family because they don't like you. Rather than inviting yourself to the events, casually ask, “if there's anything I can do to help” or if it's someone's birthday party, ask your boyfriend to bring a present from you. Hopefully in the future they'll consider inviting you to a gathering.
12 He Doesn't Want To Introduce You
Meeting your boyfriend's parents is an important event, but if he keeps making up excuses for you not to meet, you should be suspicious. If he's as genuine as you think, then he might be trying to shield you from his parents' animosity. Regardless of how they developed this strong hatred, whether it was the result of hours of in-depth social media stalking or dissecting your boyfriend's details about you, the situation is still in its early stages. All you have to do is officially meet his parents and change their minds; don't let his parents' initial judgments scare you.
11 They Have A Cold Attitude
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It'll be immediately noticeable if his parents are tense and display a frigid attitude toward you. They might not smile around you, make cold comments or talk negatively about you behind your back. Try complimenting his parents on a daily basis, or take notice of things they may have spent a lot of time doing. Offer to do things together or plan special events so they can learn to enjoy the loving side of you. All you can do is continue to show kindness in the presence of their coldness and hope that one day the ice is melted away.
10 They Won't Trust You With Simple Tasks
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There comes a time in a relationship when the parents can trust their son's girlfriend to do things like watch their cat or babysit for a couple hours. If you're far into the relationship and still haven't been entrusted with these opportunities, you should start asking questions. It sounds like his parents don't like you enough to trust you with such simple tasks. If you want to change their minds, drop subtle hints that showcase how great you are with kids, or that you absolutely adore animals. You want to show them you are ready and capable of their trust.
9 You Are Left Out Of Family Jokes
Family inside jokes hold a family together and are a means of nostalgia. In the presence of someone new, it's common courtesy to laugh about it and explain the story behind the joke—because it's probably a pretty humorous story. But if his family purposefully keeps you out of the joke and doesn't explain why it's so funny, it might be smart to start wondering why. You can always ask about the joke. This makes them have to tell you the story. But if you aren't aggressive, laugh along and don't let it be apparent that being left out bothers you.
8 His Brothers And Sisters Spill The Beans
Kids say the darnedest things, right? When your bae has younger brothers and sisters, they might repeat painfully truthful things that they've heard their parents say out of your earshot. It could be as truthful as, “Why doesn't mommy like you?” or something more cloaked like, “Daddy says you show off your melons too much. What kinds of melons do you have? I really like watermelon!” When it comes to kids, saying the least is probably best. Or just change the subject completely. Take advantage of short attention spans. Then you can think about what to do with the information.
7 His Parents Have Said “We Don't Like You”
You might overhear your boyfriend's mom on the phone or they might say it to your face. If for some reason his parents openly admit they don't like you, take it very seriously. But instead of getting angry, ask them why and if there's any way you can change their thoughts or feelings. Obviously, there was something that caused them to think so negatively of you. Find out what it was and work to change their opinions. Keeping the attitude that you don't care what they think is wrong, because they could come to affect the outcome of your relationship.
6 His Mom Invites His Ex-Girlfriend Over To Visit
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This is probably one of the most uncomfortable situations you can find yourself in with a new boyfriend. If his mother and ex-girlfriend got along incredibly well, chances are they will still talk. But when she invites the ex-girlfriend over when you are visiting, then you can safely assume she's out for blood. Don't let her win; keep your cool and act like it doesn't bother you at all. Chat in a friendly manner and ask the ex questions like you're interested. Who knows, you may end up liking her and then his mother will be the one feeling uncomfortable.
5 They Try To Force You To Go To Church
So you aren't a church-goer and your boyfriend's family probably has some thoughts about that. They despise the fact that you stay home in bed while they all attend mass. If one of his parents approaches you and asks you to repent or accept Jesus Christ into your heart, they probably think you need to be saved or reintroduced to religion. You could look at this as they are looking out for you. Or it's possible they think you are severely misguided or headed down the wrong path. If it's the latter, they probably don't think very highly of you.
4 His Parents Avoid Speaking Directly To You
This is an odd sort of behavior. Many times when his parents aren't comfortable with you, they won't speak directly to you. They will ask your boyfriend questions about you rather than ask you directly. They will laugh and joke with your boyfriend, but usually leave you out of it. This might be a sign they want nothing to do with you. Actions like this can make things very awkward. To break the awkwardness, ask them questions directly and speak directly to them to force them to give you attention. Joke with them casually to make them feel at ease.
3 They Never Speak Of A Wedding
It's pretty clear his parents don't like you when you bring up the subject of getting married and they change the subject rapidly. It's obvious at this point that talking about getting married makes them very uncomfortable. This is a definite sign they don't see you being with their son long-term or that you're not “the one.” This will take some serious investigation to find the root of their dislike and how you can work to change that. This might be a good time to ask your boyfriend what you could do differently to make a positive impact on them.
2 They Don't Share Food
You might think that sharing food with your boyfriend's parents is pretty strange. But sharing food is a sign of being comfortable with someone else. Sharing food can be as simple as eating out of the same bag of chips. When his parents watch you eat and don't eat with you, it's possible that they aren't comfortable around you. A study done at the University of Antwerp in Belgium found that sharing food naturally brings out everyone's social side. So if his parents aren't sharing food with you, either they aren't social or don't want to be social with you.
1 You Can't Make Them Laugh
If you're a naturally funny person and have an easy time making people laugh, you would think that making your boyfriend's parents laugh is easy. But if they aren't even smiling after one of your jokes, there's a good chance they don't care for you—or your goofy antics. If making jokes isn't resting well with them, try a different approach. Compliment them or ask them questions about what they do. Make it seem as if you are truly interested in who they are as people. Once you have won their respect, then maybe you can start cracking your jokes again.
Sources: collegetimes.com, datingadvice.com, time.com, huffingtonpost.com
