No woman wants to have her heart broken when her partner says he wants to break up. Break ups are often messy and sad, and hearing that a relationship is ending is difficult. However, there can be something even worse — a guy who isn't brave enough to end things, so he simply sabotages the relationship with horrible behavior.
There are men who are so afraid to break up with someone that they will do anything to get women to break up with them. Some feel like this is how they can avoid being considered bad guys, but any woman who has been on the receiving end of this behavior knows it's just as bad, if not worse, than having someone honestly just end a relationship.
It's important to know what behaviors are signs that he wants out but just isn’t brave enough to pull the plug. A woman stuck in a relationship with a man who is acting horribly has to decide if she wants to confront him or simply end things herself and save herself from the drama.
It’s normal for every relationship to have ups and downs, but if a guy regularly exhibits the following behaviors, things are not going well, and they probably won’t change for the better.
20 He Doesn't Say I Love You Anymore
It's true that some guys just aren't as verbally affectionate as others. However, if those three all-important little words have been uttered and now they are no longer said, that's a bad sign.
A man who is ready for things to end is going to withdraw in more ways than one, and holding back on the "I love yous" is one sign that he is already gone.
Though he may not be brave enough to actually say he wants out of the relationship, withdrawing verbal assurance of love is a way to make his partner doubt his feelings and get insecure about the relationship. Some guys hope this will be enough to make their partners end things.
19 He Talks About The Challenges Of Monogamy
A guy who doesn’t want to stay in a relationship may try to imply it’s just too difficult. The practice of monogamy is not something he can manage, even if he really, really wants to be committed to his girl! This is a red flag that he is already thinking of getting out, but would prefer his girlfriend be the one to end it. He’s even giving her a reason: He can’t commit.
If a guy shows you who he is, believe him. His words are telling what his actions are about to demonstrate, which is that he can’t handle a one-on-one commitment.
18 He Openly Checks Out Other Ladies
Of course, there are tons of good-looking ladies and fine gentlemen in the world. Just because we enter into a relationship doesn’t mean we can’t see. However, showing respect to a partner means not openly gaping at other attractive people.
If a guy starts doing this, he has checked out of the relationship and is probably waiting for it to end.
A guy who is already checking out who else is out there in the dating pool can’t have his heart set on the one he’s with, especially even he doesn’t respect his girlfriend enough to stop this behavior. It’s rude, and it’s usually a sign that things are ending, one way or the other.
17 He Talks About Being Hard To Pin Down
A guy who likes to brag about his inability to be pinned down is usually not looking to commit. If this guy was previously pretty committed but now brags about his wandering ways, there's a problem.
This is a verbal cue that is meant to express his unwillingness to settle down in the relationship he's currently in, even if he's not brave enough to actually end it.
A guy who knows that a girl is looking for commitment will be especially likely to use this in order to push her away. If he says he's not ready and he knows she is, he thinks he's leaving her no choice but to end things.
16 He Tells Her She Deserves Better
This phrase is tricky because it sounds so sweet. What woman doesn’t want to hear that she’s so amazing her man doesn’t even think he deserves her?
The problem with this statement is that a good guy who wants to stay around will find a way to be the right man, earning his partner's respect in the process.
The wrong one will simply say he isn’t good enough for her and wait for her to realize that truth as well. Pushing a guy who makes this statement can help get to the bottom of the situation quickly. What does he think his girlfriend deserves that she’s not getting? Why can’t he fix his issues and be the one to offer her what she needs? When he doesn’t have answers, it’s obvious he’s on his way out the door.
15 He Breaks Plans
We make time for what ‘s important. Being too busy isn’t an excuse for bailing on plans because none of us are too busy to do the things we really want to do.
When a guy starts cancelling plans, he may be sending a sign that he doesn’t value the relationship anymore. If he did, what could be more important than showing up for his partner?
A guy who doesn’t want to have to say the break up words and who isn’t quite ready to totally ghost a girl will often just remove himself from plans and dates so his girlfriend will get frustrated and end things.
14 He's Making Decisions Without Her
Not every decision a couple makes has to be made together, but at a certain point in the relationship both people should be talking about major life decisions before any are finalized.
A guy who talks about moving across the country, taking a job someplace new, or altering his life plan without talking to his partner first wants out of the relationship.
A woman shouldn’t have to ask whether or not she’s included in these major plans. Her partner should be discussing them with her before they are ever made so she can veto future endeavors that don’t work for both people.
13 He Has An Attitude
Are you feeling an unsupportive vibe? Does it feel like he is picking apart everything you do or say to pick a fight? He doesn't want to be with you anymore and is going to make you both completely miserable in the process until you pull the plug.
When it feels like the fun is gone and every day brings a new fight, he is unhappy and doesn't know how to pull the plug on everyone's torture. It's fair to confront him and ask what his problem is, but know that he will probably just continue to be exceptionally rude about normal things until you end it.
12 He's Not Affectionate
Not every guy's love language is physical touch. Some people are more comfortable with affectionate displays than others.
There is usually a problem, though, when a guy who previously showed affection no longer does. Pulling away physically means he's pulling away, period.
Giving a woman the cold shoulder is one way to push her away and make her question the relationship. It's painful to be shut out of physical touch, and it can effectively cause a woman to end a relationship without the guy having to do more than just withhold. For most guys, it’s easy to stop physically connecting with a woman when they want out because they are already emotionally disconnected.
11 He Won't Commit To Future Plans
Want to talk about the future, but your guy has nothing to say on the subject? That's a problem. If he's reluctant to even make dinner plans with his girlfriend in advance, he's no longer interested.
What's even worse is when he is talking about the future but his girlfriend is not in it. A guy who doesn't want to talk about what the future relationship looks like is hinting that he's not planning on being in the relationship for much longer. He's just hoping these hints will make his girlfriend end things so he can go on with his solo plans.
10 His Friends Don't Talk To You
It’s a bad sign when a guy’s friends suddenly don’t have much to say to his girlfriend anymore. The friends may act distant, nervous, or afraid to say too much because of what they know, which is that the guy wants the relationship to end.
It’s cowardly to talk to other people about relationship problems without letting the other partner in the relationship know what is happening. However, guys will vent to their friends when they aren’t invested anymore, and this puts the friends in the awkward position of playing dumb until things finally end. This can be especially difficult if the girlfriend was once close to these friends.
9 You Have A Bad Feeling
No woman wants to feel like she’s paranoid, but most know when something is definitely wrong. It’s easy to try to ignore that little voice that says our guy is no longer in love with us, but eventually that horrible feeling won’t go away and we have to face the facts. What’s difficult is when a guy won’t just go ahead and end the relationship because it leaves his girl wondering if she is crazy, paranoid, or both.
A woman doesn’t need to doubt her intuition. If something feels wrong, it probably is, and if a man suddenly changes his behavior, there is a reason.
Trust the gut instinct.
8 He Is Available For Everyone But You
Does he help his friends move, stay late at work, and always answer the phone when his mom calls? If so, he sounds considerate, but if he doesn't show up for his girlfriend, then his availability for everyone else could signal a problem.
A guy who is always there for everyone else but mysteriously unavailable when it comes to his intimate relationship isn't too committed. We make time for what we want to, and if he isn't making time for his partner, that's a choice and a sign that he can live without her. By staying away from her and around everyone else, he's likely hoping she will take the hint without him needing to say anything.
7 He Ignores Important Dates
Not every couple makes big plans for anniversaries or holidays, and some people request low-key birthday celebrations. This is an okay arrangement as long as the dates are at least acknowledged. When a man starts ignoring important dates, not even giving them a mention, there’s reason to worry.
We remember and acknowledge what we choose, and even someone who is horrible with dates can write important days down on a calendar so he doesn't miss them. A guy who won't put in the effort, especially if he was willing to before, is not interested in celebrating the relationship any longer.
6 He Doesn't Want To Talk
Loquaciousness is not a requirement for a solid relationship. Some people talk less than others, and research shows that women use more words than men anyway.
Still, no matter how introverted someone is, verbal communication with a partner is sacred. A complete communication shut-down is a problem.
If approached about what is wrong, a man may say nothing is wrong and then continuse to give his partner the cold shoulder. By not sharing his feelings or the problems he’s having, he is signaling that it’s not worth it to him to work on it. He simply wants the relationship to be over.
5 He Focuses On The Negative About The Relationship
Every relationship has its negative aspects. No two people are perfectly compatible. However, in good relationships both partners choose to focus on the positive and try to fix the parts that aren’t as strong. W
hen a man resorts to just complaining about what is wrong without any focus on the good, it can mean he doesn’t see any good anymore.
By making a laundry list of all the things that aren’t working, he’s hoping to draw his partner’s attention to the bad so she can see for herself that things should end. It’s a bummer to be surrounded by constant negativity and can push anyone away.
4 He Makes You Feel Lonely, Even When He's Around
One benefit of being in a healthy relationship is not feeling lonely. Two people don’t have to be together all the time, and time away from each other is good for any couple, but good relationships tend to mean neither partner feels abandoned or lonely. If a woman feels lonely even when her partner is sitting right next to her, that’s a bad sign.
Besides physically pulling away, a man may emotionally and mentally shut down to signal he’s checked out of the relationship.
A woman will find that even after time with this person she feels like he wasn’t really there, and she may wonder why they are even together if she feels lonely. That’s what he’s hoping she will think, and then it will be on her to end things.
3 He's Sharing TMI With Other People About Your Relationship
Respect is important in every relationship, and when it comes to intimate relationships that means respecting boundaries on what information is shared. A guy should not be sharing intimate details about his partner, and if he is, it may mean he isn't invested in the relationship any longer.
Otherwise, he would be thinking about how the information he's sharing could negatively impact his relationship if his girlfriend finds out.
A guy may sabotage a relationship using this method, spilling personal information to outside sources so it will get back to his girlfriend, who will then be irate and ready to pull the plug on the partnership.
2 Without Your Input, Communication Wouldn't Exist
Getting the silent treatment? Feel like all you do is ask questions while he gives one-word answers? Do you send texts and never get responses? Are you always the one to pick up the phone and call him? These aren't good signs. A guy who acts like he doesn't need you around and can do just fine without communicating is ready to break up.
He may be hoping that if he doesn't reach out first, his girlfriend will simply get tired of doing all the work and the relationship will end on its own.
This isn't how adults should end relationships, but it's common now that people can screen calls and ignore anyone they want.
1 He Tries To Steer You In Directions That Don't Include Him
It's great to have a man who wants his partner to pursue her own interests. He shouldn't expect her to plan her life around his every move. However, when a guy starts to encourage his partner to take that job in another state, pursue that college across the country, or invest herself in something he won't be including himself in, there's a problem.
This could be his way of getting out of the relationship while still trying to look altruistic at the same time.
Encouraging a partner to pursue their own interests can still involve staying a couple, but if that's not what a guy sounds like he's recommending, he's looking for an easy way out of the relationship.