There comes a time in every relationship where couples seem to take a collective breather when both members of a duo realize they don't have to perform the rituals of an "early" relationship; your bae no longer seems to mind if you're not wearing make-up and he doesn't think twice about a date night spent hanging out at home! There are so many countless milestones couples experience when they have been together for a while, but a long-term relationship still holds some "terms" couples should still keep on their collective radar!
A long-term relationship comes with many benefits; couples get into a comfortable routine and begin to establish a life together, and it's understandable for established pairs to begin eyeballing the future! The future requires tons of preparation and even the couples with the most longevity have to continue donating the time and energy to make their relationships work. Even if the relationship seems cool and comfortable, it's important to keep an eye open to see if your guy is starting to feel comfortable enough in your relationship to the point where you're feeling stagnant.
As the song says, love can be a battlefield, and it's important to know when to draw a line in the sand. If you've begun to notice signs your guy is in love with being in love, but he seems to be lacking the love for building a solid foundation for the future, read on to see some signs he isn't ready for eternal commitment!
20 He Dodges 'Big' Questions
When you've been with your partner for a period of time, sometimes communication gets to the point where it doesn't feel cute any longer.
Longer time spent with your love may begin to mean changes in your love language; the longer you two are together, the more likely your conversational topics will venture into a serious space. He may be comfortable with your relationship now, but he may be wanting to be frugal with the future!
The thought of moving forward in your relationship may seem daunting. Ask your partner straight up how he's feeling; honesty is the hottest policy!
19 It's In His Language
Trying to dissect communication within your relationship can be serious, but some elements of communication can be subtle. If we suspect something is wrong in our relationship, it's normal to search for hidden meaning in everything he's saying, but sometimes the way he uses his words can be rather simple. If you notice he's using more "filler words" in conversation, it can be a clue he's feeling hesitant to move forward in your relationship.
"Filler words" can be words like "Um" or "like." While it's natural to use them in conversation, they can be seen as a sign of hesitation!
18 Romance Becomes Routine
Having your go-to couples activity which brings you both joy is a way to keep your relationship happy and healthy, of course! But there are aspects of a well-established routine which can serve as signs of a red flag if your partner starts to seem a little too comfortable.
It may seem silly to look deeply into your partner's love for Sunday brunch, but if he refuses to switch your breakfast date to a Saturday, it can be a symbol of reluctance to embrace change! The future can bring lots of change, so he may have some thoughts to rearrange!
17 Both Of You Stop Daydreaming
When you meet the guy of your dreams, it's perfectly normal to find yourself daydreaming about your lives together! From walking down the aisle to daydreaming of picking paint colors for your home, daydreaming can be delicious!
On a more serious note, mutually having hopes and dreams about your relationship can be an integral part of your relationship. If you begin to notice the dreaming has stopped, this can be a subtle sign there may not be a future for the two of you.
Even the most long-term relationships can't move forward if there aren't elements of fun and flirtation!
16 Couple Activities Become Solo Activities
You may remember the line, "it takes two to make a thing go right..." from this classic tune, and it's true when applied to relationships. One of the biggest signs your relationship may venture into rocky territory is if you begin to notice two slowly becoming one within elements of your relationship!
Actions speak louder than words if you notice your guy stops participating in activities which were previously deemed activities for the both of you. Your routine as a couple will change the longer you're together, so his reception can be telling for how he'll treat your future routines.
15 He Only Responds When It's Absolutely Necessary
Texting can feel tricky during all stages of a relationship, but some conversational quirks can go from "okay" to "k" really quickly! Early on in a relationship, it's common to want to text your new man every minute of every day, but chances are, you two are over it. If you notice you're being left on "read" more often, it may be a sign of boredom or something more.
Take your conversations from text to IRL communication if he doesn't text you back more than he absolutely has to. Texting your partner is still communication, so bring on the emojis!
14 'We' Becomes 'Me'
your friends can be just as fundamental to your longterm relationship as the two of you! When you're in a longterm relationship, chances are your friend group consists of mutual and longterm pals and your hangout sessions are as important as solo couple dates.
The good feeling of your friend dates may venture to the wayside if your relationship begins to feel rancid. Next time you're out with your friends, pay attention to the way your man speaks about your relationship; are you hearing more "we" or "he" in his vocabulary?
His word choices can be extremely worthy to note!
13 He Becomes Obsessed With Timelines
The thought of a timeline in any context can feel intimidating. When you adopt the idea you must follow certain rules in life in order to be successful, it may feel extremely intimidating and uncomfortable!
In a longterm relationship, it can be common to continuously be questioned about the direction of your relationship; from your family asking when he'll put a ring on it, to whispers about starting your own family, the questions seem limitless!
Timelines can also venture inside of your relationship. If your man begins to pressure you into big commitments before you're ready, please let him know!
12 His Sweetness Has Soured
Having the expectation that your relationship must always be positive and your partner must be in a good mood in order for your relationship to be successful can spell trouble from the beginning; accepting the idea your relationship will endure some rainy days and your man won't always have a smile on his face, is key for a solid relationship foundation!
However, if you start to notice your normally sweet and sensitive dude begins to transform into someone new, he may be in search of something new.
Have a discussion about direction with your dude to assess what comes next!
11 He Stops Asking About Your Friends
The Spice Girls once sang "if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends," and truer words have never been spoken!
If your guy no longer seems to be down with your girls after a longtime friendship, he may be breaking up with them first before he starts the process of breaking up with you.
Pay attention to him if he begins to decline invites to your girl gang hangs, and consider hanging out with him and his guys; your suspicions may not mean a thing, but it doesn't hurt to be proactive with your instinctual feelings!
10 Your Fights Go From Mundane To Mad
If you find yourself feeling less than perfect when thinking about fighting with your partner, you're not alone! Of course, any type of fight with your guy is far from ideal, but some types of fights are easier to endure than others.
Fighting about something more on the mundane side can be positive; it's a sign you're comfortable with each other enough to establish a life together, but a major warning side can present itself if you start noticing your fights are becoming more ferocious. If you're unable to break up your fights, it's time to take some relationship stock!
9 His Laziness Levels Become Craziness
Putting effort within your relationship is extremely vital! When you show your partner you care, it's a sign of respect for the life you've created!
There are many signs your relationship status may start becoming stagnant, but a surefire clue happens if your dude starts slowing down on the effort scale. Whether it can be seen in the way he maintains your shared space, to whether he stops showering you with basic affections, it's a sign he may not care about bringing the future into fruition. These signs must be addressed, stat! Never forget you're worthy of love and respect!
8 Say 'Bye Contact' To Eye Contact
When you think about eye contact, it's easy to forget it's more than just giving your partner a look! Maintaining eye contact is a sign you're listening to him and you value him and his presence in your life.
Breaking eye contact can be the result of multiple reasons, but one reason may be more important than the others; he may be contemplating a particularly difficult thought, and it could be one he isn't ready to discuss.
If your Romeo is repeatedly breaking your gaze, gently confront him. It could be a sign the two of you need to talk!
7 You Catch Yourself Wandering
It's normal to occasionally feel bored in a longterm relationship, but one sign you absolutely shouldn't ignore is if you find yourself repeatedly wishing for something new.
If you can't shake the feeling of wondering what it would be like if you were spending your life with a new guy, it may be a sign you may truly need to invest in the future, but for yourself, instead of sharing it with the longtime piece of your life's puzzle. Considering putting the breaks on your relationship now can minimize hurting in the future for you both. Take care of yourself!
6 Conversations Are No Longer Cute
When you're in a longterm relationship, you've shared so much life with one another, it's really easy for everything in your relationship to be mutual. When you've spent many a season in a relationship, it's easy to develop a shared sense of communication; you've become so close you can read each other's minds!
Knowing exactly what your guy is thinking can be cute for a while, but when you begin dreading his next thought or action, this situation isn't likely to fix itself in the future. This may be proof the relationship was only meant to last for a season.
5 He Takes Retail Therapy Literally
There's nothing wrong with wanting to pay the mall a visit when we're feeling blue; the idea of retail therapy can be extremely true! When you're in a serious relationship, there's a chance the two of you may be making the serious choice to share financial responsibilities. When both of you are jointly walking down the aisle of the mall, it isn't difficult to notice when your shared finances suddenly take a nosedive.
Your guy may be shopping a lot more in order to distract himself. Make shopping a couple's activity; sharing the experience could bring you two closer together!
4 You Can't Remember Your Last Date
When the two of you have extremely busy schedules, it can be irritating to hear when people ask you about your dating life! Even though it can be hard, making time for the two of you is vital for your relationship's growth.
If you're having trouble remembering the last time you had a date night, it could be for a number of reasons. From busy schedules to matters more on the more serious side, mandating a weekly date night can vastly improve your relationship! Creating whimsical date ideas will knock any "long-term" aspects of your relationship out of the park!
3 He Stops Saying 'ILY'
Telling your partner "I love you" can be done in a number of ways of course, but it's always nice to hear the words "I love you" every once in a while!
If your man stops saying "I love you," it doesn't necessarily mean he's fallen out of love with you, but it could mean he needs a refresher on the reasons why he loves you. Longterm relationships can easily make the little things within a relationship accidentally fall by the wayside.
If subtle reminders of love don't help, it may be a stronger sign he's ready to move on!
2 He Becomes A Jerk About Your Quirks
Feeling settled in a longterm relationship feels occasionally boring, but there is no excuse for your dude to treat you poorly! If you notice your guy has begun to point out quirks or aspects of your personality he had previously praised, it could be a sign he's no longer invested in your relationship enough to foster a future!
Address your guy's sudden points if they become hurtful. Having a partner who doesn't appreciate your greatness and your unique personality, means your relationship may be D.O.A. Worry not; there are plenty of dudes who will invest in you and your future!
1 He Refuses To Repair Your 'Pair' Status
Friends' Ross and Rachel go through many relationship aspects through the series' ten seasons, but one of their most memorable arcs was the famous "We were on a break" saga!
Ross and Rachel experience lots of ups and downs and eventually repair their relationship, but as relatable as Friends can be, relationships don't always have the same staying power.
If you and your guy continuously experience rough relationship waters and you feel as if he no longer cares about making the minimal effort into repairing your relationship, cut the cord! Your future is bright because it belongs to you, girl!
References: Thoughtco, Psychology Today