You can tell a lot about a guy from the state of his home. So, going there for the first time is a great opportunity to learn everything his house has to tell you about who he is.
How clean he keeps his place is an indication of his level of responsibility. The kind of decorations he has around the house and on the walls can tell you about his interests, hobbies and even his level of maturity. If he’s given the bathroom a cursory clean or really scrubbed behind the toilet (or even cleaned it at all), it's a good indication of whether or not he generally likes to keep his place clean. It also shows you how much he cares about what you think of him and his place. Even what he has in the fridge can give you some clues into what he's about!
Of course, we all have different preferences when it comes to cleanliness and décor, so in the same way that you can’t judge a book by its cover, you can’t 100% judge a guy based on the state of his dwelling. However, there are some things that are definitely red flags, even if they seem normal at first glance.
So, when you head over there for the first time, maybe for dinner and some drinks, be on the lookout for some of these red flags.
20 He's Got Toys And Games Everywhere
There's nothing wrong with having a robust collection of action figures, comic books or video games. If he's got a shelf of action figures in their boxes, that's different from having a whole wall or room devoted to his toys. If his whole place looks like it's devoted to his toy collection, that's definitely a red flag. And, if he has more video games than your little sibling, that's a red flag too.
Having too many toys and games can be a sign that he hasn't really grown up.
It can also indicate that he spends more time in the virtual world than the real world, which means he won't have much time for you.
19 There Are Pictures Of Him and His Ex
Sometimes guys stay friends with their exes and that’s fine, but if he’s still got pictures of her around his place, he probably hasn’t gotten over her.
If they’re broken up and not even good friends, it’s even more of a red flag. This could mean that he’s pretty much obsessed with her. I mean, why else would you keep pics of someone who broke your heart?
18 He’s Got Way Too Many Pictures Of Himself
Of course, we all have pictures of ourselves in our homes. Usually, they're pics of ourselves with our friends or family, or maybe photos of us doing something awesome in a cool place. But it’s kind of unusual to only have pictures of yourself, by yourself, all over the walls of your place.
If he’s got a bunch of pictures of himself just smiling at the camera or doing his best impression of an Abercrombie and Fitch model, that’s definitely a red flag. This probably indicates that he’s super self-centered, maybe even narcissistic, which would make for a really bad partner. Nobody wants to date someone who’s more in love with themselves than anyone else.
17 A Pile Of Dirty Dishes Are In The Sink
Yes, we all hate doing the dishes, but we do them, whether we want to or not. It’s just part of being a responsible adult.
If you head over to his place and there’s a pile of dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter, that’s definitely cause for concern – especially if he has a dishwasher! You could maybe forgive him if he had to wash everything by hand and got a little behind, but if there’s a dishwasher at his place there’s literally no excuse.
Plus, it shows that he didn’t even care to take 10 minutes to throw in a load before you came over.
16 A Pile Of Dirty Laundry Is On The Floor
Laundry is a pain to do, but unless you’re just going to buy new clothes every time everything is dirty, it’s just something that has to be done. This isn’t to say that literally every piece of clothing he owns should be clean, folded and put away. That’s a bit of a high expectation.
But at the very least, anything that’s dirty should be in a hamper. And that hamper shouldn’t smell like a locker room. If he just has random piles of dirty clothes on the floor in his bedroom, or if there are articles of dirty clothing hanging out on the back of a chair or the couch or literally wherever they were tossed, he’s pretty irresponsible and immature.
15 Stuff That Should Be Thrown Away Is Sitting All Over
Obviously, if you walk into his place and there’s just trash lying around GTFO ASAP. But if there are random piles or boxes of things that could or should be thrown away but aren't, such as old magazines, or old and broken household items, that should definitely raise some red flags.
If he’s got a bunch of useless stuff taking up a significant amount of space at his place and he can’t really tell you why he has it, he might be a bit of a hoarder, which is a really serious issue.
It could also indicate that he just doesn’t care about his surroundings, which is not an attractive quality either.
14 There’s An Unidentifiable Smell
If you can’t see anything that looks off in his place, but you can smell something off, that’s for sure a bad sign. Maybe there’s some food somewhere that hasn’t been cleaned up. Or maybe he hasn’t taken the trash out or changed the litter box in an ungodly amount of time.
No matter what the cause of the smell is, it is not normal for a home to have a weird smell. It’s definitely a sign that he’s not a very clean guy, and it’s also a sign that he doesn’t care about keeping his place presentable for visitors.
13 There’s No Hand Soap Or Hand Sanitizer In The Bathroom
Having hand soap or hand sanitizer in the bathroom seems like the most basic level of hygiene and home maintenance, because it is. You might find it hard to believe that someone wouldn’t have these basics in their bathroom, but some people actually don’t!
If you head into the bathroom and notice that there’s no soap, find a way to politely excuse yourself. You definitely don’t want to have dinner with someone who hasn’t washed their hands after using the bathroom.
12 Stacks Of Unopened Mail Litter His Office
If you’re getting the apartment tour and you notice a stack of unopened mail approximately a foot high, it should raise some red flags. To be fair, most of us check our bank accounts, credit card statements and bills online these days, but there’s still some really important information that comes via snail mail – including most utility bills.
If he’s got a stack of unopened mail just lying on a table or strewn around his place, it probably means that he’s not mature enough to deal with his adult responsibilities.
Worst case scenario: He’s not even paying his bills. Best case scenario: he can’t be bothered to toss out mail he doesn’t need (hoarder alert).
11 No Blinds Or Curtains Are On The Windows
If his place has a bunch of windows and there are no curtains or blinds on them, it’s definitely a sign that he doesn’t care about the state of his house in the least.
First of all, it’s not aesthetically pleasing to have all those bare windows. Second of all, unless he lives in the middle of nowhere it means that anyone can just look into his home at any time. Talk about no privacy!
If he doesn’t care about his privacy or about how his place looks, he probably doesn’t put a lot of care into himself or his relationships either.
10 No Books… Anywhere
Sure, some people aren’t big readers, but if there are absolutely no books at all in your guy’s home that’s a big red flag. Books play a big part in shaping our worldview. We learn more about the things we believe and the things we enjoy from books.
If your guy doesn’t have a single book in his place, it probably means that’s he’s not particularly interested in learning things or expanding his mind. It probably also means that he doesn’t have much of an imagination, which makes him a pretty boring guy.
9 Or The Only Books Are Comic Books
Just like there's nothing inherently wrong with liking collectible action figures, games, or video games, there's nothing wrong with liking comic books. But if your guy doesn't have any real literature on his shelves, and he does have every issue of Spiderman ever printed, that's a bad sign.
Unless you're as interested in comics as he is, and if so, rock on, you probably won't find a lot to talk about if his only reading material is the latest issue of whatever superhero he's following. That level of interest in comics can also be a sign that he's a little immature, especially if he's not bothering to explore any other interests.
8 The Fridge Is Basically Empty
If you take a peek into the fridge and there’s nothing but beer and condiments there, that’s definitely not a great sign. You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he hasn’t been shopping in a while, but that’s the best-case scenario.
If he doesn’t care to keep a generally well-stocked fridge, it’s probably a sign that he doesn’t know how to cook. That could mean that he’s expecting someone to cook for him, or that he’s totally fine with eating takeout literally every night. Either way, a basically empty fridge means he’s not very good at taking care of himself, and who wants to deal with that?
7 Or Full Of Mom's Tupperware
Every once in a while it's nice to take home some leftovers from a dinner with parents, but if his fridge is stock full of meals that were obviously prepared by mom, that's a big red flag. This is probably a sign that he's way to reliant on his parents, which he should've grown out of long ago.
A fridge full of mom's cooking is usually also an indicator that he's not very good at cooking for himself or that's he's too lazy too cook for himself. If he's always relied on someone else to do his cooking for him, then he's probably going to expect that from a girlfriend as well, and nobody's got time for that!
6 Posters Are All Over The Walls
Posters are great for your room when you’re a teenager. They’re even acceptable in an undergrad dorm room. But if the only décor in your guy’s place is band posters, like posters that look like they came from the poster rack at Spencer’s Gifts, that should set off your alarm bells. Extra loud alarm bells should sound if there are any Sports Illustrated bikini shot posters.
Posters all over the walls of a grown-up dwelling indicate a real lack of maturity. It also shows a real unwillingness to grow up, especially if the posters are, in fact, the same ones he had on the wall of his dorm room. Again, who wants to deal with a man-child?
5 There’s No Bedframe, Or Even Worse – There's A Futon
I totally get that beds are really expensive, and that it’s hard to afford anything when you’re a struggling millennial. However, buying a decent bed is an investment every grown person needs to make – or needs to beg their parents to help them purchase.
If you get to the bedroom and he’s sleeping on a box-spring and mattress on the floor, or *gasp* a futon that looks like it came from Walmart, run! He’s definitely not mature enough for an intimate relationship if he’s not even sleeping on a real bed.
4 Everything Is A Little Too Clean And Tidy
You definitely don’t want your guy’s place to be a mess, but there’s also such a thing as a little too clean. If his place is polished to the point of shining and it seems like every little object is in its place, it could be an indicator that your guy is a serious control freak. It could even mean that he has some mental health issues, like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with liking your place to be very neat and clean, but it can be very difficult to adhere to the standards of someone who likes everything just perfect or else they'll lose their cool.
3 He's Got An Unhappy Or Neglected Pet
How a guy cares for his pets says more about him than anything else you’ll find in his home. How he treats his pets is absolutely a reflection of how much he values life and how well he takes care of other living beings.
If you see signs that he’s not properly taking care of his pet – like they’re dirty or they look too skinny or they look sick – that’s a huge warning sign. It means that he’s not responsible enough to take care of anyone other than himself.
An even bigger red flag is if his pets are really skittish or seem scared of him. This could mean that he mistreats them in an even more serious way, which is a sign for you to run the other way.
2 There’s A Room You’re Not Allowed Inside
We’re all entitled to our privacy, so if he doesn’t want to let you into the room where he keeps his collector edition action figures on the first date, that’s totally understandable. But if there’s a room in his place, or maybe a basement, that he’s made clear you’re not allowed to go in ever, get out of there fast.
He’s probably not hiding dead bodies or anything down there (although I’ve watched enough episodes of Criminal Minds to think he might be), but it does mean that he’s got a secret that he’ll do anything to keep. If he’s not willing to be honest, he’s not worth your time.
1 Party Pad
There’s nothing wrong with getting your drink on every once in a while. But if your guy has a whole bin full of empties, or his place is decorated with empty bottles or cans, or if the centerpiece on his coffee table is some kind of pipe, that’s definitely a red flag.
Whether he's always throwing a party or downing bottles on his own, it can make a person really difficult to be around, and it definitely makes intimate relationships difficult. In the best-case scenario, this guy is probably immature or irresponsible. Worst-case scenario? He could be volatile.
If his home indicates that substances play a large role in his life, get out quick!