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20 Relationship Lessons We Learned From Gilmore Girls

Sing the song with me: "If you're out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold..."

A television show that immediately grips you upon the opening note of the theme song and fills you with feelings of faraway nostalgia like you've experienced a sense of deja vu are few and far between! Sometimes we start a Netflix binge-watch session to escape the busy aspects of our real lives, allowing us to spend time in different worlds, and when a show has the power to make us feel like we're able to live in a world reminding us of home and we're able to see parts of ourselves and our loved ones in the characters — no wonder we keep returning back for repeated viewings!

Gilmore Girls, a "dramedy" which graced our screens from 2000 until 2007, is about the relationships and experiences mother-daughter dup Lorelai and Rory have in their small town of Stars Hollow, Connecticut; a place comprised of a bunch of uniquely quirky characters who enhance the women's lives through endless banter, popular culture references, and an endless amount of coffee, courtesy of Stars Hollow's resident baseball cap wearing diner owner Luke Danes.

Throughout the show's seven-year run, Gilmore fans saw all types of relationships unfold and each relationship had its own set of lessons learned through hours of Lorelai's sharp comebacks and so much more priceless pieces of advice!

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20 True Love Will Find You In The End If You're Open To It

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When we're first introduced to Lorelai Gilmore in the pilot episode, she approaches her friend and diner owner Luke Danes with a simple request, and we immediately notice two things about this cool mom: she has a lightning fast sense of banter with Luke and she's powered by oxygen and coffee!

From their first exchange over Lorelai's coffee consumption, we come to learn the two are soulmates, but the duo have to figure this out to be true! We watch Lorelai and Luke date other people, but they eventually find true love with each other forever!

19 Your First Love Will Always Be Important

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Remember the feeling of your first love? Walking down the hall hoping to bump into your crush for quick, but extremely meaningful, conversation? We remember when Rory and her first love Dean met as she was cleaning out her locker before beginning her first day at Chilton. Rory's nervous reference to Rosemary's Baby wins Dean over and their relationship takes shape.

Dean and Rory's relationship was largely marked by sweet moments; just like many of our high-school relationships, the two went through some breakups and makeups, which taught both what worked best for them in future relationships.

18 Couples Who Read Together, Stay Together

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It almost seems like a required phase during our teens; we date a "bad boy," but our "dangerous" dudes end up teaching us important lessons we take with us for the rest of our lives. For Rory, she quickly fell for Luke's nephew, Jess, when he made his memorable entrance into Stars Hollow in the show's second season.

Whether she realized it or not, Rory was quite attracted to Jess' mutual love of reading. Even though it's not a requirement for our significant others to like the same things, having shared interests can ensure a strengthened bond in a relationship.

17 Relationships Can Evolve And Change

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One sign that we've grown up and become somewhat of an adult happens when we end up dating a new guy who is the complete opposite of our preferred teenage types.

When Rory went off to Yale, she met a man who we'd never believe she'd be compatible with a few years before, but dating a dude who we normally wouldn't be attracted to allows us to expand our network of friends. Logan Huntzburger came into Rory's life when she was experiencing so much change, and he ended up introducing her to so many new opportunities.

16 Long-Lasting Friendships Take Work

via Us Weekly

Rory was always surrounded by an eclectic cast of characters in Stars Hollow, and she went on to broader horizons when she went to Yale for college where she met even more important players in her "stage" of life.

No matter who came or left, Rory could always count on her best friend, Lane, to always be around, no matter what she went through.

Having a longtime friend, even if you go through periods of time without hanging out, can be comforting because they've seen you through different phases of your life and know you so well. However, just like Lane and Rory, friendships take work.

15 Having Friends From Different Groups Is Valuable

via Marie Claire

Of course we remember Rory's lifelong relationship with her best friend Lane and her memorable friendship with her former foe-turned-friend Paris Gellar, but an underrated friendship of Rory's blossomed in the last season of the show when she was on assignment for Yale's newspaper and she met two girls who were participating in an art show.

What began as a work assignment turned into a cool relationship. Lucy and Olivia weren't Rory's "normal" type of friends; they were wildly carefree, the opposite of Rory's more cautious personality. Take a chance and say "hi" to someone who seems interesting to you!

14 Find A Work Squad

via Gilmore News

Work can be, well, work. Having a job can be nerve-racking or intimidating for a number of reasons, but one way going to work can be fun is to have a group of friends around to make your day better! Having a work crew is quite fun because you're able to bond over the common ground at the office!

Gilmore Girls featured one of the most iconic groups of coworkers. Lorelai managed an inn and later opened one with her best friend Sookie St. James. Lorelai and Sookie had Michel, the often grumpy assistant, to round out their legendary work clique.

13 It May Take A While To Get To Know Your Partner

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Luke Danes started out as Lorelai's caffeine source, and we watched the pair banter during Lorelai's daily visits to the diner, and we kept ourselves glued to the show to watch the friends turn into something more.

While Lorelai and Luke had romantically-charged chemistry from the get-go, part of their journey was watching them blossom and flourish into romantic partners.

If Lorelai and Luke are positive proof that sometimes what you're looking for is right in front of you, it can take a season to get to know your potential partners. Keeping an open mind and remind yourself to not rush progress is so important to a successful relationship later on.

12 People May Come Into Your Life For One Season

via Her Campus

There's no doubt that relationships, no matter if they are friendships or romantic relationships, have such an important influence on who we are as people, and significant moments within the relationships can have the power to teach us important lessons.

One of the central relationships in Lorelai Gilmore's life was with Christopher Hayden. She dated him in high school, had a child with him, and then went on her own to raise Rory. The timing was never right with Christopher and it wasn't until he finally got his life together that he and Lorelai finally gave it a go and got married. She wasn't meant to be Christopher, but that doesn't mean he didn't play a significant role in her life.

11 Communication Is Key

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A show with many characters with fiercely strong bonds and unbreakable relationships, it's inevitable that miscommunication happens occasionally, and sometimes feelings can be hurt. On Gilmore Girls, Rory grew up with her father Christopher coming in and out of her life, and she struggled to communicate with her dad about how she was influenced by his absence.

Rory had a few intense conversations with Christopher throughout the series about her feelings, and communicating them with him was important for her character.

When we are honest and communicate openly, our relationships are strengthened. Never be afraid to speak up.

10 Your Parents Are People Too

via Elle

In the pilot episode, it's apparent Lorelai and Rory are best pals. They spend time bonding over Macy Grey and lipgloss, but we also see the duo slip into mother-daughter mode after a fight. It's evident that Lorelai struggled with finding a comfortable balance between being Rory's friend and being a mother who routinely disciplines her teen.

We also see Lorelai come to terms with having to resume her relationship with her parents for Rory's education, and Rory briefly forgets how hard it is for her mom to do so. Patience with your parents is key; they'll be very grateful!

9 Surrounding Yourself With Friends Who Push To Be The Best Version Of Yourself

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Rory's best pal Lane Kim loved music. She had a massive CD collection she kept under her bedroom floor to hide from her protective mother, and she always dreamed of being in her own band. Thankfully, Lane made the decision to follow her dreams despite her mother's objections, and her dream became a reality with the help of Lorelai and Rory. Lane's band, Hep Alien, practised in the Gilmore's garage, and Rory was there for Lane when the rock-and-roll life got tough.

Encouraging your friends to follow their dreams can help them become the best versions of themselves!

8 Expand Your Knowledge

via NY Daily News

Gilmore Girls wouldn't be the show it was without the references to popular culture tucked into every episode. From the eclectic mix of music on the soundtrack to the many guest stars like One Tree Hill's Chad Michael Murray to one of Lane's favorite bands, Sonic Youth, making an appearance, the show's tributes to popular culture helped keep Stars Hollow afloat!

One of the earliest episodes featured Lorelai, Sookie, and Rory excitedly going to a Bangles concert. The show was memorable because Lorelai invited Rory's former rival Paris along and it completely changed their relationship. Bonding over pop culture can help friendships blossom for good, but in order to do that, it's open to be open-minded.

7 It Actually Does Take Hard Work

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If there's one amazing lesson we learned from both Rory and Lorelai it's that hard work and dedication does pay off. This is probably one of the only shows on TV that actually showed a teenager study and freak out over exams and how difficult it can be to get into your dream college. Rory dedicated most of her life to getting into a prestigious college, and she did. Lorelai also worked her way up from being a maid to owning her own inn. So if you're looking for some inspiration or a kick in the you-know-what, then look no further than these Gilmore ladies who refused to back down when things got tough.

6 Find People Who Will Be There During The Difficult Times

via Gilmore News

Relationships depicted on Gilmore Girls shared a theme; everyone was there for one another no matter what. From Rory and Lane's friendship to Luke dropping everything to help Lorelai with any household problem, Gilmore Girls showed the importance of being there for your friends and loved ones,

Even when life feels like it's turning against us or if we're feeling lonely, it's helpful to remember our friends and family are around for us when we need a shoulder to lean on. Be that person for someone, they'll be grateful for your presence!

5 Your Elders Know So Much

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Lorelai's difficult relationship with her parents is one of the biggest themes of Gilmore Girls, and we learn from the first episode that she and Rory didn't spend a lot of time with Richard and Emily outside of the holiday season. When Rory finally gets the opportunity to spend more time with her grandparents on a weekly basis with the famous Friday night dinners, it's evident she and her grandparents have a special bond. If you have the chance to spend time with a grandparent, they're wonderful sources of advice and storytelling.

4 Be Open To Change

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Rory always knew what made her feel comfortable no matter the type of situation she found herself in; she loved to bring a book to read on the bus or at lunch and she took comfort in her status as a bookworm-loving babe. Rory was well-known for her preference for routine, but she boldly decided to take a leap of faith when she met Logan and was introduced to activities that would've made her younger self uncomfortable.

Try to seize any chance to challenge yourself: you'll grow and figure out aspects of yourself you might not have known existed.

3 The Power Of Comfort Food

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Even if you've never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls and only have a general idea of the show's plot, you may know Lorelai and Rory really love to bond over junk food. The girls often come together over elaborate orders of cheese fries and of course, endless cups of coffee. Sometimes Lorelai and Rory would save their most important conversations to have over the best of comfort foods.

When the going gets tough, bring your mom or best friends along for some snacks and conversation. It's always fun to relax and have everything you love around at once.

2 Take Time For Yourself

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How many of us could relate to Rory during the times where she struggled to manage homework and all of the happenings with the Stars Hollow homies? When we get really busy and find ourselves having trouble trying to fit everything into our schedules, it's easy to forget to take time for ourselves. In a second-season episode, Rory made a spontaneous decision to take a day trip to New York to visit Jess, and despite feeling nervous about the consequences, she really enjoyed the experience.

Self-care gives us the ability to recharge and keep going with our boss babe lifestyle. Sometimes you need to be selfie and really take a moment for yourself and something that will make you happy. Be unapologetic for taking care of yourself every once and a while.

1 Old Friends Can Guide You To New Beginnings

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It's rewarding when we can find evidence of growth in ourselves; we grow up and meet people, evolve from one phase to the next, and learn new aspects about ourselves in the process. When we meet up with old friends and flames, it helps us get an insight to how much we've changed, whether it's good or bad. Rory experienced this notion in season six when she met up with her former boyfriend Jess, and she was able to see how much he had grown and how much she'd had fallen behind in life. Just when she was feeling lost in life, Jess reminder Rory of who she really was and helped bring that spark by in her life.

A brief stop in time can help us see and understand the positive and negatives changes within ourselves!

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