Kids are special creatures. Although they are human beings, just like all of us, they can't be treated the same way as adults. They don't understand a lot of things about human interactions and they don't even know how to express their own feelings and emotions yet. They have so much to learn and parents are the ones who have to facilitate this process.
But instead, some parents make things harder for their children because they have unrealistic expectations. They think that they can discipline their child by punishing them or yelling at them, they assume that their toddler demands too much of their attention, and they believe that they can solve all behavioral problems by giving them an iPad. Most people know that these things are damaging to the child, but some moms keep doing them in 2019.
20 Not Talking With The Child
Whatever the age of the child is, parents should always talk to them. Thinking that it's no use to talk to a newborn or a toddler because they don't understand anything is wrong. In fact, there more you talk to your little one, the more they will understand you and the stronger your bond will be. So talk to them on a daily basis!
19 Co-Sleeping With The Toddler
Whether parents should co-sleep with their child or not is still debatable. However, it's clear that it's best not to do it after a certain age and it's also not recommended to co-sleep every night. It can lead to increased attachment and, as a result, withdrawal syndrome in the future when you finally decide that your baby needs to have a separate bed. And for you, it'll result in less sleep because toddlers tend to wake up a lot at night.
18 Neglecting The Child At Any Age
Children of any age need attention. And, even though sometimes we get busy and stop giving a lot of our time to our kids, we should make sure that they aren't neglected. It's important to respect the child's need for attention and find ways to give them time every day. It can be anything from talking to them to just asking them to tell you about their day. This way, they'll also develop communication skills.
17 Yelling At The Kid
Yelling at a toddler won't make anything good for you or your relationship, even if you're yelling for a "good" reason. Most likely, it'll only traumatize them, but it won't let them understand what they did wrong and how they should've done it right. So, however hard it may seem, remain calm and try explaining the problem quietly. It's a good idea to use your kid's toys to do it. This way, it'll look like a game and the child will understand it better.
16 Asking The Toddler To "Use Their Words"
It's wrong to assume that a child who has learned how to speak can now explain everything they think, want, or feel. In fact, there's no way a toddler can do it. They don't understand their own emotions just yet. So instead of your toddler, it's you who has to use your words. Sit down and talk to your kid, explain how they feel, and help them find a solution. For example, "Honey, you're feeling sad because you can't find your toy. Let's look for it together."
15 Giving Them Ultimatums Every Now And Then
Another bad thing that can come up in the relationship with your toddler is giving them ultimatums. We're talking about phrases like, "We're not going to the park unless you clean up your room" or "If you don't put your shoes on right now, I won't buy you ice cream." These ultimatums don't work and they will only make the kid cry because it's impossible for them to understand the connection between shoes and ice cream.
14 Giving Them Too Much Sugary Food
A lot of the foods toddlers like to eat have too much sugar content. Candies, milkshakes, baby cereals, yogurts, different snacks – they are all delicious but they can make your kid hyperactive and cause a number of other health issues. So it's best to cook it all at home by yourself and regulate the sugar amount.
13 Using The Regular Kind Of Detergent For Washing Baby's Clothes
Baby skin is very sensitive and even when your kid isn't an infant anymore, it's still best to stick to kid-friendly detergents that won't cause any irritation. A toddler will probably find a way to throw a tantrum anyway and you don't want to create an extra reason for them to do it by using a detergent that will make their skin itchy. So for the sake of your child's health and for your own sake, use baby-friendly products for as long as possible.
12 Giving Them A Gadget To Play With All The Time
These days, most parents distract their kids with their phones, tabs, laptops, or other gadgets and let them play different games on them. However, according to specialists, kids younger than 18 months shouldn't be given any screen time at all, while toddlers aged 2 to 5 should only get one hour a day. And this hour shouldn't be about Angry Birds, but about some educational apps.
11 Expecting The Toddler To Understand What You Mean
Toddlers don't understand subtle hints and it means that if you want them to do or say something, you have to tell it clearly. For example, when they ask you to give them something, you shouldn't just say, "Excuse me" in a snide tone, meaning that they had to say "please". They just won't understand this "excuse me" in that context. So instead, just ask them to use the words you want them to use.
10 Choosing The Child's Likes And Dislikes
Many parents make their kids choose the hobbies they would like to have for themselves. For example, if a mom always wanted to dance but never learned to do it, she'll probably want her daughter to take dancing lessons. Or, if a dad wanted to play football, he'll convince his son to join a team. And they probably won't even ask the child if they actually want it. In the long run, rejecting the child's opinion can lead to serious problems.
9 Taking Credit For The Kid's Success (Even If You Actually Helped Them Achieve It)
It's okay to be proud of your kid when they achieved something, but it's not okay to take credit for their success. For example, if you finally taught your son to ride a bicycle, don't exclaim, "We did it!" because he's the one who learned to ride. So instead, say, "Well done, you did it!" It'll teach the kid to believe in themselves, show them that they can achieve something on their own, and help them feel the taste of success.
8 Using The Kind Of Consequences Kids Don't Understand As Punishment
Have you ever noticed that you tell something like, "If you scatter your toys all over the living-room, you won't get dessert tonight" to your child? If you have, it means that, just like many other parents, you're using the wrong kind of consequences that lie somewhere in the future. It can sound logical to you, but it won't work for your child. So try using more immediate consequences like, "If you scatter your toys, you'll have to clean up after yourself."
7 Helping The Child Too Much And Too Often
Often parents do some things for their children not because kids can't do them, but because parents think they can't do them. In fact, it's much more beneficial for your child (and for you, in the long run) to let them do as many things as possible, as early as possible, by themselves. After all, you don't want to have a 7-year-old who still can't tie their own shoes, wash their dishes, or even hold a spoon by themselves.
6 Replying Questions For Them When They Can Speak For Themselves
Another thing that makes your kids more dependent on you is answering questions for them. For example, if someone asks what their name is, don't rush to reply, "His name is Jack". Instead, wait for your kid to answer this simple question on their own. If you do it, your child will learn to talk for themselves, which will be beneficial for their personal development.
5 Giving Them A Timeout
Numerous studies have confirmed the negative consequences of punishing a child with a timeout, but some parents are still doing it. If you still think that this kind of punishment is working, keep in mind that a child doesn't understand why they have to stand somewhere for a while and "think about their behavior". What's more, it's humiliating for them.
4 Having Too Many Visitors At Home
Having visitors on a regular basis can be fun for you, but it's not that good for your child. In fact, being around too many people every day can make the kid hyperactive, so you shouldn't wonder why you can't get them to sleep. Always make sure that your kid has some peaceful time every day, especially close to bedtime.
3 Using Negative Language All The Time
"Don't run!" "Don't scream!" "Don't scatter your toys around!" If you say phrases like these to your toddler every day, you should remember that our brains better react to "do's" than to "don'ts". So try saying something like, "Stay close to me", "Please repeat it gently" or "Please be tidy and organize your toys."
2 Forcing The Kid To Eat The Foods They Don't Like
Dealing with a picky eater is no easy, but it doesn't mean that every meal should turn into a war battle of "I don't like it, so I won't eat it" – "No you will eat it because I said so!" And it also doesn't mean that you have to let your child eat only candies all day long. So what to do? Start being creative! Introduce new foods in an exciting way, make them look enticing, and cook something new every now and then!
1 Getting A Pet Without Thinking Things Through
It's great to have a pet at home because it'll probably become your child's best friend. But before acquiring one, you should think over a lot of things. Are you sure your kid doesn't have an allergy? Is the pet you're getting going to be friendly and absolutely safe for your child? And are you ready to clean up after both of them? Only if you have answers to these questions, you can get a pet for your child.
Sources: Healthy Children, Washington Family, Moms, Bright Side, BBC