We're watching a romantic movie and the protagonist has just met a cute guy. They go on a first date, it's all good food and laughter, and then they don't actually end up in a relationship. Well, at least not until the end of the film. Why not? Because many characters in movies struggle with how to act around the person that they want to be with, and they often follow old-school dating rules.
It's 2019 and we would like to think that we no longer date using old-fashioned dating moves, but sometimes we realize that we're slipping into those old patterns. We've heard so many things about how to get a guy to ask us out, how to behave on a first date, and how to make him commit that it can be tough to stop thinking about these things.
Sure, dating today is pretty modern since we all text and follow each other on social media, but there are many old-school dating moves that we're still doing. Once we recognize them, we can stop... and we'll realize that we're much more likely to meet the right guy once we do.
Here are 20 old-school dating moves that girls need to stop doing, along with five that make him melt.
One of the most popular old-school dating moves is to wait three days to call someone. Of course, since we're dating in 2019, we would add texting into the equation as well.
We should definitely stop doing this as there is no good reason to. If we go on a date with a sweet guy, why not text him before the three day waiting period? He's not going to wonder why we're contacting him so fast after the date. If he's been thinking about us, he'll be happy that we made the move. Of course, maybe he texts us before we get a chance to, but if he's nervous or shy, we can do it too.
If a guy texts us, we should respond quickly instead of waiting a day or so. We don't need to look like we have an intensely fast-paced life or are too busy to answer his text message. It's just not fair (and don't we want to schedule the next date quickly?!).
Unfortunately, an old-school dating move is feeling like we can't answer text messages when they come in. We feel like we have to wait an hour so we look cool. We also feel like we can't answer the phone on the first ring and we have to make the guy who is calling us wait. It's just silly, right?
Even though the majority of old-school dating moves aren't a good idea, there are a few that will work well. If we want to make him melt, we should definitely compliment him a lot.
We want to sound genuine so we shouldn't say that his hair looks awesome when he's confessed to having a bad hair day and throwing a baseball cap on. But it's a good idea to say that he has nice green eyes or gorgeous eyelashes, or that he has great taste in vintage t-shirts. He'll love hearing this.
Whenever a girl tries to flirt in a movie or on a TV show, she always bats her eyelashes in a really over-the-top way and totally embarrasses herself. She might even trip on her high heels or fall over.
IRL, flirting should be much more subtle than that. Another old-school dating move that we should forget about is flirting a lot and batting our eyelashes. Guys can see right through this and will wonder why we're trying so hard. It's going to be pretty awkward.
We follow these old-fashioned dating rules because we don't want the guy that we like to think that we're sitting at home thinking about him. Of course, when we have a crush on someone, that's exactly what we're doing.
If a guy asks us out for tonight or tomorrow evening, our first instinct is to say no because he didn't give us enough advance notice. Most of the time, though, we're totally and completely free. Why do we keep doing this? This is another old-school dating move that we should stop doing. If we're free and want to see him, let's say yes.
It's probably because of the movies that we think that a guy has to propose to a girl. We don't really see a couple talking about getting married and how much they want to be together. We see a traditional proposal.
If we've been in a long-term relationship and we want to talk to our boyfriend about getting engaged, why not just bring it up? Or why not propose to him instead? Waiting for him to propose to us is definitely old-school and it's something that we should stop doing.
On the other hand, if we want to make him melt, we should let him open doors for us and act like a gentleman. That would make him really happy and make him feel like he's taking care of us.
Of course we can take care of ourselves.... and he totally knows that, too. There is just something sweet and old-fashioned about a guy opening doors for his girlfriend or the girl that he's on a date with. It's totally okay to admit that we like that.
If we want to wear a lot of makeup, then we totally should. However, we shouldn't think that we need to do this in order to impress a guy, whether he's our crush or boyfriend. This is an old-school dating move that we should forget about.
When we stop wearing so much makeup we might even hear guys tell us that they like how natural we look. That's something that many guys say. We don't have to give up our lipstick if we love wearing it, but we don't have to feel a lot of pressure to look perfectly made up on every date either.
Picture this: our boyfriend comes home from work and looks upset but won't say a word to us about what's going on. We keep trying to ask him what happened and what's getting him down, but to no avail. Then he says that we should know why he's feeling sad and he can't believe that we can't read his mind.
This would be weird, right? So why do we expect our boyfriends to read our minds? It's totally an old-school dating move to drop subtle hints about what we're mad about but not explain to our boyfriend how we're feeling.
It's one of the most old-fashioned sayings ever: find a man who loves us more than we love him. We might have read this in a book or heard it in a movie or maybe a relative has even said it to us.
Things should definitely be more equal in a relationship, don't we think? This is an old-school dating move that we should move on from. We want to fall in love with someone who has fallen so hard for us, too, because that is honestly where the fun happens. It's nothing short of magical.
It's become a really big debate: does a guy have to pay for a girl when they go on a first date? If we like when a guy makes the decision to cover the bill, then we probably think that this is nice and that he's showing that he cares.
The truth is that many guys really like doing this. They feel like it's the right thing to do on a date. And they're not trying to insult us because of course, they know that we can afford to pay for the date, too.
If we let a guy pay for our date, he'll definitely melt.
Have we ever been sad or upset and then looked at our boyfriend and thought that we shouldn't say anything because it would be "too much" for him? This is something that many of us think on a regular basis. We don't want him to be burdened by us and we don't want to make him talk about feelings.
This is an old-school move that we should stop doing. He loves us and he won't think that we're too much. He wants to help us out and we want to help him out when he's upset since it would be strange if we could only talk to our best friend or mom instead of him.
Talk about a super old-school move: ditching our best friends as soon as we get a boyfriend. Suddenly brunches and dinners and going to the movies just aren't happening with our friends anymore and we're spending every night (and day) with our new boyfriend. Sure, this is awesome for us, but it's not so great for our friends who are really hurt by this.
This is something else that we should stop doing, especially since it screams high school girl and seems kind of immature. We should consider everyone that we care about equally special and important to us.
According to the old-school ways that people used to date, a woman would wait for a man to court and pursue her. She wouldn't ask him out. No way. Instead, she would hope that he would want to go out to dinner with her. She would be thinking about marriage and kids, and she wouldn't make any moves.
Today, we can totally make moves in dating, and things are much more equal. We should stop waiting for guys to make the moves and we should always keep in mind that we can pursue people, too.
Is there a more old-fashioned holiday than Christmas? Probably not. It's a time of sitting by the fire, baking cookies, cooking with family members, and just spending quality time together. There are carols and traditions and a lot of memories of the past.
If we want to make him melt, we should tell him that we want to spend the winter holidays together. We should also let him know that we're excited to meet his folks. He will love this and it'll be a special time.
Playing hard to get may seem like it works in a romantic comedy. Of course, that's a film, and it doesn't actually work out in real life. Instead, a guy would shrug and think that we like another guy or we don't think that he's cute. If we think that he's super cute and all we want is for him to ask us out, well, that would be too bad, right?!
We should stop playing hard to get when we like a guy. It's way too old-school and it's not a dating move that makes sense anymore.
Whether he's our boyfriend of five years or we've been dating for a few months, it's an old-school dating move to sit back and wait for him to make plans for us. Why do we have to do this? Can't we make the plans?
It's alright to admit that we want to go to a certain restaurant this weekend or that, on the flip side, we're dreaming of staying home since it's been a busy week. We should always tell our boyfriend these things. He doesn't need to be the only planner in the relationship.
Our best friend's wedding is in a week and she's the last girl to get married. Everyone else that we know is already planning when to have kids and has been coupled up for years. And we're not even engaged yet.
Sure, it's our instinct to compare our relationship to our friends' relationships, but we have probably heard our boyfriend say that he doesn't want to compare our love to everyone else's. He's right.
We should stop doing this because it's better to go at our own pace and focus on our own milestones.
A man getting down on one knee and proposing to the woman that he's in love with: that's definitely the old-school way to get engaged. There are often fireworks, or tons of red roses, or some kind of big gesture.
We expect these kinds of proposals, but we really don't have to. There are other ways to get engaged that are just as wonderful. We should stop expecting this kind of massive proposal. It's an old-school way of thinking and if our boyfriend proposes another way, why would we be disappointed? Isn't it so great to know that we're going to marry him?
When we really want to make our boyfriend melt, we should tell him that he makes us feel super safe and comfortable. We can even cuddle with him as we say it and that will be a total bonus. Yes, this is very cheesy but that's how we get when we realize that we've found such a great relationship.
Guys love hearing these words since this makes them feel like they're protecting us and taking care of us. And we honestly love that we've found the person who makes us feel all warm and cozy.
Emotions are complicated. Telling our boyfriend about our emotions? That's even more complicated.
We might sometimes omit telling him about our emotions because we're worried that we'll upset him. We don't want him to feel bad or like he should have done something different because we know that he's a great boyfriend.
The best thing that we can do? Stop with this old-school dating move and always tell him how we feel and also what our opinions are. Even if we have to tell him something that might upset him in the short term, it's honestly okay.
We're in a new relationship and our boyfriend loves cooking elegant meals and spending a lot of time at farmers markets and in little gourmet grocery stores. Or he's a big-time hiker. Or he goes to the gym a lot.
No matter what his hobbies and interests are, we can't just go along with them and act like we adore these things, too. We shouldn't hide our own hobbies, either.
This is another old-school dating move that we should stop doing. It gives him a false sense of hope that we have a hobby in common when we actually don't so that's not fair. We should be honest about what we love doing.
Giving our new boyfriend a makeover, or even just picking out his outfits sometimes, is a really old-school dating move. We figure that this is alright because we want him to look his best and he would want our style advice, wouldn't he? Maybe not... and maybe this actually upsets him and makes him think that we don't like the actual him.
We should stop doing this when we get into a new relationship because it's always better to appreciate the other person for who they are.
We love kale, or running, or horror films. No, we actually don't... but we didn't want to tell our boyfriend the truth, so we told some little white lies. We assume that this is no big deal and, okay, we're not lying about really big, important things.
But little white lies do add up and when our boyfriend learns how we really feel about certain subjects, he's not going to love that we didn't just get real and honest.
We should stop doing this (especially since it might result in him ordering us kale for dinner...).
Have we ever hid our quirky personality from a guy until we got serious with him? We have all done this and it seems logical since we figure that he wants to be with a regular, chill, non-quirky person.
We all have quirks and he does, too. It's great to let him see these from the first date... or, okay, at least the third or fourth date. It's an old-school dating move to pretend to be totally quirk-free and we shouldn't do this anymore. If he doesn't like us for who we are, he doesn't deserve us anyway!