There are hundreds of thousands of very bad pick-up line stories that were total flops, with most of them making a guy look like a fool, but let's be fair, most guys who approach women with lame pick-up lines aren't exactly standing out for a good reason. Women don't want to be objectified, which is what most pick-up lines do, but at the same time, sometimes a great line is so silly or outrageous that it actually works, and the next thing you know, she's dancing with you and giving you her phone number. For the rest of the guys, the ones who wind up making fools of themselves or who don't get the kind of response they really want, the situation can be embarrassing — which of course makes for the perfect funny story later down the road!
While not all stories are great, there are some pretty memorable ones! What are some sad examples of men trying to use awkward pick-up lines? What about stories of the few times a woman tries to pick them up instead? From the crazy to the downright sad, here are twenty stories from Reddit men, explaining the worst pick-up tactics they've ever experienced.
*Please Note: Entries edited for length and clarity.*
20 Awwww :(
"I straight up just asked a girl for her number after a small conversation. It was the first time I'd ever asked a girl for her number. She gave it to me. I get home, thinking, 'Wow, that was easy.' The number was fake."
Ladies, we get it. Sometimes guys are so persistent that there's nothing we can do but offer fake numbers to get them to back off. It happens, but this guy doesn't sound like he was creeping. He was talking to her for a little while and casually asked. He felt on top of the world, like any nice guy would! But of course, when he got home, he realized what she did and everything came crashing down on him. As messed up as it sounds, a lot of nice guys have to pay the price for what all the jerks in the world are responsible for.
Women have tried, in many creative ways, to tell men they aren't interested, but the persistent ones, the ones who back women into corners, the ones who really try to take advantage of their greater strength and size, those are the ones responsible for women being too afraid to outright admit she isn't interested, leading to the offer of a fake number. Did OP deserve that? No, he doesn't seem to at all, but sometimes that's just what happens.
Anyone who has ever lived to the not-so-ripe age of seventeen is already intimately familiar with the awkward silence. Maybe you just had a great night with your bestie and it's the perfect moment for a kiss, but neither of you is willing to make the first move for fear that the other person isn't interested in a romantic relationship. Maybe it's worse than a usual awkward silence, maybe someone said something great to you, something life-changing, like, "I've always loved you" and now you don't know how to tell them you don't share their feelings! Now you're stuck sitting there, trying to find the right words so you don't hurt the other person, but the longer you struggle, the longer the silence stretches and the worse the other person feels. There's not a whole lot you can do to make things okay at that point, and it's very possible that's the sort of awkward silence rumblejumble is talking about here.
Word to the wise: When things start going south in a relationship, even if it's just a friendship, don't let the silence stretch on, say something right away, even if that something is a little harsh. The other person deserves your real thoughts and it's probably the least awkward way to respond.
18 Poor Girl Is In Way Over Her Head!
"If you were a [C]heeto, you'd be flamin' hot."
We don't know what context this is in, but when it comes to pick-up lines, talking about Cheetos might not be the best way to go. A pick-up line is mean to get someone's attention and either make them laugh, which in turns makes them think you're both pretty and humorous, or it's supposed to make the other person interested in getting to know you.
Ultimately, this line didn't work for Someguyfromearth123 and, honestly, it probably wouldn't work for anyone else either. Ladies, leave the cheesy (pun definitely intended) lines to the guys. As women, all we really have to do is say, "Hi, I'm X" and they're putty in our hands! But really though, this sounds like a line a teenage girl uses on a friend as a joke. If a full-grown woman approached a guy at a bar with this line, he's going to question her intelligence and might even consider whether she needs some kind of medical help. If you want to make yourself memorable, just make sure you don't make yourself memorable for the wrong reason, and going with a line about Cheetos is definitely the wrong reason.
17 Just No
"Me: 'Hey, do you know what kind of material this made out of?'
*Hand her the corner of my shirt or jacket or whatever I have on my torso*
Her: 'No, I don't know'
Me: *Dramatically looking away,* 'boyfriend material'
My favorite, though I don’t recommend using is:
Her: 'I have a boyfriend'
Me: 'I have goldfish'
Me: 'Oh, I thought we were saying things we didn't care about.'"
Okay, so this guy has some ideas, which is great! He's trying to be funny and he's trying to grab her attention, but ultimately his strategy has a few fatal flaws. For the first line, where he's talking about the material of his clothing, it's super awkward!! What woman is going to bother responding at all? She's more likely to say, "I don't know" while turning away with intentions of escape than she is to accept a man trying to hand her the hem of his shirt or jacket. Remember guys, some men are creeps and women aren't very open to accepting things from a strange guy. Secondly, if she immediately responds with, "I have a boyfriend," she's not trying to tell you about her relationship status, she's trying to tell you to stop trying. Take a hint and back off.
16 Just Bad Enough To Be Good Maybe
"Hey girl, if you were a transformer, you'd be Optimus fine... Smooth right? Right?"
Maybe this line would have been semi-okay to try on a girl back in 2007, but no one is going to be falling for it now. No one really cares for the newer Transformer movies, so why would you try to use this line on someone? Even if they're a fan of the cartoon, it's still a pretty tricky move. We'll never know of some girl tried this line on Vsdas2727 or if he tried it on some girl, but what we do know is it made it to the list of the worst attempts at picking someone up, so it's safe to assume it didn't work out for either party.
It's okay to try to use pick-up lines on someone, but the fact that you're approaching them in the first place is an obvious sign that you find them physically attractive, after all, you don't approach someone unless you want to get to know them better, and what makes you want to get to know them better is initially based on physical attraction. Knowing this, why bother with a lame pick-up line saying they're fine? If this is the best they could come up with, it's time they worked on their one-liner skills.
15 Why Would You Say That?
"I’ll bet your lips taste like cherry. Mine taste like rotisserie chicken."
This sounds like something out of a Saturday Night Live skit or a movie that follows the same kind of humor as the film "Joe Dirt." For any guy who thinks talking about what any part of a woman tastes like is sexy, please keep this in mind: Even if you're the hottest, best-dressed guy in the room with the brightest smile and best features, a line like this is going to make a girl roll her eyes and turn away. Women may sometimes act like it, but ultimately the majority don't like being objectified. This line is obviously meant to be a joke, but it isn't very funny and it isn't going to make any woman want to get to know a guy any better.
ItsHampster needs to step his game up a notch - or seven - if he's going to compete with guys who actually know how to talk to the opposite sex. It's surprisingly easy to do, all he has to do is stay away from mentioning what any part of her body tastes like and also stay away from talking about what any part of his body tastes like. Sound simple? That's because it is.
"Did you fall from heaven? Because there's a huge crater over there."
Whoa! Talk about unnecessary cruelty! rostabul is a huge jerk! Either that or someone he tried this line on is a huge brat who was trying to flirt and wasn't taking a hint so he had to pull out the serious ammo! Really, it's never okay to just turn someone down like this. If rostabul was going for a funny line, he'd better think twice next time because no woman likes to be approached by a man who immediately points out she's on the heavy side. It's even worse if he tried this line on an extremely thin woman. It isn't funny to anyone and it just makes for a really bad first impression.
Of course, if roles were reversed and he said this to a woman who wasn't letting up, he still could have had a little class and simply told her he wasn't interested. It's not that hard to say "no" to someone, and if they persist, just go to the bouncer at the club, the bartender, hostess, whomever, and the offender will be promptly kicked out. Regardless of what was going on, fat jokes are never okay.
13 Oh, Lawd
"[A]re you my appendix? Because I want to take you out ;) *winks viciously*"
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's slow down there, buddy! Any joke about an organ, vital or not, isn't going to get very far unless you're both in a hospital after having the same operation, and even then there's no guarantee the little joke won't fall flat. Also, anyone who is so nervous that they wink "viciously" is guaranteed to fail. People will wonder what's in your eye and might try to just escape your horrifyingly awkward presence.
If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times! When it comes to flirting with the opposite sex, it's best not to leave any room for awkwardness, this means no tired pick-up lines, no mentioning of what she smells like or, God forbid, guessing what her lips might taste like, and this also means you shouldn't talk about organs or overdo the wink, which should be singular! Guys, let's just calm down and remember why you're approaching her in the first place - you want her to like you, you're hoping she'll be so enamored by your wit and natural charm that she'll give you her phone number and you can see if maybe there's something there. Don't mess it up!
12 Please, Just Go
"The best pick-up line is a bunch of trucks. (Which pick-up line is the best, however, is hotly contested. Some say it's Chevy, some say it's Ford.)"
Sooo is this guy already involved in a conversation with her or is this literally how he approached her? Even in normal conversation, at best he's going to get a chuckle. Unless he's trying to pick her up at a car show, it's unlikely the woman he's got his eye on is going to bother with giving him the time of day. While it's definitely rude of a woman to ignore a man, this is exactly the kind of pick-up line that leads to being ignored the rest of the night.
Sorry guys, it's not that you didn't try, it's just that you tried a little too hard in this instance. As crazy as it sounds, all you really have to do is walk up to a pretty woman and introduce yourself. If she's interested, she'll introduce herself as well and continue any conversation you try to start and if she's not, then she'll let you know with her body language, facial expressions, and the way she asks you to leave her alone.
11 Calm Down There, Stud
"Hello, I noticed you and had to stop you or I'd regret it for like the next 10 minutes."
Hah! That's so funny! This guy, everybody! This guy over here is freaking hilarious!
This guy's weak attempt at a pick-up joke is just a little too much. Instead of coming off as a man who can get the attention of any woman he wants, much like any of the James Bonds, he's representing himself as a stand-offish guy who is superficially interested in a woman and if she doesn't respond, then he's not really out of the game, he'd be just as happy talking up some other girl. While this might sound like a good thing from his perspective, it just sounds like a lame thing to say and women will not be responding well to it.
Traditionally, the line is, "Hello, I noticed you and had to stop you or I'd regret it for the rest of my life." While it may seem super cheesy, it's a classic for a reason - women respond well to compliments! If you can't offer a woman a basic compliment, then what are you doing even trying to pick her up?
10 Seriously, The Worst
"'I hope you're not as heavy as you look. Because I want to pick you up' Ok that was the worst thing my brain ever thought up."
With a username like weird_tomato, it kind of makes sense that they'd invent this kind of cheesy pick-up line. Unfortunately, while he's saying he likes her, he's also implying she's really heavy. Sorry, weird_tomato, but women don't really fall for guys who call them fat. They also don't respond well to super awkward pick-up lines, which is exactly what this is. Thankfully, he realized it was a horrible line and admitted it's the "worst thing" he's ever thought of, so hopefully, he'll never accidentally blurt it out in the presence of a beautiful woman.
Men, women, learn from weird_tomato! before trying a pick-up line on someone, try saying it out loud to yourself. If you make yourself cringe, which we're pretty sure is exactly what weird_tomato did, then don't bother using the line on the opposite sex! If it makes you overthink things or makes you wonder what the heck you were thinking when you thought it up, don't use it on an actual human being! There, now get out there and have normal conversations!
9 Actually, That's Super Sweet
"I went to a nearby gas station to purchase a bag of ice. When I requested it, the short, Indian counter worker told me, 'I can get you anything you want. You want star from sky?'"
Okay, it might not have been an Academy Award-winning confession of love, but it's definitely a super sweet one! Most pick-up lines fall flat because they're so generic, super cheesy and can lead to some pretty uncomfortable moments, but this person took advantage of the timing and turned an everyday encounter into something that borders a magical experience. Anyone who gets hit on from out of nowhere will immediately feel flattered, which is a great thing to feel! They'll feel those good vibes all day long, especially when the source of that flattery is as sweet as someone basically offering to fetch you a star from the sky!
The line might have been a little generic, but it isn't classic because it's so overused in pick-up lines, it's a classic because that's the kind of thing one lover says to another, it's much more intimate and meaningful to a person. That employee might not have gotten literalmetaphorical's number, but it's guaranteed they made his day!
8 Not Happening
"This may be a bit of a stretch in terms of considering it flirting, but I had a girl that was trying to get me to go out with her. When I said that I wasn't really interested she proceeded to try and entice me through jealousy, by saying that maybe my younger brother was more her type. Trying to make someone jealous by invoking a family member always seems like a strange tactic."
This girl must have been pretty young and naive to believe that tactic was going to work. While some men tend to call women ugly or insult them when they're turned down, some women try to pull the "I'm not really interested in you" card as well, just with a little less insulting. By pretending she's more interested in Black_Seven's younger brother, she was trying to cover her embarrassment with making him feel like he wasn't her real target anyway. While it's kind of a sad move, it can also make the entire situation worse. It's not very often that a guy has to turn down a woman, but ladies, when it happens, respond with a little more tact than trying to make it sound like you were never that interested in him, to begin with.
7 Sad Story With A Happy Ending!
"With my current SO, we went to a movie together before we were dating and I held her hand the whole time. She thought it was 'friendly hand-holding.'"
Unless you live in the 1700s, there's no such thing as "friendly hand-holding." Even then, men and women didn't just walk around holding hands because they're friends! After the age of about five or six, boys and girls don't generally hold hands unless they're siblings, the other person is their parent or legal guardian, or they're related in some other way. All other hand-holding activities are among couples! Why she would attempt to play it off as "friendly hand-holding" makes no sense whatsoever. Did she think he was gay and they were legit just friends holding hands or did she just happen to lead one of the most sheltered lives on the face of the planet?
At least this poor guy has a happy ending. While the first time he held her hand ended in an awkward moment that likely plagued him for months, at least he got the girl in the end and they're together now! Let's hope when he pops the question she doesn't think he's just asking her to be friends forever.
6 Dang, Man
"I told a girl I liked her... Her reply... 'ok.'"
Ouch. Honestly, though, this guy's temporary pain is probably worth avoiding the years of misery any relationship with this brat would have brought him. It's obvious she didn't care about him in the slightest. She couldn't even be bothered to let him down easy! Instead, she just makes him feel like an idiot while she's standing there, all high and mighty with her nose turned up at him, acting for all the world like she's so desirable and so above anything he could possibly offer that she doesn't need to respond with more than a single word.
On behalf of all men and women who have been unnecessarily hurt this way, OP should have told her off, explained to her tiny mind that other people's feelings matter too, and that the least she could do was not be such a piece of work when someone is putting their hearts out on a platter for her. At the very least, she might have been a little nicer to the next guy who foolishly thinks she's worth his time. Alas, OP probably didn't and who knows how many more hearts she's broken since then?
"I was at a bar drinking with some buddies of mine. One of them tells me this girl keeps looking at me and he dares me to go ask her out. I walk up to her and she completely ignores me. Well..."
There are so many questions here! Was she really looking at him or did his buddies set him up? Was she actually looking at a guy behind him, so they were confused about it? Why was she being such a brat by ignoring him entirely, instead of just admitting she wasn't interested in him? Did she maybe just have a lazy eye so they thought she was checking him out when really she wasn't even checking anyone out at all? What really happened and where can we go for the answers?
Unfortunately, there was no further explanation in the comments, so Conspicuous1141's story will die with him - and whoever else was there at the bar with him. Hopefully, he doesn't take this one bad experience to heart and he'll still be confident enough to approach a lady in the future. Who knows? Maybe next time she'll actually speak to him, they'll hit it off, and he'll have a wonderful story to share at their wedding.
4 But Why?
"It was near the end of the spring semester in college, this girl and I had frequent interactions but never hung out or anything..."
"We had a lot in common and I began to like her but was pretty nervous to ask her out. On the last day of class, I worked up the gumption to ask her out, she says yes and looks somewhat shy but also excited. We exchange numbers and we go our separate ways. On the way home, I feel my phone vibrate and I am immediately excited to see that she had texted me so soon. I couldn't wait to read the text but decided to leave it for when I stopped driving. I reach my house and open the message only to read that she basically did not want to hang out or get to know me more and that it was a mistake to have said yes to my asking her out. That one hurt for a while. I am happy to say that I am now dating the most amazing girl I have ever met and we are planning on getting married."
Ladies, if you don't want to go out with someone, just tell them! Don't hurt a guy like this. That's just messed up.
3 Kids Can Be Cruel
"I was just a kid. I recently transferred schools (I think I was 8 years old). I finally got my first friend at my new school. I told him I liked this girl in our class..."
"He told her I liked her (as well as half the class)."
"I walked up to her the next day. She tells me she is not interested because I'm that weird new kid. I didn't even get to ask her out I guess..."
It makes sense that the worst memory a guy could have of attempting to pick someone up would come from a grade school memory. The things that happen to us as kids shape our perspective of how life works much later. Getting turned down before he could even try to ask a girl out is pretty harsh, but that's kind of what happens when we're kids - we say and do things without realizing how it can hurt other people. Hopefully, Lanceth115 got over the experience and the girl of his affections grew up to be a better human being. The upside is at least it happened when he was really young, and he's had plenty of time to grow out of the awkwardness.
2 What Is Wrong With This Girl?
"I told a girl I was into her, she spent the next two hours (I only wish I was exaggerating) telling me how terrible I am and everything she didn't like about me..."
"I was pretty [hurt] by the end, but I was socially awkward back then so I didn't know how to make her stop. We were friends too, so what she thought about me was important to me..."
Seriously, how self-absorbed does a girl have to be to not only turn down a guy but then spend a ton of time tearing him down? And what kind of person would do that to a friend? She's obviously not friend material, and he seriously dodged a bullet with her because if she treats her friends like crap, imagine how she must treat her lovers! IranianGenius got away from her just in time! Hopefully, he wised up and stopped talking to her altogether, leaving her to realize what a brat she was being and how she should probably work on her social skills. He may not have had the courage to make her stop droning on and on about how horrible he supposedly was, but she should have at least stopped when she realized he was feeling the sting of her every word.
1 Awwww, But You Tried!
"5th grade tried my first pick-up line: 'I'm shopping in a store, and you're on sale.' It didn't work."
Okay, this is super adorable. Imagining being a little kid and you're playing on the school playground, minding your own little kid business when a classmate comes up and casually tosses this line your way. As a little kid, you might think, "What the heck is this guy talking about?" before you laugh in his face and ask if he wants to race you on the monkey bars. The innocence and cuteness of this would be lost on you, but thinking back to it as an adult would definitely make you "awwww!"
mavdude410 may not have been a heart-breaker with lines like these, but he was just a kid and he was trying his best! Guaranteed he's spent the rest of his school days thinking up better pick-up lines, and now he's the guy in the club who never leaves alone! So what did we learn, boys and girls? If at first, you don't succeed, just try again! Learn from your mistakes and use the past to shape a better future - especially when it comes to the finer art of expressing your intentions with the opposite gender.