Being a woman is not easy. From having to put up with unwelcome monthly visitors to childbirth and the hormonal rollercoaster that is our menstrual cycle, we are the gender that has to put up with a lot of pain. This is especially true if we want to give in to the extreme beauty rituals that inflict pain on us in order to achieve utter flawlessness. One of the biggest forms of torment we volunteer for on a regular basis is hair removal. Between plucking, shaving, and waxing, some of us have even suffered through laser hair removal to ensure those unwanted hairs never return again. But let’s get back to waxing. No, not back waxing, but the fear-inducing bikini wax. In dealing with a sensitive subject, we have to say that this is an extreme way to up your game in the hooty-hoo department. It’s not for everyone, and if you’re ever uncertain about going for it, we’re here to turn you off for good.
Between the mistakes that the aestheticians make or the unsightly and embarrassing messes that could happen, it’s just a recipe for disaster and lifelong cringing. In the long run, you’ll realize that safely maintaining your own beave (without wax) is the optimal choice when it comes to pruning your bush.
20 The Pain Heard Around The City
Getting your downstairs hairs aggressively pulled from their sockets is not an experience that one goes into lightly. Just like getting a tattoo, you are well aware of the fact that it’s going to hurt like a biotch. Unfortunately, that level of pain is often unpredictable and when you experience that first wretched tug, your emotions get the better of you. It’s no surprise that this woman believed that her cries echoed beyond the outskirts of the GTA, but she may be overreacting just a little. We’re probably talking about a six-block radius, at best. The pain that women willingly put their lady bits through takes a lot of courage and dedication to earning that fresh af V. Whereas some women will just realize that nothing is worth that level of discomfort.
19 If At First You Don't Get Banned...
He did WHAT now? This is one dirty story that we’re almost tempted to not even share (almost). It’s just shocking that a man could be this turned on by the hairs of his rear being removed. Anyone else feel that shudder run through them? He may be embarrassed by his seemingly unexpected release, but not embarrassed enough to keep him from reliving that experience all over again. It just goes to show you, everyone has their weird-a** fetish. Unfortunately, his took place in public and at the hands of an unwilling female participant. Gross. These poor waxers have to put up with some seriously disturbing things (and people!) sometimes, but this event has got to take the cake for most awkward and uncomfortable.
18 And Away She Goes
What a way to make an uncomfortable visit to the salon even worse. We bet that you could just cut that tension with a knife after this very personal display rolled out on the table. Nobody wants to have their used tampon be seen by a total stranger, let alone have it be so prominently showcased. And at the same time, nobody wants to see somebody’s used tampon, especially while working so closely to the tampon’s home. This is all kinds of awkward for everyone involved and will probably take a couple of days to shake the feeling of embarrassment from both women. It will probably even result in the tampon-wearer switching salons, as she could never show her face (or vajayjay) there ever again.
17 A DIY Project Gone Wrong
Sometimes it takes a gal learning the hard way to realize that some tasks are better off left to the professionals. As much as the DIY at home trend saves you money, it doesn’t save you from yourself (or from making some pretty awful mistakes). When it comes to waxing, you might be able to get away with dabbing some of that hot wax on your legs and lettin‘er rip, but when you’re dealing with something as delicate as your coochie, it’s just best to schedule an appointment for that. It’s hard enough to be able to view what you’re doing down there, let alone ensuring the landscape is free of residue or debris. There’s no angle you can twist into that’s gonna do the job as accurately as an expert.
16 An Honest Mistake
Someone has got to be paying for this mistake! To the woman who had her freshly manicured pubic bone experience an even worse pain than the follicle torture she endured mere minutes earlier, our hearts go out to you. Whoever substituted the aloe vera for the toxic chemicals that burned a woman’s skin off must pay! I mean, the sneaky sprayer must have known that the paint cleaner did not belong in the bottle of something that is so frequently used to calm and soothe their clients’ skin. Why did they not label it? WHY? This tiny risk alone is why it’s so difficult to trust people around the beave. You never know what you’re gonna go through, or feel. We bet this simple mistake led to a loss of a long-time customer.
15 Watch Your Words, Woman!
Um, excuuuuse me? Your client may not be spread eagle on an exam room table in a medical office, but dang, woman, use the politically correct terminology when referring to a woman’s genitals, would ya? You are the professional who is being trusted with woman’s most intimate area on her body. Show a little respect and at least refer to it as a vajayjay, box, or, if she’s a long-time client, beef curtains. The “P” word is just so vulgar when used out of the bedroom, as is the “C” word. In all honestly, it’s best to avoid these words at all times among strangers, especially when you’re directing someone to grab theirs. I mean, C’MON! What a way to make a lady feel vulnerable as she’s lying naked in front of someone she’s probably just met.
14 Getting A Little Too Fresh
Talk about feelin’ the breeze! If removing your bush didn’t lighten up your nether regions enough and have you feeling the comfort of the cool air around you, this certainly will! While we totally get how a soft blow could ease the surrounding nerves of your tingly pain, it’s not exactly within the realm of everyone’s comfort. In fact, it’s bordering on a little intimate if you ask us. There are better, less uneasy, ways to remedy a sore taco, and popping a few ibuprofen, relying on soothing sprays and gels, and using a darned hand fan are all tactics that any client would surely employ or welcome before accepting the warm and possibly contaminated breath of her waxer all over her exposed follicles and pores.
13 All Tangled Up
While it’s only a tad inconvenient, sometimes us women will have to put up with our monthly visitor when our appointment to get your bikini wax rolls around. Such is a part of life. It’s a little awkward, yes, but this is when a tampon really comes in handy. Most waxers understand and do their best to work around the string, without it becoming an issue. Only this time, the tampon definitely became the elephant in the room as it was recklessly caught up in some excessively placed wax. How do you even resolve this tangled mess? Excuse yourself as you go and replace it? Do you wait as the waxing maniac cleans the wax off of your string? It’s all just a little too personal to recover from.
12 Hydration vs. Lawsuit
There is nothing worse than expecting to feel a calming relief post-wax, only to be burned and discoloured by a chemical used to treat white linens and disinfect tools and counters. In fact, this application did the complete opposite of everyone’s intention. Instead of comforting and hydrating, it stung and dried out the fresh wounds. We’re not sure what happened after the foul play, but we’re pretty sure a scream and lawsuit was weaved in there somewhere. The amount of damage that the blindsided waxer could have caused is unknown, but certainly did not come without consequence. With the amount of times salon employees have mixed up the products used to soothe the skin after a bikini wax, it just makes us want to tote along the products ourselves to make sure there’s no confusion.
11 This Is Just Too Much Drama
Well then, we have another male client who took things a little too far at the salon. We’d love to know: is the pain and suffering of getting a wax around your genitals a thing for men, or is it an unknown and involuntary reaction? Whatever the cause of this disgusting display, there is just no forgiving the person who comes in with extremely poor hygiene and who touches an employee. Boners may not always be controllable, but manners are. The poor girl who had to service this client will forever be mentally jaded by a job she has probably retired from by now. Let’s hope her employer paid for those trips to the therapist, because that’s one experience that has to be worked on before she can feel over it.
10 That's Some Sideways Logic
For as long as waxing your lady parts has been a thing, so has the ability to get creative when styling this extremely complicated mane. From diamonds to triangles to hearts, your hair below can be shaped into anything the stylist is willing to accept as a challenge. The “landing strip” is a common request from frequent waxers and it usually takes on the shape of a rectangle, running vertically from the top of the public bone down to the...well you know where. It never runs flat – or, like the above recipient – horizontally. While hilarious for any lucky partner to witness, it’s gonna take a long time for the client to be able to get the look she actually wanted.
9 Taking Much More Than She Planned For
Let’s just stop for a second and collectively admit that getting waxed, or being the one to wax another person, is no fun for anyone. It’s as painful as going to the dentist or filing your taxes; full of agony, regret, and awkward exchanges. “No, I haven’t been flossing.” and “No, I can’t repay those taxes just yet.” At the salon, the awkwardness comes down to the fact that you're lying exposed in front of a stranger, but is made worse when tampons interfere. It is the “cavity” of waxing appointments. You don’t to admit it’s there, so you ignore it. Unfortunately, your waxer can’t always do the same. While they won’t point it out to you, they might interact with it, and it won’t be pretty. If you can alert your aesthetician beforehand, which actually might be the only way to prevent such shocking results such as these.
8 Just Take It All
We’re oblivious to what religion practices the requirement for women to endure a monthly removal of every inch of hair on their body, but we’re happy we’re not part of it. Not only is that a tall order to fill for the salon, but the ladies have to put up with the tireless screams of agony on the regular. When you also consider the torture that this woman must feel on a monthly basis, it makes for an appointment that nobody looks forward to. Even the mall employees have come to dread it! How’s that for collective misery? It’s kind of sad when you really think about it, since the woman so visibly hates that she has to do this to herself.
7 Bye, Bye First Layer Of Skin
This is painful even to read. Extremely hot wax and a careless aesthetician are two things you definitely don’t want when you’re going in for a bikini line touch-up. If you’ve got a tender area that’s being recklessly handled and a fear that things are going to go wrong, they probably will. At the very first application of that scalding wax we’d be tapping out and calling for a new vat of liquid, and a new waxer. While it’s not bleach or paint cleaner, it certainly comes close to the insanity level of pain caused by someone else’s mistake. If you haven’t determined already, getting your beaver waxed is a recipe for disaster. You never know what’s going to happen to your ya-ya.
6 NSFW. TMI!
Awwwwww, hellnah! The dirty, dirty women who do this deserve to be banned with the wiener dudes. This is some nasty garbage that should be dealt with well before someone begins investigating and manicuring your downstairs. It takes a real inconsiderate person to not shower away their sensual residue before an appointment that involves the tainted area in question. We believe that these are grounds for the esthetician to throw in the towel right then and say, “We’re done here. Go home and wash yourself.” It may be rude, but so is exposing your stinky, slimy genitals as someone does you a service that, let’s face it, takes a strong person to accomplish. Take this as a lesson, ladies. If you ever want to wax, do you and your waxer a favour and get sudsy beforehand.
5 The Horror!
It may be unprofessional to cringe, but we’re quite sure that nobody has the strength to be able to contain the reaction of disgust and horror that would quickly appear on their face the moment they witnessed this nightmarish expulsion. Not only is this nasty, it’s unhealthy. Maybe the client wasn’t aware of the fact they even had worms and this moment was the point of discovery. It makes for one helluva traumatic appointment for these two strangers, as well as a lifetime of bad dreams. This is some next-level misery that is well-deserving of a massive tip from the maggot-infested client, and if nothing else, the salon should give the aesthetician a fully paid day (or two) off for mental health reasons.
4 Tapping Out Early
See, this. This right here is why it’s worth keeping the pelt of your beaver. Waxing ignites so many nerve endings at once that it can be overwhelming to take in that level of pain. If after the first strip you’re screaming to the high heavens, regretting the moment you ever decided to give this absurd beauty treatment a try, that’s as good a reason as any to hang up the robe and put your pants back on. It may have wasted her time and the salon’s, but at least she was able to figure out that waxing is just not for her (and save herself the unnecessary dollars). Her friend either has a much higher tolerance for pain, or she did the smart thing and took pain relievers before her appointment.
3 Some Slightly Troubled Youths
Ouch, ouch, ouch! Never trust a couple of teens alone at home, ever. These inexperienced beauty noobs played with fire and got burned. Badly. There is a reason why waxing is so often performed by professionals, turning at-home kits into worthless dust-collectors. Professionals know about all the techniques that are required to ensure a quick and proper patch removal. They are prepared to hold everything the way it needs to be held, apply what needs to be applied, and help you to not perform something so painful on yourself. If you want to wax your legs, go for it. But to any teens who are reading this: please, please, please don’t be careless with your clam. Treat it with respect if you want anyone else to do the same.
2 Not-So-Happy Easter Surprise
We will forever be turned off by the once delicious and desirable treat that is the Cadbury Creme Egg. Easter is ruined, as is our appetite for the foreseeable future. This client has got some serious issues that she needs to sort out before heading to the salon. For one, taking a GD SHOWER. We only hope that in cases like these that women were able to turn a new leaf and solve a much larger problem than the need to schedule a time for some vajayjay maintenance. This infectious gal is making us worry about every female to ever live in a sorority house. Who is caring for these women and teaching them about physical health? Apparently, no one.
1 Delivering Much More Than She Hoped For
That’s something you don’t see everyday! While the client was seemingly acting all nonchalant about her exposed butthole (and intestines), the aesthetician was obvs recoiling in horror. Delivering a baby does put a lot of pressure on women, both physically and mentally, and sometimes our body buckles under the strain. However, these things happen and you move on. But one thing is for sure: you simply don’t take a trek to your local wax specialist and scar her for life by making her see much more of you than she bargained for. They’re beauticians, not doctors. While they have the capabilities of handling a lot of sticky situations (as we’ve learned), nothing can prepare them enough to work around a prolapsed fanny.
Credits: Glamour.com, RebelCircus.com, ThoughtCatalog.com, LittleThings.com, Cosmopolitan.com, Metro.co.uk