Have you ever been in one of those situations where a guy just won’t make his intentions clear? It’s not a fun scenario to be stuck in — on one hand, you really just want some answers more than anything else, but on the other hand, you still want to spend time with him regardless. You don’t want to let this opportunity go to waste, but you also get the sense that you’re not really being treated as well as you deserve. You know that something needs to change — but the truth of the matter is that you’re just not sure of whether you should stay or just give it up and walk away.
Here’s the key — you need to figure out if he’s just being shy and hesitating or if he’s truly stringing you along and taking advantage of your feelings. It may be disappointing if you find out that it’s the latter, but hey, at least you can move on to someone else if you find out that this is the case. How can you tell? Will there be any warning signs to watch out for? Absolutely. Here are 20 signs that he’s stringing her along and she should move on.
20 He Won’t Introduce Her To His Friends
Sure, you don’t have to meet a guy’s friend group right away to prove that it’s real, but according to Cosmopolitan, it is definitely a problem if he seems very reluctant to introduce you to his friends.
If he seems to be weird or hiding you in some way, then that is cause for concern, and you are right to be suspicious of his intentions.
If it seems like he is actively trying to keep you apart from his friend group, well, you already know what’s going on at that point — you can definitely find a guy who treats you better.
19 He Doesn’t Invite Her Over To His Place
When you guys hang out, where do you go? Is it always your place, or does he always want to go out in town somewhere? According to Seventeen, it can definitely be a red flag if he never seems to want you to come to his house.
Sure, he might just not be in the greatest living situation, or he might be having some family issues back at home and not invite visitors over, but if that’s not what’s going on, it might be a sign of trouble.
This isn’t a total dealbreaker, but you should be careful if it happens.
18 He Always Makes Last-Minute Plans With Her
Do you guys make plans in advance to hang out, or is there never any real planning going on? Believe it or not, all of those spontaneous hang outs could actually be a sign that things may not be going as well as they seem. According to Glamour, a guy who is always texting you at the last minute to hang out might be doing it because he sees you as a last resort — in other words, if his other plans fall through, he will text you, but if he has a free night this week, you’re not his first choice.
17 He Ignores Texts And Calls
As every girl knows, a guy who can never seem to text you back on time is a guy who might not actually be super into you. Is it possible that he is just shy or simply prefers talking in person over texting? Sure, both of these are possibilities, but perhaps it’s worth discussing with him because this pattern could also be occurring for another reason. According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who always texts back hours later is typically a guy who just isn’t interested. It’s sad, but it’s true — and a guy like that is probably not going to change.
16 He Starts Telling Little White Lies
Sometimes, it can be hard to tell if a guy is stretching the truth, or if he is being honest. But over time as you get to know a guy, you will realize that it is actually relatively easy to tell. According to Glamour, if you catch a guy telling little white lies, it’s a bad sign right off the bat. Let’s face it, it means that he either doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you to open up to you, or there is something that he is hiding. Either way, it’s not looking good for the two of you and your future.
15 He Doesn’t Care About Meeting Her Friend Group
So, we’ve already established that there might be a problem he seems reluctant to include you in his friend group, but what about the other way around? What if you’re more than happy to invite him to hang out with you and your friends, but he doesn’t seem interested in making the effort? Well, if that’s the case, we’ve got some bad news for you. According to Teen Vogue, if a guy doesn’t seem to care if he meets your friends or not, it means he’s not super interested in really joining your lives together and he probably just wants something casual.
14 He Acts Flirty Around Other Women
Now, it’s wroth pointing out that everyone kind of has different definitions of what constitutes “flirty,” and not everyone will see the same behavior as flirty. Some people have personalities that are just naturally viewed as flirty. According to Cosmopolitan, if your man is always flirting with other women, it’s probably not a good sign. Sure, if you haven’t agreed to be official yet, then he has the right to do it, but it could also mean that he is just stringing you along and really has no interest in making things official in the future. Time to cut your losses.
13 She Puts In Way More Effort To Hang Out With Him
When it comes to relationships, there has to be a 50/50 effort. One person can’t be making all the moves and making all the plans. According to Seventeen, it’s a bad sign if you’re always the one who has to make the plans. He should be reaching out just as often as you are. If you’re always the person who feels like they have to send the first text, pick something to do, or pick up the phone to call, it simply means that he doesn’t care as much as you do — and he’s happy to let you do the work.
12 He Won’t Be Affectionate In Public
It’s understandable that when things first start out, you might not be super affectionate with a guy in public — after all, you two may not have even defined the relationship yet, so you don’t have to “go public.” But if he’s never affectionate in public, not even by throwing an arm around your shoulders, well, according to Glamour, this could be cause for concern. It means that he doesn’t want other women to know that you two have anything going on between them — in other words, he wants other women to think that’s available, single, and totally ready to mingle.
11 He Won’t Define The Relationship
Alright, this one is a major sign, and every girl is familiar with this fateful moment: the moment that you ask, “What are we?” And instead of enthusiastically saying, “I want you to be my girlfriend,” he starts going back and forth about what he does or doesn’t want. Suddenly, it becomes clear that he really has no idea. According to Seventeen, if he won’t define the relationship, you’re with a guy who is basically just dragging his feet and feels totally undecided. He might not be ready to commit to you in the future if this is his mindset.
10 He Acts Strange When She Asks About His Feelings
It’s one thing if a guy can’t decide how he wants to define the relationship, but what if he can’t even figure out his real feelings for you? Well, that’s definitely not a good sign. According to Cosmopolitan, if a guy can’t even bring himself to say that he truly likes you and has feelings for you, it’s probably not going to last. Feeling unsure about putting a label on things is a phase that everyone goes through at the beginning stages of a relationship, but if he can’t even admit that he has feelings for you, you might be in trouble.
9 He Is Super Protective Of His Phone
Look, you should never feel the need to go snooping through a guy’s phone, but it also shouldn’t be a big deal if you need to borrow it every once in a while. What if you need to borrow his phone to make a quick call, and he starts acting pretty strange and even guarding his phone? According to Allure, this type of behavior should instantly set off some alarm bells. It’s not normal for a guy who is loyal to get super weird about what’s on his phone — he should be comfortable with you seeing it and using it.
8 He Doesn’t Want To Meet Her Family
Part of any long-term relationship involves meeting each other’s families. This is just par for the course — you should expect it at a certain point. So according to Teen Vogue, it does look a bit suspicious if a guy shows absolutely zero interest in meeting your family.
It makes it seem like he’s not really in it for the long haul and he’s not taking the relationship as seriously as you are.
At the end of the day, it basically indicates that he is looking at the relationship very casually, and you two are probably not on the same page.
7 He Has Never Asked Her Out On A Real Date
Nowadays, it can seem like going on a real date is a rare occurrence. People don’t always ask each other out for dinner anymore — it seems like staying in with Netflix is way more likely than going out and doing something fun! According to Glamour, keep an eye out for a guy who will take you for a real first date. A guy who doesn’t seem to show any interest in planning something fun with you (and perhaps footing the bill for it) isn’t likely to want to settle down and get serious anytime soon — he’s just stringing you along.
6 He Doesn’t Want To Make Future Plans
Now, this is a major sign that a guy has no interest in actually officially dating you, and he is just stringing you along until he gets bored or finds a girl who is a better fit for him. Does he ever really want to talk about the future with you? According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who constantly shies away from talking about the future is probably not planning on spending it with you. It may sound harsh, but it just might be the truth that you need to hear. Don’t waste your time with a guy who doesn’t truly care.
5 He Won’t Open Up About His Personal Life
Have you ever been hanging out with a guy who you felt like you could tell anything to, but it seems like he just can’t open up to you in the same way? Well, if you think that this feels a bit unfair, your feelings are valid and you might have already realized that this is definitely a red flag. According to Seventeen, a guy who expects you to open up about your whole life but doesn’t seem to care about sharing his personal life with you is probably hiding something big — at the very least, he’s not ready for a relationship.
4 He Still Chats With His Exes
Is it possible to be friends with ex? Sure it is, if both of you parted on amicable terms and have completely moved on as far as your romantic feelings for each other. But according to Cosmopolitan, a guy who still insists on chatting with exes even though it makes you uncomfortable is basically giving you all the red flags that you need.
He’s basically letting you know that he isn’t ready to move on or he just isn’t ready to be in a romantic relationship altogether.
If this is how he’s acting, it’s time for you to back away.
3 He Doesn’t Want To Spend Special Occasions Together
What if you wanted to spend your birthday? What about another holiday or special occasion? Would he be up for it? According to Seventeen, if the answer to that question is no, he is probably stringing you along. Think about it — a guy who truly cares about you and eventually wants to make things official will want to spend special occasions with you, no questions asked. He will be so thrilled that you asked him to be a part of your special day, and he’ll be excited. He won’t be making excuses for why he can’t be there for you.
2 He Says He’s “Not Ready” For A Relationship
If a guy tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship, you need to trust that he is telling the truth, even if it is painful for you to hear. According to Cosmopolitan, a man could be saying this for a few different reasons: he could be making excuses for himself, he could be hung up on an ex, or he might just not be that into you. But either way, it’s a sign that if he continues spending time with you and leading you on, he is basically just stringing you along — and you can do better than that.
1 He Refuses To Make Things Exclusive
At the end of the day, this is the biggest red flag that a guy is stringing you along and has no real interest in you or intentions of asking you to be his girlfriend. According to Allure, there is no better indication that a guy is playing you.
He might expect you to act like his girlfriend, and sometimes, he might even act like he’s your boyfriend, but unless he is ready to roll with the label, there’s a part of him that is holding back for some reason.
When he says he’s not ready, understand that he means it.