Confidence seems to be the key to many of life’s doors. Believing in one's self is said to help people get ahead in the working world, shine in social settings, and feel happy even when people try to bring them down.
Confidence also has a solid reputation when it comes to finding love—this trait has often been cited as the one quality that attracts someone to a potential romantic interest. There are endless reasons to aspire to be confident, but is it possible to actually tell the difference between someone who has confidence and someone who doesn’t?
Confident people speak and move in different ways from those clouded by self-doubt. And in the world of dating, confident women tend to do a number of things differently from women who don’t believe in themselves, don’t know how much they deserve and allow life to stomp all over them.
They say the best way to gain confidence is to fake it until it becomes real, so acting like a self-assured woman while dating someone might just leave a lady feeling that confidence she's been craving. Read on to find out what confident women do differently when playing the love game, and how the average dater can follow the same path.
25 Knowing Her Self-Worth And Accepting Nothing Less Than She Deserves
A confident woman knows what she deserves and doesn’t settle for anything less. She believes in herself and only accepts treatment that fits in with how she views herself.
Even though she may be looking for a partner, she doesn’t really need one.
The person she’s looking for will enhance her life and make it more exciting, not complete it altogether. She knows she has a lot to offer and doesn’t allow others to make her feel bad about herself.
24 Making The First Move
Making the first move is traditionally seen as something that a male does, while females tend to take a more passive role in the dating game and wait to be pursued. But a confident woman isn’t confined by tradition. If she sees someone she’s interested in, she feels comfortable enough to make the first move. And although it may be scary, she pushes through the fear because she focuses on the end result of possibly meeting someone who will improve her life.
23 Being Herself Rather Than Hiding Herself
Confidence is all about accepting yourself and embracing the things that make you unique. So when a woman is confident, she doesn’t try to hide who she is while on a date.
She knows she’s good enough, and that’s all that matters.
If the person she’s seeing judges her for being herself, or can’t handle any aspect of her personality, then she knows they’re not for her and she moves on. But she refuses to live a charade and pretend to be someone she’s not.
22 Messing Up, And Admitting It
We all make mistakes. Being confident doesn’t mean that you’re perfect, and whether you love yourself or not, you will mess up from time to time. But the difference between a confident woman and a woman who doesn’t believe in herself is that the confident woman is big enough to admit that she did something wrong, and learn from her mistakes. The woman who is scared to make mistakes, on the other hand, feels so bad when she messes up that she tries to avoid taking responsibility.
21 Resisting The Urge To Trash Her Exes
It is tempting to trash talk your ex to the new person you’re dating, especially if you have a lot to say. But nobody ever wins in that situation—your ex is getting trashed behind their back, and you look like you have a chip on your shoulder, to say the least.
Confident women rise above negativity like that and direct the conversation toward a positive path.
They don’t need to drag others down in order to feel better about themselves.
20 Wearing What Makes Her Comfortable, Not What’s Expected
When it comes to clothes, makeup, and style, a confident woman wears what feels comfortable to her, not what society or her date expects her to wear. She might feel her best in flat shoes and a loose dress, or she might feel like she can conquer the world in sky-high heels. Similarly, she might feel the most empowered with a bare face, or with a contoured one. What matters is that she dresses according to how she feels and not what others think.
19 Being Honest Rather Than Saying What Seems Right
Honesty can be a hard policy to stick to, especially when a lie is easier to tell than giving up the truth.
But confident women tend to tell the truth while dating someone because they don’t give in to the pressure to lie.
They’re not driven by the desperation to be liked and approved of, so they don’t typically feel like they have to say things that earn them validation and brownie points. Instead, they tell it like it is.
18 Making Decisions Instead Of Leaving It Up To Her Date
You know that never-ending discussion that some couples get trapped in: “Where should we eat?” “You pick!” “No, you pick!” “No, you pick!” Well, a confident woman is having none of that. That’s not to say that she dominates the relationship, but she feels comfortable enough to voice her opinion on most matters. She knows that if you don’t ask, you won’t receive, so she doesn’t feel bad saying exactly where she wants to go or what she wants to do.
17 Not Acting Desperate For Her Date’s Attention Or Anyone Else’s
People who suffer from a lack of confidence might feel like they need compliments and attention from other people in order to feel like they’re worth anything.
A woman struggling with this kind of thing needs to have her date tell her that she looks pretty—she can’t make herself feel good with her own validation.
So insecure women tend to do things that they know will draw in their date’s attention, while confident women aren’t as reliant on it.
16 Dealing With Conflict In A Mature Way
All relationships come with conflict. Especially if you’re a confident woman who says what’s on her mind, there are bound to be times when you and your partner are tangled in arguments. The difference is that a confident woman handles conflict in a mature way. She talks through the issues she has and answers to criticism. By comparison, another type of woman might be too scared to say what she’s really upset about or overreact when she’s called out on her behavior.
15 Actually Listening To What’s Being Said On A Date
While on a date, a confident woman tends to listen to her partner. She only dates people she’s genuinely interested in, and so she cares about what they have to say.
On the other hand, a woman who’s just on the date because she’s afraid of being lonely might not be as inclined to pay attention to the small details.
Although a confident woman is not afraid to talk as well, she doesn’t feel the need to overwhelm the conversation by doing all of the talking and none of the listening.
14 Paying Or Going Dutch
With so many different opinions on the issue of who should really pay for a date, there will never be a universal right answer agreed upon by everybody. But part of being confident is taking responsibility for yourself and looking after yourself, so it makes sense that a confident woman would be happy to pay for the date or pay her own way, at least some of the time. This is particularly true if she’s the one who initiated the date.
13 Not Being Scared To Be On Her Own
A woman who has self-confidence doesn’t feel like she needs somebody else to complete her, and so she’s not afraid of being alone.
Because of this, whenever she’s treated poorly, she does something about it rather than just letting it continue because she’s scared of being single.
She might try talking to her partner and sorting out the issue, but ultimately, she would rather be by herself than with someone who takes her for granted and doesn’t make her happy.
12 Holding Her Own Around Exes And Competition
Since a confident woman believes in herself and knows that she’s got a lot to offer, she doesn’t crumble under jealousy. She might feel jealous every now and then, but she doesn’t let it consume her. When her partner’s exes come into the picture, she doesn’t feel so threatened that she takes drastic measures like banning the mere mention of them. Similarly, if her partner has female friends, she can hold her own and avoid feeling overly jealous or intimidated.
11 Actually Accepting Compliments
Perhaps in the interest of not wanting to look stuck up, people have learned to reject compliments instead of accepting them.
But a hallmark sign of someone who is confident is to be able to accept it when someone says something nice because they know it’s true.
There’s a line between being confident and arrogant, but we think if someone else brings up something about you that they like, it never hurts to say a simple thank you rather than denying it.
10 Kissing Rather Than Waiting To Be Kissed
At the end of the date, when it’s time for the kiss, a lot of gals feel like they shouldn’t be the one to make the move. They think it’s the guy’s job. A woman who’s confident goes after everything she wants, and that includes kisses and other physical signs of affection, like holding hands for example. She obviously doesn’t force it if her advances are rejected, but she’s more inclined to make the move rather than complaining because nothing happened.
9 Saying No When She Wants To
In the same way that a confident woman knows what she wants and goes after it, she also knows that it’s her right to say no to what she doesn’t want. She’s not as likely to get pressured into doing things she doesn’t want to do.
We all have boundaries, and she respects hers.
Ultimately, she knows that it’s better to lose someone who’s clearly not right for her than to impress them by doing something she’s not comfortable with.
8 Not Losing Her Identity
A lot of people can lose their identity and sense of self when they start dating someone new, but this doesn’t happen to a confident woman. She doesn’t have to stop being herself just because she’s with someone new, even if they’re different from her. While she might adopt some new habits if they work out for her and make her life better, she doesn’t put her whole identity into her relationship and lose her friends, family, job, and hobbies in the process.
7 Having A Sense Of Humor And Not Taking Things Personally
The more insecure someone is, the more likely they are to take things personally. When a woman is confident, she tends not to overreact to things.
Of course, she doesn’t allow a date to walk all over her, and she calls out toxic behavior when she sees it.
But at the same time, she doesn’t take herself too seriously and can have a laugh about things. She shrugs more things off because she doesn’t value anyone’s opinion as much as her own.
6 Brushing It Off If It Doesn’t Work Out
When a relationship doesn’t work out, a woman who’s confident knows that it’s not the end of the world. She’s aware of all the things about her that are amazing, and she knows the right one is out there for her somewhere. Sure, she might be upset if something she felt strongly about wasn’t meant to be, but she doesn’t hold it against herself. She knows that she’s loveable and that her next opportunity at a great relationship is not far away.
5 Confident Women Don't: Bend Over Backwards To Accommodate Someone Else
A woman who lacks confidence tends to bend over backwards to meet the demands of her date. She feels lucky to be on the date in the first place and might have an inferiority complex.
In order to be accepted and liked—because she can’t handle being rejected—she’ll pretty much do anything that her date asks of her.
While it’s nice to be accommodating, gracious and considerate, letting someone walk all over you isn’t usually the way to earn their respect.
4 Confident Women Don't: Start Fights, Just To Get Attention
If a woman is insecure, she’s more likely to get her back up when she feels threatened. Any time that conflict rises in the relationship, there’s a chance she could go on the attack and turn it around to make it seem like her partner is in the wrong. In her mind, this reduces the possibility that she’ll be called out on what she’s done wrong, and she’ll be less likely to lose the relationship she clings to so tightly.
3 Confident Women Don't: Put Up With Getting Bailed On Last Minute
Generally speaking, a confident woman doesn’t feel the need to put up with behavior that is stressful and toxic, which includes getting bailed on at the last minute.
She knows she deserves better, and she would rather be alone.
An insecure woman, on the other hand, tends to be more wary of being single and might feel that she needs a relationship to be happy. In many cases, she would rather be in an unhappy relationship than be alone, so she puts up with that toxic behavior instead of leaving.
2 Confident Women Don't: Overanalyze His Texts
Don’t panic: most people are guilty of overanalyzing texts from people they really like. If you’ve done this before, it doesn’t mean you’re not confident! It’s just that confident women don’t let that kind of thing consume their life. Although they might feel an urge to read deeply into a text, they brush it off and don’t allow themselves to worry about it. When a woman lacks confidence, she’s more likely to read into every little thing because she expects there to be an underlying problem.
1 Confident Women Don't: Always Talk Themselves Up
Boasting might seem like a thing that a confident person does, but it’s not really. In reality, when a person brags about what they have, or what they are, they’re trying to draw it to people’s attention, which means they’re probably looking for validation.
A confident woman doesn’t need people to tell her she’s great because she already knows she is.
On the other hand, an insecure woman might talk herself up too much on a date, because she’s fishing for compliments and approval.
Sources: Bustle, Bolde