There’s a wealth of unknown battles in parenting. From the time our children learn to walk until they’re adults, parents are faced with the challenge of raising their kid(s) to be as considerate, healthy, responsible, and well adjusted as possible. Growing up, our kids are influenced by everything around them. From friends, school, television shows, books, video games and even parents. Knowing we can’t shelter our kids from everything (no matter how tempting it may be at times), and wanting to provide safe and realistic boundaries for what our kids are exposed to can leave us as parents in a bit of a bind when it comes to what we allow our children to do and say. Even when we do everything we can to prevent our kids from being whiney, materialistic, having poor time management skills or being superficial, we often find ourselves facing these very problems with our kids because there are so many outside influences in their lives that eventually, these problems can just develop. Not only does addressing these issues promptly help our kids overcome bad habits, but it helps us as parents understand how we influence their impressionable young minds.
19 Materialism
Living in a world full of push notifications and instant access to most any information you could want, it’s easy to understand how people can quickly become fascinated with the “next big thing.” Whether it be a cell phone, tablet, video game system, shoes or a new designer clothing line, today’s marketing is saturated with the hottest trends. Often times, companies target kids because they know that not only will kids become hooked on having the latest and greatest items, but that kids can quickly adapt to new technology and trends. Your kids can quickly go from not knowing or caring about brand names and fashion trends to feeling that the cell phones, jeans and shoes they have are a direct reflection of who they are as a person. Material items can easily make kids feel part of a collective community.
18 Money Problems
Part of growing up is learning the responsibility of saving and spending money wisely. When kids start working, they can easily start falling into a cycle of spending because they don’t have many bills to take care of. They see parents, celebrities and other adults spending money on expensive items without seeing the hard work and planning that goes into purchasing those items. This allure of spending money coupled with the seemingly endless flow of credit card offers, allowances, and first jobs that provide more money than our kids need to pay their bills can easily influence them to get into a cycle of spending that’s hard to break. Instilling the importance of savings and not rushing to spend money can help your kids curb the urge to spend their money as soon as they have it.
17 Diet Obsessed
Being healthy is something most everyone wants for their kids. No one wants their kids to grow up with health problems that can be prevented by a healthy lifestyle. Whether parents are fitness enthusiasts or not, the influence of sports, friends, celebrities and hashtags like #fitspo, #thinspo and other online fitness trends can quickly make our kids obsessed with how “clean” or “healthy” their diet is. Instead of eating a balanced, healthy diet and living life, our kids can become obsessed with tracking macros, trying extreme diets, and following online celebrities who encourage diets that may be healthy to some extent, but are not healthy overall. Not only is it important to teach our kids about healthy eating habits from a young age, but it is also important that we keep track of our kids relationship with food.
16 Poor Coping Skills
Everyone loses their temper from time to time. School, friends, relationships and work stress all cause us to feel overwhelmed at times. These influences coupled with the dramatic roller coaster of hormones that kids are constantly coping with make it easy for kids to feel that they aren’t completely in control of their emotions. If you have a short temper with your kids, or your kids are around people who quickly go from calm to barking orders and lashing out, they will quickly follow suit. Without teaching our kids positive and effective ways to cope with stress, they will emulate the bad coping skills we (or others in their lives) exhibit.
15 Junk Food Binging
Treating ourselves to indulgent food is something of a luxury. Knowing that deserts, chips, and other unhealthy foods are not something we have every day makes it easy to romanticize the experience of having these foods. With junk food ads targeted to kids for their convenience and misleading labels that tout the minimal nutritional value of these foods, kids become hooked on junk food. It’s easy to grab a bag of chips for an after school snack instead of taking the time to peel and cut up carrots. The convenience wins out and the addictive qualities of sugary foods make it all too easy for kids to want to binge on junk food. In an article titled “Why is Sugar So Addictive?”, BBC Science noted that from infancy, we prefer sugary tastes to savory tastes and that seeking out sugar (glucose) may be part of our survival instincts because glucose is an important nutrient. If your kid begins to binge on junk food, it’s important to help them reprogram their eating habits to reduce the amount of junk food they eat so that they can keep their bodies healthy and properly fueled.
14 Gossiping
Gossip is something that people find both entertaining and relieving. Even when gossip is not ill intentioned, the ability to vent, analyze (and criticize) other’s experiences makes us feel validated and that our opinions and actions matter. When kids overhear adult conversations about parenting choices, how kids behave and even criticism of celebrities, they see the allure and gratification of gossiping. Kids notice that gossiping can make them feel included in a group and help them keep from being an outcast. When a new student comes into school or someone at school is different from everyone else, gossip quickly follows. Our kids don’t always see the harm in talking about someone behind their back, but if not remedied, gossip can quickly turn into bullying.
13 Being Cliquey
One of the hardest aspects of growing up is the divide that comes between kids. From differences in cultural and religious beliefs to having different interests, kids that once played together constantly can drift apart. Instead of simply seeing that people can be different and grow to like different things, kids can become absorbed in cliques. Living in a world that loves labels and being accepted into certain groups, it’s easy for kids to become attached to the idea of being part of a clique because it makes them feel included and safe during a time in their lives that is full of uncertainty and changes. While making friends and feeling included is important, if our kids don’t learn the importance of accepting other’s differences, they can become rude and hurtful toward others.
12 Body Image
Noticing their bodies in ways they may not have seen before, kids can become self conscious about how they look. Whether it’s hitting puberty early, being thinner, heavier set, taller or shorter than their peers, kids quickly learn that there is a standard of appearance that is closely tied to how we see our own worth. With magazine covers, workout programs and and endless array of television shows catered toward the importance of looking a certain way, our kids are taught that physical beauty is more important than personality or even health. When we as parents make our appearance a high priority, our kids see that they need to fit the mold of how society wants them to look too. PBS notes in their article “Raising a Girl with a Positive Body Image” that focusing on who your kid is and what makes them special is a productive way to combat body image issues.
11 Excessive Exercise
Exercise should be a part of everyone’s life. Whether it’s play a sport, walking, or another leisure activity that keeps you active, having a regular exercise routine is important to your health. Kids can quickly go from having a positive attitude about exercise to becoming obsessed with exercise. In their article titled “Compulsive Exercise”, HealthyKids.org notes that an easy way to see if your kid has a potentially unhealthy relationship with exercise is whether or not your kid exercises for fun or if they feel they have an obligation to work out. If your kid is avoiding other activities and placing too much importance on working out, they may have a problem that requires attention from their primary health professional.
10 Not Exercising
Kids can become uninterested in exercise for a variety of reasons. Whether it’s an injury keeping them from participating in a sport they love, a medical condition limiting their options for how they can exercise, or being involved in activities that promote being inactive, kids can quickly go from having a good relationship with exercise to being lazy and inactive. If your kid isn’t interested in exercise, you’re not alone. According to an article titled “Most Young Kids Don’t Get Enough Exercise” published by WebMd, a survey showed that more than 70% of kids ages 5 to 10 don’t get the recommended sixty minutes of daily exercise recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). The easiest way to remedy inactivity is to get active with your kids. Whether it’s paintball games, capture the flag, dance or going for a walk, find something your kids enjoy to get them active again.
9 Underage Drinking
Underage drinking is a problem no parent wants to have to address with their children. Even when we talk to our kids about the severe legal and health consequences of underage drinking, the influence of their peers, wanting to feel mature, and the correlation of drinking and acceptance that’s become a constant in television, music videos, and film makes it easy for kids to ignore our warnings. On their website, The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) noted that in 2013, over 5 million people between the ages of 12 and 20 admitted to binge drinking. If you are concerned that your kid has a drinking problem or that they are starting to drink, seek professional help immediately.
8 Smoking
With all of the advertisements on the dangers of cigarette smoking, it would seem that not smoking would be a standard for kids. Whether it’s seeing a relative, close friend, or a favorite celebrity smoking, kids can push aside the health benefits of not smoking in favor of feeling cool. In their article “Why Kids Start”, The American Lung Association cites parent smokers, peer pressure, rebellion, and cigarette ads aimed at teens as primary factors for kids starting a smoking habit. Even if our kids are smoking other substances, electronic cigarettes, or using a vaporizer, smoking is detrimental to their health. Any smoking habit deserves prompt attention to help your kid kick the habit as soon as possible.
7 Neglecting Chores
Everyone has chores they dislike. From doing dishes to mowing the lawn or washing windows, there’s something that you want to put off until you absolutely have to get it done. When your kids see you griping about a chore you hate or doing whatever you can to get out of it, they might start mimicking your behavior. When interviewed for the WebMD article “Children’s Chores: Getting Help Around the House”, James Sears, MD recommends using chores to help teach your kids life skills about being responsible. If you’re having a hard time motivating your kids to do their least favorite chores, try carving out a set time of day for everyone in your house to do chores together so they don’t feel like they’re the only one pulling their weight.
6 Procrastinating
Procrastinating can be an art form. Whether we as parents procrastinate or not, kids many kids have an affinity for putting things off until the last minute. While some studies, such as the work of Dr. John Perry notes in the New York Times article “Positive Procrastination, Not an Oxymoron” point to fact that procrastination isn’t always as negative as we make it out to be, it’s hard to see the benefit of delaying responsibilities until the absolute last minute. We know the unnecessary stress that procrastinating can put on our kids, making us want to teach them the benefits of getting things done early. If your kid is notorious for procrastinating, try and give them structured time each day to work on upcoming tasks and show them that working on things little by little can give them more leisure time.
5 Poor Time Management
Making it out to the school bus without a minute to spare, announcing the need for a ride to work that’s half an hour away only fifteen minutes before their shift starts, or simply not remembering important events are all ways kids display poor time management skills. They may pick up the habit from us as parents, as many of us struggle to juggle our work and family lives, or they may see others have such a relaxed attitude to time sensitive tasks that they don’t feel the need to pay attention to the time. If your kid is notoriously late, set their watch a couple of minutes fast or set alarms on their phone to remind them to leave on time for important events. Having good time management skills yourself and staying consistent with your family’s schedule is a great way to help encourage your kids to have better time management skills.
4 Repeating Phrases
Communication is a vital part of everyone’s lives. Our ability to communicate with one another allows us to feel understood and gives us a simple way to express ourselves. While we may monitor what our kids watch and read, who they hang out with, and the music they listen to in an attempt to make sure they don’t pick up bad language habits and phrases, it’s easy for parents to forget that what parents say themselves can have an impact on what their kids use in everyday language. Suddenly, you may hear your kid say “Why would you do that?” or “Just give me a break” in the same annoyed, tired inflection that you use yourself. If this becomes a problem in your house, take it as an opportunity to talk to your kids about the importance of expressing themselves and find ways you can both work on improving your communication skills.
3 Complaining
Complaining is something everyone does from time to time. It can feel good to whine a bit about our feelings and vent our frustrations. When our kids complain, it can be unnerving. Regardless of why they’re complaining, a kid’s complaints are as valid to them as our own complaints feel to us as adults. It can be especially annoying when our kids complain in the same way that we do, as it often causes us to feel guilty. In a WebMd article called “Why Kids Whine and How To Stop Them”, Dr. Laurel Schultz recommends addressing your child’s complaints before they get to the point of whining and being frustrated. The idea is that if you address a potential problem while your child is still listening and being as rational as possible, you can quickly defuse their frustration and make things go smoothly.
2 Being Picky About Foods You Hate
Helping our children to lead a healthy lifestyle can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. From engaging them in physical actives they enjoy to eating a balanced diet, there’s a world of influences and convenient by unhealthy choices that make it hard to keep your child ahead of the curve when it comes to being healthy. One of the ways that parents can undermine healthy eating habits without realizing it is by being picky and negative about certain foods. When we as parents complain and make healthy foods sound unappealing, our kids are more likely to form negative associations with that food. If there’s a food you and your child (or whole family!) love to hate, try preparing it in new ways that include foods you all enjoy. Stop trashing healthy food in your day to day conversations and show your kids that being open minded can help you enjoy a food you used to hate.
1 Swearing
Few things can be as embarrassing for a parent as their kid swearing in public. Even if everyone around you thinks that its funny that your child just dropped an f bomb, you are likely to feel mortified by their language. If you know your kids aren't around anyone in their everyday lives that swears, but don’t know where they’re picking up crass language, look at the television shows they’re watching or the music they’re listening too. Instead of just taking these things away (assuming you feel these things are otherwise age appropriate), talk to your child about how you can use more tasteful language to express themselves.
Sources: bbc.co.uk, pbs.org, webmd.com, nytimes.com
