So, you've met this guy, maybe you've even spent some time with him, and you begin to realize that you like him. You really like him. In fact, you think the two of you make the perfect couple. There's just one problem; he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend. You begin to wonder if maybe he has a commitment phobia, and how you can convince him you're the right girl for him.
Bad news: nothing you can do or say will ever make a guy be with you if he doesn't want to. You can't trick a guy into a relationship. Good news: while you can't manipulate a relationship to work in your favor, there are a few things you can do in order to nudge him into considering making you his girlfriend.
The trick to getting him to commit is to make him want to be with you. If he wants to be with you, he will be. But he has to feel that he came to this decision on his own. Lucky for you, there’re a few things you can do that can help sway his decision. When it comes down to it, even the non-committal guys are all seeking similar qualities in a girlfriend. These are the eighteen ways you'll be able to get him to enter a relationship with you.
18 Work It Out As Friends First
This may seems scary to some, as both guys and girls alike fear getting caught in the dreaded friend-zone! Truth be told, the friend-zone is wildly exaggerated. You ever hear deeply in love couples describe their significant other as "their best friend?" The reason behind this is all relationships have to have a level of friendship at their base. So, if you want to commit to you, you'll have to start off as friends. This doesn't mean you should try to be "one-of-the-boys." However, being friends means talking to one another, and even casually hanging out. Guys, generally, appreciate taking a slow approach to relationships. By taking the friendship route he will start to get to know you better, leading him to like you more, which is a step closer to commitment!
17 No Guy Likes Drama: Keep Things Light And Fun
No one wants a drama-filled relationship, especially not guys. If you want him to commit to you, you'll have to show him that you can be carefree and easygoing. If you want a guy to commit to you, you'll have to show him that being with you is light-hearted and fun. Smiling, laughing, and having an overall good time will have him wanting to spend more time with you. The more time he wants to spend with you, the more likely he is to commit to a relationship with you. Everyone worries about committing to the wrong person, which is why some people fear getting involved in relationships. However, if he associates a carefree and fun time when he thinks of you, then taking that step toward a committed relationship with you won't seem like such a scary thought to him!
16 Be A Little Mysterious (Or A Lot...)
Even guys that want structure and stability in a relationship, get bored easy prior to stepping into relationship territory. That means if you want him to want you, you'll have to stand out and keep him interested. Sounds a bit complicated, right? Well, it's not as complex as you may think. The best way to keep him intrigued by you is to remain a bit of an enigma. If you share everything about yourself right away, there's no mystery to unravel. Keep him guessing. Share just enough about yourself that he's going to want to know more. He'll keep communication going and look to spend time with you in hopes of understanding you better. Curiosity will spark his initial interest in you, and taking the time to unravel the layers of what makes you who you are will keep him invested. That means you will be on his mind.
15 Reverse Psychology Can Work In Your Favor
We generally want what we can't have. The same goes for guys in a relationship. When girls want to make a guy their boyfriend, they can come across as clingy, needy, and desperate to make him settle down with her. That's the most effective way to send your man running. Now, don't think this means you have to show absolutely zero interest in him, actually that may lead to the opposite of what you want, as well. The trick here is to still show you have some interest in him but are indifferent to whether or not he is. This is not a game you need to play; you just have to live your life. Don't focus all your energy or make your life revolve around making him your boyfriend. Guys are interested in girls they think they’ll have to win over. He'll take your aloofness as a challenge to make you want to be with him.
14 Live Your Best Life, And He'll Want To Join Along
You should be the center of your life, not some guy! That means you need to do the things that you like to do. Keep yourself occupied with building your career, spending time with friends and family, enjoying your hobbies, setting off on an adventure, or taking time for a nice relaxing vacation. No matter what it is, make sure you are doing what you want to do with your life. Guys are more likely to commit to girls that have goals, aspirations, and do their own thing. While you may think guys want you to show your interest in them by always making yourself available for them, you're wrong. Men find women who have ambitions and lead their own lives to be extremely attractive!
13 Be So Confident It Scares Him A Little
Confidence is attractive, especially for men. Confidence allows you to be yourself, and live your own life. We've already established the latter two attract men, and that all stems from confidence. No guy worth dating wants a girl who relies on him to define her worth. Being self-assured and knowing that despite your want to date him you don't need to will go along way in impressing your guy. Allowing your natural confidence to shine through, will help you feel good about yourself. Confidence is contagious, and seeing that you are comfortable with who you are, allows him to see and value your worth. This makes him all the more likely to want you to be his girlfriend. After all, confidence is key!
12 Don't Place Your Expectations On Him, It'll Spook Him
If you want him to choose to be in a relationship with you, you cannot place your expectations on him. That means just because you want him to be your boyfriend, you can't make that an expectation for the relationship. If you want the commitment, you need to accept going with the flow and allowing the relationship to progress on it's own. Ignore the dating rules on how long it should take him to text back. If you begin placing expectations on how long it takes him to text back, or when he is going to have the talk that makes your relationship official, you'll be quicker to drive him away. Take a breath, live you life and let him grow more secure in the relationship. He'll commit to the girl who can roll with the punches, not force things to be the way she wants.
11 Show Him He's The Most Important Thing For You
You don't need to tell him that you love him and want to be his girlfriend; you just need to show him that you can be there for him. Take a genuine interest in the things he likes, things he's passionate about, and even how his day has been. Listen to his concerns and problems. Be someone he feels comfortable confiding in, and offer the support he needs. To show you care about him, you just have to be there for him. Letting him know you care, and showing you can be someone he relies on is a surefire way to win him over. If you want him to be in a relationship with you, you need to show him you care. Guys will commit to the girl he can trust and who proves through her actions that she cares about him.
10 Get Along With His Friends
If you don't get along with his friends, you also probably don't stand a chance of him committing to you. Guys are very loyal to their friends, so don't try to come between them or try to give him the ultimatum of you or his friends; because in that case he will choose his friends. Guys, in most cases, rely on their friends’ approval before getting serious with a girl. And his friends want to make sure his best interests are being looked after. That means they'll let him know if they think the girl he is into is fake, rude, or simply not a good match for him. To impress his friends you'll just have to be yourself, as they can sense when you're being genuine or not. If you manage to get the friends' stamp of approval you'll be that much closer to getting the commitment you want.
9 A Little 'Jealousy Test' Never Hurt Anybody
If you want to make him yours, the way to do so is through the jealousy test. The jealousy test works is, you not trying to make him jealous. That's right, the test falls on you. Guys don't want to be with a girl who plays games. That means flaunting other men around in order to show you can have any man you want, isn't going to make him want you. In fact, this will lead him to seeing you as the opposite of the relationship type of girl. Don't encourage attention from other guys with the intention of making him want you. However, this doesn't mean he might not get jealous of other guys giving you attention, even if you're not showing interest in them - which you shouldn't be if you're trying to get your man to commit. If he's interested in you, and sees other guys are too, he'll be quicker to make you his.
8 Stop Talking About Him To Your Friends, And Do Something About It
We've all been there, wrapped up in the prospect of a new relationship, eager to share everything he's ever said with our friends. Well, this may not be the best move for your relationship with your man. There's nothing wrong with telling your friends things are going well with your love life, but keeping them up to speed on every single detail is the best way to lead guys out of relationships. People talk, and the more people out there who know about your personal relationship business, only creates more problems in the relationship. Privacy, as hard as it might be to keep, will definitely strengthen the bond between you and your soon to be boyfriend. Showing you value his and the relationship's privacy will make him feel more comfortable and secure with you, which will make him more inclined to commit to you.
7 Become A Part Of His Life
This seems a bit redundant, doesn't it? After being a part of his life is sort of the prime idea. However, before he makes the decision to make you his girlfriend, he will have to see you already as an intricate part of his life. This will take time. Don't force yourself into his life! That being said, consistently spending time together or daily communication is the best way to become a part of his life. Even a simple "good morning" or "how was your day?" text every day will do the trick. Eventually, talking to you will become routine, and he'll be anticipating the time of your conversations. He'll even wonder what happened if he doesn't hear from you, missing a part of his daily routine. Seeing you as a part of his life, will help him come to the realization that he will need to officially commit to this relationship for fear of losing you.
6 Respect His Privacy, Don't Become Too Nosey
If you want a relationship to work you have to have respect for one another. You have to show him you respect his boundaries. This means you let him open up to you at his own pace. Don't push him into doing anything, especially not for a commitment; he will shut down if you do. You also need to respect his privacy. As in never go through his phone. Regardless, if you're dating or not, snooping through his phone is never okay. Not only are you showing him that you don't trust him but you are also showing you don't respect his privacy as well. If you want him to commit, then you'll have to be vulnerable enough to trust and respect him. If you are able to give him the time he needs to open up, and are able to respect him and his privacy, then he will know you're worth taking the step into relationship territory.
5 Make Him Work For It
Guys love a challenge. They also love to get something that they've invested their time and energy for. So, if you want him to be with you, then you're going to have to make him work for it. Yes, we already know that you're the one who is technically trying to make him want the relationship; however, he doesn't need to know that. There's no need to string him along for long. Just let him work to convince you to be his girlfriend. Allowing him to take the initiative to pursue you will make him all the more ready to commit when you finally agree. After all, he will feel the need to fully commit to the relationship, as it's a product of the effort he put in to win over your heart!
4 Show Your Appreciation For Everything He Does For You
Don't let the man put all the work into this relationship. If he feels the relationship will be a one-way street, you can forget the chances of him committing to you. You don't have to do anything major, but showing you care, and that you appreciate him will go a long way. From the occasional gift, to a kiss on the cheek, to a hug, to just simply saying "thank you," letting him know you appreciate him will mean a lot. No one wants to feel like they're being taken for granted, and if you want him to be with you then you definitely cannot take him for granted. Just showing that you care about him, and that you appreciate him will make him feel special. And if you're the girl who makes him feel special, he will definitely be looking to keep you around and make you his girlfriend!
3 Get His Mom's Approval
If you have the privilege of meeting his mom, before officially being his girlfriend, do not take that for granted. Most guys are big momma's boys at heart. That means they take their mother's approval of their potential girlfriends very seriously. Not to worry, there's one thing you can do that will definitely help you get his mother's approval; be yourself. Everything comes back to being yourself. When it comes to moms they have a superpower of finding disingenuous friends and potential partners. Looking out for her son, if she senses you're not being genuine she will raise major red flags on this potential relationship. That can end your almost relationship immediately. However, if you are yourself and you get his mom's approval, you can bet she'll be encouraging him to make you his girlfriend. And truth be told, with his mom's approval, he most likely will!
2 Accept Him For Who He Is
This should be obvious but, surprisingly, most people overlook the obvious. You should never enter a relationship expecting the other person to change. So don't think the moment you have a commitment from the guy you've had your sights on, that he will suddenly change. And do not try to mold him into the guy you want him to be. He is who he is. Don't expect your relationship to last long, or to even begin if you can't accept him as is. That being said, if he knows that you do accept him for who he is, the good, the bad, and all his little quirks; then he will feel completely comfortable and secure in a relationship with you. And that's all it takes to get him to be in a committed relationship with you!
1 Be Who You Want To Be, Not Who He Wants You To Be
Last but not least: Be Yourself! This may sound like some overly used cliché, but it's true. If you want a guy to commit to you, you need to be one-hundred percent, unapologetically yourself. This means don't pretend to be interested in something you know nothing about just because he is. In fact, guys would much rather introduce you to their favorite music, sports teams, or even places to eat if you've never heard of them, than have you lie about it. Guys want girls who are real, and genuine. They value honesty, and when you show who you really are, quirks and all, he will feel comfortable around you - which will lead to him wanting to spend more time with you. Besides, if you're looking for a commitment you're going to want him to want you just as you are!
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