A bunch of red roses, a box of elegant chocolates (hopefully with caramel inside), and dinner at a restaurant that is impossible to get reservations at. These are all the hallmarks of romance, and we can get really caught up in expecting these things to happen in a relationship. Fortunately, there are some guys who love romance as much as we do and they are more than happy to craft the perfect card for an anniversary or cook a great meal.
But unfortunately, there are other guys who just don't feel comfortable making romantic gestures or getting all mushy and emotional about the relationship. There are many ways to figure out what kind of boyfriend we have. Is he just as much of a hopeless romantic as we are, or is he never going to go down that path because it's just not him at all?
It's definitely crucial for us to figure this out so we can manage our expectations. Just because someone isn't romantic doesn't mean that they don't love us and that we don't have an otherwise happy relationship.
Here are 18 signs that prove he'll never be a romantic, and two that show he might change.
20 He Complains About His Coupled Up Friends
It's very likely that our boyfriend isn't going to be the romantic type when he complains about his coupled up friends. He could complain about them every day, or every once in a while, but it still says that he's not comfortable with romance.
He might say that his friends can't spend as much time with him or have changed too much since starting a relationship or other things that seem pretty negative. It's not much fun to hear him say these things, so we might want to tell him that we'd love it if he could be more positive.
19 He Never Wants To Double Date
If our boyfriend says no whenever we ask him what he thinks about double dating with some friends, that's another sign that he's never going to be the romantic type. It seems like being around other couples makes him feel pretty uncomfortable. He doesn't want other people to watch how we interact or how affectionate we are with each other.
If we ask him why he doesn't think that this sounds like a fun way to spend a Saturday night, he might not have a real answer. He could just shrug. He might think it would be too much and he'd rather hang out with his friends on their own without their significant others there.
18 He Forgets Our Anniversary Every Month (And Year)
Do we love celebrating our anniversary every month, saying how great it is that we've been dating for six months, seven months, and so on? Or do we think that anniversaries should only be noted each year that passes?
No matter where we stand on the whole anniversary thing, we probably want to celebrate at least sometimes with our boyfriend. When he always forgets these milestones and can't ever say how long we've been dating, it's another sign that he's never going to be the romantic type. It's just not something that feels super important to him. He knows that we love each other and we're together, but he doesn't want to be more romantic than that.
17 He Flinches When We Go In For A Couple Selfie
Does our boyfriend flinch and move away from us when we try to take a selfie of the two of us? We might just think that he's a bit camera shy... or maybe he's not having the best hair day.
Sure, those things could be true. But most of the time, he's probably acting this way because he's not that romantic. He doesn't want us to post a photo of the two of us on social media so others can comment. He doesn't want all of the attention. Sure, we could try to explain to him that the attention would be positive and that our friends are happy for us... but it's definitely a lot easier to just accept that he's not really into romance.
16 He Doesn't Say 'I Love You' Super Frequently
Another sign that he's never going to be the romantic type is if he doesn't say that he loves us very often. Of course, this doesn't mean that he doesn't feel that way about us. He just doesn't feel like it's super necessary to say it all the time. He might even feel this way because we've been together for a few years so he figures that we know that he loves us a lot.
Maybe we're okay with this and we know that this is just his personality. Or maybe we worry that he doesn't actually love us. If that's the case, we should definitely talk to him about it.
15 He Might Change: He Expresses His Love For Us Every Once In A While
If he says that he loves us every once in a while, then it's totally possible that he could become more romantic.
Maybe he's not the most romantic guy in the world because we've only been together for less than a year and so he's still becoming more comfortable with the relationship. He could want to take it slow. Or maybe the opposite is true and it's been one or two years, so he thinks that he doesn't have to say "I love you" every day.
At the very least, this gives us some hope, and we can talk to him about how we want to hear him say that he loves us more often than just every once in a blue moon.
14 He Doesn't Like Date Nights And Would Prefer To Stay Home
While it's totally possible for romantic guys to love date nights in, it's much more likely that our boyfriend prefers to stay in because he's not the romantic type.
If we think about it, this makes a lot of sense, right? He doesn't want to go to a fancy restaurant and eat by candlelight, he doesn't want to get dressed up and fix up his hair, and he doesn't want to make a big deal out of the evening. Of course, we're more romantic than that and we want him to make it a big deal, so this is something else to mention to him.
13 He Gets Uncomfortable When We Buy Him A Nice Present
There's way too much pressure to buy our boyfriend a nice present during the winter holidays. There are tons of gift guides all over the internet, and even if we don't want to spend a ton of money, we still struggle to purchase the so-called "right thing."
Our boyfriend might not even act super comfortable when we get him a nice present. What if he says that we shouldn't have gotten it for him and that he doesn't want to accept it?
We might assume that he's simply frugal, but there could be more going on. He could be proving that he's just not that romantic and that he doesn't want us to buy each other nice gifts.
12 He's Definitely Not Cool With PDA
PDA is a very personal thing. Some couples love to hold hands while standing in line at the grocery store or at the movies. Other couples would never dream of that and don't like PDA at all.
We can tell that our boyfriend is never going to be the romantic type when he's not cool with PDA. He doesn't want us to engage in any PDA and he definitely doesn't like when other couples do. If we truly love each other and the relationship is going well, then we can honestly just accept this and know that this is how he feels.
11 He's Not Very Open With His Feelings
It's awesome when we start dating someone who will talk to us about their feelings... and it can even seem like the rarest thing ever. If we told our friends about this they might say that they didn't know that there were even people out there who could share that kind of stuff.
It's clear that our BF isn't romantic when he won't talk about his feelings (or if he does, it's so rare that we barely even notice). Since he's so shy about emotional conversations, it's possible that he's not going to change, and he'll just never be someone who is into romance.
10 He Never Offers To Run Late Night Errands For Us
Having our boyfriend run to the nearest grocery store to buy us the ice cream flavor that we want (or maybe an errand when it's that time of the month) is really sweet. We appreciate when he does stuff like this for us, and we do the same for him. It's moments like these when we really love having someone to share our lives with.
If our boyfriend never offers to run these late-night errands for us, then it's very likely that he's never going to be the romantic type. He's just not big on any kind of display of affection, even if it's taking a five-minute walk to buy some junk food.
9 He Thinks Most Engagement Stories Are Way Too Over-The-Top
Every girl loves a good engagement story. We might say that, sure, we're cool with a very low key and casual proposal, but... we would like the whole fairy tale deal. Honestly, some girls might even wish that they could tell their BF how to propose ahead of the time so they're extra happy with what goes down.
When we tell our boyfriend about a friend that just got engaged, or even share a story about a celeb that we read online, we're probably expecting some kind of positive reaction. When he's not big on hearing about these proposal stories and calls them way too over-the-top, we can be sure that he's never going to be romantic.
8 It Takes Him A While To Tell Friends And Family About Us
Romantic guys can't wait to tell their family and friends about their new girlfriend. They might even share that they've found someone before they've even had the official talk with us. Since they love romance and being in love, they're just so thrilled to talk about it.
We can tell that our boyfriend isn't very romantic—and he's never going to change his ways—when he waits a while to tell the people that he knows about us. He's being careful so he doesn't spill about our new relationship before he knows that it's going to go well. We get that he's more comfortable being cautious, but where's the fun in that?!
7 He Prefers Pizza Or Takeout To A Nice Home Cooked Meal
Guys who love to cook are great to date since, of course, they're going to want to make dinner for us a lot. It's so nice to be taken care of in this way, especially when we're busy with our jobs.
Guys who love to cook are also really romantic. They like to set the scene and make it a really great evening. These types of boyfriends can make a date night in so much more enjoyable than going out. If our boyfriend isn't romantic, he's more likely to order a pizza or other takeout rather than cook for us. He's low-key and doesn't see the point in putting in all the effort of a home-cooked meal.
6 He Doesn't Care That Much About Traveling
Going on vacation together is really romantic. So is discovering new places together. Some couples have a "place"—the first city or country that they went together, or the place where they got married if they had a destination wedding. Seeing the world as a couple has a lot of romance to it.
We can definitely tell that our boyfriend isn't ever going to be the romantic type when he's not big on traveling. He likes to stay home and that's probably not going to change because it's definitely true that if people aren't that used to traveling, it's hard for them to suddenly like it.
5 He's Cool With The Same Old Routine But Won't Create New Traditions
Romantic guys love to create new traditions as a couple. Pumpkin decorating around Halloween, apple picking in the fall, going to a Christmas festival in December, throwing a barbeque for friends in the summer... These are all things that they would really enjoy doing with their girlfriend.
Non-romantic guys, on the other hand, don't like creating new traditions at all. Instead, they really like following the same old routines month after month and year after year. He's most likely a homebody as well. If we really love him and we know that he loves us and this bothers us, then we should bring it up.
4 He Never Holds Our Hand, Whether At The Movies Or Going On Walks
It's really cute to watch a couple hold hands for the first time in a movie or on a TV show. It's even cuter when we're newly dating someone and he grabs our hand while we're at the movies or walking around after having dinner.
What if our boyfriend never, ever holds our hand, no matter where we are? It's not only going to make us feel pretty frustrated, but it's also going to be a big sign that he's not the romantic type. Even more than that, he's never going to change, and this is just the way that it's going to be.
3 Even Watching A Rom-Com Makes Him Feel Weird
Some guys will happily agree to watch romantic comedies when their girlfriends ask or maybe when it's time to celebrate Valentine's Day. Other guys will make a big deal out of it and roll their eyes and say that they're not going to like it... but, of course, they usually end up liking the movie at least a little bit.
We can tell that our boyfriend is never going to be the romantic type when he has a real problem watching romcoms. He starts acting really weird and he gets really uncomfortable. Romance really doesn't interest him, and he might be worried that we're going to tell him that he needs to be more romantic.
2 He's Said If We Get Married We Have To Elope
Guys who aren't romantic might not necessarily love big weddings, but that doesn't mean that they don't ever want to get married. Our boyfriend might actually be really excited about marrying us. He just doesn't want an actual wedding.
Let's say that he proposes (or we have a chill conversation about marrying each other, which might be more his speed) and then he says that he wants to elope. This is probably the only way that he wants to get married. It's also a sign that he's not going to change and suddenly become more romantic. It's just not his style, and if we love him, then we have to get used to that for sure.
1 He Might Change: He Likes To Cuddle
It's definitely possible that our boyfriend can change and become more romantic. Here's how: if he likes to cuddle, then that's a really good sign.
Slow and steady might be the best way to approach things when we want him to become a bit more romantic. He's not going to become a new man overnight, and we shouldn't expect that. We might want to calmly suggest that we go on more interesting dates or that we try going on trips that aren't that far away. After a while, he just might become a bit more of a romantic boyfriend, even if he never really becomes Mr. Total Hopeless Romantic.