Sometimes you know that something is wrong with your relationship, but you just can't put your finger on it. Or you definitely know exactly what's up... but you don't want to admit it to yourself yet. Everyone has been in that exact same situation, and it always sucks. There's nothing worse than that sinking feeling that the person that you love doesn't feel the same way about you anymore. It's like you're literally sitting there, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to tell you that they want to break up.
Another surefire sign that your relationship is going nowhere and fast? If your boyfriend's friends aren't exactly in love with you, either. It's a fact of life that you won't get along with everyone that your partner hangs out with, but you definitely want to like at least most of them, and you want them to think that you're a great addition to his life. If his friends aren't big fans of you, they're going to make it known, and you'll be able to tell. Here are 18 signs that his friends are fed up with your relationship... and fed up with you, too! Do any of these sound familiar?!
18 They Stop Inviting You Places
You don't have to hang out with your boyfriend's friends all the time... or even some of the time. You should still each have your own lives and your own stuff going on. That means going out with your friends separately. That's a good thing. After all, your boyfriend probably doesn't want to come to girls' night out and grab cocktails with your besties...
If your boyfriend's friends stop inviting you places, like their regular Friday night bar plans or someone's birthday, that's a sign that they don't think that you guys should be in this relationship anymore. If they liked you and thought that you were good for your boyfriend, you would always get an invite. They wouldn't want you to feel left out and they would never have a problem including you.
17 They Ignore You When You're At A Group Hang
Watch your boyfriend's friends' body language and how they act toward you when you do all hang out together. If you're out at a bar or restaurant on a Saturday night and no one is including you in the conversation or even talking to you at all, that's a really bad sign.
Basically, they want to pretend like you're not even there.... which probably means that they want to pretend that you and your boyfriend aren't even a thing at all. Instead of getting angry, try asking yourself why that would be happening. Is there something going on in your relationship that your boyfriend would have told his friends about, and that's why they're ignoring you? If this is going on, it definitely sounds like they're over your relationship and over you, too.
16 You Never Want Him To See His Friends
Whether or not you're getting invited to your boyfriend's friends' social plans is one thing, but what about when they invite him to go out? Do you totally support that and tell him to go and have fun? Or do you whine and sulk and pout and tell him that he should be hanging out with you instead?
There's a fine line between wanting to spend time with the person that you love and refusing to allow them to have fun, too, and have their own social life. The former is how you should behave... and the latter is definitely how you shouldn't act. If you never want him to see his friends, then you can be sure that his friends have noticed and that they really don't like it.
15 You Text Him Constantly When He Does See Them
There's nothing more annoying than when someone is hanging out with their friends and their significant other literally won't stop texting them. If your boyfriend goes out with his friends and you text him the entire time, you can be sure that they won't be happy about that.
Yeah, you can tell yourself that it's your right to do this because you're his girlfriend, but come on, is that really true?! Doesn't that seem more than a little bit unfair and definitely really annoying? You wouldn't want your partner to do this to you if you were hanging out with your own friends, so don't be that clingy person. His friends are definitely fed up with you if you can't let him just go and have fun and see you later.
14 You Two Always Fight About His Friends
Do you tell your boyfriend that you hate his friend group? Does he ask you all the time what it is that bugs you so much about them and why you can't just be cool and chill out? Do you tell him specific things that you don't like about them and that causes even more fights?
If this sounds familiar, then it's pretty clear: his friends are fed up with your relationship and fed up with you, too. The fact that you don't like them probably means that the feeling is mutual, and there might come a time when his friends tell him to choose between them and you. If you're taking him away from the people that he loves and who have been in his life for longer than you have, he just might choose them instead of you.
13 He Thinks That You Hate His Friends
Maybe you don't actually hate his friend group, but your boyfriend is totally convinced that you do. That's another sign that his friends don't think that you two should even be dating.
This could mean that he feels like you're just not all that supportive of his friendships. It could also mean that his friends have gone to him and said that you don't like them. They could also have said that they think that you guys should break up. That's an easy way to create tons of conflict, tension, and drama, so if this is happening, buckle up. This will probably cause a pretty big argument in the near future and it's not going to be a pretty picture. Why can't everyone just get along?!
12 He Tells You The Mean Things They Say About You
It would be awesome if you loved everyone that your boyfriend hung out with and if he felt the same way about your own friends. Of course, that's often just a pipe dream because people are friends for specific reasons sometimes and not everyone gets along.
Your boyfriend's friends could have a real problem with you, whether it's something to do with your personality (maybe you're more harsh and opinionated than they would like) or the way that you treat him. And they could talk to your boyfriend and say some pretty mean things about you. If your boyfriend actually tells you the things that they've said, you can be sure that they don't like you or the fact that you two are a couple.
11 He Starts Acting Different
When you've been with someone for a while, it's pretty obvious when they start acting differently all of a sudden. And it's never a pleasant experience. You wonder if it's you and if you did something to upset them. You also wonder if it's them and they've changed and that's going to change your relationship, too.
If your boyfriend starts acting different, it just might have something to do with his friend group. They might be influencing him and making him question you and your relationship. And they might be putting ideas in his head (like telling him to break up with you). Sure, you could talk to him about this and it could be something else entirely, but if the other signs on this list ring true, this might be related to his friends.
10 He Goes Out More Often
When your significant other starts going out all the time when they didn't before, it usually means that something is up. And it usually means that they might not be that into you anymore and they might be trying to end things.
After all, they should want to spend most of the time with you, especially if you two have been together for a long time. And that's even truer if the two of you live together. It's not like he magically decided to be more social -- he's being more social for a reason. It's totally possible that his friends are getting into his head and telling him that he needs to see them instead of you. Sure, you could get mad that they're interfering and trying to get involved. But you could also ask yourself if they have a point.
9 He Starts Questioning Your Future
When your boyfriend tells you that he's not so sure that your future plans are going to work out after all -- whether he's changing his mind about moving in together or getting married or something else -- it's never a good thing. In fact, it's always a really bad thing.
You can shrug it off and say that he's just scared and getting cold feet and that he'll change his mind. But he probably won't. And it's possible that his friends are getting under his skin and telling him that they don't think that he should move in with you or marry you or move the relationship to the next level. Now he's listening and telling you that, too, and it's time for you to listen and see what's going on.
8 He Suggests That You Become More Social
Your boyfriend has just started telling you that you definitely need to go out more. He wants you to hang out with your own friends more... and that's because he wants to see his friends more, too.
Honestly, this should already be happening. If two people are in a healthy and happy relationship, then they still have their own lives and see their own friends. The fact that he's even telling you to go out and be more social means that your relationship has become toxic. You both need to see your friends. There's really no way around that. Otherwise, it's just strange, because there is really no good reason for not keeping up your social life and your friendships. Sure, of course you want to see your boyfriend a lot, but what's the big deal with going out every once in a while?!
7 They Ask You Pointed Questions When You See Them
If you're not paying attention, you might have no clue that your boyfriend's friends aren't that into you. Sometimes there are really subtle signs, like they give him a look when you guys walk into the room or the bar together and you don't happen to notice it, and sometimes they're a lot more obvious.
When you're all hanging out together and they ask you super pointed questions, that's a sign that they're not fans of you. Maybe they ask you straight-up why you don't want him to see them on a regular basis. Maybe they ask why you've turned him into such a homebody. Whatever they're asking you, it's pretty rude, and it proves that they don't think that you're a good influence on him.
6 They Bring Up His Ex-Girlfriend
Every guy has an ex-girlfriend that really broke his heart or was just a super toxic person in his life. It sucks hearing about them in the beginning of your relationship, but it's not like you can change the fact that they dated. All you can do is hope that the feelings are long gone and that he's not still talking to her or missing her.
If your boyfriend's friends are always bringing up his ex-girlfriend, it's pretty clear that they think that she was a better girlfriend for him than you are. They think that he should dump you and get back together with her. If they didn't feel that way, there would be no reason for them to keep bringing her up. Yeah, it's super awkward.
5 You Always Want To Keep It Just The Two Of You
It's totally fine to want to hang out with your boyfriend alone a lot of the time. After all, if you don't want that, then why are you even dating in the first place?! You definitely need alone time to keep your relationship going strong and to feel connected to each other. Plus there's the fact that you should enjoy each other's company.
If you always want it to be just the two of you, though, that's when things get weird, and that's when his friends will probably start noticing that you're a bit clingy and controlling. You should definitely want to hang out in a group sometimes, whether that's with either one of your friend groups or with your family. Before you know it, his friends are wondering why you're isolating him so much, and you can be sure that they don't like it.
4 He Complains That You're Too Much Of A Homebody
Some people are homebodies and others are total social butterflies. There's no right or wrong way to be. Maybe you go through phases where you like going out (like in the summer when patio drinks always sound fun) and times when you're all about your couch and pizza and Netflix (like the winter).
If your boyfriend starts complaining that you're too much of a homebody, that's a big sign that something isn't great with your relationship. That proves that he wants to go out more than you do and he's feeling bored and/or boxed in. It also proves that his friends might have mentioned that you guys never go out and that they miss seeing him. If you two are both homebodies and happy about it, then it's a match made in heaven. It's when one person starts complaining that you know something is up.
3 He Starts Acting Secretive
Relationships thrive on communication and honesty. Not being honest with your significant other means that there are a lot of things going wrong. You don't feel comfortable around them, you don't feel like they're going to take your feelings seriously, and you don't want to face the harsh reality of what's actually going on.
When your boyfriend starts acting like he's keeping a whole bunch of secrets, it's probably best to realize what's going on: his friends might not be super thrilled with you and your relationship. And he's starting to think about whether or not he should be with you. He's not sure how to talk to you about this, so he keeps it a secret, and that's just going to make things even worse.
2 He Acts Distant And Has More Late Nights
If your boyfriend's friends don't like you, there's probably a good reason. Most of the time, it's because you're not into them, and they can tell. There's a lot of negative energy going around.
He's probably hanging out with them before your back, essentially. It's not like he's going to stop seeing them -- they're his friends and he's most likely known them for a lot longer than he's been dating you. If he's acting distant these days and has a lot more late nights than usual, then you can be sure that he's spending time with them. That's definitely not a great sign. He probably feels like you're being totally unfair and like he shouldn't have to sneak around. And his sneaky behavior will probably make his friends dislike you even more. It's a vicious cycle, basically.
1 He Straight-Up Tells You What His Friends Think About The Relationship
Maybe your boyfriend is going to be totally and completely honest with you and tell you that his friends don't think that you're the best influence on him. It'll really hurt to hear this, of course, and it'll definitely suck to have such a painful, awkward conversation. But at least you'll know how everyone really feels.
Sometimes it's best to get things out in the open. It's totally possible that you can still salvage your love story and figure out why his friends are so fed up with you and the fact that you're dating their friend. But it's also totally possible that things are going nowhere fast and they figured it out long before you two did. And once you're in a better relationship, you might even be grateful to his friend group. Okay, maybe not.