Would you ever forgive a cheater? Your answer is probably "no" (and your answer might even be closer to "heck no"). Maybe you've been cheated on in the past and then you would definitely not want to be put in that position ever again. That's totally understandable. In most cases, like when someone cheats because they're attracted to someone or honestly just want to get intimate for the sake of getting intimate, cheating is truly gross and horrible. In those situations, it's safe to say that the other person shouldn't forgive their partner for stepping out on them. It's easy to see why that would be a pretty devastating thing to have to go through.
In other cases, though, someone cheats because they feel like they're out of options or because of other reasons that you might not even think of. The following cheating stories prove that this is one of those grey areas in life and that sometimes, there's a reasonable and logical explanation. It's not always as simple as someone thinking that their coworker is hot and wanting to hook up with them. Actually, that's not the case in the following stories at all. Read on to find out 18 heartbreaking confessions from cheaters that prove that they need forgiveness!
18 "I was tired of being treated like dirt but had low enough self-esteem to not get out of a bad relationship."
This girl's confession is from Thought Catalog and is truly heartbreaking. She didn't cheat because she didn't care about her boyfriend or wanted to hurt a good guy or just didn't give a crap what the outcome was. Nope. None of that was the case. In fact, she was in a really emotionally abusive relationship, and her self-esteem was basically in the toilet because of it.
Instead of dumping her boyfriend, she cheated on him. Sure, you could say that technically it would have been better if she had broken up with him before sleeping with someone else, and of course that's true. But things were bad and she wasn't sure how to end things. You sympathize, right? Everyone has at least one bad relationship.... and hopefully only one because no one deserves that kind of awful treatment.
17 "I really consider my girlfriend to be a possible future marriage partner, I really want to work hard on our relationship, but I just kind of feel that I messed everything up... I'm so stupid, the happiest moment in the week was when I was skyping with her..."
This guy was living in Japan and cheated on his girlfriend. He shared everything in a Reddit thread called "I cheated on my girlfriend and feel bad about it."
He cheated on his girlfriend of two years and ended up hooking up with someone else twice. He felt that the distance was getting to him and says that he wanted to sleep with someone. While it's not great that he basically just wanted to get physical, and even cheated on her twice, it's understandable that long-distance relationships can get to a person after a while. It's not something that's easy to deal with. It definitely sounds like he truly feels remorse about the whole thing, and since he knows that she's an amazing girlfriend and doesn't want to lose her, this is a pretty heartbreaking confession.
16 "I cheated and I came home, She came over and I confessed what I had done. Her face morphed into this stone-cold, numb expression. She turned around and walked out the door. I never saw or heard from her again."
This guy confessed his cheating story in another Reddit thread, and it's definitely hard to read. How would you react if you learned that your long-time partner had cheated on you? Would you yell and scream and throw things at them? Or would you do what this woman did and look "stone-cold" and "numb" and never talk to that guy ever again?
No one would blame her for not wanting to see him again or even talk to him because, let's face it, cheating is the ultimate betrayal. This girl was obviously so devastated that she just had to walk away from the situation and cut ties with the person that she had been in love with. It's a really, really sad story for both of them.
15 "I cheated in an LTR once. I was constantly being accused of it, and constantly defending myself and trying to prove my fidelity."
This Thought Catalog confession is heartbreaking since it's one of those things that became a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't think that you deserve your dream career or a good person to date, guess what? You'll be miserable and will stay in your crappy job and won't date people who treat you properly. You have to tell yourself that you deserve better and that you deserve to be happy and then you'll make good things happen in your life.
This person's partner was always accusing them of cheating, so in the end, they did cheat. This just sounds like a really bad relationship and a toxic situation as well, so although cheating is horrible, it's also awful that someone would accuse their partner of infidelity all the time. That's so messed up.
14 "At this point, it’s like I’m living with an unhappy roommate. We’re only together for our son’s sake. She’s miserable and I can’t do anything to cheer her up, which tears me up inside."
This Thought Catalog confession is from a guy whose marriage truly fell apart. You often hear about people who stay together because they have kids, and it's never a good scene since once the children are old enough, they can totally tell that their parents aren't happy.
It's sad to hear that a married couple would be this unhappy and it sounds like this guy really did try to make things work. Since he just couldn't do that, he ended up cheating. Yeah, of course you can say that he should have never cheated on his wife and that they should have gotten divorced if he wanted to be with someone else. But since it sounds like he was in a lot of pain about the whole thing, it also sounds like he just might need some forgiveness.
13 "I’m not ashamed. My ex-SO was so mean and manipulative. Dated him for 2 years. I was making more money in the household and paid for EVERYTHING. Dates, activities, bills, groceries. He never took me out or got me a birthday gift."
Ugh. This Thought Catalog confession totally gives you a weird feeling, right?!
If you're with someone who is "mean and manipulative" and they never contribute to household expenses or pay for date nights, that totally proves that the relationship is basically over. Sure, you might still be together, but you're not acting like a couple. It's not a pleasant situation at all. It's easy to see why this girl ended up cheating on her boyfriend and it sounds like she was really, really unhappy for the entire two years that they were together. It's hard not to feel bad for her and wish that she was able to get out of the relationship earlier, and while you still might say that cheating is bad, at least it's kind of logical in this case.
12 "I’m afraid that she’ll do it first. So I do it as a sort of insurance that if something goes wrong or she lets me down, I can always be like, ‘Yeah but I didn’t care anyway.’"
Another Thought Catalog confession, this one's about cheating as an insurance policy. It's not something that you hear every day. Do you think that more people have done something like this? It definitely makes sense. A lot of people must reject others before they get rejected in order to protect themselves, so it's kind of the same idea.
It's pretty heartbreaking to hear that someone would be so afraid of going through a relationship issue or of things not being perfect that they would actually cheat. It doesn't make what he did right. It definitely doesn't. Cheating is still a betrayal. But it makes sense that he felt this way and that he did this, and it's a shame that he felt so low and insecure about his relationship.
11 "Our relationship was struggling and I was desperate to feel wanted and experience intimacy."
This Reddit confession tells a pretty common story: a lack of intimacy in your relationship and a desire to feel, well, desired. This doesn't excuse cheating and doesn't make it okay. Nothing can make it okay since it's such a horrible thing.
But it does make this a pretty heartbreaking confession, mostly because it sucks to think about someone being put in this position. If you put yourself in this person's shoes and imagine that you don't feel close to your partner anymore and things are really different, would you do the same thing? Would you be tempted to feel close to someone again? Even if you say no, that might change if this happened to you. It can be easy to say that you would never do something and then of course you might change your mind in the moment.
10 "Things have changed recently, however, I have been in a very happy relationship for 6 months now. I did kiss someone early on, but we talked about that and my cheating habits in the past. I am eager to move on from them and change myself not only for myself, but for my loving SO."
This Thought Catalog confession is from someone who is basically a reformed cheater. They used to cheat a lot but learned from their mistakes and doesn't do that anymore.
Some people might say that once a cheater, always a cheater, and that no one could ever change. After all, you're always being told that expecting someone to change is the worst idea ever. But it really does sound like they've ended their cheating ways and don't want to do that anymore. Okay, so technically they did cheat on their partner and kissed someone else when their relationship was still new, but they say that they want things to be different this time. It does suck to realize that you did something awful and that you need to change.
9 "I was in a manipulative relationship prior with a girl who cheated on me multiple times then left me for my best friend."
This Thought Catalog confession is from a guy who went through all of the above things that he just described, which definitely sounds like it sucked, and then slept with someone else after he had a new girlfriend. He also shared that he was struggling with his mental health and was feeling "lonely." Being cheated on is rough and maybe some people would say that he shouldn't have done that to someone else since he had been through it himself, but he had some reasons.
It's clear that he was having a rough time and that was the reason why he did that. It's also clear that he probably was still trying to work through what had happened to him in his previous relationship. That doesn't sound like it would be easy to get over, so honestly, it's impossible not to feel a ton of empathy for him.
8 "It was sheer passion. I had been stuck in a dead relationship for far too long. I thought I was at fault, tried to change myself, ended up spending an entire year doing things I didn’t want to do."
While that last bit of this Thought Catalog confession is a bit vague, you totally get the idea, and it sounds like a very difficult relationship to be in. You really have nothing if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have lost the passion that you once shared. Sure, real life happens and you're not always going to be quite as passionate as you were in the very beginning, but there's really no reason why that has to change entirely.
Because this person sounds like they did a lot of things to try to fix things and make it better, it's hard not to sympathize with their struggles at least a little bit. Yeah, maybe they shouldn't have cheated, but it's not like they had zero reasons to.
7 "I had serious depression and PTSD and instead of communicating to my boyfriend that I was scared and needed therapy, I cheated on him to push him away."
Another heartbreaking confession from Thought Catalog, this one is very sad to read. It's really a shame that a lot of people suffer and go through really tough times and don't feel like they can talk to the ones that they love. Maybe they think that they're going to be judged or that someone won't get it, but chances are they just might and it might even bring them closer.
You definitely feel sympathy for this girl because she was going through something. If she had told her boyfriend what was going on, it sounds like she wouldn't have cheated, so really, even though she did cheat on him, it's almost like she didn't. It doesn't seem like it should count the same way because it's not like she slept with someone else because she wanted to and didn't care about the consequences.
6 "I met my ex at 17…there were a ton of red flags that I chose to ignore. I found out that he had told all of his friends that I tricked him into having a baby and that now my body was disgusting."
This Thought Catalog confession definitely sounds horrible. It's hard to believe that someone would do something like this, so yeah, those are for sure some serious red flags. They sound like they were fire engine red.
It's also hard to blame this girl for cheating on someone like that, so this is another heartbreaking cheating story. It just goes to show that even if you think that cheating is always a total no-no and that no one should ever do that to the person that they're in a relationship with, there are a lot more nuances than most people realize. It's never a good thing, but at least in this situation, you can probably understand why she did it and what her reasoning was, right?
5 "Our intimate chemistry wasn’t in tune. He simply was NEVER in the mood."
This Thought Catalog confession is talking about something that a lot of couples go through: not being in sync in the bedroom. This is a pretty unique one since you never really hear about guys who don't want to get busy all the time. These kinds of stories usually focus on women. But of course this goes both ways and there's no point stereotyping.
If your partner doesn't want to sleep with you and that part of your relationship is over, it's safe to say that the rest of the relationship is over, too. If you cheat, it doesn't make that right. It still sucks that you cheated. But it does make sense and it does sound heartbreaking that a couple would go through something really difficult like this.
4 "My SO told me he’d been planning to propose a few months previously but changed his mind. We both slipped into depression and started drifting apart, and our bedroom became pretty dead."
This Thought Catalog confession is really sad. It's got a lot of awful things in it: depression, two people who no longer connect the way that they used to, a lack of physical intimacy, and an almost engagement.
Would you be able to stay with someone who said that they were going to propose to you but then decided not to?! Probably not, right? It sounds impossible to stick around if this happened. It would be really hurtful and confusing. If someone didn't want to marry you, they should admit that they didn't want to be in the relationship, either, instead of just wanting things to stay the same. For this couple, things didn't stay the same and got even worse, and that's why she ended up cheating.
3 "When you try so hard and things still just keep falling apart. My SO and I were engaged when he developed a really serious gambling problem that was beginning to sink us into a world of debt..."
This is another confession from Thought Catalog, and it's hard not to see it as totally and completely heartbreaking. Basically, this woman tried her best to make the relationship work, and she was in pretty deep since she was going to marry this guy. Unfortunately, she found that the stress of having money problems was too much and she ended up cheating.
This is one of those times when you can definitely see how this would happen. Sure, you may still be against cheating, and of course, you should be since it's not exactly the best way to behave. But there are grey areas in life and this is one of them. While cheating is never the answer to relationship problems, that doesn't mean that it's not going to happen, and like the tales on this list, sometimes the stories are truly heartbreaking.
2 "I was with an emotionally (later physically) manipulating person... Someone finally took an interest in me and made me feel beautiful, so I cheated"
This woman was in a really bad relationship and her boyfriend didn't make her feel like a good-looking worthy person. Her low self-esteem was the reason why, in the end, she slept with someone else.
It's pretty much impossible to blame someone for wanting to feel attractive and worthy. Everyone deserves to feel that way, and no one should ever stay in an abusive relationship. Since things were so crappy for her, you can't really blame for her for wanting to escape, and for wanting to feel good about herself for the first time in a while (or maybe ever). While cheating isn't a good thing to do at all, this story proves that there are grey areas and that not all cheaters are the worst people ever.
1 "We broke up. Some days passed and she told me that she wanted to talk. She said that we could work things out. I couldn't stand having this memory of such guilt that I told her I couldn't take her back... she deserves much better than me."
This guy confessed this in a Reddit thread called "I cheated and regret it" and it's hard not to feel for him. After all, when someone says that they cheated on their significant other and regret it, you immediately know that they didn't want to mess things up. Sure, it doesn't mean that it's okay that they cheated, but it does change things a bit.
He continued in the thread that he was "weak" and that he cheated on his girlfriend of five years with a female friend when he and a big group went clubbing one night. As he says, he realized that he had ruined the relationship and didn't want to hurt his girlfriend, so he felt that it was better if they ended things. Do you think he should be forgiven?!