Not everything on the show about the privileged teenagers residing in New York's Upper East Side was completely far fetched. In fact, the alarming levels of white privilege displayed in the show are pretty accurate, even if it seems extreme. However, there were quite a few things in the world of the young, beautiful, wealthy Upper East Siders that we couldn't believe, no matter how hard we tried. No, we’re not even talking about Serena's hair. Sure, it’s otherworldly to have perfect mermaid hair every single day of your life, but that’s not even the zaniest part of the show. We’re also not talking about Serena’s legs. How her legs were 6 feet long and always so perfectly tanned is beyond us, but there were other things much farther fetched than that.
In a world where everyone hooks up with everyone, the family relations are pretty weird. Remember how Serena and Dan were actually siblings-in-law, but also dated? Serena is also siblings-in-law with Chuck Bass, who then marries Blair. That would then make Blair and Serena sisters-in-law, right? Whatever. Everyone on the show is related to each other and while it’s a lot to wrap our heads around, we’ll buy it. Hey, it happens. Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner are actually related through a bunch of marriages too. Apparently the rich and beautiful are all related. Let us into that gorgeous gene pool, guys!
Serena’s goddess features and the hook ups aside, there were some crazy things that happened on Gossip Girl, leaving even the biggest fans asking WTF. Below are 17 moments on Gossip Girl that are seriously unrealistic. (Sorry, Queen B. We still love you.)
17 When Serena Is Roofied... Twice
Apparently, the crazies just love Serena. Through the course of the series, she’s roofied not once, but twice. It gets even weirder when you consider the fact that both times she was roofied by a girl who was pretending to be her friend. This never happens in real life. I’ve yet to meet a girl, who told me a story about being roofied by a psychotic girlfriend of hers.
In season one, Georgina Sparks appears as the big, bad villain. She is determined to bring Serena back to the dark side. Quite frankly, dark side Serena seems like a lot more fun than reformed Serena, so more power to Georgina. Georgina’s tactics go far beyond the realm of the realistic. She roofies Serena, forcing her to miss her SATs. She also sends her a case of champagne to school and a box full of S&M toys to her house. What kind of stuff was Serena into, guys? Oh and to top it off, Georgina also seduces Dan by telling him a fake name and faking an identity. We’re unsure if Georgina wanted to hang out with Serena or full on be Serena. Either way, it was too much.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, in season four the new crazy is Juliet and she takes a play from Georgina’s book. After impersonating Serena, she drugs her. Serena then wakes up in a hotel room with no memory of how she got there. Also, can we talk about Juliet impersonating Serena? We get that it was a masquerade event, but most people would be able to tell the difference even with half of someone’s face covered. Plus, no one else in the world has Serena's hair. It would be a dead give away.
16 Every Moment Of Jenny's Fashion Career
Every single moment of Jenny’s career in fashion was completely unrealistic. Actually, we could get down with little Jenny Humphrey in season one. She has a sewing machine, which she slaves over in order to create chic but inexpensive clothing. That's the only realistic part of her whole career and it's not even her career yet.
We’ll follow her there, but with season two Jenny’s career seemed completely outlandish for a 16-year-old, no matter how talented she was supposed to be. After interning for Eleanor Waldorf through the summer, Jenny stays on throughout the school year, skipping school in order to work for Eleanor. First of all, why did no one question this? Blair literally went to school with Jenny. How did Eleanor not ask about this ‘internship pass’ that Jenny was using to skip all her classes? That’s besides the point.
This story line continues with Jenny being so talented that Eleanor even takes credit for Jenny’s designs. From here, Jenny burns her bridges with Eleanor, teams up with an insane model and crashes a gala to throw a surprise fashion show. Jenny then returns to school like it’s no biggie. Oh, and we won't even mention her interview with Tim Gunn. How? Just how?
One of the confusing things about this plot is that they make Jenny into this prodigy of fashion, which is something that was never communicated through her own personal style. Excessive eyeliner does not equal high fashion, little J.
15 Blair’s Runaway Bride Moment
Blair’s royal wedding was certainly not completely out of the question. Being raised among the well connected and wealthy, it’s not completely unrealistic for Blair to marry a royal. We could even overlook the fact that the online rumors about Blair would have certainly been a bigger issue in their relationship. That being said, the whole wedding is too over the top, especially with everyone checking their phones mid-ceremony. You’re telling me that Blair Waldorf didn’t enforce a strict airplane mode rule? The moment starts to lose touch with reality here and never quite comes back.
After the wedding, Blair literally runs away in a wedding dress then tries to get on a plane by using her photo in a magazine as her ID. Everything about this was outlandish and it was also completely out of character. The queen of scheming acted on her impulses instead of putting together a flawless plan. No way.
14 When Chuck Owned A Club Before He Could Legally Drink
Would Chuck Bass build an empire of swanky, ‘20s style clubs? Totally. Would he do so before he could even legally drink? Probably not. I mean, come on. It's just ridiculous. Would it even be legal in real life?
In season three, Chuck was fresh out of high school. Instead of attending college, Chuck takes money he received from his father’s will and opens a nightclub. THB, the nightclub, looks amazing and we'd kill for an invite. He then enlists the help of Serena to throw an iconic opening night. While we could see this all happening, we just don’t see it happening while he’s so young. Chuck was so young that he couldn't even legally serve alcohol as a bartender!
Also, even Trump's children went to college. The likelihood that Chuck would completely skip over college is also slim.
13 Everything About Lily And Rufus’ Love Child
Ah, the crazy story line that had no pay off. In season two, it’s revealed that Rufus and Lily have a secret love child. For the record, secret love children are basically an invention of television. I don’t know many real people who actually have a secret love child.
After Lily reveals that she gave up her and Rufus’ child, they go on a mission to find him. After tracking down their biological son, the adoptive parents tell Lily and Rufus a sob story about him drowning. It seems sad, until it’s revealed that the adoptive parents were totally lying. Their other son died while swimming, meaning Lily and Rufus' biological son was still alive. The adoptive parents didn't want Lily and Rufus to know because they feared losing him to Lily's wealth. Apparently, everyone on Gossip Girl has some complicated motives. The most shocking thing on this show would have just been a character you could take a face value.
The love child saga doesn’t end there. He tracks down Lily and Rufus and infiltrates their group by dating Vanessa. Then he just leaves. This is a plot we'd like to just forget... kind of like the way that everyone just forgets about it on the show.
12 When The New Yorker Runs Dan's Story
In the first season, Vanessa submits Dan’s short story to the New Yorker… and it gets in. It actually gets in, guys!
Considering the fact that established writers with MFAs cannot even get their pieces into the New Yorker, it's completely far fetched that Dan Humphrey's story would land in the prestigious magazine. Dan is a teenage high school student, who has absolutely no credits to his name. Even if his short story was the best short story ever written, the likelihood that they would publish said piece is slim. If it was a publication with less clout, this would have been easier to understand. If it was a magazine or website that had some prestige but wasn't as big as the New Yorker then this story would have been way more believable. The New Yorker, though? No way. We don't buy it, Lonely Boy.
11 That One Time Blair Struggled With An Eating Disorder
Does anyone remember that time Blair struggled with an eating disorder in one episode? It's okay if you don't because it was only one episode and then was forgotten about for the rest of the series.
In season one’s Thanksgiving episode, Serena comes to Blair’s rescue after she falls back into some old habits. We also see flashbacks of the previous Thanksgiving, during which Blair's parents worried about her struggles. A young girl struggling with an eating disorder is believable, especially in the case of Blair. This was the daughter of a fashion designer, who put enormous pressure on herself to be perfect, and was best friends with the effortless beauty Serena. The real issue is that this is never brought up again, ever. Even as pressures of college rejections and a royal wedding weigh down on Blair, she doesn’t feel the need to binge and purge. Eating disorders are not so easily cured. Those who struggle with them continue to struggle with them every day.
To introduce an eating disorder and then be like 'nah nevermind' is just utterly confusing. This is a disappointment because the series could have explored a serious issue for young girls.
10 When Bart Bass Came Back From The Dead
When we first meet Chuck’s father, he’s the stereotypical absent businessman father. This isn’t outlandish and it even makes sense in terms of Chuck’s behavior. We can even get down with Bart’s marriage to Lily and his subsequent death. Here, however, is when Bart's plot started to become rather unrealistic. In the final season, Bart comes back from the dead. Apparently his death was faked in order for him to dip out for a little bit. While Chuck finally having to deal with his daddy issues in the final season of Gossip Girl is poetic, as he's struggled throughout the whole series, it's done in a zany way that no viewer can believe.
As this plot comes to an end, Bart puts Chuck on a plane that explodes - only Chuck wasn't on the plane! Chuck then outs his father as a murderer at a huge event, which leads to Chuck and Bart having a confrontation on the roof because where else? When Bart is left hanging from the building, he begs for Chuck's help but Chuck lets his father fall to his death. This plot was 100% soap opera. It was way too much to deal with. If you couple this with Chuck's confusing story about his mother (who may or may not be dead), almost everything related to his parents is insane and unbelievable.
9 When Vanessa Was Embarrassed By Her See-Through Dress
Let’s think back on Jenny’s big scheme to embarrass Vanessa, shall we? As the two were battling it out for the affections of Nate Archibald, which we totally get BTW, Jenny offers to make Vanessa a dress for the Snow Flake Ball. Vanessa accepts, and the two seem to reconcile. Jenny, however, gives Vanessa a dress that is unlined. Under bright lighting, the dress is completely see-through. Little J, Queen B will forever be better at the scheming, okay?
At the dance, Jenny and the minions get their revenge by shining a spotlight on Vanessa, at which point the unlined dress shows off her naked body. Vanessa runs away in horror and we're left scratching our heads. Why is this so unbelievable? Well, have you seen her body? She probably looks better without clothes on than in that sh*tty dress. She should only wear unlined clothing. It’s like if Jennifer Aniston were caught under a spotlight. She’d just shrug and be like, ‘my body is amazing, what of it?’ Plus, with her hippie upbringing it doesn't seem like Vanessa would be so humiliated by her naked figure. Even though Little J's scheme worked, it didn't seem all that plausible.
8 Everything Charlie Rhodes/Ivy Dickens
We're not too sure where to start with this one. When this character appears, she is introduced as Charlie Rhodes, Serena's cousin. That is fine, but in the world of Gossip Girl, nothing is how it seems. It's then revealed that Charlie is actually Ivy Dickens, an actress who was hired to play Charlie. Yes, we're all confused. It turns out that Carol Rhodes, Charlie's mother, wanted access to Charlie's trust fund so she hired an actress to play her daughter. How did no one catch this? How? If you were reunited with a cousin after several years apart, you'd be able to tell if she was a complete stranger. People's faces don't just completely change.
In Gossip Girl like fashion, Ivy is outed but surprisingly, not all of the family is upset. The matriarch, CeCe, is like YOLO. She even leaves Ivy a good chunk of her fortune when she passes. Yes, she passes down the Rhodes fortune to a stranger. Oh, and then Ivy goes and hooks up with Rufus to top it all off. Everything about this is so unrealistic.
7 When Blair Waldorf And Dam Humphrey Date
Some fans still ask why this story line happened? It was the worst. After running away from her marriage to the prince, Blair shacks up with Lonely Boy. They seem to have a majorly intellectual relationship, which lacks any real heat. The part about them not having any heat is actually pretty realistic, but the fact that they ever hooked up is unrealistic.
Queen B, queen of all the eye can see in the Upper East Side, was materialistic, shallow and more concerned with social status than any other character on the show. The fact that she'd date Dan Humphrey, the writer from Brooklyn who lacks social status, wealth or reputation, is out of character. It's even crazier when you think about the fact that Dan is Serena's ex. There are always people hooking up with people's exes, but we don't think Blair would cross this line. It would be like if Serena hooked up with Chuck, which - thank the Gossip Girl gods - never happened.
The relationship fizzled out quickly but it's still a majorly unrealistic plot in a show with a love child, someone who comes back from the dead and two roofie episodes.
6 Serena’s Effortless Hollywood Career
This one made all the eyes roll. Upon seeing a guy reading The Beautiful and the Damned, Serena makes a comment about the book, which is apparently her favorite. Serena’s commentary on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s book is surprising enough, but this comment then leads her to a gig on David O. Russell’s adaption of the novel. Yeah, because forging a successful career in Hollywood is actually that easy. Oh, wait. It’s not.
Not only does she get on the set, but she proves to be doing a good job and even lands a gig as an assistant to a film producer. Sure, her connections play a role in her landing said gig, but it’s still crazy that someone who has showed no interest in working in entertainment was given promotion after promotion after stumbling upon a job. Life seems to be all rainbows and unicorns when you're Serena.
5 Every Time There Was An Illegal Hookup
We’ll buy most of the relationships. We’ll even accept the fact that people are willing to hurt their friendships in order to hook up with someone – a la Chuck hooking up with Blair, Blair hooking up with Dan, or Serena hooking up with Nate. That betrayal is something that does happen in real life from time to time. We get it. However, some of the hook ups were actually illegal and we don’t know if we can really buy into them.
Dan and Ms. Carr hooking up may have been one of the most outlandish things on the show and it also made Ms. Carr look like a complete nut job. She was the teacher befriending Serena, engaging in battle with Blair and sleeping with Dan? She was basically acting like another student.
Serena had a thing with her prep school teacher, which was never consummated but did land him in jail. When Serena helps free him after what must have been a few years in jail, she then hooks up with him. The odds of him actually getting together with the girl, who he was just in jail for hooking up with, are pretty slim.
4 Everything About Serena’s Father
Serena’s daddy issues plot starts okay. It’s revealed that Serena does all her crazy antics, like riding away on a horse during a high society horse show, in order to get her father’s attention. She doesn’t know where he is or what he’s doing, but she thinks if she can be in enough gossip columns, he’ll notice her. It’s actually pretty tragic and one of the meatier traits given to Serena's character. This part is realistic, mostly because Serena just really seems like a girl who is plagued with daddy issues.
When daddy dearest does show up, he woos Lily right back into his arms. Then, it turns out that he’s prescribing Lily pills to make her sick so he can make her better. How royally twisted is that? You’d think that he would lose his license to practice medicine and be put in jail. That’s not exactly where his path takes him. Instead, he ends up with Lily in the finale. Yes, they end up together, even though he was making her ill so she’d stay with him. What is that even?
3 Nate’s Overnight Career In Media
This came out of no where. Suddenly Nate was running a magazine. Seriously, Nate, who we’re pretty sure had never picked up a magazine for the words, was running a magazine. He has an office and everything. This all happened in the blink of an eye.
Nate was a pretty boy who had never worked too hard for anything in his life. Even so, we still expected him to succeed, mostly because his grandfather would not allow an Archibald to fail. There is, however, a line between success and the unrealistic success that Nate achieved. One of the most surprising turns in this story line was that Nate was actually, dare we say, ambitious! He wanted to make the magazine a hit. Even if the whole thing was surprising and unrealistic, it was adorable to watch golden boy Nate actually care about something so passionately.
We’d also love to throw the fact that Nate was sleeping with Elizabeth Hurley in there as unrealistic, but let’s be honest, that’s one of the most realistic aspects to this plot. Nate has always has a bit of a Mrs. Robinson complex.
2 When Blair Lived In A Dorm Room
Blair Waldorf, the queen of everyone, lived in a dorm room. It just seems funny to think about it now, but it really did happen. In season three, Blair moves into an NYU dorm that she doesn’t even have Dorota jazz up. You’d think Blair would have remodeled the entire room, but she more or less accepted the humble dorm room. This is Blair who looked down on even going to Brooklyn and she was totes cool with the dorm room? Not a chance.
Her reasoning for living in the dorm was that she’d have to live with her subject to rule them, because she’s the queen of everything like we said. This fails, as Blair is an outcast at NYU, which we also don’t completely buy. While NYU is attended by many people interested in liberal arts, it’s just a highly competitive school located in Manhattan. Blair would be able to find her circle of wealthy, privileged girls like herself. Trust us, even snobs attend art school.
Plus, who wouldn’t want to be one of Blair’s minions?
1 When Gossip Girl Was Dan Humphrey
Ah, the most unrealistic of all. Dan Humphrey was gossip girl. Let’s all call bull on this one, shall we? Dan was not gossip girl. There is simply no way.
We do like the story of why he invented the gossip girl site, as he saw a world in which he wasn’t invited and wanted a way in. We can understand that. It’s even beautiful in a way. However, the creators of the show were clearly not planning for the Humphrey reveal throughout the series. There were so many times when a gossip bomb was dropped and Dan was nowhere near his phone or computer to send said bomb. One could reason that he had scheduled these bombs. But, we still have to wonder why he would post horrible things about himself. In order to deviate everyone from assuming that he was gossip girl, he may have posted a few unsavory items, but not to the extent that he did.
The whole thing was poorly planned and the most unrealistic moment in the entire series, which is a shame because this reveal could have been epic.
Even with all the unrealistic moments, we can't help but love the show about a world in which most of us will never exist.