16 Spin The Bottle & 7 Minutes In Heaven Confessions

in Girl Talk
16 Spin The Bottle &  7 Minutes In Heaven Confessions

Ahhh, is there anything quite as entertaining, fascinating, and terrifying as teenage hormones? Those pesky gland-produced molecules stir up all kinds of emotions and bodily outputs that are beyond anyone’s control, leading to some pretty unexpected and embarrassing events.

In high school, hormones drive teenagers to do some wild and daring things, especially at parties or get-togethers. This is why games such as Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, and Seven Minutes In Heaven were invented – to stimulate the hormones, minds, and libidos of young adults. Games like these are a past-time at coming of age events such as sweet sixteen’s, homecoming, and prom, although they’re likely to occur on any given Friday or Saturday night, as well. During these games, teens expect to partake in some innocent kissing between friends, but what normally ends up happening is a night filled with all sorts of drama and memories that forever get burned into our minds for the worst reasons.

It is because of those horrible memories that people turn to others to talk about their experiences, which is why we were able to uncover some revealing Whispers that helped past player get their memories off their chest and remind us all that high school is an unpleasant experience that is often filled with humiliation and regret.

16. At Least He Didn’t Say “You’re Welcome”

Omg, can you say “totes awks” much? This is next-level cringe-worthy and totally deserving of cowering under a rock post-kiss. During the game of Spin the Bottle, it’s common knowledge that whomever the bottle lands on, you kiss. You have no choice in the matter, so it’s not like this crush had an intent to make her day or do her a favour or anything, so there is no reason to thank him for his services. Even if this game wasn’t happening and the two engaged in a private and mutual smooch, thanking your kissing partner is just weird. It’s like saying thank you when someone says they love you…it’s awkward for everyone, or technically both people, involved. Any gratitude you feel towards this event should be expressed miles away from the person who helped make it happen.

15. What A Waste Of Seven Minutes

Aww, poor dude. Not much confidence lies within him, that’s for sure. The girl was probably hoping to have a little fun, but instead the tension built to the point of cutting it with a knife, causing the young man to sweat profusely in the process. Gross. This is definitely not the memory you want to have while looking back on a private, hormonal moment such as this. However, it’s probably much worse for the guy, since his memory is probably filled with regret for not taking action, as well as the reminder of it being awkward AF. Seven minutes of silence spent with another person is deafening, especially when there’s a pressure lingering in the air to perform. All we hope is that the sweaty boy grew up to be a self-assured man with the assertiveness to actually kiss a girl.

14. That’s One Irresponsible Babysitter

First thing’s first, this twelve year old had a babysitter. On the brink of becoming a teenager, attending high school, and adopting young adult responsibilities, this kid had to be supervised by a girl who was most likely only a few years older than him. SO strange, but whatever. That aside, we’re also curious as to why the babysitter thought it was fun and responsible to engage in some intimate games with the youngster she was advised to keep safe and protected from things, like predators or teenaged horndogs. She wasn’t exactly doing her job, but she did manage to keep the kid entertained by letting him practice his kissing skills before laying down a real smooch on a girl he’s actually interested in.

13. Super Hot On The Outside, Foul On The Inside

Before playing a game like Seven Minutes In Heaven or Spin the Bottle, it’s always a good idea to pop a Tic Tac or some other form of breath mint. Excel-erate your breath, people! Remember, bad breath isn’t sexy. The least you can do as a participant in a game where the only objective is to kiss other people is to keep your mouth fresh AF, for everyone’s sake. Games like this go down in history and are remembered by everyone involved, and you know it’s true just based on this confession alone (not to mention the others). Don’t be the person who people remember for having the breath that resembles a dead animal. The poor guy who was subjected to the nasty kiss, our hearts go out to you. You deserve a do-over and we can only hope that you met a lovely kisser later in life.

12. Yeesh, That’s Just Brutal

Wow. This confession would be funny if it wasn’t so darn sad. One of the most hopeful times that a loner kid can have is when they play a game of Spin the Bottle, because no matter what, someone is going to have to suck up their pride, cringe, and close their eyes as they kiss the player who is the least attractive in the group. While it’s unfortunate that someone would even make a face, that’s high school for you. And even if it’s dealt out with resentment, it’s still a kiss for the lonely recipient, so they could hardly care about the delivery. However, when everyone abandons ship the moment it’s their turn to play, it’s just evil. The least they could do was be strategic in their mass dismissal of the game. Jeeze.

11. That’s WAY Too Long To Wait, Girl

Okay, so with our quick calculation we’ve determined…that’s over a decade, woman! How can you go ten-plus years without kissing another human being? At the age of thirteen, that’s when all your kissing days are just beginning, and you’ve missed them all! Now you’re in your mid-twenties and have longed for the sensation of another man’s lips against yours? We can’t even imagine the state of your libido right now. Given the fact that you haven’t made out in your young adult life, we can also assume that you haven’t gotten jiggy with it either. While it’s certainly likely for many twenty-somethings to remain a virgin, it’s less likely that they haven’t so much as participating in some tonsil hockey. Our advice? Jump on Tinder ASAP and make it happen.

10. There Is Just SO Much Wrong With This

Okay, so the whole premise of Seven Minutes In Heaven is to kiss another person, secluded in a closet, for seven whole minutes. It’s a pretty hard-core game for teens, since it is a heck of a lot of time to be kissing someone. You’re bound to feel all kinds of emotions and physical reactions that often lead to more sensual encounters. When it comes to making out, it’s often done between people who share some sort of feelings for one another (regardless of whether or not they’re stuffed into a closet for a game). For these kissing cousins, we’re pretty shocked by more than one part of this confession. The first being the fact that they’re cousins who are full-on making out. The second is the fact that they’re ten, not teens, ten freakin’ years old. At that age, you should be building Lego towers or playing video games with your cousin, not getting a taste of each other’s lunch.

9. Can Someone Say Desperate?

When you’re in high school, playing Seven Minutes In Heaven is either the scariest thing to happen to you while at a party, or the most exciting. It is also quite a privilege to be invited to a party that is hosted by teens who are cool enough to suggest such a game. It becomes the most excellent excuse for you to not only practice your Frenching skills, but also get close to one or more members of the party and stir up all of those teenaged hormones that have been brewing recently. Of course it’s a pretty fascinating experience, and even a right of passage, but it’s not for everyone, and not everyone gets to participate in the event. For high schoolers, the experience is about as common as someone joining the jazz band – not very likely. For the person who just confessed to wanting to play it to get close to a guy, explore other options if you are truly eager to cure the lonelies.

8. You Always Remember Your First Time

Dang! We’re not sure how this gal kisses, but we’re guessing that she’s pretty skilled, given the fact that she encouraged another female to switch teams. Add the fact that this long-lost woman gave her ex-kissing partner her number later in life, and you definitely have a chick who hasn’t been able to shake her first female smooch from her mind, even years later. That’s one powerful kiss and an impactful and memorable game of Spin the Bottle, to say the least. While it’s probably a wasted effort for the lesbian to pass along her digits, since it seems like this gal isn’t exactly into females, it’s not quite as adorable a story as it could have been. What makes this a crummy confession is the thought that the lesbian pal has waited so long to experience the kiss she’ll never have again.

7. That’s One Hot Burn

Oh boy, that’s gonna hurt a little. How can you make-out with someone, like twenty times, and not even acknowledge their existence? That’s some brutal act that is so mean we beg to question just how true this statement is. We suspect some mild drama, however men can be real dogs, so who really knows? After all, he did give in to the temptation of kissing her, so how offended is he really by his ex? Probably not very likely, or he could have refused to participate. Simple. Our bet? He’s still totally hung up on her and is playing hard to get to make her jealous, and it looks like it’s working from the sounds of it. This is high school sociology 101, folks. By pretending that she doesn’t exist, he makes it seem as if he’s moved on to interests outside of her. Stings, doesn’t it?

6. This Game Should Come With A Warning

People with braces should come with a warning label. “POSSIBLE RISK ASSOCIATED WITH KISSING AND/OR CHEWING GUM”. With sharp objects resting between your teeth and lips, it’s an accident waiting to happen when they approach the mouth of another person. While it’s certainly not impossible to kiss while sporting dental hardware, it does come with its set of hazards, such as causing your make-out partner to bleed. Ouch! All that metal is not exactly easy to adjust to, even to the wearer, so it would be even more difficult to navigate for someone who is approaching the gear for the first time. Cuts are bound to happen for someone who hasn’t experienced the “joy” of kissing someone with braces. What makes this confession worse is that they cut the other person’s tongue while in the presence of other people, which only means that kissing is not happening again for them until they’re free of their tooth shackles.

5. When The Rejector Needs Something From The Rejected

Let this be a lesson to you all: how you treat people in your youth could one day come back and bite you in the rear. For Becky, this means the possible denial of having a crop-hoarding buddy to waste time and resources with online. Tsk, tsk. She’s probably kicking herself for not pressing her pursed eleven-year-old lips against her classmate’s. Now this Whisper user has got the upper hand against the gal who rejected the rules of Spin the Bottle (and the kiss of the hopeful little boy). While it’s funny to imagine the concept someone popping up out of the blue to send a FarmVille request to someone from grade school, it’s also kind of weird that he’s held that kind of resentment towards the gal who rejected him. Who wants to be weighed down by a memory like that?

4. That’s A Super Creepy Way To Talk To Someone You Work With

This person is both hella creepy, but also super self-aware. He’s totally clued into the fact that he’s coming off as a total predatory worm, but for some reason that thought didn’t occur to him before he spoke those suggestive words. We can just imagine what his propositioned coworker must have been thinking. “Omg. Time to GTFO of here.” The thing about guys is – as we’re collectively learning as a society – is that they have no filter or sense of what is offensive when it comes to women. Their harassment knows no bounds, primarily because they lack the logic to keep every thought they have to themselves, which is painfully clear in this confession, since he’s expressed real concern over his creepy AF proposal.

3. Hey, That’s Not How You Play The Game

I mean, to some people sitting behind closed doors eating candy could be considered heavenly, but that’s not a game, and it’s definitely not as exciting as the game is intended to be. Everyone knows the purpose of Seven Minutes In Heaven, and frankly, both participants were totally gypped out of an experience that could have jumpstarted their whole primal existence. Okay, we’re being a tad dramatic, but this is just such a sad confession that it definitely takes the cake for being one of the worst stories we’ve heard as it concerns this game intended for titillated teens. The next time this opportunity presents itself for these two – if there ever is a next time – we hope they make the right decision, for their sakes.

2. We’d All Be Depressed If We Compared Our Lives To TV Characters

If we all compared our lives to TV characters – fictional or not, animated or not – we’d all be feeling a little down on ourselves. We’re not rich, we don’t have talking dogs, we don’t get caught up in dramatic love triangles between vampires and werewolves, we don’t bust into song and dance on the daily, and we definitely don’t have conversations revolving around witty and rehearsed banter. While we’d all love to submerse ourselves inside of our favourite plots to be played out by our favourite actors, that’s not real life. And neither is the fact that someone gave cartoon character Tina Belcher a chance to score during a game of Spin the Bottle. While it’s certainly something to entertain you, it really shouldn’t be something to be admired or envied. Instead, turn off the TV and try to start up a game between you and your friends.

1. Couldn’t Have Been Much Of A Crush Now, Was He?

At first you’d think that this confession was going well, given the fact that some gal was given the chance to make out with her crush on three different occasions, but then it took a turn for the worse when she admitted to turning him down in his request – not a bottle-dictated requirement – to kiss again. Like, why? Since no explanation was given as to why this was “for the best”, we have to assume it was for reasons that far outweighed the benefit of this crush becoming something more. Was he a bad kisser? Did he have bad breath? Did she think the private kissing would lead to something she wasn’t prepared for? Whatever the reason for turning down her crush (an occurrence that so rarely ever happens in life), we’re hoping it didn’t forever ruin her chances of landing this guy in the future.

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