As a guy, I feel like I have a pretty good idea about what goes on inside male brains. But for some of our female readers, this can seem like a total mystery. Just like we guys sometimes have a hard time figuring out what girls are thinking, girls often can't quite understand what our thoughts are in a relationship. And if you're dating an introvert like me, it can be even harder to figure out what you man wants from the relationship... or whether he even wants to be with you anymore. But even if you're dating the most outgoing guy in the entire world, guys have a knack for keeping their cards very close to their chests.
We've basically been conditioned since day one by society to be as emotionless as possible. Showing our feelings, or any passion whatsoever, is seen a sign of weakness, or so we've been led to believe. That means that when your man wants to leave you high and dry, you might never see it coming. However, I feel like I know enough about the male brain to let you know about a few simple signs to look for if you're worried your man is about to break your heart...
16 He Has Trouble Keeping Eye Contact
This is a huge sign to look for if you're worried your man is about to break your heart. When I see something or someone that I don't like, I would rather look anywhere but towards them. Seeing that person that I want to break up with just gives me that awful, depression feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I'd rather not be confronted by it.
So if your man has trouble looking at you, that's a huge sign that he's having doubts about the relationship.
This is even more of an obvious sign if he has trouble looking you in the eye. Watch him and see if he can maintain eye contact with you for more than a few seconds. If he can't, then he's probably feeling guilty about what he's about to do - break your heart. And if he really doesn't like you, then he might actually feel repulsed when he looks at you... Either way, if I was about to break a girl's heart, I'd have trouble looking her in the eye...
15 He Doesn't Introduce You As His Girlfriend
For some guys, girlfriends can be a status symbol. Having an awesome, good-looking and charming girl by your side can make a guy look like a total boss, or at least that's how I feel when my girl is next to me. But if I wasn't with a girl who I was proud of, I would probably be pretty reluctant to introduce her as my girlfriend, especially to my friends or people I respected.
So if your man seems like he often introduces you as a "friend," or merely says your name, you might have something to worry about.
Although it might seem like it's pretty shallow to view women as a status symbol, I'd like to remind you all that you probably do the same thing but with guys. Who can honestly tell me that having a cool or hot boyfriend isn't something you want to show off to your friends? Well, put yourself in the guy's shoes, and suddenly it becomes clear why he doesn't introduce you as his girlfriend - he doesn't plan on having you as a girlfriend much longer, and he wants to break your heart...
14 He Tells You He's Not Looking For A Serious Relationship Right Off The Bat
Okay, on very rare situations, relationships that start off as non-committal and casual evolve into serious long-term relationships. But generally speaking, if a guy tells you that he wants to start the relationship off as something casual, or if he wants to be "friends with benefits," that means he's only interested in "conquering you" and moving on to the next girl. That's what I would be thinking if I told a girl that. Don't fool yourself into thinking that he will one day fall in love with you and choose to take the relationship more seriously.
Most people (guys and girls) decide how they feel about someone within the first 5 minutes of meeting them. When I look at a girl, I can immediately tell whether I want to have a long-term relationship with her or not. There is a third category, and that's pure physical attraction - and nothing else. If he tells you he doesn't want a serious relationship, you're in that third category, and he will end up breaking your heart if you have feelings for him.
13 They've Had Their Hearts Broken In The Past
Guys can get hurt by women just as badly as women can. I know I've been hurt. But haven't we all? However, what really matters is that we learn to move on and put that pain behind us. Some people just can't do that, and both men and women can turn to some pretty disturbing behaviors to try to deal with their past relationship trauma. I'm talking of course about revenge.
It can be pretty easy to take your anger out on people who don't deserve it at all.
I've considered doing it, but some men aren't able to stop themselves. They've been hurt by a woman in the past, and they take out their pain on other women as revenge. If you meet a guy who's had his heart broken in the past, you'd better make sure he's over it. Because if he isn't, he might break your heart - just so he can feel some misguided sense of victory over his traumatic past.
12 Their Eyes Wander To Other Women
I'll be the first to admit that just because I'm in a relationship with a girl, it doesn't mean I stop noticing other women. It's not like I don't have genuine feelings for my girlfriend, it's just a part of my brain that I can't turn off. Most guys are like this, and it's just the way we're hardwired. Evolution has made us notice when we see attractive women, and there's nothing we can do about it.
That being said, there's a limit to how much "eye wandering" is acceptable.
He can't control a quick, subconscious glance to another woman on the street, but his eyes should come right back to you.
You might be mad, but you only have to really worry if he seems to stop caring that you're even there, taking his sweet time and checking her out for several seconds. It's disrespectful, it shows that he's thinking about who his next girl will be, and it shows that he's already made up his mind to break your heart.
11 He Doesn't Want To Meet Your Family
If I want to meet a girl's family, that means that I'm committed to a long-term relationship. It means that I can feel good about looking the girl's mother and father in the eye and being honest with them about my feelings for their daughter. It means that I don't have any fear of their family or what they might think of me because I know my intentions are genuine and innocent.
If, for some reason, I didn't have serious feelings about a girl I was with, I would be extremely reluctant to meet their parents. Breaking the heart of a girl is one thing, but being deceptive towards her parents about my intentions is much, much worse. Guys who will eventually break your heart don't want to take a serious step forward like meeting your family.
10 He Texts His Exes (Or Other Women)
Sometimes, we all have trouble getting over our exes. And there's nothing we can do about that. I'd be lying if I said my thoughts didn't wander from time to time about what could have been with my exes, even when I'm in a happy relationship with another woman. But if I'm with a girl who I care about deeply, I don't text my exes, and I definitely don't text random girls.
Obviously, if he's texting a girl who he's working with or someone he's just friends with, that's totally acceptable. But if you catch him texting a girl who he hasn't told you about, that should raise some serious red flags.
If a guy is thinking about breaking your heart, his mind is always on "plan B," or the girl who he will start dating after he breaks up with you. He might already have a side girl lined up, and you could be totally unaware.
9 He Gives One-Word Answers
I have to be honest, I'm totally guilty of this. As an introvert, giving one-word answers is something I do naturally, and I sometimes have to really remind myself to be more expressive and elaborate on my thoughts. Girls usually call me out on it, and I try to change those bad habits. Often, I'm not even giving one-word answers because I'm in a bad mood, it's just an automatic response.
But if your man is constantly giving one-word answers, and doesn't seem able to fully engage with you during conversations, you should be worried.
This is especially true if you call him out on it and he doesn't stop. Giving one-word answers is a sign that he's totally disinterested in talking to you, and you might even be a source of frustration for him. This is another sign he could break your heart soon...
8 He's Not Interested In Your Passions/Hobbies
You can't expect guys to be fully enthusiastic about every hobby or interest you have. Like many guys, I get the cold shoulder when I don't act overly enthusiastic about my girl's new nails that she took hours to paint. And I'm probably not that interested when she's talking about a TV show that I have no interest in watching. But I at least make an effort to ask some questions and nod my head and smile.
Guys who act totally disinterested in your hobbies and interests don't even want to make the effort to act like they care. And that's a big distinction.
They aren't interested in you passions because they don't really want to get to know you - they just want a few weeks or months and fun before they move on, and break your heart.
7 When You're Together, The Connection Seems Lost
Girls can usually tell whether or not there's an emotional connection when they're intimate with their guy. There's a clear difference between a relationship that is based on one thing, and one thing only, and one that relies heavily on an emotional connection. Guys can often focus too heavily on that one aspect of a relationship, and forget about the emotional aspect.
Many guys have made this mistake, myself included. But it's really easy to tell whether a guy just forgets to do the little things - like look you in the eye and tell you he loves you, or whether he's totally unconcerned with making an emotional connection when you two are together. If he's in a relationship just for the 'intimate' aspect, then he will get bored and break your heart eventually.
6 He's Full Of Himself And Thinks He's Out Of Your League
Confidence can be a really attractive feature. I only started to really get attention from girls when I was confident in my own skin and felt relaxed talking to girls. In my experience, women aren't really that attracted to guys who are too afraid to make the first move, or guys who don't have the self-confidence to take what they want, when they want.
But there's a big difference between self-confidence and acting like you're totally full of yourself.
Confidence can easily become overconfidence, but some women can still be attracted to guys who act like they're out of everyone's league.
Don't make this mistake. If he's acting like you're beneath him, that doesn't make him "cool." It means that he'll probably end up breaking your heart.
5 When He Gets Home, He Doesn't Want To Spend Time With You
If I'm having a particularly bad day, the one thing that keeps me going is the thought that I'll see my girlfriend at the end of it all. A lot of other guys feel the same way, and thinking about that special someone is the thing that can get them through some seriously terrible situations and days. When they finally get back home, they can't wait to spend some time with their girlfriend.
So if you're in a relationship with a guy who comes home and seems totally disinterested in spending some quality time with you, that should be a huge red flag.
If he goes straight to the TV and starts watching sports or playing video games, you know right away that you're not that thing that he looks forward to at the end of the day. And that's a huge sign that he'll eventually break your heart.
4 He Accuses You Of Nagging Constantly
Take it from me, nagging is one of the most annoying things a girl can do in a relationship. If it gets seriously excessive, it can be a total deal breaker. Most girls don't actually nag that much, but when they do, it can get quite frustrating. That being said, some guys (including myself) can admittedly overreact and accuse girls of nagging when they're really not doing too much wrong.
If your boyfriend accuses you of nagging constantly, that's his way of pushing you away. Maybe the thing that's really nagging him is that sinking feeling of realization - that you're not really the girl he wants to be with. Even simply reminding him of something can be a huge reminder to him that he's in a relationship with a girl he doesn't want to be with, and will eventually have to break up with.
3 He Makes Excuses To Flake Out On Dates
If I'm with a girl that I care about, she is the number one priority. Barring some kind of massive emergency or something like that, there would be no way that I would cancel a date with her. This is because I know that it would communicate to her that I don't really care about her, and because I want her to feel like she's the most important person in the world to me.
So if you're with a guy who constantly flaking out on dates, making lame excuses as to why he can't make it, then it should be a huge red flag for you.
If he's already disrespecting you by not keeping his commitments, he's probably not going to think twice about completely and utterly breaking your heart. It's definitely something to look out for.
2 He'd Rather Spend Time With His Friends
There's nothing wrong with a guy who has some good, close friends. I can attest to the fact that there is real value in meeting up with male friends every once in a while. I can behave differently around guys, and sometimes that's a nice and refreshing change. It's probably good for a guy's mental health to have a few laughs with their friends every once in a while.
But when he chooses his friends over you, that's when you need to really start worrying. The best relationships I've been in are ones where I feel like I'm best friends with the girl. So he really shouldn't be missing anything by choosing to hang out with you instead of his guy friends. If he'd rather spend time with his friends with you, he might just break your heart sometime in the future.
1 That Gut Instinct
I have witnessed firsthand the power of female intuition. There are times where I've been so glad that I listened to my girlfriend's advice, as she tends to have really good instincts. While all women might not be like that, there is real value in listening to what your heart is telling you. Most of us are aware deep down of what the right path, we only have to listen to ourselves.
The number one way to tell if a guy is going to break your heart is by listening to your gut instinct.
There will be that voice deep down inside of you, warning you that this guy will eventually leave you high and dry. Too many girls choose to ignore these voices, but trust me, if you listen to what your subconscious is telling you, you won't regret