The thing about life is that it has a hell of a lot of roadblocks and setbacks ready for us, but it doesn’t give a warning sign, so we are never ready for it. Sometimes, just when we thought we got life in order or at least a few parts of it, the sh*tstorm hits us and everything goes back to a messy state. It’s insanely annoying – and probably depressing – to think about how many times this can happen in a lifetime. How many times we have to deal with the mess, try to clean it up, one after. You thought you got it all okay and you’re ready to run freely, savoring the rest of what this world can offer, until you hit another roadblock. The good thing though is that this happens to all of us. It’s not just you having a tough time, having one of those days. There may not be comfort in knowing that others are struggling too, but there’s probably comfort in knowing life didn’t pick only you, out of all the 7 billion people, to have massive bad days.
16 Don’t worry about what others think
Seriously, don’t. It’s probably inevitable for us to sometimes wonder what others are thinking about our clothes or our hair or our lifestyle. But the more we think of it, chances are, we will be obsessed. And when not attended to immediately, we’ll end up focusing on what others think than what we feel. You don’t want to make a decision based on the potential thoughts of others, would you? So here’s a tip, instead of thinking what other people will think of you, acknowledge that they have the right to think. They have the right to say whatever they want to say and feel however they want to feel. But know that your life is not about these people. Your life is about you. And no matter what you do, there will be people who will say things you won’t like. So don’t get caught with this and just focus on what you think and how you feel.
15 Invest in yourself
Yes. By invest, I mean spend money on yourself. But also love and care and time. Keep in mind that you can’t expect people to care about you if you don’t even care about yourself. Don’t expect others to find time to hang out with you when you can’t even find time to get to know yourself better. There’s so much in this world that can grab our attention, and there’s nothing wrong with paying attention. However, on days when you feel terribly numb (or when you feel too much), it’s wise to be reminded that maybe it’s time to invest in yourself. Spoil yourself a little and buy the things you’ve been wanting to buy for months now. Eat at a fancy restaurant and instead of hurrying because you still have to get back to work, savor your meal. Leave more time in each day for you to spend some alone time. Just because life isn’t good at the moment doesn’t mean you have to treat yourself badly too.
14 You deserve love
In a busy world where people climb lots of ladders each day – career ladders, social ladders – forgetting self-love is so easy. Forgetting the things we deserve and being caught up with the things we have to do is a long-term trend. So perhaps the bad days are happening because the universe wants to remind you something. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to love yourself, and that you deserve love from other people. You deserve so much and just because you’re not receiving doesn’t mean it’s not for you. Everyone deserves love and care, including you and the many other people struggling with a rough life. No matter what you’ve done or what you haven’t done, always be reminded that accomplishments in life is never the one and only basis for who deserves love. So when things feel so gloomy, remember that your heart is beating for a reason. Not just to pump blood but also to make you feel.
13 Even the rich and the genius have problems
If you think you’re the only person having tough times, and you snapped out of it and realized it’s a very silly idea to think, don’t kick yourself. Don’t self-loathe because believe it or not, we all get these thoughts all year ‘round. There will be moments when you have so much on your plate and you can’t deal with it anymore. Days when you’ll spend hours ranting and whining about how much this world hates you. It doesn’t. It sucks, life sucks, but the world doesn’t hate you. And most certainly, you’re not the only person who has problems. Because no matter how rich or poor you are, no matter how smart or dumb you think you are, problems are always there. It doesn’t pick someone from the crowd. It rains over that crowd and watches how people deal with it. So no, it’s not just you who have really bad days.
12 It’s okay to ask for help
We often think that when we hit adulthood, when we reach the point where we are confident we can make it through this world, we can do it alone. Sorry to burst your bubble dear friend, but this is just not part of the reality. Rich people don’t get rich on their own. They have friends and family and even strangers around them who helped. And there were moments in their lives where they needed to ask for help. Doctors, when confused, seek help and advice from other doctors. That’s just how the world works. If you’re clueless about something, if you don’t think you can make it to tomorrow, ask for help. Ask for advice. This universe won’t be able to know you’re having trouble if you don’t seek help. And besides, there’s totally nothing wrong with asking help. It just means you’re brave enough to admit there are things you can’t do alone.
11 This world is a scary place, everybody is afraid
When life is throwing hurls of problems at you, it’s not impossible for you to feel afraid. Anyone who is being put in a situation where problems and obstacles don’t seem to end will probably feel afraid. But then again, this world is a scary place. Every single day we would reach a crossroads where we have to make a decision and deciding is a scary thing to do. So don’t feel bad when you realize you’re afraid. Don’t feel like you’re being immature. Everybody in this grand place has fear living inside of them. And fear isn’t as bad as what most people think. Fear allows us to think in more angles than one, see a photo in more than one lens. Instead of having a pity party because you think fear is eating you alive, keep in mind that this world is a scary place and everybody living in it feels afraid every now and then.
10 Keep creating
Sometimes, when life becomes insanely confusing, we end up sitting on the floor, crying and wondering what the hell is going on and why can’t we do anything right. Yes, we all have those moments, and they are terrible moments. The next time you have those bad moments, don’t choose to sit and cry and wait for someone to pick you up. Move around and find something to create. Literally anything. Create even if you have no idea what you’re creating. Scribble on a piece of paper or type anything on your computer. Spend hours in the kitchen and figure out how Oreo makes their cookies taste so good. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to cry. You are, and crying is good. But don’t spend months moping over a bad life, because life can only be bad if you let it be. Always remember that you are in control and you can choose. Choose to create.
9 Great things take time
Waiting is boring and by now, we all probably know that. So when you’ve spend months, maybe even years on something and nothing is happening, don’t bury yourself on the ground. Remember that great things take time. Maybe you need more time and you need to exert more effort. Maybe more days of working hard on something means unearthing some valuable lessons. Who knows? It’s easy to forget the value of time and how it can affect us. In a digital world, we think everything can be done in one click or one tap or one call. But if nothing is happening, maybe that’s a sign that you’re up for something bigger than what you pictured, and the universe wants to give you more time to prepare. Life is tricky, my friends. Instead of dwelling on the idea that nothing seems to be happening, be more patient. You never know what this world is up to.
8 There’s nothing wrong in not knowing
Have you ever met someone who is so good at pretending she knows everything that you almost fell for it? I’m guessing yes since this world is full of those kind of people. There are just so many people who seem to have mastered the art of pretending they know everything. And these same people tend to love to belittle those who are brave enough to admit they don’t know everything. It sucks. But it’s great to be reminded that there’s actually nothing wrong in not knowing. There’s nothing wrong if life puts you in a storm and you don’t know how to get out of it… so you ask help from others. Because fact is, no matter how many years you live, there’s just no way to know everything. Don’t let those annoying people get into you. Don’t let them belittle you and most certainly do not belittle yourself because of the mere fact of not knowing. It’s okay. It’s fine.
7 You got this
Of course, you do. Life may suck today and tomorrow and even until the next six months, but you got this. Never ever forget that. Life is tough on you for a reason and that’s because life knows you’re a fine and strong woman who can take on every storm that would arrive. You are where you are today because you have passed many storms already. Here may not always sound as far as you hoped for, but keep in mind that you deserve every bit of what today can offer. Instead of feeling down because you think nothing will ever go right, remember that you got through to yesterday and you can certainly get through tomorrow if you want. Acknowledge all your emotions, even if it means acknowledging that you are tired and you want to cry. Not everyone can face tiredness in the face. Allow yourself to feel and to rest. You got this.
6 It’s okay to feel tired
Aside from making mistakes, another thing people tend to be ashamed to admit is the fact that they’re tired. We all whine and complain with our friends about how exhausted we are and how unhappy we are with life. But when we’re alone and we get to really think things through, it’s seldom for people to tell themselves I am very tired and I want to rest. Complaining with friends is a lot easier than complaining to yourself because no one else would cheer you up. But maybe you don’t need cheering up. Sure, it’s great to have people around saying you can do it. It’s also equally great to confront yourself and be honest about how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to admit to yourself that you’re tired. Life can be exhausting and we all know that. We all get to the point where we just want to stay in bed the whole day. There’s nothing wrong with giving that to yourself sometimes.
5 Life isn’t about control, it’s about going with the flow
Humans are controlling machines. We all love to control the events happening and even the people around us. If you’re not tired now then you’ll surely be tired soon, because trying to control everything won’t do you any good aside from draining your energy. And when things get out of hand, you’ll be borderline disappointed because you thought you’ve taken full control, but you didn’t. So instead of focusing on control, try focusing on going with the flow. Let life take you wherever the hell it wants to take you, and in every stop, show the world that you rule. Show life that no matter where it takes you, you’ll still look glamorous. Because you are. We all need to take control of our lives because we are responsible for it, but that’s not to say we can’t be carefree people. When everything feels rough, just go with the flow and enjoy everything that comes with this experience.
4 You don’t get penalized for wanting to pause
If there’s one thing common in most people these days, it’s that they’re all hustling. Most of us are so fond of multi-tasking and trying to finish as many tasks as we can in 24 hours. We think sleep is enough to recharge us for another hustle-filled day tomorrow. Well, guess what, that’s just not how it works. Or at least not how it works long-term. Hustling is fine, but getting caught up with all the events in life that you have no time for yourself – that’s a totally different story. Don’t wait for the day you’ll snap and fall down the anxiety hole. When you wake up one day and you realized how tired you are body and soul, tell yourself you will pause for the day. Tell yourself you acknowledge today’s responsibilities and expectations from you but you need to pause and rest. You will not get penalized for it.
3 You are worthy of so many beautiful things
Yes, you are, my friend. You are worthy of love and care and a box of chocolates and a shopping spree and free yoga class. You are worthy of so many material things and so much of the non-material ones. Never ever forget that. More often than not, we think we’re only worthy of this and that if we have achieved this and that. We think we’re worthy of a vacation only if we worked our butts off for one whole year. We think we need to give first before we become worthy of things. That’s just not how it is. because the mere fact that you got to today, the fact that you made it past yesterday, that’s something. And you need to acknowledge that. Don’t belittle yourself because you sucked at work yesterday or you cried for hours for no reason. We all have those moments, but such moments don’t define what we’re worthy of.
2 You are amazing
There are so much going on each day that we tend to forget to look ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge how amazing we are. Existing is amazing. You don’t need a promotion or a brand new relationship or anything grand happening in your life before you can say you’re amazing. Well, yes, those things do make you amazing but even without it, you still are. We’re caught up with so much material things this world can give that we base our worth on it. Those who run their own companies and startups are amazing people. Those who work as a janitor are not so amazing. That is plainly insane. Your lifestyle matters, but beyond that, even the most basic idea that you’re living today and you’re not hurting other people, that makes you amazing. It makes you one fine amazing woman this world needs to see. Always remember that you are worthy of a spot here.
1 You are valid
We all know how life can be a crazy rollercoaster. We also know how society’s standard on almost everything is insanely high. Well, guess what, you don’t always have to meet those standards. However you feel and whatever you think, those are all valid. You don’t need other people to make the validation for you. If today feels unbearably heavy and sad then so be it. Such feelings are valid. You can feel the heaviness and sadness and you do not need anyone to make the call for you. Keep in mind that life may be rough today but it’s definitely not going to be rough forever. But regardless, you have the right to feel however you want to feel and nobody can take that right away from you. Because your thoughts and emotions and ideas are just as valid as others’. Feeling unhappy or depressed do not make you any less of a good person.