All right. You've been with him for a long time. You get along great and you've been spending every free minute of every one of your days with him. If you're not staying at his house, he's staying at yours. In fact, you both even have keys to each other's homes and go there even when one of you isn't there. Long story short: You're in a serious, committed relationship. So, one day, he asks you to dinner with him and pops the question. No, not that question. This question, "Will you move in with me?" You reply, "of course." After all, you're practically living together already, what could be different? Well, a lot. Moving in with him changes a lot in relationships some for the good and some for... well, not for the good. Don't worry, though most of us have been there before and we've got your back. Read below to find out 16 things that happen after you move in with him.
16 Your Friends Become His And Vice Versa
Before you started living together, you both knew each other's friends. You'd meet them at a bar for a drink or you'd go to their Holiday parties. You were always friendly with them but never knew them more than "your boyfriend's friends." However, since you've moved in together, you've become closer with his friends and he's become close with yours. Why? Well, whenever either of you wants to hang out with your friends, they come to the home that the two of you share. When your best friend comes over, it's only natural that your boyfriend takes a break from whatever it is he's doing to say hello and hang out with the two of you for a bit if he has time. If his friends come over, you do the same. As time passes, you stop seeing his friends as "your boyfriend's friends" and simply start seeing them as your friends too.
15 Money Comes Into Play More Often
When you were living separately, you paid for your rent and he paid for his. You paid for your groceries and he paid for his. You paid your bills and he paid his. Now, you share the majority of these things. Depending on what the two of you agreed on when you first moved in, chances are, you split the bulk of your bills. Therefore, you most likely argue about having to do this, especially if you're used to living alone. He screams at you when you take hour long showers because he knows how high the water bill will be at the end of the month and you yell at him every time he forgets to turn the lights off before he leaves the house because you know how high the electricity bill will be. If you buy groceries and he decides he's going to eat all of them without even asking, you flip out.
14 Space Isn't Easy To Come By
Before you moved in together, you were always able to have some alone time. Even if you were spending all of your free time with him, it was because you chose to, not because you had nowhere else to go. After all, if you wanted space, you could just go to your place for a while. Now, your home is his home and his home is your home. Therefore, space can be a difficult thing to have and find. For example, if you get into a huge fight with him and need to be alone to cool off but live in a studio apartment, you might feel a bit trapped. Or, if you're used to spending your Sunday's alone listening to your favorite music and reading gossip columns, you may find the need for more space when you find out he spends his Sunday's blasting football and getting wasted on the couch.
13 You Have A Hard Time Spending Quality Time Together
This is perhaps the most common and most frustrating thing that happens when you and him move in together. When you lived separately, you'd always make plans to see each other and when you did hang out, that's all you did. Your focus was on him and his focus was on you. Now, though, because you live together, things are different. You no longer have to "plan" to see each other as you see each other whenever you're home. However, that doesn't mean you necessarily get the quality time you used to have. After all, just because you're in the same room doesn't mean you're really focusing or communicating with one another. For example, he might be on his phone and your might be cleaning. Therefore, since you've moved in together, you still have to plan to hang out or make an effort to be present with each other even though it seems like you're always together.
12 You See Sides Of Each Other You Didn't Realize Existed
When you lived separately, you were aware that he liked to keep his home clean. Whenever you went to his house, he wouldn't hesitate to clean up after you and everything was always spick and span. Of course, you never thought much of it. In fact, you sort of liked the way his closet was organized and preferred to have a clean boyfriend over a messy one. However, when you finally moved in together, you realized he was more than just "clean," he was a total neat freak. So much so that he can't sleep at night if he thinks there's a dirty dish in the kitchen sink and can't leave for work in the morning unless he makes his bed. On the weekends, he likes to re-organize already organized closets. He obsessively cleans even if there's not a mess to be tidied and drives both you and himself crazy.
11 You Spend More Time At Home
When you were dating each other, you used to meet at restaurants, go to the movies, or meet your friends at a bar. Before you moved in together, you rarely spent time at each other's homes. Perhaps he didn't like bothering your roommates and you thought his house was too messy. However, since you've decided to move in together and make a home for yourselves, things have changed quite a bit. You no longer feel the need to leave the home just to hang out or have fun. If you want to have dinner together, you go grocery shopping and cook at home or order in take-out. You no longer go out to see movies, instead, you just turn on Netflix or buy one to watch on the television. If you want to see your friends, you invite them over and share a six pack on your back patio.
10 You Become Very, Very Comfortable With Each Other
If you live in a small home or an apartment, this is especially true. Before you lived together, you were always sure you went to the restroom before he came over or very secretly if you were with him. Now, things have changed. You can't be bothered to turn on the shower every time you have to do number 2 and you can't hide the fact that you get aunt flow once a month. It's just a fact of life. Of course, you do your best to be respectful of each other but living together means you can't always have the privacy you want or need, even when it comes to doing whatever it is you do in the bathroom. He's going to smell your smells and see your trash and you're going to do the same for him. It's strange at first (and a bit embarrassing), but after a while, you just sort of accept it and get way too comfortable with it.
9 You Learn How To Compromise
You thought the bedroom should be painted light blue, he thought it should be painted brown. You wanted to turn the basement into your own personal workout studio and he wanted to turn it into a man cave. You want to have a relaxing Friday night at home and he wants to have a spur of the moment house warming party. You want to cook steak for dinner and he wants to cook burgers. Every decision you make affects him and every decision he makes affects you. Why? You now share the same home. Because you want him to be happy and because he wants you to be happy, you learn the true meaning of "compromise." At first, it was hard but you've figured out how to make it work: Either you let him have his way for one thing and then he lets you have your way for another or the two of you find a way to meet in the middle.
8 You Get Grossed Out... A Lot
As we stated earlier, when you move in with him, you lose a lot of the privacy you once had. If you have one bathroom, you see and smell things you never wanted to see or smell. If he's a slob, you're constantly finding his dirty dishes that should've been washed days ago. If you offer to do his laundry, you're repulsed by his gym socks and figure they haven't been cleaned since he purchased them years ago. If he shaves his beard, you find his little beard hairs on your toothbrush and almost gag. Let's face it: Most of the time, men tend to be a lot more sweaty, smelly, and messy than women. If it's your first time living with a man, it can be extremely gross. Therefore, it seems as if there's always something to be cleaned. You start having to wash your sheets more often, to scrub the bathroom weekly, and clean the kitchen daily in order to not want to throw up every time you're home.
7 Being Intimate Becomes Sporadic
When you weren't living together, the two of you got intimate almost every time you spent the night at his house or every time he spent the night at your house. It wasn't because it was "expected," it was just because you really enjoyed his company and wanted to take advantage of the time you had with him. You think that once you move in, that won't change and perhaps you'll even get intimate with him more often. However, after you moved in together, you found that wasn't exactly the case. Even if you still enjoy every second you're next to him, you can't always show him. After all, sometimes you're just not in the mood. Therefore, your private physical life becomes a bit more sporadic. Of course, you still sleep together, but not as much as you thought you would. For example, if you have a long day at work, you're exhausted and the last thing you want is to get it on.
6 You Start Thinking About Marriage More
Before you moved in with him, you were obviously serious about him and committed to the relationship. You both thought about your future and talked about it from time to time. However, when you talked about it, it was playful and light. If you did believe you were going to marry him, it seemed more like a dream than a reality and the thought only crossed your mind now and then. Since you've moved in with him, you can't seem to get the idea of marriage out of your heard. Why? Because you feel as though you're practically married already. After all, the only difference between what you're doing and what a married couple does is a shared bank account and a legal document. Not only do you share everything, but you also make most of your decisions together and spend the bulk of your time with one another. On top of that, since you've moved in with him, your relationship has gotten deeper and you've gained an understanding of what it might be like to marry him.
5 ... And So Does Everyone Else
It was clear from the moment everyone saw you and him together: You were meant to be. You're unlike any other girl he's ever dated and he's unlike any man you've been with. From the first moment you introduced him to your parents and your friends, they had an inkling that you were really serious about this guy and he was going to be around for the long haul. When you finally moved in together, they weren't surprised. In fact, they expected it. That being said, now that you've moved in together, they're expecting you two to take another step further- marriage. Traditionally, couples move in together after they get married. Therefore, it's quite normal that your friends and family would start to assume it's only a matter of time before you and him tie the knot. This is why it seems like since you've moved in with him, all anyone wants to do is ask you, "So when do you think he's going to propose?" or "When's the wedding?"
4 Your Fights Change
When you weren't living together, you used to fight about whose house you were going to stay the night at or where you were going to go to dinner. Now, you fight about a plethora of different things you never thought you'd have to fight about, things you used to think were petty or mindless. For example, he screams at you every time you steal his razor and forget to put it back wherever you found it. You become livid when you find out he's the one who's been carelessly using your forty dollar shampoo and conditioner on his shaved head. You fight about who's turn it is to take out the trash or walk the dog and you argue about who's messier, who takes on more responsibility at home, and who eats the bulk of your shared groceries. If you have one TV, trying to figure out what to watch is a whole debate in itself. It seems as though all the things you used to think were pointless to fuss about are now the catalyst for most of your heated discussions.
3 You Lose Your Filter
When you didn't live together, you cherished all of your time spent with him. You knew that you might not see him later in the day and wanted to enjoy every second next to him. Therefore, you made an effort to hold your tongue if you ever felt like you were going to freak out about something and/or start a fight in order to have a nice time together. Now, you know that whether you like it or not, he's going to be next to you at the end of the day. Because of this, you've lost your filter. If he's bothering you, you make it known. If you're in a bad mood, you don't put on a happy face. If you want to fight, you start a fight. Since you've started living with him, it's as if you've both forgotten how to be polite. You say whatever you're thinking and he does the same exact thing.
2 You Stop Noticing Things About Each Other
Just as you didn't notice your siblings or parents changing when you lived with them as a child, you also don't notice when your boyfriend changes either. Why? Because you see him every single day and most massive changes happen gradually over time. It's actually known that the more time you spend with someone the less change you notice in them. Of course, if he got a haircut, you would notice. However, you don't notice if he's gained ten pounds or if he's gotten gray hair and he doesn't notice if you've lost ten pounds or drastically changed your wardrobe since he's met you. In fact, the only time you notice significant changes in your partner is if you look back at old pictures of him or if someone points it out to you. Because you're a couple, you evolve together and unless you make an effort to observe each other closely every single day, you hardly realize the transformations you both go through.
1 You Learn How To Love In New Ways
You were in love with him before you moved in together. However, since you've started living together, your relationship has changed. You've become more than boyfriend and girlfriend, you've become partners and best friends. Your trust has deepened and you've learned to love each other in new ways. Why? Well, first of all, if you didn't, then you would both become bored with one another and most likely, lose interest. Second of all, when you live with someone, you're forced to see every side of them- the good and the bad. Of course, it can be challenging at times, but the more struggles you overcome as a couple, the stronger your bond becomes. Moving in together is a new chapter in both your lives, and with this, you will continue to grow together as you will with every step the two of you take in the future.