Getting cheated on sucks. Like, really sucks. In fact, the only thing that sucks worse than getting cheated on is getting cheated on and not knowing you’ve been cheated on. Getting cheated on and not knowing about it is the worst of the worst because you’re still under the impression that you’re in a healthy, loving relationship, but he’s out there getting it from other girls.
I KNOW! Doesn’t that make you want to, like, break his MacBook or something? By the way, that can be easily done by "accidentally" spilling a drink on his computer, which is awesome because he can’t fully blame you for that. Win win, ladies.
Okay, but before we talk about all the revenge, we have to talk about how to find out if you’ve been cheated on and you don’t know it. Well, there are little signs that will tip you off as to if your partner low-key cheating on you without you knowing it. Maybe it’s that he changed his schedule or his wardrobe. Maybe it’s that he’s been picking fights with you. Maybe he’s been extra nice to you. LADIES, THERE ARE SO MANY SIGNS.
Below are 16 signs you were cheated on and you didn’t even know about it. And again, always make breaking his computer look like an accident. It’s just easier that way.
16 He Stopped Sending You Those Funny Memes
If certain ways in which you communicated with each other suddenly cease to exist, it could be because he’s communicating with someone else in that way now. For example, you used to send each other goofy selfies on Snapchat and that’s stopped? Yeah, there could be a new person receiving those goofy selfies. He used to send you all the memes ever and that stopped? Yep, someone else is getting your memes, which is not cool because funny memes make life better. It could also be that he’s simply no longer giving you the play-by-play about his work day, which may be because he’s giving someone else the play-by-play. Whatever the case, if there’s a specific change in your communication, it could be because he’s started communicating with someone else in the manner.
Honestly, the idea of him sending another girl funny memes may be more hurtful than imagining him hooking up with another girl. I mean, there is no close intimacy than sharing memes.
15 He Started Showering A Lot More
Like I said, dudes can sometimes not be too into grooming themselves. It’s like they hated taking bathes when they were three years old and they somehow never grew out of that stage. Also – to all dudes ever – bathes are so awesome and you’re missing out.
That said, if he started showering a noticeable amount more, you could be in trouble. I mean, that’s great that he’s no longer smelly and stuff, but his new found love of showering could also be because he’s getting it on with someone else.
I obviously don’t know where your dude would be cheating – hotel room? backseat of a car? restaurant bathroom? office? The options are limited. That said, some of these cheating locations have a shower, like hotel rooms. Other cheating locations, like the backseat of his car, don't have showers. This could mean he could be getting it on and needing a shower after, because of fluids and stuff.
All I'm saying is beware of the guy who starts showers after he returns home from a long day at work, because lord knows he didn't work up a sweat updating that PowerPoint presentation.
14 There Was A Major Change In His Schedule
Sometimes a guy's schedule will change for legitimate reasons. If he just took a new job, he may be adjusting to a whole new schedule. Maybe he moved apartments and he's adjusting to a new neighborhood commute. Those situations are understandable.
However, if his schedule suddenly changes for no real reason, it may be because he’s made room for his side chick in it. I mean, cheating takes time, ladies. It’s a time consuming thing with all the flirting, texting, and banging. I honestly think that’s why less women cheat: Because we’re way too busy for it. (Though, assuming less women cheat may be sexist. We could be cheating just as much. Get it, ladies.)
Regardless, a person will need time in their schedule to cheat. If he’s suddenly working longer hours, taking longer lunch breaks, or working out for, like, 6-hours at a time? Yeah, he’s probably cheating on the DL. Though, it’s always tricky to bring this one up, since claiming he’s cheating when he tells you he’s working longer hours can be a slippery slope.
13 He Became More Protective Of His Phone
Ah, the phone. It keeps all his mysteries and all his secrets. If he is, in fact, cheating, the proof will be on that nifty little device. But getting your hands on his phone may not be enough, as he may know how to cover his tracks. He could mostly communicated with his other bae through Snapchat, in which case the texting and photos delete. (Love to hate and hate to love you, Snapchat.) He may also have his side bae saved under a different number. You wouldn’t think twice if you saw texts from his friend Bobby, but “Bobby” could really be Emma. Guys are just so sneaky.
Regardless of covering his tracks, if he's cheating he’ll for sure be very protective of his phone. If he suddenly has a new passcode or takes his phone to the bathroom with him, there may be something on his phone he doesn’t want you to see. Ugh, technology.
12 You Went Through A Fighting Phase
If he cheated on you, your relationship may have become rockier for a number of reasons.
One of the reasons may be guilt. Ah, guilt. Guilt is a power feeling that can manifest in many ways. The guilt can make him treat you better than ever, as pointed out earlier. The guilt can also manifest in him picking fights with you. In this way, he’s trying to even the playing ground. By fighting with you, he's proving the relationship isn't perfect, thus making him feel less guilty about cheating.
Another reason you may go through a fighting phase after he's secretly cheated is because he wants to breakup... but he’s too scared to breakup with you. UGH. What a coward, right? But let’s be real. The only think more cowardly than cheating is cheating and not being honestly with the person you cheated on. If he’s this kind of coward - the kind of coward who cheats and lies about it - he’ll try to fight with you until you eventually dump him. This way, he won't have to break up with you and he won't have to tell you about the cheating. If this is the case, you are so much better off without him.
11 He's Accused You Of Cheating
Guys, ALL THE GUILT! It makes people crazy. Like, guilt makes people actually, literally insane and crazy.
His guilt can manifest in many ways, and one of those ways is that he’s suddenly convinced you’ve cheated on him. Yeah, it seems like a kind of weird thought process. I mean, he cheats on you… and then accuses you of cheating? How does that work? Well, the reasoning here is that he’s cheated on you and gotten away with it. With that in his mind, his thinking then spirals into all the ways in which you could have also cheated on him and gotten away with it. If he can get away with it, you can too, right?
Beware of the guy who accuses you of cheating, because he’s either cheated himself or he’s super possessive. Either way, that’s not good.
10 He Always Wanted To Know Where You'd Be
If he want through a stage in which he was obsessed with knowing where you’d be at all times, it could be because he was cheating on you and this is because he was terrified you'd see him out with her.
If you are perhaps vague with your plans, it could freak him out. I mean, “grabbing happy hour with my girlfriends” could mean you’ll be anywhere and if he’s meeting up with his other lady, that could be very bad news for him. The last thing he’d ever want is for you to find out he’s cheating in public. Like, all three of you in public. There is literally nothing worse.
If he basically wanted a tracking device on you, it’s likely because he was out and about in a way he didn’t want you to see... AKA, with another girl. That, or he’s controlling. And neither of those things are very desirable.
9 He Abruptly Tried To Break Up With You For No Reason
Ah, this is a major one, ladies. If your guy tried to breakup with you out of no where and for no real reason, he may have cheated on you.
Let’s paint the picture: He texts you on a Friday night at 12:37am. Maybe he's drunk, maybe he's not. The text says he wants to breakup with you. AND THAT'S IT. No real information other than "bye forever." You're left scratching your head. WTF is happening? The next morning or next week comes and he suddenly wants to take it all back. He apologizes. He says he was drunk, or he wasn't thinking things through, or he was scared. The bottom line is he’s sorry. He doesn’t want to breakup with you after all. BOOM, and everything is back to being perfect in your life again.
If this flash breakup sounds familiar, he may have cheated on you. It may be that he tried to breakup with you so abruptly because he feels guilty about cheating on you. It may also be because he’s rather just end things than have to tell you about his infidelity. Either case, an abrupt breakup, that he then takes back, is a definite sign of cheating.
8 He's Said "You're Too Good For Me"
Hearing 'you're too good for me' may be the red flag of all red flags. I know it sounds sweet, but there is a dark side to this seemingly sweet phrase.
Basically, if a guy ever tells you that you’re too good for him, it’s because you are. Guys will always pull out the ‘you’re too good for me’ when something shady is going on. Maybe he’s been cheating on you, sexting with his ex-girlfriend, gambling, or doing something else behind your back. Whatever it is, he knows you’re literally too good for him because he’s keeping something bad from you.
'You're too good for me' always seems like a sweet statement, but there’s a seedy underbelly to it. Don’t be fooled. If he’s saying you’re too good for him, YOU ARE. And honestly, guys are all so arrogant that the only time they think we’re too good for them is when they’re being a total shade monster.
7 He Started Treating You Better Than Ever
This one is a toughie. If he started treating you better than ever, maybe he’s genuinely stepped up his boyfriend game, which is obviously a good thing. Hats off to that guy. However, him treating you better than ever can also be a bad sign.
If he’s suddenly being the best boyfriend ever - roses, presents, cooking dinner, making you bubble bathes, watching romantic comedies - it may be because he feels guilty about cheating on you. Beyond the guilt, he may not want to give you a reason to think he's cheated so he’s being extra nice and loving. He’s giving you all the attention so you'd never think he was giving attention elsewhere. And yes, it sucks. It sucks that you sometimes have to be suspicious of a boyfriend being a good boyfriend. It sucks that a boyfriend being a good boyfriend can sometimes mean he cheated on you, but thus is the dice roll of dating.
6 He Stopped Wanting To Be Seen In Public With You
Suddenly, he won’t be seen in public with you? Yeah, he totally cheated on you, girl.
In this situation, he’ll probably be low-key. Like, he’ll suddenly want to re-binge all of Game of Thrones with you, which means about 1,000 hours of being inside. Guys, are sneaky like that. They’ll totally use your love of Jon Snow to manipulate you, so don't let your love of Game of Thrones distract you from what's really going on.
If he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, it’s likely because he’s scared of bumping into his side-bae while he's with you. He could also be scared of his buddies may act weird around you, since they all probably know about him bumping uglies with someone else.
Whatever the case, he’ll try to pretty much keep you inside at all costs, as there’s just too many traps in the outside world.
5 He Tried To Distance Himself From You (Physically AND Emotionally)
Pushing you away is 100% a thing a guy will do when he’s cheated on you behind your back and this could be for several sneaky reasons.
If he’s looking for an "excuse" for cheating on you, he may push you away. In this case, he’s making his infidelity okay in his head, as he can say you weren’t there for him physically or emotionally. His pushing you away is to try and create some blame on your part, which NO WAY. Nope. Hard no. Him cheating is never your fault. I mean, all relationships are complicated, but cheating is never the fault of the person who was cheated on. It just isn't.
Other reasons he's pushing you away, either physically or emotionally, could be because of the guilt he feels or because he's trying to make you break up with him.
Basically, if there's suddenly a wall of ice between you and him, that ain't good.
4 Your Gut Tells You He Cheated
TRUST. YOUR. GUT.
That deep down feeling that he cheated on you can make you crazy. Suddenly you’re over-analyzing everything he says. You’re going through his phone and computer. You’re spying on him. Girl, I’ve been there. The thing to remember is that if someone is making your suspicious, you’re usually not crazy. There is definitely something going on. And sure, maybe he’s not cheating, but there is something shady going on that is making you feel suspicious of him.
The worst is if he tries to cover up whatever he’s doing by calling you crazy. That’s called gaslighting and it’s not okay. If you accuse him of cheating and, instead of coming clean, he calls you crazy, that’s not okay. He’s pushing you to question your own mental state, instead of just fessing up about his infidelity. That gets a big, fat NOPE.
3 You Had To Make An Emergency Visit To Your Doctor/Gyno
I’m sorry, but no one in a faithful, committed relationship randomly gets Chlamydia. It just doesn’t happen that way.
If you go to your gynecologist for an emergency visit or even for just a routine visit, and your doctor tells you that you have a sexual transmitted disease, your dude cheated. Plain and simple. How else would you get that STD? Don’t try to make up excuses for him in your head. Face the music, girlfriend. He cheated on you and gave you an STD, which is the worst of the worst. This dude needs to be cut out of your life and maybe you should break his windshield. I mean, I don’t want to tell you to break his personal belongings, but I also wouldn’t judge you for getting some Chlamydia revenge.
Also, this is the worst kind of dude. This means he wasn’t wearing protection while cheating on you. BOY BYE.
2 He's Cheated On Someone Before
There’s a certain part in Friends when Rachel tells Ross her mother said, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” I don’t want to flat-out say Rachel Green’s mother is a prophet, but PREACH, RACHEL’S MOM!
His history of cheating could happen in quite a few ways. If he cheated on you in the past, that’s obviously a horrible sign. Yes, some relationships can be salvaged after someone cheats. That’s great, but it's also a horrible lesson to the cheater. Basically, he's been told her can have his cake and eat it too, so what would stop him from cheating again?
It’s also a red flag if he’s cheated on someone else in a past relationship that you know about. Yes, we’re all young and dumb sometimes, but if you know he cheated on someone before, you may be his next victim.
Oh, there’s also the version of this in which you were the other woman and he ended a relationship to start one up with you. Girl, that is not the route to go down. He’ll always have other women and, once upon a time, you were one of them. Hard pass on this dude.
1 He Suddenly Started Putting More Effort Into His Appearance
You loving, sweet, perfect boyfriend is always attractive to you, but he probably lets himself go sometimes. Maybe his physique could use a few trips to the gym to tone it up. Maybe he dresses like a slob. Maybe he doesn’t keep up with his grooming. Whatever it may be, you know how dudes are. They don’t necessarily notice little things about their appearance all that much, especially if they're in a long-term committed relationship.
That said, if he suddenly starts putting A LOT of effort into the way he looks, it could be for someone who is not you. That’s right, if he’s steaming his shirts, only eating green things and waxing his eyebrows, it could be for the benefit of his side chick. A new girl could be a wake-up call about how he’s let himself go. You know, because he’s become lazy with you. Just how infuriating is that?
I mean, maybe he’s just taking better care of himself because he’s realized you’re a queen who deserves a king. But also, he could also be studding himself up for another chick.