Many of you believe that everyone on this Earth has one true soul mate. Whether that person is your lover, your bestie, or the one that got away and settled for good enough, finding your soul mate can be pretty special. Like a relationship meme, “one day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else” is a concept that many believe in. You need a reason or some sort of justification for the pain, for the heartbreak or for the slew of crappy boyfriends or girlfriends. Regardless of whether you believe in love at first sight or believe that love is a slow burning flame, it would be nice, wouldn’t it? To meet the person who will never make you feel bad about yourself; who removes all doubt that they will ever hurt you; that person you can sit around and laugh with or just sit around with not saying a word. Some say soul mates are overrated and others desperately cling to partners that clearly aren’t their soul mates but they are in love with the idea of having their own. Prepare your barf bags or your swooning doe eyes, whatever your style.
16 You’ve spent years together and you still enjoy it
This one is a little bit difficult to decipher early on in a relationship, but is certainly a good indicator of that guy, who you swear up and down is just a friend; who really might be a little bit more than that to you, at least deep down in your heart. Many relationships go through the honeymoon phase, where seeing them gives you butterflies and they can do no wrong. After a while, the flame flickers out and you either stick around because you love them, or because you’re afraid to leave, or maybe because you just don’t have any other options right now. Not cool, btw. If you have one of those friends who’s always there for you, and no matter how long you go without speaking, you just fall back into routine the second you see them. If you have that person who puts a smile on your face, even when they are being a complete idiot… that’s the person who could be your soul mate. Or that boyfriend you’ve had so long that you can’t even remember why you started dating, but you still love them hard and laugh constantly with them… those are the soul mates you should latch on to and never let go of.
15 Even when you’re angry, you want to be with him
Fights happen. Especially when you are involved in something a little bit more serious than a casual relationship, an activity partner or a friend with benefits. When you put your heart into something, the stakes automatically get higher. You fight for your independence in a relationship, you fight to be heard and you fight for what you believe in. Sometimes, you just like to nag and that’s okay too. Everyone makes mistakes. To err is human, right? There will be times in your life when you get fuming mad at the one you love. They may even make you see red. But in the moments of those fights, you still want nothing other than for him to call you, or sit with you, or cuddle you… even though part of you wants to punch him in the stomach and stomp on his toe. That guy is your soul mate. Because no matter how much you think you hate him in those moments, the thought of not having him in your life, standing by your side is unbearable and you would endure 1000 of those awful, crying fights just to spend more time with him.
14 You always know what they are thinking
You may have this with your partner now; or maybe you have it with your best friend, or a sibling. But it’s a special bond where you can literally read their mind. No fake magic or mind games here. You two are so connected that you exist on a wavelength separate from everyone else. They know what you want to watch on television, which of the three restaurants you want to go to the most after a long week, and they can probably finish a lot of your sentences for you. Your soul mate knows when you want to talk, when you want to be left alone, when you need a pick me up and when they should go for that goofy, but oh-so romantic kiss. You don’t even have to agree with what they are thinking or saying, the fact is that you know before they even open their mouths. This also makes you an excellent date to awkward family events when a simple eye contact moment has you faking an upset stomach, running to the bathroom and helping your partner GTFO of that awkward dinner party.
13 You still feel warm when you are intimate
Some say infatuation and attraction fades. Those butterflies you got the first time he kissed you will fade as you really get to know him. But what happens if they don’t?
If you feel real feelings when you’re with them… like Cascada said “every time we touch, I get this feeling; every time we kiss I swear I could fly” then you very well might be with your soul mate. Great sex is great sex, but having passion and connection takes everything to a whole new high. You can’t help but grin when he takes your hand, you get a head rush when his hand grazes your face, and a flood of sensation and goose bumps when he kisses your neck. Those are the partners that are meant to be with you. When the honeymoon phase never ends; it only gets better and you never stop wanting them; choosing them. When the physical chemistry between the two of you is so amazing and out of this world, and then it never fades, that’s your soul mate.
12 Reality is better than a dream with him
When you were a little girl, you used to watch Disney movies, like most. And you always found yourself drawn to the storylines with princesses and true love’s kiss, and all that jazz. And you dreamed of one day finding someone you love so very much that you would never stray from them; who would never make you question their motives and who would treat you like a princess every day of your life. While living the single, or semi-single life, you had many dreams, or fantasies, if you will, about this person, who you may have never met. But now you’ve found this person you want to spend time with; contrary to popular belief that he “makes you” spend your free time with him; you just want to. It has been said that true love is when you don’t want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream. Though this arguably isn’t exclusively true love, it is a sign that you’ve found your soul mate.
11 Your intuition tells you so
Trust your gut, they say. "They" mostly being your parents, friends and teachers from the time you turned 14 right up until you made yet another bad life decision and quit your job. Your intuition is an important judge of character. Though it might be confusing to know what you are feeling for this person in your life, one thing is for sure: if something feels off, it probably is. The amount of time cheating or infidelity is suspected because someone had a gut feeling, and it was correct, is enormous. If you are in a relationship with someone and you aren’t sure what the future holds, you probably aren’t with your soul mate. On the flip side, if you wake up each day and think about this person, and can’t picture your life five years down the road without him standing there next to you, then your intuition is telling you that you found your soul mate.
10 It’s high stakes
There will be relationships that you are in throughout your life that you just don’t care about. Maybe you wanted the dating experience or wanted to give someone a chance that you just weren’t sure about. These relationships help shape you into the person you are now and have taught you an important lesson about what you like and very likely, what you don’t like in a relationship (or a partner). But when you are in love; or with your soul mate, the stakes have never been higher. You love hard, you make love hard and you fight hard. You say I love you more times than you can count and it’s never enough; you have amazing sex and physical chemistry and you never find yourself not wanting to be with him; and the fights are huge. You want things to be perfect, and the truth is, they never will be. Perfection is overrated but you fight for what you want, which is your relationship, and that means that you want to also fight for the things that are near and dear to you, that may not be the same to him. That’s not to say that you do all three of these things ALL THE TIME but when you do, you don’t do anything half way.
9 You can’t think of life without them
Forget intuition. Forget logic. And forget the current state of your relationship with him. Do you love him? Probably. Does he fit nicely into your life? Yes. Do your family and friends absolutely adore him to the point where you frequently question whether they like him better than you? Maybe. Now think about the future. Are you where you want to be in your career? How about travel? Life? Have you had real life conversations with him about where you’ll live? Marriage or kids? Religion or ethical debates? Is this the person who you can tell anything to that won’t judge you or tell you that you’re crazy, even when you are? If you close your eyes and think of your life in five years; if you fantasize about your white picket fence and two kids and a dog, is he standing there next to you? If he is, and you can’t possibly sub a different face or a different person into that romantic equation, then it’s pretty safe to say that he’s your one and only. Your soul mate. Your life partner. Well, provided he feels the same way.
8 You make eye contact
What color are his eyes? It’s expected that you know the answer to that question. He’s your boyfriend, why wouldn’t you? Now think about how much time you really spend staring into his beautiful blue-green eyes. Studies say that couples that make a lot of eye contact, whether that be in everyday conversation, or during particular physical activities have a deeper physical and emotional connection, than couples who do not. That’s not even including the fact that when you’re out with your friends, neither of you can keep your eyes off each other. Making a lot of eye contact, especially when having conversation, is not only polite but it’s an indicator that you are deeply listening and that you care what they are saying. And if you do deeply care and are listening, then it’ll be almost instinctual that you will not tear your eyes away from every word that they say. It might seem silly to say but if you look into his eyes and can see his soul, or vice versa, you’re probably staring at your soul mate’s soul.
7 Your parents/friends tell you so
Most would agree that your friends and family know you better than everyone else in your life. They are the ones you grew up with, the ones you choose to spend your free time with, and the ones you trust with your deepest secrets and funny stories. They will usually tell you if they don’t like your boyfriend. While a parent might just tell you you’re too good for him or that they don’t think he treats you right, your friends will go all reserve psychology on you until you believe yourself that he’s a jerk. However, they are also the people that see you at your best and worst. They can see the relationship the two of you have and see that you are like planets slowly orbiting around each other and they will absolutely tell you that you’re with your penguin. (Fun fact: Penguins mate for life and only ever have one partner. And they score their partner by bringing them a pretty, colourful pebble.) They may not use the word soul mate, because sadly, in pop culture and modern dating, the word is so overused, it’s lost some of its meaning. But they will definitely hint at helping you plan your wedding when they know.
6 They make you worry more on average
Finding your soul mate can make even the most relaxed person turn into a big, fat worrywart. But not the trust issues of is he or isn’t he cheating on me or is he doing bad things at night that I don’t know about? What it can do to you though is make you care and become even more concerned for their well-being and safety. You constantly find yourself asking if they are hungry or cold, or you want to make sure they are having fun out at the bar with your friends, even though you know they would tell you if they weren’t. You insist that they text you as soon as they get home after your amazing night out together, assuming you didn’t go home together, even though they only live six doors away. They say love can make you crazy, and this is especially true about your soul mate. They make you worry, not because there is any doubt that they are yours, but that you can’t bear the thought of something happening to them and not having them around anymore. Their happiness is your priority and yours is theirs.
5 They make everything fun for you
Working about a 9-5 and being super adult-y can sometimes be a drag. There is always time for fun, especially when you make time for fun, but then there are responsibilities that the two of you will have that won’t be the greatest picnic in the world. But that’s okay. Your soul mate will know how to make everything fun, from a trip to the library, to a communion or fishing with his grandfather. Even when you have to go to a work function, where fun is basically prohibited, you will still have fun when you are with them. Your inside jokes, your secret games and your read-each-other’s-mind mentality brings more joy to your life in general. The guy who can make you crack a small smile, even at your favorite grandfather’s funeral is the soul mate you’ve been looking for. Fun is something that is often overlooked and not given enough of a priority in a relationship but couples that laugh and play together, stay together.
4 You communicate like champs
Ask any seasoned couple, or frankly anyone who thinks they know anything about relationships, and they will tell you that the single most important thing in a relationship is communication (and probably honesty). Yet many couples fall into the cycle of fighting all of the time due to their complete inability to effectively communicate. Blame it on this being the technological age of the smart phone, the fact that no one talks on the phone anymore (but rather messages), or just that people don’t really take the time to get to know someone one-on-one through conversation anymore. One thing is clear: the best communicators have the best, most meaningful relationships. If you can talk to your partner about anything, good or bad, any time or any place, you have probably found your soul mate. Bet you feel even better after you talk to them, too. Your soul mate is the person who will always understand you, and who takes the time to ask instead of jumping to awkward conclusions and snapping at you because you say something that sounds a bit off.
3 You laugh together
Most women would agree that one of the traits they value in a potential partner is humor. And this desirable trait doesn’t come from nowhere. It comes from the fact that laughing helps you live longer, and that laughing generally makes you a happier person. Laughter can be disarming. It can take an awkward, terrible moment and make it more bearable or it can make a funny moment a thousand times more memorable. Now you might be with someone that makes you laugh sometimes, but you would hardly call him a comedian. That’s entirely fine. However, couples that laugh together, tend to fight less and stay happy longer. When you laugh with your soul mate, nothing can stop you. You don’t always find the same things funny, but you definitely share some humor; when one of you laughs, it makes the other party so unbelievably happy that it causes eruption of laughter from both parties. Laughing is contagious but nothing is more contagious than laughing with your soul mate.
2 You feel weird calling them your soul mate
As already mentioned, the word soul mate sounds a bit cliché doesn’t it? Even words like husband, life partner, penguin, lover, etc don’t quite fit the bill of who you are. You know it’s true, and he is your soul mate, but it sounds so awful and meaningless that you don’t want to give it the title. Instead you talk about your life plans together, what you want to do for your vacation next year or what you are going to name your children, all while avoiding silly names. When you know, you know and no title is going to change that for either of you. In fact, when people point it out to you, you immediately deny the use of the word and instead proceed to explain to them why they are right, all while avoiding the title. True soul mates don’t need to justify it to anyone. They know deep in their heart or hearts that they are the only person for the other one and no one is going to change their mind.
1 The timing is perfect
They say that timing is everything and the same can be said about discovering your soul mate in a relationship. Your train was late and you accidentally bumped into them. Your blind date didn’t show up and as you were leaving the bar, you stumbled into this handsome stranger. Or you got out of a bad relationship at the right time, just in time to meet them for coffee a few weeks later. A sad relationship quote reads “sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time” and it leads to many great relationships coming to an undesirable end. But if they were your soul mate you would be destined to be together, meaning you would either overcome all odds or you just wouldn’t have met them until you were truly ready to be with them. Your soul mate is the partner you are with that doesn’t necessarily get stuck on any of the details, but can recall at a moment’s notice your first date, where you met, what you were both wearing and what you discussed. The timing was so perfect that you are currently trying to find a way to work the conversation into your wedding vows.