Have you ever fallen for a close guy friend? It always turns into a complicated situation. One day, he’s just a guy you happen to hang out with, and the next day, you’re getting butterflies in your stomach every time you look at him. It can be so frustrating—you never intended for things to go like this. In fact, you probably told everyone who asked that you guys were just friends!
When you realize that these feelings aren’t going away, you have a couple options, and none of them are pleasant. You can either hide your true emotions forever and just hope that eventually, your little crush will pass and it won’t be a big deal. You can open up to your friends for some advice and risk him finding out. Or you can tell him the truth about how you really feel, and risk getting rejected by one of your closest friends. Ouch! The decision isn’t easy, but you’ve got to do something right?
We’ll make it a little easier for you. There are a few key signs that he isn’t interested in being your boyfriend. Here are 16 signs that he cares about, but he’s not in love with you.
16 He Says You’re “Like A Sister” To Him.
If you’ve ever told a guy that he was like a brother to you, you know exactly what a guy really means when he says, “You’re like a sister to me.” This is totally guy code for “You’re great and all, but I’m not going to ask you out.” If you’re not interested in him, either, this will sound like a sweet compliment, but if you do have romantic feelings for him, it can feel like an insult. But truthfully, if a guy does tell you this, it’s best to back off and not try to flirt with him or show any signs that you have romantic feelings towards him. He’s clearly letting you know that he does not want to date you, so it’s best to let it go.
15 You Usually Hang Out In Groups.
If a guy friend wants to spend a lot of time alone with you, it could be a sign that he’s looking for something more than friendship. But what if every time you invite him to hang out, he insists on bring someone else along or encourages you to invite your friends? It’s because he isn’t trying to hit on you or turn your relationship into anything more than a friendship. In fact, if he is always doing this, he probably knows that you’re into him, and he wants to have other people around so that things don’t get awkward! If the two of you only ever hang out in group settings, it’s highly unlikely that he has any feelings for you beyond wanting to be your friend.
14 He Still Talks About His Ex All The Time.
Okay, this is a serious sign that he is not interested in you romantically. In fact, it’s a sign that he is not interested in anyone besides his ex—it’s so hard to get over the one who got away. Maybe you even have an ex that you struggled to get over and can relate to this feeling. Anyway, if this guy friend of yours is constantly bringing up his ex, or even staying in touch with her on a regular basis, he is definitely not over her. In all honesty, he is probably trying to win her back, and he opens up to you about it because he just sees you as a friend. In this scenario, don’t even think about flirting with him—you’ll just end up heartbroken.
13 He Has Expressed Interest In One Of Your Friends.
This is one of the biggest telltale signs that he isn’t interested in you. We know that when something like this happens, you’ll probably feel crushed. You two were getting so close, you got along so well, you wondered if maybe there was a chance that you could take your friendship to the next level...and then he asks if one of your friends is single. It’s the worst. There’s no avoiding that. It happens to every girl at some point in her life—it’s practically a rite of passage. If this happens, it’s okay to put a little distance in between yourself and this guy. You will be better off because it will probably help you get over those lingering feelings that you have for him.
12 He Says That He Does Not Want A Relationship.
He couldn’t make his opinion any more obvious! When a guy says that he is not ready for a relationship, believe him. He is telling the truth. He’s probably saying this because he has a lot of things going on in his personal life that he needs to work on before he can date someone and treat them right. Or, he simply knows that he would rather play the field than settle down for the time being. It might be disappointing, but hey, at least he’s being honest! If he tells you that he is not currently interested in a relationship, don’t try to force the issue. He probably still cares about you very much—he’s just not ready to date anyone at the moment.
11 He Wants A Completely Different Lifestyle Than You Do.
Let’s say that you envision yourself settling down in a cute small town, raising a family, and maybe even being a stay at home mom for a couple years. Now, let’s say that this guy friend of yours wants to travel the world, start his own business, and has no desire to have kids. Or maybe the roles are reversed! Maybe you’re an extremely ambitious woman who has never seen herself becoming a mom, while he wants nothing more than to be a dad someday. If this is the case, you two may care about each other very much as friends, but you are definitely not meant to be in a relationship. You are going down totally different paths that just will not be crossing.
10 He Doesn’t Get Jealous If You Flirt With Other Guys.
If you’ve ever hit on another guy in front of him, and he didn’t even seem to notice, he’s definitely not interested. Here’s the thing—if a guy is into you and sees you showing interest in another guy, he will probably say something. At the very least, he’ll seem a bit upset, and you might have the pry the truth about his feelings out of him—but he will confess to what he really feels for you. Now, if you flirt with another guy while he’s around, and he never even bats an eye, let alone mention it to you...well, we’re sorry to disappoint you, but he’s just not that into you. If he was, he would probably get a little jealous first and then tell you how he felt.
9 You Have One Or Two Major Incompatibilities.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you disagree on everything—just a couple important things. It’s important to keep in mind that even the closest couples out there can have some big disagreements from time to time, but we’re not talking about individual fights. We’re talking about incompatible values. For example, let’s say that you really care about saving money. You’re very frugal and always stick to a budget. You understand your finances inside and out. And let’s say that this guy friend spends money like it’s going out of style. He never bothers to save or even set a budget. And because of this, he’s always running into financial trouble. Odds are, you wouldn’t be falling in love and living happily ever after—you would have too many conflicts.
8 He Doesn’t Make An Effort To Introduce You To His Family.
If you’re good friends with a guy and he’s starting to feel something more for you, he will almost certainly make an effort to introduce you to his family. On the other hand, if he is not interested in anything more than friendship, he won’t. It’s really that simple. See, if he’s thinking of asking you out and cares about his family’s opinion of you, he will try to bring you around his house a few times before doing so. You know, just to test the waters. But if he just wants to stay friends? Well, you might run into his parents or siblings eventually if you hang out with him often enough, but it won’t be on purpose. Trust us, if he’s really into you, he’ll want you to meet his family.
7 He Sometimes Ignores Your Texts And Calls.
If a guy is into you, he WILL text you back. And yes, he’ll do it quickly. Why wouldn’t he? Now, on the other hand, if a guy is not interested in you romantically, he will not make an effort to get back to you so fast. It’s not because he’s being rude—he just doesn’t see it as a priority. We know that this may sound a little harsh, but if you were in his position, you would probably act the same way! Think about it: if a guy you have a huge crush on texts you, you may hold yourself back for a couple minutes so that you don’t freak him out, but you’ll want to text him right away, right? If a guy you’re just friends with texts you, you won’t have the same reaction.
6 He Still Hides Some Parts Of His Life From You.
If a guy wants you to be his girlfriend rather than just his friend, he will tell you things that he has not told anyone else before. Remember, guys are often told to keep their emotions keep inside rather than express how they really feel and allow themselves to be vulnerable. It can be very difficult for them to ignore that expectation from society and let a girl in on all their fears and doubts. So unless he is truly invested in you and wants things to get serious, there is no way he is going to make that leap. He will continue to hide certain parts of his life from you. It’s not because he doesn’t trust you—he just doesn’t see you as girlfriend material.
5 He Never Tries To Impress You.
Look, if a guy likes you, he’ll try to show off around you in some way. He won’t be able to help it—it’s only natural that he’ll want to stand out and want you to think highly of him, right? Of course. Now, if he never really tries to go the extra mile for you, we’re sorry to say it, but it means he’s simply not interested. Guys tend to make it fairly obvious when they’re into you—if you know the signs to look for, anyway. And making attempts to impress you is a sure sign that he wants to take things a step further. If he’s not doing that? Well, you might be better off meeting some other guys if you’re looking for a relationship.
4 He Doesn’t Consider You In His Future Plans.
When a guy wants to be with you, he won’t make plans for the future without thinking about where you would fit into them. Let’s say that he’s thinking of moving across the country for a job. When he tells you about his potential plans, he’ll probably start talking about how much he’ll miss you, how you should totally consider taking a trip out to see him, how he’ll try to call you once a week and still text you all the time. You know, that kind of thing. But if he’s not that into you, he won’t discuss your part in his future plans in that way. Rest assured that if he really likes you, he won’t forget about you when he’s making moves towards his future goals.
3 You Always Have To Be The One To Contact Him First.
If you always have to be the one to text first, call first, make plans first...it’s past time to move on because he is just not interested in you. Look, if a guy sees you as more than a friend, he will always go the extra mile to spend time with you. He will not leave you hanging and wondering about the next time you’ll see him. Nope, not a chance. When you find yourself always sending the “Hey, what’s up?” text and never being the first to get the “Wanna hang out?” text, it’s time to set your sights on a new guy. It’s a clear sign that while he might be fun to spend time with, he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.
2 He Doesn’t Show You His Sensitive Side.
When a guy really wants to be with you, he will show you a side that he does not show everyone else. Deep down, every guy does have a sensitive side, but he will only reveal this side of his personality to you if he wants to take your relationship to the next level. If not, well, don’t expect that kind of treatment. Guys will find it difficult to open up like that to a girl who they only see as a friend. If you’re crushing on one of your guy friends, but you notice that he still won’t show you his sensitive side, just know that it is a probably a sign that he does not feel the same way, and you would be better off looking for a new man.
1 You’ve Been Friends For Years With No Hint Of Romance.
So, let’s say that you’ve been friends with this particular guy for quite a while now. Maybe you’ve ever been friends for years and years. You’ve been through a lot together, you know each other very well, you always have a good time when you hang out, and lately, you’ve been seeing something in him that you just didn’t before. You realize that your feelings are slowly becoming a full-blown crush, and it’s impossible to hide it. But if you’ve been friends for that long, and he has never expressed any sort of interest in you beyond friendship, chances are that his feelings towards you are not going to change anytime soon. He probably cares about you very much, but he’s not falling head over heels in love with you.