16 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Trying To Get Him To Chase You

in Dating
16 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Trying To Get Him To Chase You

You’re crushing on a new co-worker or friend of a friend; how do you get him to chase you? Okay, scratch that. Maybe the better question is why does he have to chase you? Better yet, is chasing even necessary anymore? Whatever happened to your crush telling you flat out they like you and then seeing where it goes?

Frankly, I don’t think there was ever a time like that, but we are way past coy games. Games are just the worst. They don’t always work in your favor, and things can get really messy really quick. Guys drive us crazy sometimes, but maybe the problem is that we let them. I believe in a modern world where you bite the bullet and tell someone you like them. And if they don’t happen to like you back, you cut your losses and move on to your next crush.

Eventually, someone’s bound to say yes to you, right? Well, so long as you’re genuine and not sleazy, the chances are pretty high. Do you really want to waste your time crushing on someone that isn’t ready, or maybe just doesn’t feel the same way as you do? Your answer should be no. If your answer was yes…then you were probably just being sarcastic. That, or you’re just drawn into the drama. Either way, time is something you never get back so, use it wisely with a guy.

16. Focus On Yourself & Prioritize Your Own Agenda, Not His

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Forget the guy and kick it with your girls instead. All of this worrying about a simple guy is ridiculous, and frankly, you could probably do better. It’s just a crush, and it will pass. You can count on your girls to distract you in all of the right ways and help you get back on track to self-love.

When you start to focus on yourself, you will see the world around you change. Doors are opening for you, and suddenly your happiness has become irresistible as well as noticeable to other. It’s totally his loss, he could have paid attention to you and shared your optimism. Instead, chose to ignore you, and you’ve moved on to way bigger and better things than his single-minded attention.

15. You Never Want To Blow Your Cool And Make It Seem Like You’re Desperate

If he’s not chasing you, then why don’t you just chase him? There is a thin line between interest and desperation, and you don’t want to cross it in this situation. This may seem totally foreign because we often expect the guy to take the brunt of asking a girl out, but it’s cool for girls to ask guys out as well.

However, just remember that no means no. If he’s not going for it, then you have your answer right there. He’s not feeling it so you need to move on to someone who is actually interested in you. It may be easier said than done, but you can’t push someone into liking you. In fact, if you even try this it will have the opposite effect.

14. It Might Be A Sign You’ve Mistaken His Sensuality

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You have great conversation and you totally sense him flirting with you. Does that mean he likes you? Unfortunately, this is quite a difficult question to answer. Some guys are simply flirty with everyone. If you are getting the sense that he is like this with all of the girls, then you may want to think again.

You can easily confuse people’s actions and words. The only way to know for sure is to ask this person upfront, are they flirting with you because they like you? Yeah, this could lead to an embarrassing moment, not going to lie about that. But isn’t it better than wasting months thinking that this person likes you and playing an array of endless mind games that could possibly turn you crazy? It is.

13. The Right Guy For You Will Be Chasing You Already

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You have been so wrapped up and worried about this new guy that you’re totally digging that you’ve ignored all other guys. You have been focusing on getting this one guy to chase you, and you already have another willing to give you everything you need—especially attention.

Actually, this happens way more often than you think. We’re always chasing people that pay us no mind. It’s because we’re focused on getting the attention from the impossible We forget about everyone else. Well, he’s out there, and why not forget the guy who doesn’t give you the time of day for the guy that makes you his day? That just seems crazy to me. Who knows, give him a shot and you may actually like him.

12. His Lack Of Game Might Be A Sign He’s Insecure

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Did you ever think that maybe this guy just doesn’t have game? Hey, it happens to the best of us. As a fellow awkward person, I can tell you that there’s a good chance that he actually thinks that he is chasing you, even if you don’t feel it. Or he could just be way too insecure to actually commit to making a move on you.

Either way, you will need to help this guy and lend him a hand in the ‘chasing’ department. Poor guy is probably totally clueless about what is going on unless you are direct with him. You may need to be the ‘man’ and take the lead on this one. As long as you don’t mind having to take the mystery out of his chase, you’ll be fine.

11. It Might Be A Sign He’s Already Taken

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The shade is real ladies, and many times when a guy isn’t around his girlfriend he will act single. More often than not, if he isn’t giving you his number and is clearly into you, then he probably has a girlfriend. Props to him for not cheating, but also, he sucks for not being upfront about this and still trying to have his cake while eating it too.

Trust me, this guy isn’t even worth it. However, you should respect the relationship. Have you heard of a little thing called karma? She can be catty, but only if you are too. If you find it that he’s taken, even if he still first with you, don’t even pay him any mind. He’s like a fly, he’ll eventually go away.

10. An Experienced Guy Will Know How To Properly Pursue A Lady

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Sometimes in life, you meet a rare breed of an experienced man. No, this isn’t the idiot that babbles on and on about his latest conquests just to show off, but he probably spent the weekend alone in his mom’s basement—as he deserves. The experienced man knows just how and when to woo you. And the ‘when’ of it all is a focal point in his plan.
Man, when this guy comes along you just know everything will line up perfectly before he sweeps you off of your feet. However, you will need to wait your turn. Like I was saying, timing can be everything to this guy, so you have to be patient for his chase to begin. It will happen eventually, and when it does it will be worth the wait.

9. If It’s Not Him, Someone Else Is Definitely Willing To Give You Attention

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Okay, so, the guy you like isn’t chasing you, now what? Well, did you ever think of moving on to someone more available? Maybe there’s a nice guy right under your nose who would love to ask you out. The truth is that it’s not hard to find a guy who likes you, hello, you’re fabulous!

Why yearn for some guy who just isn’t getting it? You’ve told him your available, and now the ball is in his court. Well, if he isn’t willing to make a move then it may be best to cut your losses and move on. There’s a good chance that there’s someone else who is crushing on you. Why not give it a try with him instead? You have nothing to lose.

8. Your Time Is Worth More Than Just Running After A Guy

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Boys, boys, boys; can’t live with them; can’t live without them. Am I right? I know I am. Let’s keep it real, we spend so much of our time focusing on guys that we totally forget other things in our lives like work and friends. I said it before and I’ll say it again: your time is precious. Why should you have to be the one that wastes their time wondering whether a guy likes you or not?

I’m sure you have so many other things that you should be worrying about. So, tackle your to-do list. Your time is just as valuable as his. Plus, he may notice that you’ve gone missing in action and could do the chasing that you’ve been seeking all this time.

7. For Shy Men, He’ll Appreciate If You Just Made The First Move

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Hey, you’re not the only wallflower here. Guys are shy too. In fact, I’m sure most of them are so scared of pursuing women, but most are good at hiding it and pretending to be confident. Then there are those who aren’t. They exist among as disguised as perfectly adorable guys.

In this case, you should be the one to make the first move, otherwise, you may just be waiting a very, very long time for him to do so. It’s not that he doesn’t want to make a move on you, it’s just that he’s probably crippled by his anxiety every chance he gets. Perhaps he really wants to, but he just can’t get his head to shut up long enough to do it. It’s totally cool if you give it a shot.

6. Flirting With Multiple People Is Better Than Focusing Just On Him

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You may have your sights set on one guy, but what the problem with flirting with a few guys. Just flirting. Flirting can be innocent, plus it gives you a chance to work on your flirting skills, and perfect them so that when the right guy does chase you, you are totally ready for him.

Plus, it’s so much fun! The rush you get from flirting with one person multiplied is almost too much to handle. I love flirting, it makes me realize that I’ve still got it going on, and so do you. Forget about this one guy, if he starts chasing you, then great. But if he doesn’t, then you’ve lost nothing and worked on your flirting game for the next guy who will definitely appreciate it.

5. You Should Never Settle For His Bad Behavior Or Vibes

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If no one has told you this yet, then shame on them. But girl…you are the best! You definitely don’t need a man. You are a strong independent woman who doesn’t need some simple dude to pay you any mind. Forget vying for his attention. You can pay attention to yourself and change your own life for the better.

If he is giving you mixed signals, forget him. Playing games is for children, and you are better than that. Of course, maybe you enjoy and good psychological game here and there, but in the end, it’s just not healthy, and it doesn’t benefit you at all. His vibes may be skewed, but that is his problem, not yours. And don’t let him make you feel like you have to put up with—ever.

4. He Might Be Playing The Field (aka He’s A Player)

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If he’s not giving the attention you need and deserve, there’s a good chance this player is wasting his time on someone else. In this case, keep in mind that you don’t need him and his torturous games. There are plenty of fish in the sea that want to give you the time of day.
Guys can be good at splitting their time, but they tend to spread themselves too thin at times. This is when you should tell him to cut it out. He can either give you all of his attention, or none of it. You shouldn’t have to compete with other women for his benefit. It’s just simply unfair, and in the end, he’s the only one that wins. You’re amazing, and you deserve to win as well.

3. Give Only As Much As He’s Willing To Give You

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There are people out there who just take, and take, then offer to give you nothing in return. This person is selfish and narcissistic and doesn’t deserve any attention from you. In order to protect your heart, you should always give as much to a guy as he’s willing to give to you.

After all, I think the Beatles said it best: “In the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take”. If you’ve expressed interest in a guy and he’s just giving you nothing to work with then you’ve done your part. It’s his turn to show you that he likes you. If he isn’t willing to give you what you need I promise that you can easily find someone out there who is.

2. You’re A Confident Women Who Never Needs A Man To Validate Her

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We will repeat this as much as we have to: you are an incredible woman, and you most definitely do not need a man! In fact, you never have needed him, and you never will. Men are nice partners to have in life, but all you truly need in life is yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the longest, most important relationship that you will ever have.

A guy will never appreciate you if you don’t first learn how to appreciate yourself. It may be hard to learn to love yourself entirely at first, but it is the best thing that you can and will ever do. It is an everyday practice, and some days will be easier than others, but soon enough you will learn just how self-reliant you can be.

1. It Might Be A Sign He’s Just Not That Into You

If he’s showing absolutely no interest in you, it may be because he has no interest in you. I know, it’s a harsh revelation, but I’m doing this for your benefit, and to prevent you from wasting your precious time. And trust me, your time is precious. You really should spend it being as happy as you possibly can be.

Please don’t pull a Tina and throw yourself at Jimmy Jr any and every chance you get only to be shot down again and again. Yay to Tina for her perseverance, but this can lead to him feeling totally suffocated by you. Like I noted earlier, there’s a good chance that someone is crushing on you as well. Give them a chance rather than let this guy waste his.

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