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16 Pictures Of People Who Failed On The First Date

Pretty much everyone on this planet has felt incredibly nervous about messing something up when getting ready for a first date, but if any hiccups happen, they usually tend to be minor things such as having lipstick smearing their teeth or accidentally swallowing a drink down the wrong pipe because of the feeling of being flustered.

All of which happens and is usually easily overlooked by the other person because being too nitpicky is a good way to stay single for life.

Then of course, there are the people that are either so socially incompetent, incredibly narcissistic and awkward AF that they crash and burn so hard they constantly never even get a chance to make it to the second date—take the walking hot messes featured below!

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16 Talk About Having A Third Wheel

Via: InTouch Weekly

No one likes having a third wheel when trying to get to know someone on the first few dates, but poor Jessa Duggar couldn’t even have a peaceful session of playing golf with her significant other Ben Seewald without her parents keeping a watchful eye on her. What they thought was going to happen, who knows—maybe evil demons would make them smooch in front of gasp—strangers!

To make things even more facepalm-worthy, the Dugger parents verbally eviscerated poor Ben right in front of their daughter, which explains why her expression practically screams “Get me the hell outta here!”

15 Learning The Art Of Mansplaining Starts Young These Days

Via: Imgur

Pretty much every woman has met a dude that lives to mansplain without letting his date get a word in edgewise or is constantly dismissive of her opinions, but this photo proves that toxic masculinity is learned from a very early age.

Given the look on the little girl’s face, she’s probably trying to talk herself out of throttling the arrogant fool.

14 Fortnite Will Never Betray You

Via: Cheezburger

Is this a new form of yoga for disgruntled girlfriends that want to find a way to get some revenge on their significant others that are absorbed in video games that they ignore their partner?

If so, then it’s not doing a blessed thing to change this dude—he’s still got his eyes glued to the screen even with the GF sitting on his shoulders. Time to dump this guy and move on!

13 Dionysus Would Be So Upset At Them

Via: Instagram

Listen closely—do you hear that? That is the voice of Dionysus, the ancient god of wine screeching his head off at this couple wasting perfectly good alcoholic drinks.

What was in that jug of beer, some sort of fizzy bomb? Or was this chick so klutzy that she managed to make a fool out of herself AND ensure that she wouldn’t make it to date number two?

12 Someone Tell This Dude To STFU And Let His Date Get A Word In Edgewise

Via: Instagram

The poor dude in the blue shirt’s body posture pretty much screams “This guy won’t shut up about himself, how much longer do I have before I can make my escape and go the hell home?”

Hasn’t this dude ever heard the saying that no one likes a braggart? Then again, he looks so narcissistic that every other patron seems to have left so they wouldn’t have to deal with his loud mouth and he clearly didn’t notice, so it’s safe to say that quote would fly over his head like a bird.

11 Time For The Brain Bleach

Via: Imgur

People getting touchy-feely on dates is one thing, but literally shoving a hand down your poor date’s butt is crossing a huge line, my dude. What the hell was he doing, digging for gold?

That poor bartender, he’s clearly trying to look away from this weirdo so that he doesn’t wind up dry-heaving in disgust on the job.

10 Blind Date Turned Road Rage Incident

Via: Imgur

Let’s face it, sometimes blind dates tend to fail miserably and from the looks of it, this date turned into a road rage incident on the sidewalk. The tension between these two dudes is so thick that it’s hard to tell if they’re going to kiss or start crashing into each other, bumper cars style.

Hopefully, it’s the former, trying to have a bumper car style battle royale would likely lead to a bunch of pedestrians getting bumped into.

9  His Date Is Starting To Regret Saying Yes

Via: Reddit

Nothing is more rage-inducing when someone is so obsessed with their phone that they refuse to put it away and y’know, ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW THEIR DATE. This poor woman is either going to cut it short and walk away in disgust or she’s going to toss the phone onto the floor so hard that it shatters into a million pieces.

Personally, it would be much more amusing for the fellow patrons if she made the latter choice. Sure, her date would be pissed but it would definitely garner a few laughs from the crowd.

8 She's Just Not That Into You

Via: Instagram

This guy obviously isn’t a good kisser because the poor woman looks as if she is snogging with Oscar the Grouch. He may think he’s Don Juan, but he’s more of a Napolean Dynamite when it comes to kissing with the ladies.

Heck, the dude isn’t even kissing her on the lips—he’s licking her cheek like a dog. No thanks—if this woman wanted someone to do that, she’d just go out and get an adorable puppy with better manners than this guy.

7 Oui Oui, Tis Time To Stuff Bread Down Each Other's Throats

Via: Instagram

Everyone knows that carbs are life, but force-feeding someone a huge loaf of bread on a picnic is not the best way to be a) romantic and b) make a good impression.

The side eye this poor woman is giving the guy is absolutely glorious; she looks as if she’s plotting how she can shove the loaf of bread down his throat and run away from this freak show.

6 BYOB To The Cheap Takeout Place

Via: Imgur

There are plenty of hilarious stories on the Internet about a date being a total cheapskate, but this dude is clearly the King of the Cheapskates. He looks so proud of himself for being a total Don Juan and oh-so-romantic by doing a BYOB to some takeout place.

On the other hand, it’s easy to tell that the woman’s smile is frozen on and she’s ready to make a break for it at the first opportunity so she can go home and complain about this hot mess online.

5 Perfect Sign She's Not That Into You

Via: Imgur

The older folks have always loved to complain about the younger folks being a wee bit narcissistic because of their fancy-schmancy tech gadgets. This is usually false, but in this case, all their ranting was right on the money for this chick.

In the wise words of TAPS from Syfy’s Ghost HuntersDUDE, RUN! She’s clearly more in love with her phone and her online persona to pay any attention to you and no one wants to date a self-absorbed weirdo like that.

4 That Awkward Moment When You Appear On A Vlog For The First Date

Via: Pinterest

Talk about a deer in the headlights! This guy is clearly trying to come up with plans to bow out of this mess before he makes a fool out of himself live on social media.

If this chick is trying to make this a test to weed the “bad apples” out, then she’s failing miserably and is likely to wind up giving someone a panic attack.

3 Someone's Super Competitive At Putt-Putt

Via: Reddit

What a judgmental kind of guy—he is staring daggers at his date, probably because the dude is a better player at miniature golf than he is. Relax bro, it’s a date, not a bloody competition.

If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure the guy with the tattoos would be six feet under right about now!

2 People With Terrible Taste In Fashion Think Alike

Via: Imgur

It is often said that great minds think alike, but this picture proves that tacky people everywhere have similar taste in clothes too. At least with their dates, their shirts aren’t exactly alike since one guy’s wearing a t-shirt and the other one has long sleeves.

The women though….yeesh! Who looked at that piece of trash in the form of a shirt and thought “Ah yes, this will surely impress a guy?” They should have burned it instead!

1 Time To Bond Over Being Blackout Drunk And Hungover Tomorrow

Via: Instagram

How romantic—cuddling in a pile of vomit with a passed-out hookup as a pillow. They must have consumed an alarming amount of alcohol if neither of them woke up thanks to the stench of her vomit. What a wonderful way to end a first date!

The flies on the wall must have been entertained when these two woke up and started gagging at the smell.

Sources: Imgur, InTouch Weekly

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