16 Photos That Prove Florida Is America’s Basement

in Cringeworthy
16 Photos That Prove Florida Is America’s Basement

There are thing we associate with every state. Things we define the state by, For Texas it’s cowboys. California has hippies. And in Wyoming there are a lot of hunters. What do you associate with Florida when you think about the gorgeous sunshine state? Crazy headlines about a man eating another mans face? There must be something about the tropical heat down there in Florida that just makes people a bit whackier than they are in the rest of America because most of us associate Florida with being kind of weird. Wonderful at times, but mostly weird and a lot trashy. Thankfully Florida is extremely entertaining in its trashiness for the rest of us. Even though most of us would never do most of the stuff featured here today, we  are happy that others have so that we can look at pictures. Everyone enjoys judging!

And affectionately enough, Florida is referred to as America’s basement, or even toilet sometimes. And aside from people that live inside of Florida that do things that make these nicknames seem more true than not, lets not forget that Florida is literally the southernmost state so it kind of is America’s basement whether people like it or not. And like a lot of basements it is humid and kind of gross, and could use a good clean up. A lot of stuff thats shoved down there that ends up just piling up and becoming more trash. Oh, and there are lots of scary bugs. People love Florida because of and in spite of all its quirks though, and all of this stuff just adds to the states personality.

16. Another Day In Florida, Another Alligator Court Case

We gathered all of these pictures because we wanted to display a Florida brand of trashy. But we aren’t so sure this lady is trashy. This is more like awesome! But this does have that Floridian weird trademark so it made the list! While other states have alligators as well, it is a huge symbol for Florida and most people always associate the two together. We know this lady is far from the first person in Florida to have an alligator as a pet, but she could be the first to actually have it wear clothes and have it’s own little ATV. And let’s be real, this was bound to happen in Florida eventually. And why shouldn’t the alligator be allowed to wear clothes! Let it be the fabulous reptile it wants.

15. Floridian Dating Advice

Everyone has their own piece of dating advice or relationship advice that they want to impart. And a lot of it usually runs along the same lines. Treat the person of your affection with respect, make it clear that they mean something to you and are important to you. but don’t come on too strong. And than there is a more basic kind of advice, that someone obviously felt is so important they need to impart it on as many people as possible. And everyone knows if you have a message to deliver to the public the best way to do it is to plaster it on your car. We are sure this guy makes a great impression on people who see his truck. He sounds like a total winner.

14. Shoes Are Optional Everywhere

No shoes no service seems to not be as important in Florida as it is in other states. And it’s nice to see this bare foot mama is passing on her healthy and clean habits to the next generation by making sure her kid is also barefoot but at least he is in the cart. Because Wal-Mart carts are probably a bastion of cleanliness. We would love to understand the thought process and the justification that goes into telling yourself, yes I will go out in public barefoot even though I am a grown adult. It is one thing to walk around outside in nature barefoot, but this is just dirty, unhygienic, and you can get warts on your feet from doing this so it is unhealthy as well! And if there is one floor that is guaranteed to give you warts, it is a Florida Wal-Mart floor.

13. Please Don’t Shoot The Hurricanes

No, this is not a joke article. This is a real thing that came happened when Hurricane Irma was descending on Florida. While the storm was devastating and no joke, one would think this headline certainly is one. We know that people love their guns because they think they can solve a lot of big problems for them. Scary though but it is what it is. So of course that line of thinking lead to some hillbilly in Florida thinking well, the hurricane is bad and my gun gets rid of bad things so I am just going to shoot into this force of nature. We are living in 2017 and a Sheriff really had to tell people not to do that. Only in Florida this would happen…

12. How To Expedite Lung Cancer

In this day and age when we are all exposed to so much it is hard not to become desensitized to things. But this picture honestly leaves us speechless and question how humans have managed to come as far as we have as a species when there are some like this. Why? Is the first question that comes to mind and somehow ‘getting cancer’ just does not seem like a suitable answer. And it just can’t be so that these guys can be cool because who in their right mind would think they are after this stunt?And the politically incorrect implications that come from the bottom picture with their faces covered in black soot really is the cherry on top of this picture.

11. Just Your Average Florida Glamour Queen

In a lot of ways, this girl is living the life. Everyone can appreciate having a drink, doing some shopping and eating delicious food. But in many more very real ways, this girl is living the opposite of the good life. At the time she was definitely having the time of her life, how could she not when she has that kind of buzz on? We’re sure when she was coming down in the jail cell after this episode she regretted but we like to imagine that for a few fleeting moments it was worth it all. Regardless of whether you think what she did was amazing or horrible, you have to admit it is definitely some kind of living. A Florida kind of living.

10. Nothing Like A Good Ole Fashioned Chuck e Cheese Brawl

This is a real thing that happened in a Florida Chuck e Cheese. Now, Chuck e Cheese has a two drink limit policy, because apparently adults need to know not to get drunk in a children’s area. It seems like even with such a policy trouble seems to happen, at least in a Florida Chuck e Cheese. This wasn’t even some random town in Florida, it was in Miami. Apparently one person though someone was looking at them the wrong way, and then of course fists ended up being thrown and hair was being pulled. And it is safe to a assume that everyone involved in this huge brawl is there with a child so, sign them all up for parent of the year. Never change Florida. Or, actually please do for the sake of the children.

9. Mud Girls

Nothing like a good ole fashioned muddin’. We always thought that muddin was a a thing people did in the south where they take their trucks out to really muddy areas and just drive around making it all spray up and covering their car. People do what they an to entertain themselves! Don’t judge. Anyways, it looks like in Florida that not only do the trucks go muddin but so do the girls because of course they do. We won’t even talk about the infection ramifications that covering your body in mud would have. We’re sure that every parent of these young ladies that got to see this photo just burst with pride at this picture and what their little girls ended up growing into. It’s Florida, we aren’t joking. They probably were really proud.

8. Holla For A Dolla!

This ray of sunshine is Charles Easter, 38-year-old resident of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. He is well known on the boardwalk because he wears a pink bikini and performs for the people who walk by busking for change. What else did you picture him doing for a career?Well if you would believe it turns out that Mr. Easter is actually quite well known to local law enforcement and he tends to get entangled with the law quite often. The reason for the arrest that lead to the above mug shot is the fact that Mr. Easter became unruly while he was visiting a friend that was in the hospital. This was around 2 am in the morning. We have so many questions about the circumstance of his arrest, and who his friend was.

7. Mommy Dearest

Social media has allowed so many different kinds of people to express themselves. People like the above Florida mom who knows the proper way to enjoy her daughters 7th birthday party. Honestly the first thing that comes to mind when looking at the above photo is how much that fall must hurt. Homegirl is impaled onto a bush and anyone that has fell into one knows that they are not soft and they do not cushion anything. Thankfully for her, she is probably at the point where she cannot feel anything. Well at least not that day, but maybe the next. At least she won’t have to explain to her daughter why she is all bruised up, she will just see the pictures from her birthday. Creating memories for your kids is important.

6. Big Local News

Oh Florida, we honestly expect nothing less at this point…This is a classic trifecta. A Ruby Tuesday, pawn shop, and a gentlemen’s club with big news for its local patrons. And it seems like the big guest star is only going to be there for a very shot period of time, so it’s nice that they are letting people know they have a limited opportunity to go see a highly desired dancer. With that kind of definitive statement in its club advertising it is obvious that she has a large following that really enjoy, er, watching her. And when kids that are old enough to read ask their parents exactly what that means when they go bye, they can just tell them that it is a Florida staple they will understand when they are older.

5. Local Art

Florida’s natural setting is so beautiful. It is a sub tropical climate which means it is very green and warm all year round. And who doesn’t love the sight of palm trees? There is all kind of wild life, which for some people is a win and not so much for others. And then there is the gorgeous local decal art that Floridians like that just adds to the gorgeous tropical backdrop. What? You don’t appreciate seeing an image of a woman tied up with her mouth covered? Well just try taking that up with a guy driving a huge pick up truck with said decal on the back and another big sticker that says Rough Country. We are positive he is an understanding gentleman.

4. What, You Wouldn’t Try To Steal A Downed Pole?

Listen there are two kind of people in this world. The ones who jump on any opportunity that opens up to them and ones that don’t. These guys fall into the first category. Apparently after Hurricane Irma blasted through Florida doing millions of dollar in damage and running peoples lives, some people thought to themselves this situation just screams opportunity. A downed pole was a part of the damage from the hurricane and these two gems came across it and thought this is a good thing to steal. Somehow when people saw these two shirtless tweakers putting a pole on top of their car they realized something is amiss. A big undertaking that they walked into with zero forethought.

3. That Is One Way To Get Your Message Across

The cluster of trash cans and recycling bin really adds to the message this person was trying to get across about Karen. We wonder if that was just the stars arranging themselves perfectly or if the person that did the spray painting job put them all there for dramatic effect. Because it really works. No one likes to be cheated on, which we are assuming is what happened here with Karen. Some people will just cut you right out of their life, while others will take a more intense route to get their hurt and anger across to you. Maybe it is all the hot and humid weather down there that just makes people more explosive but this sure is a Floridian way of getting a message across. My god Karen, get it together woman!!

2. Florida Lot Lizard Starter Pack

This is the kind of thing you see when you are driving down the highway and stop in a truck stop and laugh at. Because come on who actually would use something as trashy as this? Even if you are a smoker and a drinker, you may find it hard to wrap you head around actually sporting your vices in such a way as this. Efficient as it is, the look is just not a great one. But it is perfect for the Floridian that prefers to spend their day sitting in a chair on their lawn or even better just hanging out in the parking lot of a convenience store and needs to hide their beer in public while also keeping it cool. How do people of Florida even come up with this stuff? Is it that much of an inconvenience from them to have to cary all these things separately that they need to invent a little cozy for it all?

1. Ratchett Regi The Rapper

The lovely lady holding the pug and wearing the librarian glasses is something of a Florida legend. She went viral awhile back because she was giving a lap dance to a 500 lb man at the Gathering of the Juggalo’s. Yes that is a thing. Her name is Ratchet Regi and she lives in a house called The Sausage Castle where people can go pay to party. She calls herself the most ratchet dancer in all of Florida, a title that she brandishes proudly and works hard to live up to each and every day. Regi has become something of an internet star because of her viral videos where she does all kinds of crazy stuff, including a lot of adult themed dancing. Ratchet Regi is like the human personification of Florida, and it is an interesting sight. Just go on and give her a google. She is famous for dancing with snakes to Im A Slave 4 U

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