Imagine this: the world is ending tomorrow. Like, actually, actually ending tomorrow.
I’m sure your first question is: How? Well, I’m not sure. Maybe there’s an asteroid heading for earth. Maybe the sun is going to burn out. Maybe some kind of underwater volcano is going to erupt, and it’s so big that it’s going to end the world. Maybe Kim Jong-un is mad AF…LOL, just kidding.
Wow, things got dark fast there, am I right? Well, I’m not exactly sure HOW the world would end. What I do know is that we would behave… in a special way. That means, of course, that we would all do some pretty crazy things.
What women would do obviously depends on each of us. Some of us might party. Some of us might eat all the things. Some of us might booty call our ex. Some of us might sleep through it (hi, me). But although what we would do might be different from each of us, here are 16 totally screwed up things that women would definitely do if the world was ending tomorrow.
Now, just be glad that, uh, the world isn’t ending tomorrow… that we know of, that is.
16. Quit Your Job And Tell Your Boss How You Really Feel
If the world was FOR SURE ending tomorrow, you might not even bother to go into the office… you know, because there’s very limited time left to be alive and everything. Why would you show up? I totally get that logic. However, if you have the boss from hell, you might want to go in there to give said boss from hell a piece of your mind.
That’s right, you may live out that epic fantasy you have where you quit and tell your boss how you really, really feel about them. You see this stuff in movies but you never see it happening in real life because of the whole employment history and references thing. But if the world was ending and there was no need for employment history, job references, or income, you would want to take the opportunity to tell your boss how much they suck.
15. Cheat On Your Significant Other
Maybe you totally love your significant other. In which case, Yas Queen. Keep loving that dude and spend your last day on earth with him.
If you just so happen to be in a less than perfect relationship, you probably want to have one last fling before the world ends. And who could blame you? I mean, why spend your last day alive arguing with you lame boyfriend who won’t even watch The Bachelorette, Riverdale or Grey’s Anatomy with you? Honestly, what kind of commitment is that? BYE, BOY.
If you have a crush, or an ex-boyfriend, or even some f*ck boy from your past, you want to throw down with him before the world ends. The plus side is that you’ll never have to tell your boyfriend about the infidelity. You know, because the world will end.
14. Steal That Chanel Purse You’ve Always Wanted
Why die without having the things that you want most, right?
If you’ve been lusting after a purse, a pair of shoes, or a dress, just steal it. I mean, the world is literally ending. It’s doubtful that the sales associates would even care that much. In fact, it’s doubtful they would even show up to work that day. So, walk into (or break into) that Barney’s/Chanel/Louis Vuitton and take what you want, girl.
And yeah, this may seem shallow. I mean, this is shallow. But there’s not much time for you to do much else in life, right? There’s not enough time for you to finish your novel, see all 50 states, or master a new language. Nope. But, if one of your goals is to have a luxury handbag or shoes, you can make that come true. It’s about goal fulfillment.
13. Rob A Bank
Speaking of taking things… why not rob a bank?
This one is both a great idea and a bad idea. It’s a bad idea because, um, what would you do with the money if the world was ending? There’s no point stealing $10, $100, or $1 million if the world is ending tomorrow. However, what if the world didn’t end? Whenever you get bad news, you always feel like the world is going to end. We’ve also been told that this would happen time and time again and it didn’t. So, when bank security wouldn’t really exist, take this opportunity to steal some cash. If the world just so happened to not end, you would be a millionaire.
12. Lose Your V-Card
You might not be a virgin. In which case, I’d assume you’d probably get one last bang session in before the world ends, right? However, if you ARE a virgin, you might want to cash in your V-card. I mean, it’s now or never, girl! And doesn’t everyone want to lose their virginity before they die?
You’d want to cash in that V-card just to satisfy your natural curiosity. I mean, before you do it, you don’t really KNOW what it feels like. Plus, who knows what is next for us? Can you have sex in heaven? Who knows? This might be your one chance to have sex.
11. Ummm, Party. HARD.
Another thing that adrenaline makes you want to do is PARTY. Like, really, really party. Thankfully, I would assume there would be a ton of parties happening thanks to the world ending and all. I mean, what a great party theme, right?
That being said, you might suddenly want to experiment with drugs. I know, guys. The D.A.R.E. program came to my school, too. But, if the world was literally ending tomorrow, what harm could drugs bring you? Whether you choose to take a hit of weed, try some coke, or take ecstasy, you might be curious enough to try a new drug. Also, you wouldn’t have to be afraid of experiencing any negative side effects of drugs, which is what keeps a lot of people from doing drugs. I mean, you are guaranteed to die tomorrow, so what harm could a hit of ecstasy do?
10. Eat Absolutely Whatever You Want
Ah, wouldn’t we all do so many bodily things if the world was ending tomorrow? I mean, it would be our last guaranteed time in our bodies, since no one knows what happens when we die. Like, do we even get to eat in heaven? And what would heaven even be without truffle cheese fries?
If the world was ending tomorrow, many of us would be eating our version of our perfect last meal, whatever that may be. For some of us, it would be a filet and for others, it would be a cheeseburger. For some of us women who watch what we eat, it would be time to eat everything. And I mean everything. You would make up for those days, weeks, months, or years you’ve had salads instead of French Fries because any weight you gain won’t matter.
9. Spend Every Last Dime Your Have To Your Name
When it comes to our money, many of us are concerned with the future. We want to have retirement savings. We want investments. We want all our loans and credit card debt paid off. We want a college fund for our children. We want that down payment for a home.
Planning for the future is all about money. You give up on doing things that you want to do today in order to plan for tomorrow. Instead of vacationing in Europe today, you will choose to pay off your Discover card for future financial stability. Well, when the world is ending tomorrow, there is nothing more that you can save for. You might suddenly want to spend all your money. You know, you WORKED for that money. You traded in your time and effort for that money, and now you want to spend it before it’s too late.
8. Have A Bang Sesh With Your Crush
Girl, you have to tell your crush how you feel! I mean, if not now, then when?
We all have crushes. Sometimes they are small, like that cute guy you work with or that bartender who is extra nice to you. These may just be attractive guys who make your day a little bit better. On the other hand, there are also crushes that take over your life. I’m talking a sitcom style crush. A crush like Ross and Rachel on Friends or Jim and Pam on The Office. If you have a crush like this, which is to say you’re basically in love with your friend, you need to make a move
7. Trash Your Ex’s Car
On the note of making a move on a friend, you probably want to tell your ex how you really feel about him. Like I said, if not now, then when? The world is ending, girl. It’s time to tell your ex-boyfriend to suck it. You can also get some closure by… oh, I don’t know… maybe trashing his apartment or smashing in his windshield. Of course, with the world ending and all, this won’t be as effective as smashing his windshield when he’d actually have to deal with it. But still, smashing someone’s windshield will always feel cathartic in some way.
If you still have feelings for your ex, like the good kind of feelings, tell him. Have your The Notebook moment before the world ends.
6. Tell Everyone How You Really Feel About Them
That goes for ex-boyfriends, crushes, and literally everyone else. With the world ending, you definitely want to let everyone know how you feel about them. Let it all out, girl. You may want to text that mean girl from your high school and tell her what a mean girl she was. You may want to let your neighbor know that they play their music WAY too loud. You want to get things off your chest because you don’t want the world to end without having the opportunity to get your feelings out.
That being said, the people that you bump into during your last day on earth may be victim to your more expressive personality. Don’t like the way that dude spoke to you? OH, you’re going to tell him about it. Did someone cut you off in traffic? OH, you’ll flip them the bird.
5. Drink That Special Bottle Of Wine You’ve Been Saving
We all have that thing we’ve been saving for a special occasion. Maybe it’s a nice bottle of wine you’ve been saving for when you finally get a promotion. Maybe it’s a hot dress you’ve been saving for a night when you’re pretty sure you’re going to run into an ex. (Me too, girl.) Whatever it may be, the knowledge of the world ending will make you, um, stop saving it. I mean, there will be ONE DAY left to live, so who cares about running into an ex or drinking that bottle of wine? Live in the moment and enjoy today.
Quite frankly, this is a good life lesson. We shouldn’t always be saving things for some big occasion. Maybe it’s just a Monday and nothing interesting happened, but you should still drink that wine and wear that dress. You don’t need an excuse to live your best life.
4. Drive Like You’re In A Fast And The Furious Movie
This one you may do on purpose or by accident, but it’s highly likely you’ll drive like there is no tomorrow… because there is no tomorrow.
If you do this on purpose, it may be because you’ve always wanted to drive like a maniac. I mean, how tempting do movies make driving like an insane person look? Remember Drive with Ryan Gosling? Um, driving fast never looked so good. Speeding is a risky adrenaline rush, but it’s a risk you may be more willing to take since the world is ending.
I’ll add that you may also do this accidentally. I mean, you only have so many hours left to live, right? So, you do not have time to wait at red lights. NOPE. You need to go, so you may end up driving like an insane person without even realizing it.
3. A Last Ditch Effort To Save Yourself
Most of us would do this one.
In the face of death, we would all look for ways to be saved. Some of us may suddenly become religious. Actually, I think a lot of us who have never been religious before would suddenly find faith because that is what happens when one is staring down the barrel of a gun. So, you can expect churches to be packed full of people.
Some people might try to save themselves via a bunker or something like that. Oh, and you know a few of us would try to get in with someone with a bunker.
2. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands, So To Speak
From saving yourself to, uh, not saving yourself.
Some of us would just want to end it before the end of the world. Of course, it depends on how the world will end. Will it be quick and painless or horrible and long? If your fate is left up in the air like that, you may want to take matters into your own hands.
Yes, it’s dark to talk about the possibility of offing yourself. But, the world is going to end anyway, so is suicide really that dark? I mean, we’re all going to die tomorrow in this scenario. So, you may just want to take some sleeping pills and drift off before an asteroid hits the earth or whatever.
1. Literally Do Nothing Different
This is either the most messed up thing we would all do, or the least messed up thing we would all do. I can’t decide. But, many of us would carry on with our lives. Like, we wouldn’t do anything differently. This could be for several reasons. The first is that you’re in denial and you don’t believe that the world is actually ending. That would be a normal response, as many of us wouldn’t be able to mentally handle the end of the world.
Whatever you may do in the face of the world ending tomorrow, none of them are really bad decisions. Without actually having to face the consequences, one could actually argue that nothing is a bad decision, even robbing a bank or drag racing.
Another reason you might just carry on with your day is you like your life and you wouldn’t do anything different given the choice. In that case, you’re living your best life ever, girl.
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