They say not to mix business with pleasure, but when you’re both on the same schedules and understand the trials and tribulations of the same job, it can happen. Team bonding activities with coworkers can turn into something more, friendships can turn into relationships, and before you know it, you’re stepping out with a coworker when you’ve already got someone else waiting for you at home!
Professions with irregular work hours – or long ones – or that require a specific skill set, or that trade on attractive appearances are all more likely to have infidelity hiding in the corners. It’s just easier (and more tempting) to try to get away with an affair when your schedule allows it – and when the other person is too damn appealing to turn away from. Thanks to Whisper, we have 15 confessions from the women who found themselves hooking up with their coworker, their assistant, or their boss – and not all of them regret it! Taking the term “business casual” in a whole other direction, these confessions might warn you from ever attempting a workplace romance – at least while you’re committed to someone else!
15 False Guilt
It depends on your point of view, but some people might consider emotional affairs to be worse than physical indiscretions. With an affair that’s just about getting handsy, it might feel like less of a betrayal than if your SO shared their thoughts and feelings with another person, eventually growing close to them on an emotional level than they ever were to you – but again, it all depends on your POV.
For this Whisper confessor, it seems that emotional affairs don’t track as being quite on par with other kinds of cheating, otherwise she might have felt bad about her decision! Sure, she SAYS that she’s feeling bad for what she’s done, but the truth is that she’d do it again, meaning that her guilty conscience clearly hasn’t impacted her decision-making abilities.
14 All About Ego
Let’s get honest here: cheating has a lot to do with ego and self-esteem. More often than not, you’re feeling neglected in your existing relationship, emotionally or physically, and are searching for comfort and affection elsewhere. With someone else, you can feel that rush of newness, the risk of being found out, and the thrill of being wanted again. We know that you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you, but if we’re gonna get real here, sometimes people need that extra push: if someone else sees them as valuable, they do too, and that doesn’t make you a bad person!
We’re not condoning this Whisper user’s actions here, but if she wasn’t getting what she needed in her previous relationship (which sounds like it’s over), and managed to get a boost through an affair (which is also over), we can’t totally knock it in this specific case!
Unlike that last Whisper user, this one’s affair didn’t turn out so well. We don’t know what happened exactly, but it seems clear that either this writer’s relationship with her SO was ruined as a result of her actions, or that she fell head over heels for coworker and ended up getting burned.
We’re inclined to think that this was a combination of the two situations, because on their own, neither sound like the “worst thing to ever happen” to a person. Perhaps this Whisper user found her personal and professional life ruined beyond repair, left by her SO and her lover, forced to pick up the pieces of her career once her unprofessional behaviour was found out. If you ever needed a stern warning not to step out on your partner with someone you work with, let this one be it!
12 Getting Down On The Job
This just sounds like a terrible idea, one where the high of potentially getting caught outweighs anything else. Sure, we totally understand the appeal of sneaking in a few kisses when everyone’s back is turned, but it’s so risky, it’s like these two want to be found out. Getting down in the office or somewhere another employee could find you spells trouble, and it seems to us that these two are throwing away their serious relationships for a fling, because anything you’re committed to, you wouldn’t treat so cavalierly.
We do hope that these two are smart enough to at least have a locked office or a closed door in which to get frisky, because otherwise, we won’t be surprised when they get caught. In fact, we’ll be the first ones to tell them that we told them so!
11 Hindsight Is 20/20
Yikes! Sometimes, you’ve got a bit of a Jim and Pam situation on your hands, in which you’re both committed to other people (in this case, married), but can’t fight your attraction to one another any longer. (Although, to be fair to Jim and Pam, aside from that one adulterous kiss, they kept things pretty above-board until both were officially single.)
However, a relationship that comes from cheating is likely to always have the spectre of cheating hovering over it. This may be the case for this Whisper confessor, who admits that the affair – and, subsequently, her marriage – was a mistake. No one wants the love of their life to come from something so distasteful and this writer, while admitting her love for her new husband, doesn’t seem quite able to get past their origins.
10 Good & Bad
Okay, where do we start with this one? First off, good for her for finding someone she loves, or at least thinks she loves, even if it is her coworker and even if she’s married. The only reason we say “good for her” is that she can’t stand her husband, which brings us to point number two. If she can’t stand him, why is she with him? She says she can’t leave him, which has us suspect that money might be the case, as it’s usually money (or lack thereof) and children that would keep people together in an unhappy marriage. While we like to proffer some solutions to these Whisper confessions, this one has us stumped, because we don’t know the exact circumstances! Hopefully, this writer can figure out what she wants most – and what she can live without.
9 Looming Threat
You know what they say about dipping your pen in the company ink! Sounds to us like this Whisper user is getting her comeuppance – and fast! It’s one thing to have an affair with a married coworker (whether you’re also involved with someone or not), but it’s another to do it while working at a company that also employs his wife! Come on, how long did you think you could get away with this when he has at least one set of eyes on him at all times?
We applaud the wife in this situation for taking it upon herself to message her husband’s mistress, and while her husband isn’t in the clear for his adulterous behaviour, he does get some points for telling her (although it was probably out of fear of getting caught eventually). All we can say is buckle up, because you’re in for a helluva ride!
8 Can’t Have Your Cake & Eat It Too
Okay, this Whisper confession can be read in two ways: First, this new man she’s having the affair with is the right person for her, and he’ll leave her if she doesn’t leave her husband. (By the way, if he’s issuing an ultimatum like this, he’s not the right person.) Or, on the other hand we have the idea that her husband is actually the right person for her and he’ll leave her if she tells him about the affair. We’re inclined to go with number one in this case, in which we have to say that this lady needs to ditch her coworker and go back to her husband. Clearly, she still has feelings for the man she married, and if her coworker is threatening to ditch her if she doesn’t end her marriage, he’s not the great guy she thinks he is!
7 Gal Pals
Hey, sometimes people figure out their sexuality later in life, or feel secure enough in themselves to embrace it! With that being said, exploring your sexuality does not give you a free pass to step out on your partner. This Whisper confessor tells us that she’s a married mom who is twice the age of the woman she’s having an affair with and while the infidelity is icky, we also have some concerns about the age difference.
Yes, we know that age is nothing but a number, but, depending on the job they both work at, this writer could very well be the 20-year-old’s superior, and thus using her professional position to intimidate or otherwise influence her subordinate. Figuring out, after however many years, that you like women? Totally cool. Risking your marriage and using your (possible) professional position to do it? Definitely not.
6 Homewrecker Central
Hey, we have an idea of what to do! Stop it!
Seriously, how is this Whisper user even asking this question when the answer is so obvious? If you, who are single, are choosing to be with a married man and father, you are doing a bad thing, period. He is also clearly in the wrong, putting his marriage and family in jeopardy, but if this Whisper confessor “doesn’t know what to do”, then she should end it, plain and simple.
Look, we understand that when feelings are involved, things can become murky and it can be difficult to make the hard decisions. However, it seems to us that this writer knows what she should do – she just doesn’t want to. Eventually, we suspect that her hand (or his) will be forced and things will blow up rather than simply simmer down.
5 Sleeping To The Top?
See, this is where things get awkward.
We assume that, when this affair began, they were both coworkers of similar levels, at least in regards to pay or position. It was illicit and adulterous, sure, but equal. Now, however, there’s a total imbalance of power, with her married coworker now promoted to being her boss. Although the affair is over, he can still use their romantic past to his advantage, possibly coercing her in terms of professional needs, or into starting things up with him again.
Affairs are a slippery slope, and having office relations can have things get very messy very fast. No one wants to be bossed around by their former lover, but that’s the risk you take when you take up with a married coworker who now might have an axe to grind!
4 Employee Roster
Wow, this girl is getting around! Depending on the work environment you’re in, relationships among coworkers are to be expected. For example, the restaurant industry is notorious for having its employees swap partners as the years go by, in large part due to the long and irregular hours, the penchant for after-shift drinks and partying, and the generally youthful demographic that’s employed there. That may be the situation we’ve found this Whisper user in, but that doesn’t excuse getting it on with a married coworker.
If this confessor was simply sleeping around, that’s her business, and if she’s being safe, more power to her. However, if she’s making her way through the employee roster, regardless of their marital status, that’s when we have a problem. She asks what’s wrong with her but we think she already knows.
3 BDSM With The Boss
Hey, when two consenting adults want to get a little kinky between the sheets, we say go for it! If you’re doing that kind of thing with your boss, you’re definitely opening yourself up to some issues when it comes to the job front, but that is your business, even if it’s a nail in your career’s coffin. However, if you’re doing all of that and your boss has a girlfriend – who you also work with! – then we have a whole host of problems.
First off, the power dynamic in the bedroom probably shouldn’t be replicated in the office. Those blurred lines make things extra messy. Additionally, it’s just not cool to be doing this right under his girlfriend’s nose, especially since she works with them. Eventually, that BDSM will likely become S&M – but no one will be having a good time.
2 Love Child?
Wait a second, is the math off on this or is it just us? Let’s break it down: This Whisper confessor says she had an affair with a coworker two months ago, which is about eight or so weeks. However, she tells us that she is six weeks pregnant. There’s only a risk of the baby being her coworker’s (and not her husband’s) if their affair continued after those two months, and in fact began at two months. Although, from her wording, it sounds to us like the affair ENDED two months ago, like perhaps it was a one-time deal. If that’s the case, she doesn’t have to worry about her baby’s paternity! (Although, she might want to worry about the IQ of her bun in the oven, because if our calculations are correct, she’s passing on some pretty dumb genes!)
1 Beyond Awful
People grieve in a lot of different ways and there’s no right way to do it. We can assume that the man stepping out on his fiancé is acting irrationally because of the loss of their child – THEIR, not HER, which this Whisper user fails to connect. He could be looking for comfort as his fiancée has withdrawn, because what happened was traumatic. We’re not excusing it, just explaining.
This Whisper user, on the other hand, is beyond horrible. Not only is she actively partaking in an affair where the rightful woman is in despair, but she is preying on a vulnerable person, and taking advantage of his situation. We hope the fiancée never finds out, in case it pushes her over the edge, but we do hope that karma comes back to bite this one!