If all is fair in love and war, then it makes a lot of sense that sometimes couples play dirty to get attention from their partner. There will be times when poking your partner with your finger and saying, “hey you. Give me attention” will not be enough so we must resort to particular strategies, which we believe will garner their attentiveness. More often than not, we engage in tactics that we believe will make our partner incredibly jealous, so they will have no other option but to surrender to us and lay on the floor at our feet.
However, guys have caught on to our silly games, and now, the majority of once tried and true schemes simply falter, leaving us back where we started, and still without the attention of our significant other.
Many psychologists will talk about the fact that relationships can get boring, and sometimes men must be “forced into action” in order to keep them interested in being with you. That can come in the form of ultimatums, break-ups or even cheating in desperate cases. Whatever gets the message across is typically fair game when you are desperate.
Men and women each have their own games that they like to play. For men, it’s usually the play-it cool-and-hard-to-get game that keeps us glued to our phones wondering if maybe, just maybe, he will text us back. Women, on the other hand, play lots of dirty flirting games, and then follow it up by playing dumb.
If you are trying to play your own game, to get your beau’s attention, here are 15 ways we try to make him jealous that don’t work so you may want to try a strategy NOT on the list.
15 Talk A Big Game
Women and men alike both brag about things to attract members of the opposite sex, or to look more dominant in the group, but whereas men talk about hook-ups, women tend to talk about attention they receive from [insert descriptors about his appearance here] guys we meet at different places. Even women in relationships like to play the game where they talk about the guy behind him in line at Yogen Früz who winked at them and picked up the change they dropped, to try to make it clear that there is other interest out there. The reason this doesn’t work is because guys are onto this strategy. They know that you are wonderful, but both of you have your flaws. At the end of the day, if you were going to run off with Prince Charming and leave him in the dust, he doesn’t want to be with you anyway, so he will just let you run your mouth and continue on whatever he was doing.
14 Wearing Revealing Clothing Out
If your attitude is generally, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it” then you may have used this trick at least once to get into your boyfriend’s head. Basically, when you wear clothing that’s a bit more revealing than your usual wardrobe when you guys are going out together, or even when you are going out for girl’s night without him, you want him to notice. The idea is that you remind him of what he has and not to have a wandering eye, while at the same time making sure he knows that you look good enough to get attention from other guys when you are out. This doesn’t work well for him because it tends to make him more annoyed than anything. He likes being the only one to see your body, which he appreciates, and he also worries about you going out there dressed like that. He knows you’re doing it for attention and he’ll do his best to not give it to you, while blocking other guys from giving it to you too.
13 Flirting With Other Guys In Front Of Him
Ask any girl the best way to make a guy jealous and she will tell you to flirt with other guys around him. They can be strangers in close proximity of him, his friends, or your coworkers. Depending on the current status of your relationship with him, this method can have some problems. One, your line and his line for what’s acceptable can be very different and you run the risk of seriously wounding his ego if you cross that line into “cheating” territory. Two, the other guy may take it as more than flirting and then you have two guys upset with you. Finally, the third is that guys have figured you out on this. They know you are interested in them because you keep making eye contact to ensure he’s watching you flirt with this other guy, and if he knows he’s good with you, he’ll leave it alone and assume he can still take you home later. And if he’s your boyfriend, and you are trying to get his attention, you are more likely to get glares of betrayal rather than any immediate action.
12 Going Into Extreme Detail About What Happened On Girls' Night Out
Girls' nights are a significant part of maintaining your sanity while in a relationship. For anyone who’s ever gone to a girls' night out celebration, you probably know those things can get pretty rowdy, and guys, though they’ll never admit it, do sit at home and stress about what you are up to without them. The day after, going into extreme detail about your shenanigans from the night before, or doing the opposite -- being cryptic and vague -- is yet another way you try to make him jealous. It doesn’t usually work anymore, especially with a long-term partner, because he wants you to go out and have fun at girls' night, and he wants you to leave him alone on guys' night. If he’s a new partner, and you aren’t sure where things stand, this trick might work but with your boyfriend. You both trust each other, until you give them a reason not to trust you, so he’s not overly concerned with what you did with your bffs.
11 Bringing Up Your Ex
It’s a huge relationship faux pas to talk about your ex, as you should know already. How much would you like it if he brought her up all the time? Exactly. The majority of us are great at following this unspoken rule, and it’s not really a problem since many burn their bridges and never look back. However, there are some of you that are still in a small amount of contact with an ex; maybe you work in the same industry, or maybe you share mutual friends, or one of you just had a pressing question that required communication. Your man probably wants to know that your ex sent you that email, but he doesn’t need the nitty gritty details about how much you miss that your ex used to do this and that. If you’re going to try to use this to make him jealous, don’t bother because to your current boyfriend, if you want to go back to your ex, over whom you are still “pining," go right ahead because he wants someone who wants to be with him, not someone flip-flopping like a fish out of water.
10 Being Overly Physical With Other Guys
Maybe flirting isn’t your forté but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to work at making him at least a little bit jealous. Whether or not you directly or indirectly call this type of physical communication flirting, your boyfriend probably does. The hand on his chest and hugs that last too long are sure signs you are trying to push his buttons, but it doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. You may try to avoid a fight by doing this less blatantly obvious “flirting” technique, but it’s going to be flirting to him either way, so you’ll get a reaction out of him; it just might not be the one you want. It’s also so textbook-obvious that he can’t help but know what you are doing and most guys aren’t willing participants in your real life chess game with your significant other. You may as well just play with your hair and lean into him for all the good this move is going to do you.
9 Posting Pics On Instagram With Other guys
“Pics or it didn’t happen” is a popular saying among today’s youth. Now, it’s a little bit more like “post everything on Instagram and Facebook or we just assume you sit at home with your cats and are dead when you aren’t online.” Our excessive obsession with all things social media have made it even easier, not just to digitally stalk your boy online, but to make up stories to try to make him jealous. Maybe you saw a really cute boy at the bar and asked him to take a pic, or maybe you run into someone from college and snap a photo at the bar. Your boyfriend doesn’t know that so you take the opportunity to share the pic online in attempts to drive him crazy. He might do a double take on the photo, but guys are also a lot less socially nuts than women are, so he’s bound to care less and assume he’s an old friend, rather than a handsome, strapping young lad trying to sweep his girlfriend off her feet and take her away forever.
8 Giggling Like A Schoolgirl At Jokes That Are Not Funny
Laughter is usually a nervous tick that many use when they don’t know how to respond to a particular comment or situation. Just remember back when you were in high school and you were crushing on the popular boy but every time you went to talk to him, you got antsy and could only formulate bubbly laughter? Women laughing at men’s jokes are one sign that they are interested, and men are well aware of it. You can picture the girl trying too hard to flirt at that party -- hand on his chest, laughing at jokes that just aren’t funny and batting her eyelashes from time to time. Your man isn’t going to be fooled by this ploy because chances are he knows you and knows your sense of humor. Basically, if he hears jokes that he knows you wouldn’t find funny but sees you laughing, he knows it’s just you trying to make him jealous by fawning over another guy.
7 Wait Wayyyyyyyyyy Too Long Before Replying To His Texts
Guys use this tactic more frequently than women, but now women have started using it to make sure men know that they aren’t just available all the time to reply to their messages. Not replying to messages implies that you are unavailable, or doing other more important things that take priority over replying to a text message from your boy toy. There is a “couple of hours” rule in place for this one, but sometimes, you just forget about the message or try to give him the silent treatment. If he’s your boyfriend, he knows where you live and will just show up if you don’t answer your phone, and if he’s just someone you’re dating, waiting too long might indicate to him that you aren’t interested and he will turn his attention elsewhere. Either way, if you are trying this tactic, make sure you keep it at a few hours between messages because waiting a few days usually does more harm than good in the game of love.
6 Planning Vacations Without Including Him
Planning a vacation can be very exciting, but there is a lot of thought that goes into it. Where do you want to go? What is the star rating? Do they have good food options? Beach access? How much is this going to cost? It’s nice to run these ideas past your partner so you have a sounding board and can have an enjoyable vacation together. You might try to make him jealous by planning this magical vacation and letting him know he WON’T be included in it, or alternatively, planning this vacation and just not mentioning to him whether or not you plan on inviting him or not. Doing that just ticks him off – it doesn’t make him jealous – and usually when we engage in ploys like this for jealousy purposes, we don’t want an actual break-up to occur because of it. We just want them to have a wake-up call. This trick walks the line that could result in him being THAT upset with you that he would at least consider it, especially if you two have been talking about a vacay for awhile now.
5 Spending A Lot of Time With Your Male Friends
You and him have probably gone through those early awkward moments where he creeped some of your Facebook and Instagram photos and asked you who each of those guys were in photos. He knows who the exes are and who the besties are, and who bats for the other team. When you tell him that you’re spending a lot of time with one of your male friends, he probably just sees this as you needing a bit of personal space, and wishes you well to do this. If you want to really make him jealous, try cracking out the name of a new coworker or friend he doesn't know and tell him that’s where you’re spending all of your time. It will definitely make him jealous, but be prepared for him to tell you he wants the down-low on this new guy. He may even want to meet him, and if you refuse, he is well within his rights to ask you to stop spending so much time alone with this one person.
4 Posting "New Body" Photos On Instagram To Get Male Attention
#TransformationTuesday is a very popular hashtag used across different social channels. The posts are usually related to before-after photos of physical transformations that one has gone through in terms of their body and physical health/wellness. Most of these photos include the lady toting Lulu’s and a sports bra to really show off her new figure, but sometimes, it’s even less. That’s a lot of skin to show when you think about it, and it’s your body, so flaunt if you want, but he might not have the desired reaction you are hoping to achieve. If you are a fitness nut and this is in your character to post these types of photos frequently, then have at it, but if you are not, and just posting them to make him jealous it’s going to make him really question why you are showing off THAT much skin. Naturally, you’ll get a slew of likes (especially since you strategically used hashtags to get more views) and many comments from men, some of which you’ve never met. It might feel nice to get that attention, but his perception of you is going to be that you are high-maintenance, and you need male attention (and you don’t care where it comes from). That’s going to make him feel very anti-special and no guy wants to be with a girl who makes him feel average.
3 Talking About How "Hot" A Celebrity Is
Hollywood makes money selling the beautiful faces of the rich and the famous on screen, so there’s no surprise that you would think that a handful of them are just your type. You may be a Channing Tatum type of gal, or a Zac Efron lover, or you may love Canadian cutie Ryan Gosling or lead singer of Maroon Five, Adam Levine. Your boyfriend has these feelings about certain leading ladies, too, whether it’s Angelina Jolie, Margot Robbie, Jennifer Lawrence or Zoe Saldana. He knows that when you two see movies together, you are going to swoon and wish that Zac Efron would take you somewhere as a wedding date, or that Channing Tatum would ride your pony. Every time you blabber on about how hot someone is in attempts to make him jealous, he just kinda rolls his eyes and cringes on the inside. Fantasizing is healthy, but overdoing it annoys him at least a little bit because it’s just not going to happen, and holding him to those unrealistic expectations is a big responsibility.
2 Pretend To Be Too Busy For Him
There’s a fine line between playing hard to get and being constantly unavailable. Maybe you want to make him work for it a little bit more, and that’s fine; most guys are up to the challenge. In fact, they are more likely to stay interested if you make them work a little bit because you prevent complacent boredom. If you are constantly letting him know you are simply too busy to see him because you are out with Guy A, B, C and then some friends and coworkers on the weekend, you are probably crossing that fine line. Yes, guys want to chase a lady and “win” when they finally get with her, but they also don’t want to feel unimportant. If you try to make him jealous by forcing him to chase too much, he will probably just get bored and go looking for someone else, who is equally playing hard to get, but far more available to actually spend time with him.
1 Try Way Too Hard To Look Good
Ask any one in a relationship and they will tell you one of the things they miss the most from their early dating days was that you both put effort into looking good for the other person. Once you hit a certain point, "Netflix and chill" becomes no make-up, messy hair, sweatpants and a blanket, instead of the once sexy jeans and tank top with tight fitting sweater that used to drive him wild. Keeping that in mind, it should also be mentioned that guys know when you are trying too hard. Wearing six-inch stilettos and $300.00 jeans out for wings with him when you’ve already spent two hours on your hair and make-up is a tad excessive. He wants you to try for him, and he wants you to look good, but when you cross the line into looking fake and “painted on,” it’s usually a lot less sexy than you think to your male partner. He’s also going to be unsure of your plans when you are trying to make him jealous – are you looking like that for him, or are you looking like that to get other attention? He obviously gets more turned on when he knows it’s for him, but if you look like you’re trying to play the field out on your dates with him, he’s going to be put off.