Everyone knows that relationships can be super tough, but the pain of a breakup can be far worse. When it comes to getting over him, the struggle is real, and things don’t get any easier once he decides that he’s ready to move on long before you are. It seems no matter where you turn you can’t help but see him and his latest endeavor basking in the glory of their new romance, and it’s enough to make you completely sick to your stomach. Trust us, there are few things more painful than seeing your old flame all giddy again over someone new, but there are totally ways to make it sting a little less. You definitely don’t want to become the bitter ex-girlfriend who can’t get over the past, so before you get too bent out of shape just take a deep breath and check out these 15 ways to handle seeing your ex and a new bae.
15 Remember The Bad Times
Sure, this sounds a bit harsh, but reflecting back on some of the lousy moments of your relationship will really help you remember exactly why he went from boyfriend to ex-boyfriend in the first place. Sometimes we can develop a habit of remembering things to be a lot better than they actually were, and that can lead to some pretty confusing feelings and super unnecessary obsessions. After finding out that your ex has found himself a new bae, it’s easy to idealize him in your head and really feel like you missed your one true shot at happiness. Take our word for it: that’s simply just not the case. Every rose has its thorn, and your ex-boyfriend definitely was anything but perfect. Remember how he used to get jealous of how much time you spent with your girlfriends, or how he used to lacked ambition when it came to his career? Or how about when the honeymoon phase of your relationship ended and you two couldn't stop fighting? And let’s not forget how mediocre he was in bed. Keep all of his imperfections in mind and have yourself a laugh, because all of these quirky idiosyncrasies are now somebody else’s problem other than yours. Cheers to that!
14 Focus On The Positive
After you’ve finished your walk down memory lane to reflect on all of your ex’s bad traits, you can also try focusing on the many positive aspects of your own life. Your world doesn’t have to come to a screeching halt just because your ex has a new love interest – you have far too much going on to worry about what he’s doing and who he’s choosing to spend his time with. Whether it’s putting all of your energy toward doing well in school, excelling at work, or just being a happy person, there is always something much more valuable to be thinking about other than your ex. You still have your amazing family and friends by your side and you don’t need to swell on a man who isn’t worth your time anyway. Who cares if he has a new lady? You’re too distracted by much more important things, like accomplishing your dreams and becoming super successful at anything you set your mind to. There are just way too many reasons to smile than to waste your tears on any man – especially an ex!
13 Embrace The Single Life
After dealing with the breakup, it sounds like you deserve a break! Even though you might not want to admit it right now, being single can actually be pretty sweet. Think about it. You don’t have to worry about anyone else but yourself and you can even flirt with whoever you want (when you’re ready, of course). Sure, your ex may have found himself a new lady, but he rushed into a whole new relationship without ever taking any time to be on his own. At some point, his aggressive approach to dating will catch up to him, but that’s totally not your problem anymore. Now is the time to stay focused on yourself and embrace the beauty of being on your own. Really, there are a bunch of upsides to being single instead of half of a couple... like gaining a refreshing sense of independence. As a single woman, you will find out just how amazingly capable you are at doing pretty much everything because having a boyfriend definitely doesn’t define you.
12 Stop Comparing Yourself To Her
It’s going to be a hard habit to break, but it’s in your best interest to stop mentally sizing up your ex’s new bae. We’ve all been there. You see a picture of a girl who is dating your old flame and almost instantly, you pick apart all of her flaws while simultaneously feeling down on yourself because you secretly envy that he chose to be with her over you. Tearing apart the pros and cons of his new love interest might make you feel better for a little while, but it will only cause you more damage in the long run. It’s important to remember that his new relationship doesn’t devalue the relationship you used to have. She isn’t any better than you, even if she has perfect hair and drives a BMW. You and your ex shared some special moments, but they are all in the past. Trying to draw comparisons between his past and his present certainly won’t help you move on. Once you accept things for what they are, you will be in a much better position…and seeing your ex and his new bae won’t even matter one bit.
11 Lean On Your Friends
There are few things in this world that a glass of wine and a few close friends can’t solve, and this is when you need this the most. If you’re feeling down about your ex getting close to someone new, vent your frustrations by talking it out with your BFF. Guys will always come and go, but your close friends will always be there to hold down the fort when things become a little too much to handle. Don’t be afraid to open up about how seeing your ex with someone new makes you feel. Let’s be honest – it’s totally normal to feel uneasy when someone who you used to date meets someone and moves on. It has happened to the best of us, and your bestie will definitely understand where you’re coming from and will serve as a supportive shoulder to cry on when you really need it. Talking things out with people you trust will surely help you navigate through your wide range of emotions, and your BFF is bound to have a few words of wisdom that will get you through the initial shock of your ex’s newly “unavailable” status. Reaching out to your friends for advice and encouragement is paramount when it comes to getting through tough times like these.
10 Stay Calm
News travels fast, and once you catch wind of your ex’s new relationship, the best thing to do is try to remain unaffected by it all. Acting calm, cool, and collected even though you’re raging on the inside can be a challenge, but you don’t want to look like you care too much about him moving on. Causing a scene, confronting your ex, and trying to sabotage their relationship will only accomplish one thing, and that’s making you look like a seriously crazy ex. If you’re having trouble coming to terms with the fact that your ex has found himself a new girl to call his bae, deal with it behind closed doors and don’t let him see you squirm. Some guys might actually enjoy knowing that you aren’t over them, and the last thing you want to do is give him that undeserved satisfaction. Be the bigger person and remain civil, level-headed, and mature when dealing with your ex because it will definitely help when it comes to handling him and his new lover.
9 Fight The Urge To Facebook Stalk
For whatever reason, the minute we find out that an ex has potentially begun dating someone new, the first thing we all do is go online and attempt to stalk their every move. Of course, it might hurt us, but we’re so easily drawn in by the urge to know everything we possibly can about his new GF… like what her name is, what she looks like, and what the hell’s doing with your leftovers. Everyone knows that it’s bad news to start social media stalking your ex and his new girl, but it can be incredibly hard to resist the temptation when all of the information is so easily accessible. Take it from us, as much as you think you want to know more about what your ex has been up to, you definitely don’t. Seeing him looking positively smitten in a photo with someone new in his arms is enough ammunition to make you want to crawl into bed and never want to leave, so why put yourself through that kind of torture? If you want to make handling your ex and his new bae as easy as it possibly can be, your best bet is to stay out of stalker mode.
8 Keep Yourself Busy
If you’re still not quite over your ex, it can be pretty easy to fall into a bad habit of dwelling on the past, which is why it’s super important to keep yourself occupied and engaged in other things. Keeping your schedule booked to the max with relaxing activities and exciting adventures could be just what you need to finally break free from whatever depressing spell seeing your ex happy has you under. Instead of staying home under the covers and groveling in your own misery, take a step in the right direction by breaking out of your comfort zone and trying things that will take your mind off of your ex and his new bae. Try breaking a sweat by going for a run, signing up for a Zumba class, or even drawing if that’s what helps you find your zen. When it comes to finding hobbies that will relax you (and in some cases, excite you), there are a seemingly endless amount. Enlist the help of a few girlfriends and turn it into a fun group thing, and soon enough you won’t be giving what’s-his-face a second thought.
7 Limit Your Interaction With Them
At first, you assumed that remaining friends with your ex would be a breeze… until he took it upon himself to start dating again and every emotion you ever had for him came rushing back all at once. In an ideal world, men and women could just push their feelings aside and just get along even after they break up, but let’s be honest, it’s just not realistic. Seeing your ex-boyfriend holding hands and acting all lovey-dovey with someone who’s not you can be devastating, and if you want to successfully survive in a world where your ex has moved on before you have, you might want to consider limiting your interaction with him and his new partner all together. Of course, there are some instances where no matter how much you want to, you just won’t be able to escape them (annnnd, that’s why inter-office relationships should be avoided), but remember that if they are out of sight, they are much more likely to be out of mind, too. Until you’re fully ready to accept that your ex has a new woman in his life, it’s probably best that you don’t spend too much time around the new happy couple.
6 Tell Yourself He’s Irrelevant
You're definitely not together anymore, so why should anything he does have any bearing on your life? The fact of the matter is, your ex is totally irrelevant and he should not have an impact on your emotions the way he used to. Of course, you can’t help how you feel when you see your ex and his new bae together, but deep down you know that you don’t really have a right to be upset. Your relationship came to an end and he decided that he was ready to start dating again. He didn’t do anything wrong and it’s not like he cheated, so what gives? It’s completely normal to feel apprehensive about your ex moving on before you’re ready to do the same, but you should know that nothing he does will have an impact on you because you aren’t a couple anymore. The moment you decided to break up was the moment he was free to do whatever he wants, and at some point, you’ll probably be glad you ended things. But until you reach that point, just keep telling yourself that because he’s your ex, what he does just doesn’t matter anymore.
5 Avoid The Rebound
You’ve seen him flaunting his relationship with his new boo all over town, and frankly, you’re totally repulsed at the thought of them as a couple. You might feel a wide range of emotions from sadness to anger to everything in between. The sight of him with someone else might make you want to run into his arms and win him back, and it also might make you want to seek revenge in the form of shacking up with the next available man you see. While dealing with your ex’s ability to easily move on as if you and him never happened can be stressful, it’s important not to convince yourself that immediately finding a new guy will soften the blow. A new guy might serve as a welcome distraction from reality for a little while, but throwing yourself into a romantic rendezvous with someone else before you’re ready is like trying to avoid a huge elephant in the room – it just doesn’t work. Finding yourself in a temporary rebound relationship will only confuse you and could ultimately leave you feeling even more bothered by your ex’s bountiful love life. Do yourself a favor and don’t rush when it comes to re-entering the dating scene out of spite and avoid rebounding at all costs.
4 Try To Be Happy For Him
3 Take A Time Out
Sometimes when the stress of seeing your ex with someone new is just too much to handle it’s best to take a step back and literally give yourself a time out. There’s no doubt that worrying about the state of your ex’s love life can take a toll on your well-being, and taking a break from everything could be just what the doctor ordered. Book yourself a relaxing day at the spa or take a few of your best friends on a spur of the moment girls only getaway. Do whatever it takes to remove yourself from a super draining situation, even if that means going on a mini-vacation to give yourself a much needed restart on reality. While nothing will really change and your ex will still be with his new bae whether you like it or not, taking a few moments to de-stress will ultimately help you sort through everything that your old flame throws your way. Trust us, if you could handle dating him in the first place, then you can definitely handle seeing him with someone new.
2 Let It All Out
Nobody wants to see their ex-boyfriend act overly happy and super affectionate with his new bae, and the thought alone is enough to make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. You can only bottle up your true feelings for so long before it feels like you’re going to explode, so don’t be afraid to let it all out when the time is right. Whether you choose to listen to your breakup playlist and have a long, hard cry, or you let your anger out on a punching bag, it’s super liberating to finally release everything that has been bothering you. Perhaps seeing your ex-man with a new boo was the final straw that pushed you over the edge, but just know it’s totally healthy to let it all hang out when need be. Once you scream and cry it out, there’s a good chance you’ll feel a whole lot better, and you’ll have a much easier time seeing your ex dating someone else.
1 Shake It Off
You’ve already been through the emotional ups and downs of a breakup, and now that your ex has found someone new, now you can realize that things between you and him really are over for good. Of course, the initial shock of seeing your ex with a new girl can cut deep, but after a while, it can give you the closure you need to finally move on as well. Soon seeing your ex with his new bae won’t even faze you at all and you will be able to easily shake off whatever harsh feelings you had about his new relationship. Most people have been in a similar situation when it comes to their ex and their new lady loves, and if they haven’t yet, the odds are super high that they eventually will. It’s never easy trying to process how you feel seeing your ex with someone new, but at some point whatever worries you had about him and her will just fade away. Little by little, what he does will become less important to you and you will be able to brush it off like it’s no big deal.