Those moments leading up to a date can be full of worries, anxieties and second-guesses. You’ve either been looking forward to it all week or dreading it. Regardless of how you feel about your potential suitor, there’s no reason you shouldn’t look and feel hot AF. Even if it’s a pity-date, you can still put your best foot forward — who knows what will happen. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but, hotness is a state of mind. Everyone is totally picking up on those subtle “don’t look at me I’m hideous” vibes you’re giving off when you don’t feel your best. It’s anything but hot. It’s all about how you feel, everyone knows that. Get in the right mindset before your date and let your true, hot as hell self shine through. You’re not putting on an act or faking it. You’re showing who you truly are and I promise; your date will be super impressed.
Saying affirmations to yourself seems a little…weird. The thing is, though — you don’t have to say them out loud for them to have an effect. Writing them down or saying them to yourself in your head will make you feel totally hot in a matter of minutes, I swear. New research from Carnegie Mellon University “provides the first evidence that self-affirmation can protect against the damaging effects of stress on problem-solving performance”. You just might need that problem-solving performance if your date heads south. Saying things like “I am beautiful”, “I am hot”, “I am desirable” etc…will get you in the right headspace before your meet up. After saying these affirmations either in your head or out loud, your brain will start to believe them for real. You will feel this new found confidence. It’s all a trick of the mind. Nifty! Now you’re ready to take on whatever comes your way tonight.
14 Dance Around
Everyone does this. I don’t care what you say. You have definitely blasted music and danced around your room a la Emma Stone in Easy A — don’t lie to me. Notice how you feel after one of these jam sessions. Do you feel alive? Excited? Carefree? That’s the idea. Not only does moving around get your blood pumping, it gets you in a natural flow state; connecting your body and mind. In a recent study, participants who incorporated aerobic training once a week maximized his or her brain function. Intriguing to say the least. You don’t need to be a professional dancer to reap the rewards of creative movement. Just throw on your favorite track and start grooving! Pick a song that represents who you want to be on this date. If you want all the confidence Beyonce evokes, get down to some “Crazy in Love” or “Freakum Dress”. Music can be so inspiring and can change your mindset the second you hit play.
13 Buy Yourself a Treat
This tip is super fun. Buying yourself a little treat can increase your self-love by a mile. Think about all the times you bought your significant other a cupcake or a flower or some kind of cute little gift. Well…now is the time to treat yourself. When you’re buying your gift, it’s important to come from that love place. Don’t buy it because you feel you have to and try not to think about money. It should be something you’ve been wanting or craving for a while as well as something you thoroughly believe you deserve. It could be as over-the-top as a new pair of pumps or something as simple as a chocolate bar. When you purchase the gift, it should feel exciting, like Christmas morning. Don’t worry about wasting money; what’s more important than showing yourself some love? Take this feeling of self-love and deserving into your date — you’ll definitely feel the difference.
12 Wear Cute Underwear
Even if you have no plans for any “after-date-fun” and have already decided you’re closed for business tonight, it doesn’t mean you should wear your granny panties. Putting on some slinky lingerie will make you feel like a million bucks and will be a thrilling little secret that only you know about. Be sure to pick something that is comfortable, though, you don’t want to be picking at your wedgie all night. Go with something silky and soft and be sure to walk around in front of your mirror before putting your clothes on. The site of yourself in racy underwear will make you feel super hot. A great option would be a silk thong with a matching lace bra. How hot is that!? You may be wearing a conservative outfit on the outside, but on the inside, you are a wildly passionate woman. You know you’re totally hot and that’s all that matters.
11 Alone Fun
Yes, this one is a little risqué, but consider this epic quote by Hannah from the HBO show Girls. In the quote, she talks about self-pleasure and the importance of it before a date that way you refrain from jumping too quickly into activities you wish you would have held out on. She’s got a good point. Let’s stop pretending that women don’t engage in this sort of thing because we do — and the proof is now everywhere. If you’re feeling a little stressed about your date, give yourself the opportunity to let go and forget about what might happen later by getting a little cozy with some alone time fun. See how much more relaxed you feel now? Self-pleasuring has been proven to boost self-esteem, improve body image, increase the ability to reach the finish line, reduce stress and release tension in the body. You’ll feel calm, yet at the same time charged up and ready to interact with the world.
10 Hang With Friends
There’s a famous proverb that reads “You are the company you keep”. That couldn’t be more true. When you are with people you love, trust and feel comfortable with, you feel alive. You feel free to be you. This is the reason why having friends over or hanging out with your loved ones can be a great confidence boost before meeting up with your date. Researchers of a new study at Brigham Young University have found that people with strong social relationships live 50 percent longer. Wow, that’s quite a statistic. Socializing can help to lower stress and evoke a feeling of belonging. A very nice feeling to have when on a date with someone. Invite your girlfriends over, but don’t talk about the date the whole time; it might make you a little wound up and nervous. Keep it light and fun and try to get in the moment with your buddies. When it comes time to meet up with your date, you will take that fun, carefree energy with you.
9 Dress Up
You know what they always say — clothes make the woman. Dressing for a date can be stressful as hell. You want to look good, but not like you tried too hard. Fashion Expert Louise Roe says: “A date outfit needs to be a fine balance between sexy and comfortable”. Make sure your body actually feels good in the outfit. You shouldn’t look visibly uncomfortable or fidgeting with your hemline. Pick one part of your body to showcase. If you love your legs, wear a short skirt but keep your neck high. Makes sense? Wearing a special outfit that channels your rockstar confidence is all that really matters at the end of the day. Try on a bunch of different outfits but not in a stressful “oh my god I have nothing to wear” way, keep it in the “Ooooh, this makes my body look amazing” realm. Even if you know you won’t be wearing that red halter dress later, just seeing yourself in it will boost your confidence.
8 Take a Shot
Ain’t nothing wrong with a little shot of courage before your hot date. Pour yourself a glass of wine or mix yourself a drink while you get ready. Just the knowledge that you had a little alcohol is enough to shoot your hot factor into the oblivion. A recent study showed that even just thinking you drank alcohol is enough to boost your confidence. Remember that episode of Freaks and Geeks where they switched the actual beer with non-alcoholic beer and the kids still got “drunk”? This is actually a real thing. Don’t think you need to down three shots to feel loose and confident on your date. Showing up drunk is super unattractive and will unravel all the hotness you have built up for yourself. Sip on your wine and enjoy the light sedative feeling going through your body. Remember, there’s no shame in the alcohol game — your date is probably doing it too.
Meditation is a great way to truly calm the mind, body, and spirit. Meditation is the act of thinking about nothing. Try to remember a moment such as admiring that little chickadee on the tree branch by your window. You were in a present state of just admiring the bird. Now take that focus and stretch it out, that’s meditation. Some classic ways to meditate is to focus on your breath (instead of focusing on the bird). You can also do a body scan and focus on each body part for a few minutes. My favorite way to get zen, though, is binaural beats. When listened through stereo headphones, binaural beats can calm your brain by pumping two different sound frequencies into your ears and thus creating a binaural beat which is between 8 and 13 HZ. Lay back and plug in some binaural beats and focus on just your breath. When you’re done, you will feel super focused, calm, and confident!
What in the world are hydrosols? Hydrosols — also called floral waters — can evoke feelings of self-love, confidence, and hotness. You can find hydrosols at the health food store in many different scents such as lavender, rose, chamomile, and jasmine. Think of hydrosols as a perfume that not only makes you smell great but makes you feel great as well. Did you know that floral hydrosols are actually the leftover liquid from the essential oil extraction process? They have the same healing benefits as essential oils do. Scents such as Lavender have been proven to be just as effective as Lorazepam. You know, that drug that people take when they’re freaking out on the plane? Just like essential oils, using hydrosols can have a real effect on your emotions and mood. Before your date, spritz on some rosewater and breathe in the refreshing scent and feel the tingles that follow. Not only will you smell like a queen, you will feel like one too.
5 Go for a Run
We all know that exercise equals endorphins which equals happy which equals confident. Before your date, go for a little run around the block. It will get your blood pumping and those feel good chemicals will be slowly creeping their way into your brain. Plus the sunshine will make you feel all optimistic and stuff. Shower of course when you get back home; you will feel way more refreshed and ready to go than if you didn’t take the trek. You could also lift some weights or do a quick workout video. Studies have shown that just a 20-minute workout can increase long-term memory in young adults by 10 percent. I’m liking those figures. So we know for a fact that exercise is good for the brain, and whatever is good for the brain; is good for confidence. Exercising makes you feel alive and just 20 minutes before your date can change the whole game.
4 Write Down your strong points
This is a great exercise to put you in the right headspace for a date. Crack open your journal and write down a list of all the reasons people should love you. Whether it’s a physical attribute or something that has to do with your personality, it will work. Write down at least twenty things and try not to think too hard about it, it should be things that just pop into your mind. Maybe it’s the fact that you would never cheat on someone, or maybe you have lovely long legs, or maybe you are very open-minded. It could be anything, as long as it’s positive and has to do with your appearance or personality. When you’re finished, read through all the points you’ve made about your lovely self and feel proud of who you are. You will start to feel pretty damn good about yourself for the rest of the day.
3 Change your hair
They say that change is good. Why not start with your hair? Hair can completely change the way you look and feel. Don’t try something totally new that you’ve never tried before because you might be left with a bad hair day which is the last thing you need on a date. Try a hairstyle you might have done before that makes you feel confident and hot. Even if it takes a whole hour to complete, you’re not doing it for them; you’re doing it for yourself. Why not try straightening your hair if you usually wear it curly or how about a sleek, pulled back ponytail look? Browse websites like Pinterest or scroll down Instagram for some inspiration. Once you’ve found a hairstyle that will suit your hair type, get to work! It’s amazing what a new hairstyle can do for your self-esteem. You’ll feel super hot and ready to take on the town.
2 Walk Tall
When you’re all dressed and ready to go, why not practice your confident strut down the hallway? “Researchers found that people who were told to sit up straight were more likely to believe thoughts they wrote down while in that posture concerning whether they were qualified for a job.” So sitting or standing up straight makes you think you’re awesome? Ok, this one is a must. The key to good posture while walking is relaxation and body awareness. Try walking towards a mirror and really notice what you look like. Do you look like a fabulous supermodel or a little old lady? Roll your shoulders back and raise your chin so you’re not looking down, but straight ahead. Lead with your heart. I mean literally and metaphorically here. Who knew that just a simple lift in your posture can change the way you are perceived by both yourself and others.
When you’ve had a bad morning, slicking on some lipstick can make everything better. It’s like the finishing touch to your makeup routine. Louise Roe says that “red lippy gets messy” and advises against it on a date — just in case you kiss. I agree somewhat, but lipstick makes you feel so hot, doesn’t it? Classic tomato red lipstick might be a little too much and honestly kind of cliche for a date; but an off red, mauve or coral-ly pink could be an unexpected flirty move your suitor will really appreciate. Did you know that “in a 2011 study by Procter & Gamble, researchers from Harvard and Boston University found that women felt more confident while wearing makeup, which included lipstick”. That is not surprising in the least. The act of applying lipstick is empowering and when you pick the right color it can even complete your outfit. Swipe on the lippy and feel the hotness rise within you.