Everybody hates liars! Whether its your boyfriend, or your best friend, liars are shady and need to be called out. Because once you catch someone lying, you will always question whether the information they tell you is true. You know that they are skilled in what they do. That they can be great at the art of deception, but that can get old really quick. Even if you don't have the guts to call out the liar in your life, it is a good idea to be aware of some signs liars give off. That way you can protect yourself from being their victim once again. It's a great way to shut them down before they even get started spewing from the mouth. You don't need to be told lies, you don't have time for that. And best of all, after reading this you will know how to tell if someone is lying right to your face. Save yourself the trouble and check out these tips to oust the chronic liars in your life. You don't have to be an expert lie detector to figure out some of the most obvious signs someone is lying. Fortunately, many experts have spilled their secrets so liars beware!
J.J. Newberry, a trained federal agent for 30 years, warns women looking for liars, to spot inconsistency."When you want to know if someone is lying, look for inconsistencies in what they are saying". If something they say is illogical or just doesn't fit, beware! They are probably lying. If you have a liar in your life, you have probably recognized this happening already. Usually we just don't want to believe it. Sometimes they will say things that just don't make sense, they just don't expect anyone to catch them. You can stop them in their tracks by saying "hmm, that doesn't make sense". If they are smart they will drop the act. Most liars won't fess up at this point but they should, at a minimum, let it go. If they just keep pressing on with a lie, you may have a big problem on your hands.
14 Ask Unexpected Questions
This won't make your liar BF happy, but who cares. The best way to catch them at their own game is to pop an unexpected question they can't be prepared for. Liars tend to rehearse their story, so any questions at all may trip them up. They expect folks to just go along with what they are saying, and for most of them this has always worked. Not anymore! We are on to you fools. Even questions unrelated to the lie can trip them up and cause them to lose their cool. Remember, your liar may seem fine but they are working calm to keep their stories straight and maintain a calm exterior. If you think someone is lying about a place they've been, choose a random person and ask if they were there. The great part about this technique is that it won't put you in the awkward position of having to accuse someone outright.
13 Watch Their Emotions
Pay attention to how your man looks when he is happy and discussing an everyday issue you know is truthful. That is your baseline. Remember that when you suspect he is being dishonest. Our faces reveal everything about us. They are a great indicator of our intentions. Faking a smile is tough even for liars. It often seems a little off. Perhaps the timing will be wrong or they will hold it too long. A fake smile is usually smaller than a sincere one. If you spy false emotions, there is a level of deceit in whatever they are saying. Be on the lookout for nostril flaring. Happy, smiley, people don't do it. This is a sign of hostility. Be especially wearing if you notice it during your unexpected questioning. Asymmetry is a red flag. Genuine facial expressions will always be symmetrical. A half smile is probably indicative of a lie.
12 Listen To Your Gut
Most of us recall a time when we felt our women's intuition kick in. Perhaps that's what it was, but it could be that our brain picked up on all the cues that liars give off. You may not always recognize what you are seeing, but something inside of you knows things are off. Always pay attention to these feelings. Explore them, don't discount them. What reason does your heart have to throw you off? It's just like hearing Mark Zuckerburg talk about privacy. You know something just isn't right. Believe yourself. Don't insist on giving a liar too much benefit of the doubt. You know better! Most liars are telling you things you want to hear. We want to be loved, so we ignore the fact that he is wearing a wedding ring or has an obvious tan line on that finger. Stop being naive.
Paul Ekman is a world-renowned lie detector expert and he loves using microexpressions to discover a deceiver."A microexpression is a very brief expression, usually about a 25th of a second, that is always a concealed emotion." This might mean a person is acting one way, but a flash of the opposite emotion appears for just a second. In order to notice it, you must be paying close attention. A really good liar may try to turn around or conceal their face a bit with a drink or their hand. They probably have the ability to neutralize them, even if it's subconscious. It is especially hard to conceal the involuntary eye movements that accompany different expressions. It's fairly common for a good liar to show a hint of delight when they are getting away with a lie. Be on guard for this because it will happen in a blink.
10 Be Aware Of Contradictions
"The general rule is anything that a person does with their voice or their gesture that doesn't fit the words they are saying can indicate a lie," says Ekman. If an angry person flashes a smile, or vice versa, it's a lie! Eckman says that sometimes a liar will literally be saying "yes" and slightly nod no. It's all about paying close attention.These contradictions, explains Ekman, can be between the voice and the words, the gesture and the voice, the gesture and the words, or the face and the words. If any part of their demeanor contradicts what they are saying or doing, it's a lie. The most common example is faking a smile. He didn't make it to your party because he ran out of gas, but for a moment you thought you saw a smile. Red Flag!
9 Too Much Eye Contact
This can mean holding eye contact for too long, or simply making eye contact when it's not something they normally do. This level of lie detection really works best on someone you know fairly well. It is often said that liars won't make eye contact. That is a myth. Liars hear people say this too, so they adjust. Often, in an attempt to appear more truthful, they are to aggressive with eye contact. This tends to force the more truthful person to break eye contact first. It wouldn't be smart to accuse someone of lying based on eye contact alone. This detection method can really go either way and should be used in conjunction with some of the other methods mentioned. Be smart and combine tactics. Saying "look me in the eyes" is really pointless and won't get you very far.
8 Too Much Detail
It's very common for liars to give up way to much detail. They may go overboard on descriptions. Who was there, what they did, what they ate, etc etc. This is a great time to employ the unexpected question tactic. If they say they went to the store, but proceed to give you an itemized list of what they bought and how many coupons they used, this is a red flag! This shows they have rehearsed and put too much thought into a story that a normal person would tell very simply. Liars will often use qualifying language to validate themselves. They may say " to tell you the truth" or something similar. They also tend to gravitate toward formal language. This is a bit awkward for a boyfriend or best friend whom you are close and casual with. They drop contractions like, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman". Mmmmm hmmmm
7 Turning Away
People who aren't telling the truth often show signs of discomfort. This can include turning away, or even walking away to go to the bathroom etc. This may show up in fidgeting or self-grooming habits like picking at nails etc. Liars love any opportunity to distract, so they may be quick to address someone new that walks into the room. Clearing their throat and pretending to need a drink of water are other ways they may show they are uncomfortable. One notorious sign is mouth covering. You can't tell exactly what they said and they love that. It gives them a chance to treat you as if you misunderstood. If you ask them to repeat they may love that too because it gives them opportunity to double check or change their answers if they need to. Watch out for arm and leg crossings , which are other signs of discomfort.
6 Rapid Blinking
Rapid blinking is one way a liar may try to shut you out. You will notice this especially when you press on asking questions, or if they suspect you are on to their games. Blinking, for everyone, is correlated to the amount of stress we are under. A liar undergoing an interrogation is under a tremendous about of mental stress. In a typical convo, you will find yourself blinking at the same rate as the person you are speaking with. Blinking will also occur at intervals when there is a lapse in speech. Anytime blinking is not in sync or erratic, be suspect. Pay attention to their pupils too! Dilated pupils go hand in hand with a frantically blinking liar. Large pupils are a sign that your brain is working hard. You also need to blink more when your pupils are dilated.
5 Stuttering And Hesitation
This doesn't apply if the liar you are involved with is an actor, but for normal folks these quirks will go hand in hand with deceit. Sometimes it is calculated. Liars need to fill up the time with meaningless convo and they can only change the subject so much without igniting suspicion. Some of it is unconscious because their brain is telling them that they shouldn't be doing this. They are worried that you may ask questions, so do it. If they are stuttering and hesitating, you may be close to a break through! They will start adding in long pauses and hesitating more and more. This is where you may see a bit of emotional behavior, if they have any. Some liars just don't care and may be able to hold out indefinitely. Few will completely break down and admit they have been fooling you, so what you may see at this point is a complete breakaway. Either they leave, take a phone call, or employ some other drastic method to get away from you.
4 Getting Defensive
While an honest person will always try to proclaim their innocence, a liar will quickly go on the defensive. They don't like to use the pronoun "I". Instead they may insert "we" and try to link you or others in to whatever problem they have encountered. Liars prefer to shift all blame and accountability to other people . They will typically exaggerate using words like "always" "never", and "nobody". They will start to enunciate clearly and elaborate in an attempt to convince you they are right. They may begin to speak quickly if they feel threatened and may even start to attack you personally on unrelated issues. Watch out for put-down language like "actually" and "as a matter of fact". These phrases indicate they know more than you and are designed to intimidate.
3 Placing Objects Between You
The body language of a liar can get really exhausting and out of control once you are aware. You will be kicking yourself for not picking up on it sooner. They tend to hold things in front of themselves. For women, this tends to be a purse or handbag. Men are more likely to use books or large beverages. They may also separate themselves from you with furniture. No, they won't start moving tables around, but they may sit opposite from you instead of choosing to sit beside you. Pay close attention to this if it is not their norm. Liars may also open up a computer or sit behind a desk. If there is an animal handy, you may find them allowing it on their lap when typically they would not. If your man is allergic to cats and has suddenly scooped up Garfield mid convo, this is a RED FLAG!
2 Face Touching
Liars may scratch their nose, touch their ear, or brush imaginary hair out of their faces. Mouth touching is a common one. They may cover it, pick at lips and teeth, or just hold their hand near it. Liars may also clamp their mouth shut. These are all telltale signs of dishonesty. Typically, you know they are lying if you are watching for these signs, but these are the types of behaviors that tipped you off subconsciously in the first place. Psychological research shows that liars will always exhibit some of these signals. Liars have to hold two conflicting ideas in their minds, suppressing the one that is true. Because their mind is so busy, they exert physical manifestations to express the stress. Only about 4% of people are such accomplished liars that they can avoid physical behaviors like this.
1 Subject Changing
Sir Walter Scott put it best: "Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" Be careful when trying to catch a liar that you don't become just like them. That said, there is a great way to trick them at their own game. Change the subject. Liars love to change the subject themselves. A person in a true convo will be confused if you abruptly change the subject, but a liar is more than happy to follow your trail. They are thrilled that they have succeeded at fooling you and ready to get on with something new. You can even go back to the subject they were lying about, and switch again. A truthful person would think you are crazy for jumping around so much, but a liar will just keep falling for it. Well, they may think you are crazy too but they will still play along for their own benefit.