www.thetalko.com

15 Ways To Be A Better Version Of Yourself

You're awesome how you are, everyone knows that, including you. However, there are some aspects of either yourself or your life, that you'd like to work on. And by "work on," we don't necessarily mean change, we simply mean improve. That being said, it's not always easy. We all have demanding schedules. We all have people that rely on us. We all have responsibilities. However, it's time to make time to work on yourself. Why? Because if you don't, you'll never grow. Change is hard, but it's important. Think about it this way: When you were a child, you were constantly evolving because you had people supporting and encouraging you to do so. And as you got older and more independent, you stopped focusing so much on your growth and started focusing more on your growing responsibilities. Now, in adulthood, it's time to revert back to the same principles of your childhood. Read below to find our 15 ways to be a better version of yourself.

15 Listen To Your Wants And Needs

We all have the little voice in the back of our heads that tells us exactly what we want and need. And, we all spend hours trying to ignore that voice. Why? Because it's calling for change and change is scary. Well, it's time to stop ignoring that voice and start following it. Why? Because it's right. Be brave. All that little voice wants is for you to be as happy as you can be and in order for you to be happy, you have to do what it says. Make your wants and needs important, not annoying. If your little voice isn't constantly yelling at you, take some time on your own to reflect. Ask yourself simple questions. For example: Do I like my job? Am I happy in my relationship? Do I feel good about my day to day life? Then (and this is the hardest part) be honest with yourself in your answers. Stop trying to convince yourself of things that aren't true. If you aren't happy, it's important that you know that so you can start finding true happiness.

14 Make Changes

So, you've reflected and/or listened to that little voice in your head. And now that you know your answers, it's time to do something about them. For example, if you're not happy at your job, take some time and either find a new one or decide how you can be happier in the workplace. If you're in an unhappy relationship, talk to your partner and decide what's best for the two of you. If you're overwhelmed with your day to day activities, how can you lighten your load? The only person that's able to make you happier is yourself and obviously, if you're not happy, you need to make some changes in order to be. As we said before, we know change is scary. However,  it's really extremely important as it's the only way things will get better for you. At the end of the day, no matter how hard it is, you'll be glad you made the changes you made.

13 Ask For Help

Are you someone who takes on every single task that's thrown at them? If so, it's time to intervene with yourself. We know: You want to make everyone happy. But really, you can't, especially if you spread yourself too thin. After all, there's only one of you. How could you possibly make so many people happy? The next time you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help. For example, if you have a lot of work piling up at the office, talk to your boss or a co-worker to see if there's some way you could lighten your load. If the household chores are piling up, hire a cleaner if you can afford it. Or, if you can't, ask your children or your husband for assistance. Don't be afraid to call on those closest to you whenever you need them. Chances are, they'd be more than happy to help. You're not a burden. The only thing you have to do is ask.

12 Be Selfish

Putting yourself last is an easy pattern to fall into. If you're in a relationship, chances are, you put your partner's happiness before yours. If you have a controlling boss, you may spend your days trying to impress them. If you have children, you may constantly be worrying about what they're doing or their wellbeing. And while all of that is great, it's time to start putting yourself first. Take time every day (even if only fifteen minutes) to do something for you- and only you. For example, you could read, take a short nap, or journal. And while we say "be selfish," doing this is not actually selfish, it's healthy. It's important that you get in touch with your emotions and your own personal wellbeing. In fact, studies show that people make the time in their lives for alone time tend to be better partners, parents, and employees.

11 Push Yourself

We all get into routines. You get home from work and all you want to do is relax on the couch and turn on your favorite movie. You do this night after night. Why? Because it's comfortable. But really, does it add anything to your life? We all know the answer to that one. Next time you're invited to join friends, push yourself to get off the couch and go meet up with them. Even if you're tired, you'll be happier you spent time socializing and catching up with people you care about. If you've always wanted to do something- like run a marathon or take pottery classes- now is the time. Don't wait for the opportunity to present itself, make it happen yourself. Push yourself to do the things that you want to do, even if it's 'easier' or 'safer' not to.

10 Invite Failure

If you never fail, you never learn. And yes, we know: Failure is scary. Therefore, when we face difficult talks, we tend to turn away from them or avoid them. Why? Because if we do fail, we don't want to be disappointed in ourselves or have to face the disappointment of others. However, it's time to change your mentality surrounding failure. Next time you're faced with a daunting task, take it on with confidence. Know that if you fail, it's not the end of the world. In fact, you'll be better off because you'll have learned something in the process. And, if you don't fail, you'll be rewarded with the satisfaction that comes along with completing a difficult task. Have faith in yourself. We know- it's not easy. But, it gets easier and easier the more you do it. Growth comes out of struggle and if you're not growing, you become stagnant.

9 Hold Yourself To High Standards

We're human beings. It's easy to get lazy. Say you have a big project due at work on Friday that you've been putting off for a month now. At this point, you think it's too late to complete the project to the best of your ability as you've pretty much run out of time. So, what do you do? You say, "eh, I'll get it done as fast as I can and do much better on the next one." Basically, you call it in and submit halfway decent work- work that doesn't make you or your bosses proud. Well, it's time to change that. Start holding yourself to high standards. Put your best foot forward in every situation. Make a promise to yourself that no matter how long it will take you, you're always going to do your best and you won't stop until you know you're satisfied with whatever it is you're trying to complete.

8 Forgive Yourself

I know, we just said that you should hold yourself to high standards- and you should. However, if you make a mistake, it's time to forgive yourself. For example, say you're super busy and you completely forgot about that project that's due on Friday. What do you do? You freak out and curse yourself for being so absent minded. We've got news for you, ladies: That doesn't help you complete the project. Give yourself a break. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself just as you would forgive one of your peers if they made a similar mistake and get to work. It's all right to let yourself off the hook. It doesn't mean you're a bad employee, it just means you messed up. Don't forget that you'll have plenty of chances in the future to prove your value to the company in the future.

7 Be A Good Friend

Friendship is one of the most important things in life. Our friends get us through all the hard times and are with us through all of the good times. We trust that they'll always be there. This is why, when life gets busy, it's easy to put our friendships on the back burner. We think, no matter what, that our friends will always be in our lives, even if we go months without talking to them. And, while that might be true, friendship takes work. Dedicate time every week to hang out with or reach out to your friends. Not only will it make your friends happier, but it will also make you happier. Go out of your way to do nice things for them. When we act selflessly, we feel good about ourselves and so do the people we do things for. Keep the bonds in your friendships strong so that you know you'll always have a support system whenever life gets crazy.

6 Treat Yourself

Whether you're a workaholic, a busy mom, or an overwhelmed student, it's important to take the time to treat yourself. I know, we said taking alone time every day is beneficial- and it is- but that's not exactly "treating yourself." By treating yourself, we mean, go on a vacation, visit a spa, or maybe just vamp up your wardrobe. Go out on a limb and do something you wouldn't normally do for yourself. It doesn't have to be for any reason- it's just because you want to do it. And why shouldn't you? You deserve it. You'll feel better afterward. Why? Because when you take care of yourself, it helps you to love yourself. Think about it: When you buy a shirt for someone else, you're showing that you care for them. Why not do it for yourself?  When you give love to yourself, it will make you happy too.

5 Cleanse Your Mind

Take some time- either before you go to bed or during your lunch break- and write down all of your worries or fears. Don't judge what you write down, just be honest. Your fears and worries don't have to be rational or significant. For example, they could be as simple as "I'm worried I'll never lose that last five pounds I want to lose," or as big as, "I'm scared that I'm going to lose my home." Even if they don't make sense, it doesn't matter. Simply getting them out on paper will help relieve them from your mind. Once you've written them down, read over them and see if there are ways you can dissolve them. For example, you could write down a meal plan to help you lose those last five pounds. If you find many of them are irrational, writing them down and reading them aloud may help you realize they're not actually things you should let clog your mind.

4 Get Active

Exercise is one of the best ways to clear your mind. I know what you're thinking: You're already busy, there's no way you can find time to exercise. Well, everyone's busy. It's not an excuse to let your health slide down the drain. And, by health, we mean both mental and physical health. Not only is exercise beneficial to your body, but it's also beneficial to your mental health as well. Getting at least 30-45 minutes of exercise three times a week is proven to improve concentration levels, quality of sleep, and promote a positive mood. If you really can't find the time, make the time. Be creative. If your child has soccer practice and you normally sit in the car and wait for them to be done, bring your running shoes and get in a jog while they practice. If you live close to your local grocery store, walk instead of drive to do your weekly shopping. Remember, you don't have to train for a marathon, you just have to stay active.

3 Root Out The Negative

We all have negative parts of our lives. For example, we may have a friend that's constantly bringing us down. Well, it's time to separate yourself from that friend. Or, maybe we watch a reality TV show that's a guilty pleasure of ours but for some reason, after we watch it, we always feel aggravated or annoyed. Well, it's time to stop watching that show. If you find yourself arriving to work every morning with road rage because you got caught in traffic once again, it's time to start leaving for work earlier. Be attentive in your everyday life. Start noticing things that you do or things that happen to you that make you either stressed or put you in a bad mood. When you notice them, find a way that you can resolve whatever change happens to you when they occur. If you can't resolve the change, do your best to avoid the situations.

2 Choose The Positive

Just as we have negative, we all have positive things in our lives that make us feel good. For example, you love watching your son's football game on Sunday, or going on a jog before the sun rises a few times a week, or simply staying home on Friday nights to watch a movie alone. Whatever these positive things are, choose them over anything else. Make a point that you're not going to make any commitments on Sunday so that you can always see your son play. On the evenings before you run in the morning, get a good night's rest so you enjoy your run even more. Say "no" to working late on Friday's so you can actually relax and watch a movie alone. Life is short, we shouldn't waste time doing things that don't make us happy, especially when we know what does.

1 Remember Your Sense Of Humor

All right. Life gets crazy and sometimes, we feel as if there's no way we could survive one more hardship that it throws at us. And, whenever we feel this way- like we don't know up from down- the best thing to remember is your sense of humor. Everyone has one and even if you haven't been in touch with yours for a while, it's still there. In every situation, good or bad, always try to find the comedy. For example, you were late for a date because you couldn't find the perfect shirt to wear. Then, as you're rushing to get into the restaurant, bird poop lands right on your clean blouse. Normally, this sounds like a reason to freak out. However, from now on, you're going to remember your sense of humor. Why? Because this is comical. It's ironic and at the end of the day, it's hilarious. Stop stressing about things you can't change- start laughing instead.

More in Girl Talk