When you meet someone special for the first time, it can take a while to figure out where you actually stand. Maybe you’ve had fun texting, hanging out, and hooking up, but how do you decide whether or not this should be something more? Is this just going to be a fling...or is this something real? It can be hard to tell, especially when you really like someone. Sometimes your romantic feelings can get in the way of seeing who they really are, and you might waste time trying to turn a hook-up into a relationship when you should have just walked away.
There are a few major red flags that a guy isn’t worth committing to. It can be hard to let go of someone that gets your heart racing and gives you butterflies, but sometimes, it’s for the best. Here are 15 signs that he’s not worth your time.
15 He doesn’t answer your texts
In this day and age, it seems like every relationship starts to blossom over texting. Of course, not everyone is attached to their phone 24/7, but it’s natural to expect that if he’s interested in you, he’ll text you back. It’s nice when you can expect a “good night!” text before bed and a “good morning!” text when you wake up. So if you’re sitting around frustrated wondering why he never seems to text you back, it might be a sign that you should try to move on. You shouldn’t expect a guy to text you back right away every time, but if it seems like he’s always dragging his feet when it comes to answering you, it’s time to accept that he’s just not that interested in talking to you. It sounds harsh, but it’s for the best. If he never texts back, you might want to delete his number.
14 He won’t consider real commitment
So you’ve been “talking” for a while, hanging out every weekend, and enjoying each others’ company...or so it seems. Because even though you feel like things are going well, any time you bring up the “So, what are we?” question, he does everything in his power to avoid answering. Maybe he’s just not ready to call you his girlfriend because he wants to get to know you a little better, or maybe he has no intention of making you his girlfriend at all. It can be tough to tell the difference, but you need to pay attention and figure out if he’s just hanging out with you because he wants someone to hook up with or if he actually wants a relationship in the future. If you want to settle down, but he wants to keep things casual, you’re clearly not on the same page and trying to change his mind probably won’t work.
13 There’s no emotional connection
Hooking up is fun, but there is so much more to a relationship. Hanging out and going on dates is awesome, but a true connection goes beyond getting dinner and going to a movie. Can you stay up late having conversations about the meaning of life? Do you feel comfortable opening up to him about your deepest secrets? Do you trust him without a doubt? To be happy in a relationship, you need to develop a strong emotional connection that runs deeper than cute dates and exciting hook ups. If you want to commit to him, you need to ask yourself if that connection is really there. Maybe you just need to get to know each other better, or maybe he has no interest in getting to know you on that level. If that’s the case, you deserve so much better, and you need to find someone who wants that deep connection.
12 He doesn’t get along with your friends and family
Introducing a potential boyfriend to your friends and family is always a little bit nerve-wracking. What if they don’t get along? What if they think you have bad taste because you’re interested in him? It’s definitely scary! If it goes well, that’s always good news. But if it does go badly, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of your relationship. Your family and friends know you better than anyone, so you should pay attention to their judgment. Sure, maybe they’re being a little harsh or unfair if they decide they can’t stand him right off the bat...but maybe they just see something in him that you haven’t picked up on yet. Listen to what they have to say and really think about if he is the right guy for you? If they think you two are totally incompatible, you might actually be better off with someone else, so take their opinions into consideration.
11 He’s not interested in your hobbies
Sometimes, we end up dating people who are extremely different from us. It’s okay to have totally different hobbies and interests as long as the two of you share some of the same core values. But what if he doesn’t take any interest in your hobbies at all? That’s a huge red flag. Even if you’re both interested in different things, he should still support you as you pursue your passions. For example, maybe he’s not a huge sports fan, but you love soccer and have been playing since you were a little kid. Even if he doesn’t understand all the rules of the game, he should still come out to your games and cheer you on. It’s important that both of you support each other in your individual pursuits. If you’ve invited him to events that are important to you and he always declines, you have to wonder if he actually cares.
10 He brings down your self-esteem
Sometimes, finding self-confidence as a woman can feel like an uphill battle. Everywhere you look, there are magazines advertising how you can lose weight, look prettier, and change yourself to find a man. There are all kinds of unrealistic expectations out there that are impossible to live up to. Whoever you choose to date should lift you up every day, not bring you down. He should make you feel beautiful and confident, not insecure. However, some men just don’t respect women and will not treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. If he ever makes rude comments about your body, suggests that you should wear more makeup, or change something about your appearance, you should think very seriously about whether or not this is truly the person you want to be with. A guy should never make comments that lower your self-esteem and make you feel bad about yourself.
9 He makes comments about other girls
When you’re starting to think about committing to someone, it’s time to stop looking at other people. Sure, you’re always going to see people who you think are attractive, but there’s no need to say anything about it especially to your boyfriend. If you’ve reached a point where he’s the only guy you really think about and you want to make it official, you probably would never talk about another guy you thought was cute in front of him and he should do the same for you. If he makes comments about other girls that he finds attractive in front of you, it’s pretty disrespectful. He should understand that that kind of behavior is unacceptable. If you’ve reached a point where you want to put a label on it, but he’s still checking out other girls and has no problem telling you, you might want to rethink your situation and just back away.
8 He still goes on Tinder
Everyone knows that when you get into a relationship, you delete your Tinder account. And yet, there are still some guys out there who will keep the app on their phones even when they have girlfriends. They might make excuses like, “Oh, I honestly use it to make friends” but every girl should be able to see right through that. If you’ve been hanging out and talking for a while and he genuinely wants it to be something more, he should have already deleted Tinder off his phone. There is no good reason to be on Tinder unless you’re looking for an easy hook-up, there's nothing wrong with that if you’re single, but if you’re getting into a relationship, it’s pretty much against the rules. If you want things to be serious, but he just can’t resist swiping right on other girls, you need to stop wasting your time with him.
7 He’s always on his phone
We’re all addicted to our phones these days, but when you’re around someone special, you should be able to put it down and just enjoy each other’s company for a few hours. If he’s glued to his phone every time you guys hang out, it’s a warning sign that he actually doesn’t care too much about spending time with you. You should be able to have real conversations without looking down to scroll through Twitter every few minutes. Whatever is happening on social media isn’t as important as your relationship, and he should be able to understand that. So pay attention the next time the two of you hang out, is he constantly getting side tracked from conversations to answer texts or check his notifications? Even worse, does he seem nervous every time he checks it as if there’s something to hide? If he can’t put down his phone, you need to reevaluate if he’s worth it.
6 He blows off plans
Spending quality time together is the most important of any relationship. It’s what makes long distance relationships so hard. When you hang out and have a good time, you’re making memories and strengthening your bond. One of the most exciting parts of any relationship is trying new things together, whether you’re going on vacation or making a reservation at a cool new restaurant. Since quality time is super important, be wary of a guy who can never stick to a plan. If he seems super excited to hang out with you over the weekend on Monday, but he’s completely forgotten about it by Thursday, he clearly doesn’t see it as a very important. There’s no point in trying to make plans with someone who is just going to blow them off in the end. You deserve to be with someone who really cares about spending plenty of time with you.
5 He’s only interested in one thing
Hooking up is fun, and most of the time, it’s how relationships start these days. Having a physical connection is important, but there has to be something more. If that’s all he’s interested in, there’s no point in trying to go from “friends with benefits” to “boyfriend and girlfriend” it’s just never going to work out. Being in a real relationship with someone is so much more than just hooking up. If he’s just looking for something physical, you shouldn’t be in a relationship, because neither party will end up very happy with the situation. A physical connection is just one part of a relationship you need to be able to trust each other, to see a future together, to share your emotions, hopes, and dreams with each other. Lots of younger guys aren’t ready for this yet, and you can do so much better than wasting your time trying to get them to commit.
4 He judges your past
We’ve all done things that we aren’t proud of, after all, nobody is perfect. And nobody should expect you to be. If a guy expects you to have a squeaky clean past, his expectations are way too high. Any time you get into a relationship, you’ll have to accept some of your partner’s baggage. Everyone makes mistakes, and we shouldn’t judge each other for mistakes we’ve made in the past that we’ve clearly learned from. If a guy that you’re involved with holds your past against you, he’s probably not going to get over it. If he can’t accept you for who you are, you might need to just drop it. We can’t go back in time and change things, as much as we might want to all we can do is learn from our mistakes and hope that people will understand that we’ve grown from them. There’s no room for this kind of judgment in a relationship.
3 He doesn’t make you a priority
Everyone has different priorities because we all value different things. But certain things should always be prioritized, for example, close friends and family. One of the most important things to think about before getting into a relationship with someone is whether or not they’ve made you a priority. If you really need their help, will they come running? If you want them to come along with you to something that’s really important to you, can you depend on them to be there? Or do they blow you off, ignore your texts and calls, and nearly always choose other people over you? If you answer yes to any of those negative questions, your decision should be clear you need to find someone better. When you’re in a relationship, the person you are dating should definitely be one of your top priorities no matter what, and if he wouldn’t say that about you, it’s time to end it.
2 He breaks promises
One of the most important aspects of any relationship is trust. If you can’t really trust someone, how can you be friends with them, let alone date them? Trust is truly the foundation of any successful relationship, and if you lose it, it’s nearly impossible to get it back. You shouldn’t call someone your boyfriend if you haven’t established that you can trust him first. So before you bring up the idea of putting on a label on what you have, sit down and really think: can you trust him? When you open up to him and tell him things about yourself that you usually keep hidden, does he accept it, or does he judge you for it? When he promises that he’s not talking to any exes or other girls, do you know that you can believe him? If you find yourself doubting him, calling him your boyfriend might be a mistake.
1 He can’t keep your business private
Your relationship doesn’t have to be everyone else’s business. Certain things should stay between the two of you. If you’ve been getting involved with a guy and you find out that he’s been sharing private things with his friends behind your back, you need to think about whether or not he’s in it for the right reasons. Does he actually like you and care about you? Or does he just see you as arm candy and want someone to hook up to impress other people? When you’re in a relationship, you should be in it for the right reasons. It’s not about being with someone just for the sake of being with someone. You should just be happy to be together. If he couldn’t brag about it to anyone, would he still want to be with you? The intimate details of your relationship shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own.