In the grand scheme of things, Tinder is still the new kid on the block when it comes to apps, yet it’s definitely the millennial app of choice. Why is it so desirable? You can swipe left and right, of course, and weed out users. Since you can only communicate with someone if there's a mutual attraction, that's definitely a huge time-saver. But that's not always an effective way to weed out undesirable prospects, as you've probably found out the hard way. Looks can only tell you so much about a person. It's hard to tell whether you’ll be compatible by looking at a guy's profile photo. The best way to vet your matches is by observing the subtle nuances of his personality that can only be revealed through conversations. In my time on the dating app, I’ve come across a plethora of characters, young and old, and found that—on average— there are 15 distinct guys that you’ll meet on the site.
15 The Netflix And Chiller
It’s common knowledge that most guys on Tinder are looking for action in some form or fashion, whether immediately or later on down the road. But most have enough tact to at least pretend that they have motivations other than hooking up. They know that women want to be courted and feel special before jumping into bed, so they engage in meaningless conversation until you get comfortable enough with them. Some men, however, completely skip over that stage. If the first message that a guy sends you is asking about your top size or the like, he's definitely only looking for a one night stand--which is fine if hooking up is also your goal. After all, a lot of people use Tinder for one night stands, but if you're looking for something more serious you should steer clear of this guy. He will probably never give you the commitment that you desire.
14 The Ghoster
He’s one of the most interesting men that you’ve ever met. He’s a great conversationalist and you share a lot of common interests. You text for hours on end about everything from your favorite music to the Presidential election. Then, all of a sudden, he stops messaging you. Days go by without any contact, so you swallow your pride and send him a few messages. But, still, he's totally silent. You know that he hasn’t dropped off of the face of the planet because his profile says “active 5 minutes ago.” In this case, unless you know that you did something that warranted being ghosted, don’t torture yourself trying to figure out what went wrong. It’s probably not even about you -- he just doesn't know how to break things off like an adult. Some men (and women for that matter) are never taught how to let a person down easy. So chalk it up to his immaturity and be grateful that he showed you his true colors sooner rather than later.
13 The Catfisher
He's only got one photo attached to his profile and, by the look of his clothes, it was taken at least ten years ago. When you request more photos, he always has an excuse handy about not being able to give you that. He claims that his phone is broken (despite the fact that he’s accessing a mobile app on a mobile phone) or that it isn’t equipped to take photos. Stay away. These are the telltale signs that you are being catfished. Thanks to technology, there are endless ways of taking and sharing photos and anyone who wants to be seen will make themselves available. The fact that he won't comply with your very reasonable request is a total red flag. He could be living a double life or just doesn't want to reveal his real appearance to you. Either way, your relationship probably won't progress much further than endless messages, so it's best to break things off at the beginning.
12 The Perpetual Texter
This guy also has zero plans of ever meeting in person but unlike the catfisher, he’s not lying about his identity. He just evades every attempt that you make to meet up. He’s always too busy to meet, but he has enough time to send you a ton of photos and even Skype with you from time to time. He'll routinely bring up getting together, just to ease your suspicions that he's avoiding you, but he'll always flake out the day of the date. Since you can usually verify that he’s a real person, his motives aren’t clear, but it’s possible that he’s just bored and wants someone to chat with without the hassle of pursuing an actual relationship. If you're just looking for a texting buddy to pass the time with, then he'll be the perfect guy for you. But if you expect much more than that, you'll probably end up disappointed.
11 The Out of Town-er
This guy seems like your perfect match on paper. He's educated, attractive, kind, funny, and ambitious. You hit things off right away and spend the nights dreaming of the day that you come face to face with the most passionate man you’ve ever met—which should be soon since he only lives a few miles away. Or so you thought. When you finally bring up plans to meet (a topic that he totally avoids), he confesses that he actually lives halfway across the country. Your fantasy of meeting up after work and staying over at his place on the weekends are crushed. He sincerely apologizes for not telling you the truth sooner and admits that he just wanted to “see what else was out there.” You’re crushed, but you try to make it work because he has a lot of other amazing qualities. Transparency, apparently, is just not one of them.
10 The Rebounder
He just got dumped by his ex and only joined Tinder to speed up his healing process. He may or not reveal that part to you, but you’ll be able to tell pretty easily and quickly. Since his ego has been bruised, he’ll use any attention that you give him to nurse his wounds. He'll message you frequently to get his mind off of the girl that broke his heart, but he actually couldn't care less about how your day's been going. He has no real interest in being with you and won't be able to make an emotional investment in your relationship. In fact, he will silently compare you to his ex. He'll basically be judging you and it's a competition that you will never win. He is okay to chat with for the short term, but he will drop you the minute he gets back with his ex, so it is probably best not to get too attached.
9 The Shamer
This guy believes that the only acceptable time for a woman to be intimate is with him. What's even worse? He doesn't even hide it. If you've been with other guys, you better not tell him about it or you'll sully his fantasy of being worthy of his time. If you do it, he’ll condemn you for jumping into bed too soon. And if you don’t respond to his advances the way that he wants (because he’s a douche) or reject him in any way, he’ll resort to calling you names. Basically, you can't win with this guy. And even after you inevitably block him he'll find a way to creep back into your messages, probably by ways of a fake account. Oh, and if you ever sent him any naughty photos, you can expect to see them posted online somewhere. Just saying.
8 The “Feminist”
Genuine feminist men do exist, but you should beware of a particular breed of “feminist." On the surface, this guy will seem to understand and totally empathize with the core issues that feminists fight for. You know, like narrowing the pay gap and gender equality. He'll seem well-read on the subject and contribute positively to conversations, but deep down, he doesn't care about the movement. Instead, he'll use your passion for his own personal gain. When a guy uses issues related to feminism as talking points, he's trying to impress you in the hopes that it will bring you two closer. If he's a real feminist, you'll be able to figure it out through casual conversations and his stance on politics. But if he's basically shoving his views in your face, he may be trying to manipulate you into liking him more. Don't fall for it.
7 The Hopeless Romantic
This guy is in tune with his emotions and seeks a partner that will be just as passionate as he is. Yeah, he's had a bunch of awful relationships but he's not jaded and truly believes that his soulmate is out there somewhere. He's extremely open about his desire to settle down and start a family. If you two get along, he'll send you sappy text messages "just because" and plan your date nights around rom-coms and home cooked dinners. His interests? Long walks on the beach (of course), horseback riding, and afternoons picnics in the park. He writes poetry and will leave you little notes around the house telling you how much he loves you. Basically, he's a real life version of the love interest in every romance novel that you've ever read. If you ever come across this guy, hold on tight and never let go.
6 The A-Hole
Even though he's been out of high school for years, he still gets off on putting people down because he thinks it makes him look cool. He lacks self-awareness and doesn't realize how he comes across, but honestly, he wouldn't care if he knew. He'll tell you what he thinks about anything, even (and especially if) you don't ask. Oh, and he can't deal when people disagree with him. If you're ever in a battle with him, just know that you'll never, ever win. He's just not capable of admitting when he's wrong or acknowledging another point of view. Meet this guy for dinner? He'll be super rude to the waiter and demand that he shouldn't have to pay for his meal because it wasn't up to his super high and unachievable standards.
5 The Sugar Daddy
He's an older man who wants a younger woman... and probably a submissive one at that. He's usually wealthy (or he at least claims to be) and brags about his life of luxury. He doesn’t feel the need to “sell” himself -- he assumes that you want his money so bad that you’ll accept him as he is. He's usually divorced or has been single for a while and is looking for female companionship. He'll definitely compliment you and shower you with gifts, but they always come with strings attached. He'll show you off to his colleagues to prove that he's still "got it" but that's as valuable as you'll be to him. He will use his money and influence to control you. You'll have a list of unspoken rules about how you should conduct yourself in his presence and he will always see himself as your superior.
4 The Clinger
Even though you’ve only had a few conversations, he already calls you baby and sweetie. He messages you all day long and never gives you enough time to answer. And if you don’t respond fast enough, he panics and uses every available means to get in touch. He either struggles with self-esteem issues and needs you to validate him, or he's got serious control issues and needs to keep tabs on you. Neither traits are good foundations of a healthy relationship. He honestly doesn't have a lot going on outside of your relationship and he's content to keep things the way they are. He's definitely not a bad guy, but he needs to learn how to find some balance in a relationship. In order for things to work, you’ll need to establish boundaries early on and communicate with him that you have your own stuff to do and won’t be accessible 24/7.
3 The Cheater
Not only is he taken, but a quick Google search of his name reveals that he is “happily” married and has an entire family living in North Dakota. He writes long, poetic Facebook status updates about being the luckiest man in the world and wears shirts that say "World's Greatest Dad." But he's been pursuing you for the last two weeks. This guy probably thinks you're going to bring some excitement to his totally boring life. He travels a lot, so it'll be totally easy for him to sneak away to meet up with you. He’ll splurge on expensive hotel rooms and may even bring you gifts but all you’ll ever be for him is a stress reliever. Not to mention, you’ll be labeled as a homewrecker if his wife ever finds out. Save yourself the trouble and stay away. Far, far away.
2 The Health Nut
He has an incredibly active lifestyle and you can totally tell from his photos. His profile picture is just a shot of his abs, and when you see his face, well, he's drop dead gorgeous. He also has photos of himself making protein shakes and doing push ups for your viewing pleasure. His bio lists his fave health-related activities. If you two get together, your dates will be all about working out and perusing the produce aisle looking for organic kale. You'll spend your Saturdays doing weigh-ins and evaluating each other's performance of the past week. Your only rest day will be on Sunday when you're meal prepping and buying more workout gear. If you’re into staying fit, he's the man of your dreams. But if you’re not used to pushing your limits his lifestyle might end up being too much for you.
1 The Great Catch
Every now and then, the moons and stars will align you'll actually find your ideal mate. He may not be perfect, but that's okay, because he's everything you could ever want in a partner. He's kind, thoughtful, and extremely supportive of your goals and hobbies. He makes a sincere effort to find out everything about you. You even share the same interests. He wants to find true love, not a short-term fling, and he's not afraid to commit to you. He dreams of an outdoor beach wedding and staring a huge family a few years later. You can see yourself with him for years to come, which is possible because he actually lives in your time zone and doesn’t have a secret family out there somewhere. Long story short: he's as close to perfect as you will ever get. Cherish him before someone else does.