No matter what society says, kids just aren't for everyone. Some people can't imagine ever having kids of their own. They don't want to have the responsibility of caring for another life and making the necessary sacrifices that one must make when they become a parent. On the other hand, some people don't think they'll ever be fulfilled until they have a child of their own to take care off. They just can't wait to have a little human to love, care for and nurture forever and ever. Also totally fine. But there's a third set of people: the undecided. They could see themselves possibly having a family because that's what you're expected to do, but they aren't totally sold on the idea of parenthood. Their attitudes towards kids are still being shaped by their interactions with them. One horror story could push them over the line. If you're one of those people, then you might want to keep reading. Here are 15 tweets that will make you think twice about having kids!
To anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2 year old threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2013
If you're young and don't totally understand how light works, I imagine having a shadow would be a real pain. Sometimes all you want is a bit of alone time, but here's this thing that doesn't talk, and has no eyes following you everywhere. I'd definitely be annoyed. But, come on, a full-blown tantrum? There are way better things to cry about, kid. Just wait until you have to like pay bills and survive on your own, then you can talk to me about crying!! Unfortunately, that's just how kids are. And if you want to have a baby, you must accept that they're going to cry. They'll cry over big things, over small things, and over totally ridiculous things. And there's nothing that you can do about it. They've yet to understand basic things and lead with their emotions. All you can do is wait for the storm to pass. The crazy thing is that it takes almost nothing to get them smiling again and they'll totally forget why they were sad in the first place.
99% of eating at a restaurant with kids is preventing them from spilling their drinks.— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) August 30, 2015
Everyone knows that you don't get to eat once you become a parent. Ever. Okay, okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. What we meant to say is that parents don't enjoy their meals the way that single people do. At least not when the child is under ten and near them. Kids are picky eaters and their preferences can change from day to day, so getting them to eat at home is a chore in itself. That's not even accounting for the days when you want to treat yourself and dine out. It will be almost impossible to get through the meal without some accident happening. Kids will spill things, then cry when you ask them to help clean up. If their food takes too long to get served, they'll have a tantrum right at the table. Then, you'll have other families judging you for your inability to control your child, which is totally embarrassing. And don't even let the food be one degree too hot, they simply will not eat it. Then you'll have to feed them again when you get home which totally defeats the purpose of eating out. All of these things definitely take the fun out of eating out, if you ask me.
Googling Literally Everything: A New Mom's Story— Lori Fradkin (@LoriFradkin) December 11, 2015
As cliche as it sounds, kids are the future. If people weren't constantly replenishing our earth with new little humans, the human race would cease to exist after the youngest generation aged out. Since new life is so important to our survival as species, you'd think they'd come with instruction manuals of some kind. Yet---nothing. For this reason, we have no idea to how to raise them or keep them safe. More importantly, there's no list of approved snack foods or shows that will keep them quiet. The only thing that we have is common sense, survival instincts and, of course, Google. If you're not fortunate enough to have a woman who's been through it before to help guide you, and sometimes, even then, google will be like a godsend! The only thing that mother's love more than their kids is talking and blogging about them. There are probably hundreds of thousands of mothers out there who can't wait to share their maternal wisdom with the world. Beware, however, mommy wars are a real (and terrifying) thing!
My kid just flushed her socks down the toilet because "dirty stuff goes there."— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) November 11, 2015
Sound logic, questionable execution.
When dealing with kids, you have to give them clear cut instructions. If not, they'll use your lack of clarity to their advantage. Kids are smarter than you think and technicalities are like weapons of war for them. Say it's been a long day and you're ready for your child to settle down for the night. You literally cannot take one more minute of their noise, so you ask them to go brush their teeth and then go to bed. They say "yes, ma'am" and don't push back, so you think you're home free. Yet, when you go check on them and an hour later, they're in their room watching TV! They're not in their pajamas and you can tell they haven't done anything that you asked. Sorry to tell you, but you're the one at fault here. That's because you didn't specify that the action had to be done now. You can't leave them with any room for interpretation or you can bet that they're going to find a loophole of some kind. So, as long as they eventually did what you asked, they think that's totally appropriate. It's actually brilliant if you ask me. If only they've use it for good, instead of evil.
Him: Mommy, what IS a postcard?— Eva Wilson/SocaMom® (@SocaMomDC) February 19, 2015
Me: A prehistoric text message.
Him: Did they send them on beepers?
Me: No. Just... no.
It seems like it was just yesterday that you were a moody teenager going through your emo phase. You had no responsibilities, could lounge around 24/7 and had your entire life ahead of you. But my, how the tables have turned! At some point, over the last few years, you turned into an actual adult who has an entire generation of people underneath you. You feel out of touch and feel like you're starting to lose your edge. This is reinforced by the fact that you have no idea who the most popular teen stars are and can't understand the current slang. Where you used to be the youngest, hippest person in the room, your kids will make you feel like you were born during the stone age. They won't get any of your pop culture allusions, they won't be interested in hearing your "old people" music and your tech, well they'll scoff at its inferiority. When they're learning how to play ball with robots and drones, you're wondering how you even got through your own childhood with ancient techs like VCRS and CD players. They don't mean to be this way or make you feel old. These things were simply before their time, just like you.
In case you're thinking about having a kid, my daughter just threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let her watch me poop.— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) December 31, 2012
Small kids have no sense of personal space. None! It doesn't matter if you're trying to shower, use the bathroom, or just have a quiet moment to yourself, they're going to want to be right where you are. This is even more true for kids who are extra attached. It's really sweet when you think about it, though. They associate you with being their safe, loving place and want to soak in as much of you as they can. Still, it can be pretty inconvenient. Even though you have a child, you still have things that you have to do like cleaning, cooking or running your own business. Sometimes, all three at once, which can be a real pain in the you know what. So unless you do those things while they're sleeping or at school, you're probably going to have to do them in their presence. Which can get sort of tricky. Motherhood turns even the most unorganized mess into a master multi-tasker, so at least you'll gain another super power. But you will still be super stressed and who wants that?!
I let my toddler dress herself.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 18, 2016
She's wearing a cupcake. pic.twitter.com/u6Mn5NTve7
I don't need to tell you that children are super messy. It's almost impossible to go one day without them spilling something on their clothes or our white carpets. If you have kids, your days will be filled with cleaning up after them, yelling at them to be more careful, making up with them after you make them cry and repeating it all again the next day. It's an exhausting cycle that won't end until they move out and go to college. Wait, you didn't think that teens were any better did you? That's funny. Teens are worse than kids in a lot of ways, but that's for another article. Most kids don't mean to be messy (though some definitely do), they just haven't learned how to pick up after themselves yet. And until they do, you're going to have to pick up their slack. Unless, of course, you don't mind living in a messy environment.
Me: "You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!"— Wendy S. (@maughammom) December 1, 2015
Grandma: "Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."
Your parents are going to treat your kids better than they treated you. Okay, maybe not better, but they definitely won't be as strict with. You know it's true. Think back to when you were a kid. When you got in trouble by your parents, who did you run too? Your grandparents. They were always there to coddle you and make you feel better. That's because, since you technically weren't their responsibility to raise, they could focus on the fun things like showering you with praise and giving your gifts! So, don't expect this to be any different when you have your own kids. Your parents, who were once super strict, will seem like completely different people once you have your own kids. They'll ignore the rules you set for them, buy them ungodly amounts of toys, and even make you seem like the bad guy from time to time. But, what can you do? You have to respect them no matter what. Besides, you'd be a total hypocrite if you did because your grandparents did the same for you!
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.— Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
Kids, like diamonds, are forever. Yes, really. That whole 18-years and done thing only happen in the movies. You don't get to ship them off to college and never see them again only on holidays and birthdays. In the real world, your kids will always be a huge part of your life until you take your last breath. Sweet right? Yes and no. While you'll have a lifetime of love and affection from them, you'll have just as long for worry, strife, and arguments. Doesn't sound so great now, does it? As long as you both live, a huge part of yourself will be inside of them and whatever affects them will affect you. And just wait until they have kids of their own. You will basically be starting the entire process over again. There is no escape, no breaks and no sabbaticals from parenthood. Once you're in, you're in for life.
Me quickly losing my patience: Girls! I'm sick and tired of you two not listening to me!— The Dose of Reality (@TheDoseTweets) January 28, 2016
Both kids in unison: What'd you say?
All kids have selective hearing. Every single one of them. You can be within a few feet of them and everything you thought they heard went through one ear and out of the other. This is especially true when you're giving them instructions they don't want to hear. You have to be careful to not get too upset over it, though. They don't really mean to be disrespectful, not that it really makes it any better. It's totally annoying. But you have to realize that they just have a lot going on in their minds. They're thinking about school and friends and games. Or, about that movie they want you to take them too next. Basically, your boring instructions are the last things on their list. In order to get them to listen, you might start raising your voice or nagging them more often, which will not only get on their nerves but yours as well. But that's just a fact of life when dealing with children. You're going to have to repeat yourself all of the time.
Thank goodness it's the Tooth Fairy that handles all the tooth/money exchanges *pours glass of wine & forgets all about it*— Laura Gibson (@TheBratRace) January 24, 2016
Kids---so, sweet, so innocent...so very, very naive. They believe in things like Santa clause and the tooth fairy and you have to go along with it to keep from breaking their hearts. It can be totally annoying to play this game. You're giving your kids your hard earned money, yet some fairy with a weird addiction gets all of the praise. And don't even get me started on Santa Claus. Sadly, there's nothing you can do unless you want to scar your kids prematurely. You remember when you believed in this stuff and how sad you were when your parents told you the truth, right? It was probably awful and the first shred of innocence that was taken from you. That's why, if you start the tradition, you have to keep it up until they're old enough to handle the life-altering news. Which, is like right before they start middle school. Otherwise, some disgruntled child who found out before them will tell them with great pride. And you'll just look like an a-hole.
Asked my 5 yo brother why he was changing clothes to go out 5 hours from now and he said "if you stay ready you don't have to get ready"— Shakira (@jodecicry) August 13, 2015
Adults automatically assume that we're wiser than kids. We've been around longer than they have and have experienced things that they won't for years to come. That doesn't mean that we can't learn from them, though. You can learn things from someone regardless of their age. If you have kids, you will quickly figure out that some of them are wise beyond their years. And sometimes, they will scare you and make you wonder what you're doing wrong. The reason being is that kids just think differently than adults. Whereas we might harp on a problem for days with no resolution in sight, a child might find the answer in a couple of minutes. They're not afraid to try new things and approach situations with confidence. This is because they've never been beaten down the way that we have or experienced humiliating failures. They believe they can do things because no one's ever told them that they can't. As silly as it sounds, if you're not secure in yourself, you might find that your kids make you feel inferior. Crazy right!? It's true, though.
Top ways to screw up your kids:— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) July 16, 2016
3) parenting them too much
2) not parenting them enough
1) parenting them exactly the right amount
There's no formula for raising the perfect child. If there was, the person who cracked it would have written it down, self-published it as an ebook, listed it on Amazon and become like a trillionaire by now. Oh come on, you know they would have! We live in a capitalistic society, after all. The fact is that no matter how much of an attentive, loving parent you might be, there is no guarantee that your child will become a good, kind, successful person. And you're just going to have to accept it. Sometimes, people get on wrong paths that they just can't get out of and that's just how life works. I guess the upside to that is that the opposite applies to people who were brought up by crappy parents. There are many, many people who didn't let their unfortunate upbringing dictate their adult lives. The point is that you never really know how anything will turn out. So, if you're used to being in control of every aspect of your life, you might need to rethink having kids. Otherwise, you might be in for a rude awakening.
This kid asked me for some skittles but I had just finished them so he stared at me like this the entire flight pic.twitter.com/Doavgl6ZX1— joshua kimmich stan (@CallMeHuss) September 3, 2015
Children want what they want when they want it. If you don't give in to their demands, then you should definitely be prepared to face some steep consequences, which, more often than not involves their sad, pouty faces. Which, we'll admit is pretty hard to resist. (Hey, we're not monsters after all!) Even if we've been firm for good reason, all it takes is one quivering lip to break us down. Those big eyes, those squishy cheeks will get us every time! They definitely know how to pull at our heartstrings. Worse, once they realize the effect they have on us, they will use their power for evil. So, if you don't want to turn into a pile of mush every time they're sad, lonely, or hurt, you might want to rethink the whole kid thing. And if you're not moved by cute, little faces, then you might also want to rethink having kids because you must be like made of stone or something.
People my age are making babies and I can't even make a salad— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) May 7, 2015
Have you ever felt that maybe you're just not mature enough for children? Like, if you had kids right at this very moment, they'd probably end up being an international bank robber? Or, like a mad scientist or something similar? Or maybe, you might like to forget to feed them some days? Believe it or not, lots of people feel this way. So, if you have you definitely shouldn't feel any shame. It's better to realize that you're not ready before the kids are here than to have kids and screw them up. All jokes aside, raising children will be the most important job that you ever have. So you should make sure that you're emotionally prepared to handle them or else you might end up living a life that you didn't want and that your child didn't ask for. Which sucks all around. Besides, not being ready yet doesn't mean that you shouldn't ever have any. It just means that you should probably wait a few years until you're more responsible.