When you’re in a relationship, it’s all too easy to slip into comfortable behaviors and act-out in certain ways because you think you can. Some people think that once you seal the deal of being in a relationship, it gives you carte blanche to let loose. And while it’s great to be able to be yourself in front of your partner, you might be unleashing some toxic habits that are actually getting on his nerves. There are a whole bunch of surprising habits that might put your man off of wanting to spend time with you, despite how much they may care for you and love you. Becoming aware of some of these toxic quirks could help ensure your relationship doesn’t fall apart, and make sure your partner doesn’t want to spend less and less time with you.
It’s important to pay attention to all aspects of your relationship, no matter how small they may be. What may seem like seemingly inconsequential behavior might actually be the thing that causes a negative shift in how he feels about you. Pay attention to what seem to be his pet-peeves and anything that might bug him. You should never change yourself for somebody, but you can try to improve on habits that might be causing irreparable damage. Check yourself against these 15 toxic habits, you might see you have some things to think about.
15. Insensitive Teasing Is Never Pleasing
It’s important to be able to have fun and joke around in a relationship and many of the strongest couples rely on fun and laughter to keep their relationship fresh. However, it’s also important to know the difference between innocent, fun joking around and mean, cruel-natured teasing. It’s not uncommon for jokes to be taken too far on occasion, but constantly bringing your partner down and trying to pass it off as “all in good fun” is not okay. Directing the wrong kind of humor towards your significant other can be detrimental to the overall fabric of the relationship, and can result in your partner feeling attacked, knocking their confidence in the process. Watch out that you don’t tear them down due to insensitive joking or offensive jabs at their character and appearance. If you care about your partner, you’ll keep jokes in check and keep the laughter good-natured.
14. A Lack of Self-Care Will Make Him Not Care
Being able to take care of yourself is part of being an adult, and no one wants to be with someone who can’t keep on top of their health and hygiene. We all have lazy days where we can’t be bothered to wash our hair or put on our makeup, and we shouldn’t always have to feel like we’re “on show” all the time. However, not attending to your personal hygiene or not taking care of health issues that you have are things that significant others won’t put up with for long. Not only does a lack of self-care put other people off, it shows that you don’t care enough about yourself, so why should they? If you don’t attend to your health needs, your partner will feel forced to get you to do something about it, which ultimately will make your S.O. feel like they’re taking care of a child, not their romantic partner. This can be incredibly frustrating, and it’s likely that they’ll get sick of constantly having to take care of you when you could easily just do these things for yourself. Love yourself, and others will too.
13. Nit-Picking is Problematic
It’s natural that when you care about somebody, you want to help them be the best version of themselves. Often this will mean supporting your partner’s hopes and dreams, giving them a helping hand in difficult situations, and making constructive suggestions on how they can do and be better. However, it’s important not to make them feel badly about themselves or pick on every little thing they do. There’s a difference between offering constructive help and being overly critical, so be sure you don’t tread into hurtful territory when trying to “help” your partner. Being overly critical will swiftly erode the foundations of your relationship and will chip away at the trust you and your partner have. No one wants to be made to feel badly about themselves, especially from the person closest to them. If you keep nit-picking and criticizing your man, you’ll soon find that he probably doesn’t want to be around you very much anymore.
12. Being Clingy Is Never Cute
If you’re in a relationship, it probably means you love spending time with your significant other. That’s what love is all about, right? Sharing quality time together is important for two people who are together, but it’s important to remember that everyone needs a little space now and then. Even couples in the strongest, healthiest, closest relationships will know that there’s a time and a place to be apart from one another and give each other the space they need to see their friends, pursue their hobbies, or just enjoy some time alone to unwind. People also have different levels of comfort when it comes to PDA and demonstrations of affection, so remember to respect what your partner feels okay with when it comes to outward showings of emotion around other people. It’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries and wishes, so keep this in mind when you’re perhaps the overly affectionate one in the relationship. If your partner starts feeling uncomfortable or suffocated, he might be inclined to spend less and less time around you.
11. Bad Table Manners Will Put Him Right Off
Your partner is still likely to love you even if you have atrocious table manners, but it will probably mean they want to avoid you when eating and going out is involved. Loud chewing, talking with food still in your mouth, and scraping your fork against the plate are things that are deeply unpleasant to deal with when eating with someone, and even though it might not seem like that big of a deal, these bad habits can really grate on someone if they have to deal with it all the time. If you’re having a meal with your partner, make a conscious effort not to gross him out with bad table manners. You might not even realize that you’re guilty of some of these less-than-pleasant eating habits, but while you may have grown immune to the noises and habits, your partner will likely notice the unsavory behaviors and be put off from spending extra time with you over meals.
10. If You’re Obsessed With Your Phone, He’ll Call It Quits
For some people, their phone is just an extension of their arm and for many it can be difficult going a few hours, let alone a few minutes without staring at your phone screen. Phones have become such an essential part of our everyday lives, and many rely on their mobile devices for everything from entertainment, to work, to organizing their entire yearly schedules. However, spending too much time on your phone can pose real problems for your relationship. There are few things that are more frustrating and more infuriating than trying to have a conversation with somebody while they’re messing around on their phone. Not being able to put your phone down even for a while when you’re spending time with your significant other shows a lack of respect and fundamentally a lack of interest in your partner. If you can’t seem to look away from your screen, your partner is likely to think you don’t care enough about him to actually pay attention to him. Give your man the attention he deserves. Instagram will still be there, so just give it a rest for a while when you’re with him.
9. Dominating Conversations Is Dangerous
While it’s great to voice your thoughts and views and be a vibrant conversationalist, it’s another thing using your voice as a foghorn and not letting anybody else get a word in edgeways. Constantly hogging the floor during conversations is a toxic habit that is frustrating for many partners to deal with, especially if it’s your significant other who wants to do some speaking but you’re just not giving him the chance. Part of being a good partner is learning to listen and letting the other person say what they want to express. Even though you might be dying to give your opinion on something, wait your turn if you’ve been dominating the conversation thus far. If you’re consistently monopolizing conversations and giving lectures and monologues, you’re likely to put off your significant other who’ll feel like you don’t think his opinion is worth listening to. Learn to listen and give your man the opportunity to talk. Maybe he has something interesting to say? There’s only one way to find out…
8. Being An Inconsiderate Sleeper Will Make Him Hit Snooze On You
Sharing a bed with your partner is an intimate and beautiful thing, but it can become unpleasant if you’re an inconsiderate bed-partner. Snoring, hogging the sheets, and spreading out like a starfish are all okay if you’re sleeping by yourself, but if you’ve got someone else in there with you, it can become a real problem. If you’re guilty of any of these bed crimes, it’s likely your man isn’t getting the restful sleep he wants and needs, and if he’s consistently getting poor rest, it’s likely to be getting on his last nerve. Obviously we can’t always help what we do in our sleep, but recognizing that there might be a problem, and actively letting him know that you’ll try to resolve the issue will go a long way towards making him feel better. If you’re a chronic snorer, try finding a way of taming the sound. Have a tendency to spread out? Make an effort to keep to your side. Sharing a bed with someone you love is a privilege, so don’t let inconsiderate behavior get in the way of a good thing.
7. Being A Stickler for Rules and Chores Is A Bore
Being in a couple is basically being part of a team, so it’s good to share your responsibilities and chores equally to avoid unfairness. You and your partner should both contribute to things that need to be taken care of, but becoming a drill-sergeant or a nagging bore will likely put him off the idea of lending a helping hand. No one wants to feel like their significant other has become more of a parent than a partner, so ease up on the nagging and the ordering around if you have a tendency to be a stickler for perfection and having things just so. It’s important to remember that fun and positivity are two essentials to a healthy relationship, and while staying committed to chores and responsibilities are necessary for living, it’s never a good idea to be seen as more of a bore than as someone fun.
6. Being Reckless With Cash Will Make Him Dash
Money is great, but it sure does cause a lot of trouble! Issues relating to finance can be one of the make-or-break things in a relationship, and it’s good to know how you and your partner differ or gel in terms of money if you’re looking to get into a serious relationship. If you happen to be someone who can’t help but spend cash, it’s likely to cause some problems if you’re with someone who’s more fiscally responsible. They say it’s a good idea to go on vacation with your partner, because that’s the perfect way to see how they deal with stressful issues, including the handling of cash. If your man sees that you’re too irresponsible when it comes to spending, it could be the thing to put him off of wanting to forge a long-term commitment to you. If you know you have a tendency to burn cash like there’s no tomorrow, consider trying to improve on financial responsibility. It could be the key to saving your relationship.
5. Being Messy Will Make Him Testy
If you’re in a relationship and you happen to be messier than your significant other, it can cause a lot more friction and tension than you might expect. When it comes to tidiness, everyone is different. Everyone will have their own routines and ways of doing things, and what might seem like a horrid mess to some will seem perfectly acceptable to others. That being said, if your partner happens to be a much cleaner person than you, it’s likely that your easy-going attitude towards cleanliness is seriously putting him off. If you know that you have problems taking care of your mess, do your best to try and be a bit tidier. Nothing is worse than feeling uncomfortable around your significant other, and if your room or house looks like a demolition site, it’s likely to be putting your man right off of hanging around your space with you.
4. Taking And Never Giving Is A No-No
Sharing and caring are essential in every relationship, and if you love your partner, you should be just as eager to do things for him as you are to receive things from him. Expecting your man to constantly be spoiling you with gifts, sweet messages, and demonstrations of affection and yet not returning any of these favors is likely to wear on him, and let’s be honest, it’s just not fair is it? He might not say it to you directly, but it’s safe to assume that he wouldn’t mind being treated to some kindness and spontaneous generosity once in awhile. Constantly taking and never giving anything back in return is reflective of a selfish and self-absorbed character, and no one wants to stay with someone who’s all about themselves and shows no thanks in return. If you’re constantly on the receiving end and you haven’t given your man anything in return, it might be time to change your ways. Otherwise, you might end up with nothing and no man at all.
3. The Silent Treatment is Shutting Him Out
We’ve all done it before, and for some of us it’s a go-to way of dealing with our partner when we’re not happy with them. However, constantly relying on the silent-treatment instead of facing problems and issues we might be having with our significant other is not a healthy or constructive way of dealing with things. Relationships rely on communication in order to successfully and happily work, so clamming up and giving your man the cold shoulder will inevitably end with more frustration and more problems than you started with. It’s easy to think that by giving him the silent treatment, you’ll somehow have the upper hand, but what if he decides he’s had enough of your running away from the problems? It’s better to confront the issues head on than to resort to silence and passive aggressiveness. It may not be fun talking problems out, but by being open and honest through discussions, you’re more likely to bridge any gaps that have crept up between you and your partner.
2. Constantly Drawing Comparisons Will Erase Him From The Picture
When it comes to relationships, comparisons can be a dangerous and toxic thing. Comparing your relationship to other people’s or even to previous relationship you’ve had can lead to serious, damaging consequences with your partner. No man wants to hear about how great your friend’s boyfriend is or how wonderful it was when your ex did certain things for you. Not only does it knock your man’s confidence by saying these things, it also makes him think that you’re fundamentally unhappy with the way your relationship is going with him. If you are unhappy with your significant other, have an honest and frank discussion with him about how you’d like things to improve. What you definitely shouldn’t do is talk about how great all these other people’s relationships are, and not bring anything constructive to the table about your own situation. Leave the shoulda, woulda, couldas at the door and work on being happy with what you’ve got. If you’re still not satisfied, make pro-active decisions that will best benefit both you and your partner.
1. Creating Unnecessary Drama Is Damaging
When you’ve been together with someone for a while, things can often feel like they’ve slumped into a dull pattern of sameness, and you might be feeling a little bored of the usual routine you’ve become used to with your partner. And, while wanting to liven things up isn’t a bad thing, creating unnecessary drama in the relationship is. Picking petty fights, getting jealous over silly things, and banning your S.O from hanging out with certain people might seem like ways to throw some action into your relationship, but all they’re doing is putting stress and strain on you and your partner. Creating this type of drama is never the solution to putting a little bit of variety in your relationship. Likewise, if you’re creating problems of this sort just to see how much your partner cares, well, you’re in for a whole heap of hurt. Your man will only be able to put up with being tested like this for so long, and while they might have cared to start with, after continuously being tested, they might end up not caring at all.
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